Urgent. Will die without reading.

• 10:11 Everyone I talk to at AT&T sound like sleepy retards. #
• 11:52 Lining Aunt Jemima bottles all in a row. Gonna bowl ’em over with a hog head. Skippy’s next. #
• 17:35 Checking into the Hotel Bella Morte. Please forward all calls. #
• 20:10 Thinking about albinos. I never see any, it’s like they live in the sewers or something? Come out and play, albinos! #
• 22:17 Lamenting that no one ever wants to get drunk against mausoleum doors with me. Sober up later by floating down the river in a douche canoe. #

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