Aug 292010

If you’re a zombie fanatic, you might know that Pittsburgh is pretty much a Babylon for enthusiasts of the staggering undead. Night of the Living Dead and Dawn of the Dead were both filmed nearby, considering George Romero (and Tom Savini) is from the area. Monroeville Mall (the mall from Dawn of the Dead) even has a small (but growing!) zombie museum inside a collectible toy store. The proprietor of the museum sent out a Facebook invitation to a zombie car wash which was going to be held in the mall parking lot.

Chooch is really into zombies; this isn’t a newsflash to anyone. He expressed interest in attending the car wash, but I kept having flashbacks to his zombie birthday party when seeing Bill all made-up into a walking corpse freaked Chooch out so bad that he scrambled into the car and cowered on the floor under the steering wheel. The whole way to the mall, Henry and I prepped him.

“You know it’s not real, right?”

“They’re just people with make-up on.”

“It’s for charity so don’t fuck this up!”

The proceeds of the car wash went to the Animal Rescue League, so it was even more incentive to go out and support the zombie laborers.

Chooch was a little taken aback for the first few seconds, but then found true love in the form of a Bettie Page-esque zombie-girl in a bloodied white dress. She kept staggering over to his window while we sat in the line of cars awaiting our team. He was completely smitten.

This dude was sincerely freaking me out. He was wearing coveralls that said “Jake.” If you’re ever in the market for an intimidating tune-up, you should hire him.

I kept saying, “Look, he’s one of Blake’s friends” and I bet Blake would have pissed if he was there. “WHY BECAUSE HE LOOKS SCENE AND I’M SUPPOSED TO KNOW ALL SCENE KIDS?” is what I can hear Blake yelling. He gets so angry at my stereotyping!

Can you imagine if zombies were real? Chooch would be like the Holy Grail of victims. They’d take one look at his melon-head and get boinging appetite hard-ons at the thought of the mother-whompin’ brain inside there.

Later that night, I was sitting inside Pixie’s car waiting for Jessy. I was telling her about the zombie car wash and then glanced over at my car which was parked next to hers.

“They didn’t do a very good job,” I murmured, noticing streaks of baked bird shit.

“Fuckin’ zombies,” Pixie spat.

  10 Responses to “Zombie Car Wash!”

  1. Love those photos! And that’s a hilarious car wash – nice change from bikini clad high school girls :). My boys would have been so into it.

  2. This is AMAZING! I love the pictures. The one of the zombie girl smashed up against the windshield made me want to scream a bit. I would totally get a car wash from a zombie!

    I found you on blogfrog and I’m really glad I did! Can’t wait to read more.

  3. I am beyond jealous of all of this.

  4. Thank you so much for letting me post a few of your fantastic pictures. You got some great shots. You can see my post at my blog (
    Love your paintings also in your Etsy shop!

  5. if i had this as an option my car would not be the filthy beast it is today. so awesome! guess i will just have to be content with watching the walking dead when it comes on amc. unless…..

    i couldn’t find a zombie car wash in my town, but i neglected to look up any other zombie ventures. gotta go. i suddenly have a lot of research to do!

  6. Fantastic idea! I would totally let zombies wash my car. I would keep a shotgun in the back seat just in case though. ;)

Say it don't spray it.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.