I can’t believe how fast October slipped through my fingers. I’m actually pretty depressed—it was such a crazy good month! But anyway, here is a recap – in photos mostly – of the rest of the haunted houses Henry and I went to.

We went to Allen’s Haunted Hayride for the first time in years mostly because I wanted to go to the Tavern of Terror, their separate haunted house. The last few times, we paid just for that but they were doing a Thursday discount where you could do that and the hayride for a reasonable price so we did that.

Honestly, the hayride hasn’t been good since I was a kid but it’s a classic, and you do it for the vibes.

We had the funniest couple of older women in line with us. “Older women.” They were between my age and Henry’s age. They were so hilarious and it made me miss the days when I used to go to haunted houses with Lisa and everyone in high school. All of my friends have aged out of haunted house joy and I get it, I do. They are expensive and most aren’t even worth it! But it’s my “what are you on the spectrum for?” answer. Still obsessed. Still get giddy. Still scour the listings online like I’m a data analyst.

We had a GOOD group on our wagon! We beat all the screaming kids in line and managed to have all adults on our wagon and one young girl who wasn’t annoying.

Henry was so disappointed in the hayride but I was like, “Bro, DO IT FOR THE ROMANCE!” I dunno, I think it’s cozy and fun to be on a hayride with your partner, even if it IS Henry.

The Tavern of Terror was so good as expected. We went through with the two women and they were lovingly making fun of me which you know is the way to my heart.

Afterward, we were at Sheetz. I tried to hold the door shut on Henry but then there were two guys behind me trying to leave so it backfired because I was just in the way and looked stupid. Henry was so happy.

But we got there in the middle of some hostile-sounding rant that some man was giving to the cashier. I thought he was complaining about some horrible thing that Sheetz did to wrong him, so I just blocked it out. Then I was standing there waiting for my drink order, when he made eye contact with me and CONTINUED HIS RANT.

“I’m not usually this fired up, but that just REALLY pissed me off! It ruined my whole day!” he said in the strongest Yinzer accent I’ve heard in a while (Dana from The Pitt should hang out with him for a minute, then she’ll see). I had NO IDEA what he was talking about because again, I wasn’t listening to his Karen monologue and I certainly did not want him to start at the beginning so I just went with it.

Turns out, he wasn’t an imbalanced person having an episode. He was a regular guy who wanted to get dinner at Burger King after a long shift and commute and something happened that had him waiting for 45 minutes and having a shitty conversation with the manager, at which point he reminded me for the 6th time THAT HE NEVER COMPLAINS BUT THIS WAS JUST TOO MUCH.

I let him beat my ear. I was too tired to shut it down and as a woman, I’m afraid to walk away from a man who is clearly heated. I also didn’t get a sense of threat from him so there was that at least. And I guess I get it — sometimes you just need to vent to strangers. He kept apologizing for dumping it on me and even apologized to Henry (WHO CARES WHAT HENRY THINKS) about taking his wife’s time and Henry was like, “NO YOU’RE FINE” like he would ever say anything contentious when it comes to my honor anyway!!

I had to laugh though because this was the third time in a week that I had found myself engaged in more than just small talk with a complete stranger. Henry said I had that look about me that makes people want to talk and this cracked me up because over 20 years ago, my ex-bff said that I was stand-offish and that is something that has stuck with me ever since, another layer to my constantly evolving complex.

So that was that.

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We also went to Sewickley Haunted Church! I love this one. It’s charming. It has heart. It’s not even Christian-y like you would think. I mean, this year’s theme was Camp Crystal Lake, for god’s sake.

I made Henry take pictures of me because I had a cute haunted house clip in my hair and then he didn’t even capture it.

 

We were the only people there without kids, LOL.

It was so good as usual! Henry refused to hold his own sign. He’s so weird sometimes.

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Another blast from the past haunt! The haunted house at Trans-Allegheny Lunatic Asylum was one that I haven’t done in nearly 10 years it seems, and Henry actually has never gone through it – he would always just wait in the parking lot, LOL. It’s about a 2.5 hour drive from Pgh but a really nice one because it’s a direction we don’t go very often so there are “new” things to look at.

The line for this one moved pretty quickly which actually was a bad thing because it just meant all the groups kept catching up with each other. There was some fun scare actor entertainment while we waited and even better, they were playing some pop-punk station so we didn’t have our ears boxed by country music which I would have assumed being in West Virginia. (YES, I JUDGE!)

Henry stalking back from the porta-potty. It’s like a compulsion, he has to use one anytime there is one on site.

You can also do flashlight tours for the actual asylum but we did not. I did that the first time I was ever there with my obsessive SWF ex-friend Seri. (Wow, two ex-friend mentions in one post!  I could do this all day. Fuck ’em all.)

I WAS SO PISSED YOU GUYS. They give you really nice tickets here only for the BLOODY NURSE working the line to TAKE THE WHOLE THING FROM YOU. I tried to ask if she could just tear mine and let me keep part but she kept cutting me off with a stern, “NO.”

I hated her and it actually nearly ruined my whole experience there. She put us with a group of 4 or 5 friends who were in their late 20s probably. They were fine. But the haunt itself was not nearly as terrifying as I remember it to be from past visits.

EW, lol.

Afterward, I went back to the ticket booth, pleaded my case, and managed to win over the ticket lady. She sighed and said in a half-whisper, “I’m just going to give you a new ticket. This is the last Sunday we’re open, anyway.” Because the Sunday tickets are specific for Sunday so it wasn’t like I could come back the following Friday or Saturday and go through again with a free ticket.

