Dec 062010

The other day, one of my co-workers asked if we were taking Chooch to see Santa.

“Well,” I began hesitantly. “Since we’re so…’alternative,'” and if I had my quotation tattoos on my fingers like I want so badly, I wouldn’t have had to go through all the effort of BENDING them into air quotes, “we’re taking him to see Zombie Santa.”

She looked at me strangely for a split second, then threw her head back in laughter. Behind me, Barb wasn’t even fazed. She’s sat near me long enough now that nothing I say or do really shocks her. To Barb, this was just another family outing for the Kelly-Robbins clan.

And that is just what we did Saturday night at Monroeville Mall. My friend Kim was there with her boyfriend Chris, so that was cool because I don’t really see her very often. Kim got me into my first bar when I was 17, so she will always be special to me! I can remember sitting at the Blue Rock in Port Vue, being very obviously underage and getting trashed off of Seabreezes. Lisa (she’s the one who introduced me to Kim) kept taking the drinks away from me and every time she would look away, Kim would push another toward me.

Kim also tried to talk me out of getting my hair cut at some shitty Fantastic Sams or Bo-Rics when I was 18 but I wouldn’t listen to her and wound up walking out in tears and wearing a scarf around my head for weeks. In August.

I think we also ate donut holes that day at my house with Lisa?

It was nice to have them to talk to while Chooch ran around Time and Space Toys, yelling CAN I HAVE THIS I WANT THIS. I hope Kim knows I wasn’t joking when I said she can borrow him anytime she wants. ANYTIME.

Zombie Santa was finally ready so we all walked into the back where the zombie museum is set up and Chooch nervously sat down. He couldn’t even look at the scantily clad elves, let alone allow any of them to get in the picture with him. Apparently, zombie girls make Chooch very shy.

Hey Erin, try to remember to check the settings on the camera once in awhile. Christ.

There was a table of COOKIES set up that we got to enjoy while waiting for the Santa picture to be printed out for us. There was one particular powdered sugar cookie that I was really feeling. It wasn’t a Russian teacake, but nearly as wonderful. While we ate cookies and repeatedly said, “No,” to all of Chooch’s begging, Kim and Chris mentioned that they had been thinking about going roller skating and I nearly choked on my tongue that’s how fast I said I was up for it. Like I would ever say no to rollerskating. So Kim, if you’re reading this – set that shit up!

It’s always the same people playing zombies at these events so I’m beginning to recognize them now. Chooch’s girlfriend from the Zombie Car Wash was there as a (SUPER HOT) bloody elf, so we forced him to get his picture taken with her. He didn’t want to wait his turn so the security guard who was having his picture taken at the time eventually just called Chooch over to join him.

  17 Responses to “Zombie Santa 2010”

  1. Gods your life fascinates the fuck our of me … and the hot zombie elves = WIN!

  2. That is so awesome! I can not wait to get down to Pittsburgh, tiny towns are not for me.

  3. I’m totally dying over here! As soon as I saw the photo you posted on twitter, I immediately forwarded it to my mom who proclaimed it “way cute”
    Were there other kids there?

    • There were other kids there! Even a few babies, which made me laugh. The best part was that the “real” Santa was set up right outside of the shop in the mall. We laughed at all the normals in line, lol.

  4. Oh My God, I am so jealous that you even have Zombie Santa! Because he’s not scary enough already. B and I would have showed up in our own costumes and everything. Seriously, the possibilities are mind-boggling.

  5. I used to think it was kind of unusual that Chooch was so into zombies. Not bad, but I didn’t know any three/four year olds who liked them. Then Delia saw about 10 minutes of Shawn of the Dead and couldn’t stop talking about how much she loves zombies. She told her grandparents all about how her and mommy love zombie movies and zombies are so cool and they eat your brains and she’s going to watch all the zombie movies. Kids are so weird!

    • Kids ARE weird!

      I can’t even remember how Chooch got into zombies. It wasn’t something that I pushed on him, it just sort of happened. He was into vampires firs though – remember his Lost Boys phase, lol?

      It’s cool that Delia is into it now too! I still get shit from people, like they think I’m grooming Chooch into being a serial killer because I let him watch this stuff. But as long as it’s not scaring him, and we remind him that it’s not real, I don’t see what the problem is. Cartoons are chockful of violence too, so whatever!

  6. I LOVE the last picture! Chooch just looks like he’s having a fabulous time.

  7. Gee thanks Erin. Thanks for broadcasting to the entire internet that I contributed to the deliquency of a minor. :)

    I remember the hair dilema like it happened yesterday. You two trying to drag me to Fantastic Sams but I was having nothing to do with those Beauty School rejects. Jeez were you pissed. The only thing we could do to keep you from going back there and going postal was feed you sugary goodness. LOL!

    We can skate pretty much anytime. Just let me know when works best for you. And I am totally up for watching Chooch whenever. I have a major horror movie collection to corrupt his tiny little mind with. LOL

    • It just makes you look cooler!

      Once the holidays are over, pretty much any weekend is good for me to go skating. Can you text me so I have your number? Henry wiped out all my contacts when he was trying to upgrade my phone on Sunday.:(

  8. We would never have anything as cool as this in Utah, EVER! Santa is a God here and so it would be blasphemy to have a zombie version.

    Chooch is the coolest!

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