I profusely thanked her and said, “I’m leaving now, you don’t have to worry about me trying to go back through!”

Henry was coming out of the porta-potty (again) and I smugly waved my ticket to him. He just sighed and smirked. I am so anti-talking to people in public but when it comes to matters of journaling, I am suddenly a defense attorney in trial.

Or a door-to-door encyclopedia salesman from the 60s.

Why am I like this?

 

Stopped at the PA welcome center on the way home so Henry could pee AGAIN. There was a payphone so I was excited about that. I should have prank called Chooch. DAMMIT.

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Ahhhh! A new-to-us haunt! This one is called Fright Nights at Anderson Manor and it’s run by the Iota Phi Foundation which raises money and provides services and programs for underserved communities in Pittsburgh. It is Black-run and shows because the vibe was so positive, upbeat, everyone was socializing and there was so much inclusion that I felt like I was at a block party and not just standing in line for a haunted house. We talked for a good bit with the two women behind us, one of them had a daughter who was working as a scare actor that night, and it just was FUN. Not a single bad vibe. I especially loved the one guy working there who was fucking with me so hard about someone being so scared last year that they had to call an ambulance. First I didn’t believe him and I laughed. Then he kept on going with it and I felt bad for laughing! So then I believed him. This went on and on until finally he looked at Henry was said, “Wow she will believe anything won’t she?”

DAMMIT, lol. Haunted houses turn me into the ditziest broad.

This time I knew there were no tickets and we would have to turn in our “group #” slip so I made Henry take my picture with it like I’m a tourist about to enter the Louvre for the first time.

IT WAS SO CHAOTIC AND FUN! The house is huge and someone guides you through while you’re being jump-scared left and right by people who are happy to be there and put their whole hearts into it. That’s why I like these small charity-driven haunts way more than the corporate ones!!

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We hadn’t done Beastly Haunted Trail in a few years and decided to do this one AND hit the Trail of Terror in Carnegie on the way home. It was such a good idea because it was the most beautiful night and both trails were gold stars.

Why wouldn’t you want to give money to animals???

I didn’t realize until after I posted this on Insta but that’s my friend Kara’s friend’s cover band! I appreciate a haunt that has live entertainment. When we came out of trail, they were playing Matchbox 20 and I had to stick around to listen because in case you didn’t know, I was obsessed with them when they came out and to this day, when I hear “Push,” I am right back in Lisa’s car in the parking lot of Victory Haunted School, telling her, “We have to wait until this song is over!!!” and swooning over Rob Thomas.

JFC, I miss Lisa so much, especially around this time every year. My OG haunted house partner. :(

We were allowed to take pictures as long as we didn’t use flash and when I saw this sign, I was like, “OK that lady at the front said I could take pictures so I am—” and right then, I got jump-scared from both sides and actually JUMPED AND TWISTED in the air and tweaked my back pretty good, LOL. Is it even a good haunted trail if you didn’t hurt your back??

But yeah, this one is great. I laughed. I screamed. I censored my swears as best as I could, lol.

LOVE YOU, BEASTLY!

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OMG we haven’t been to this Carnegie trail since Chooch was REALLY LITTLE. But we decided to try it out just for funsies. First of all? WE HAD THE MOST CHAOTIC AND FUN GROUP IN THE SHUTTLE BUS. Granted it was mostly kids and then this one dad who was a TALKER. His name was Jim and even offered us cookies after talking to us for like 10 seconds. Just a super warm and funny personality. And then the family that ALL of the kids except for Jim’s son belonged to was also so funny and outgoing. I actually didn’t hate a single of the children—THEY WERE SO FUNNY AND CHARMING. I guess it’s a Carnegie thing. Kara is from Carnegie so this tracks!

We had to sit on the shuttle for a while because they were trying to pare the line down at the actual trail, so Jim’s wife used that opportunity to get off the bus to pee. Jim told the shuttle driver to leave her! But then the kids were like ISN’T THAT YOUR WIFE? and he was like DON’T TELL HER but as soon as she got back on the bus, they NARCd but she already knew because the guy in charge of loading the shuttle told her! Then Jim asked the driver to turn on the radio while we were waiting so he turned it on and BREAK MY STRIDE was playing so we were like YEAH PARTY TIME. Henry was frowning. Then when the bus finally started to move, Jim had all  the kids chanting Let’s Go Steelers. As we were waiting to turn onto the main road, we saw A DEER GET HIT BY A CAR AND THEN GET UP AND RUN AWAY!! Jim started yelling, “NO HE’S OK, EVERYONE! IT’S OK! DON’T WORRY!” and then turned around and whipsered to me, “DID YOU SEE THAT?” I was in tears but he and Henry both swore that it seemed fine.

So then Jim had everyone chant LET’S GO DEER and I participated in that one.

AND THEN THE TRAIL WAS SO FUCKING GOOD!!!!!!! Way better than its inaugural run! The chainsaw guys at both trails that night were worlds better than any of the ones we encountered at any other haunt this season, and ONE OF THEM WAS A CHILD.

Yeah, adding both of these trails to my annual “must-do” haunts. Worth it. Total feel good haunts and both of them were also selling baked goods, LET’S FUCKING GO.

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And then we saved the best for last (well, last for October!) by visiting our beloved Castle Blood after trick-or-treating ended on Halloween. Love this place so much, love Boris and his snappy wit, love all of the highly intelligent games that make me feel like the biggest stoop…it feels like home. That’s all I can say. It’s macabrely whimsical, it’s original, it’s theatric, it’s deeply sarcastic. You just have to go there and experience it!

The only bad thing is that our group was meh. I liked the one guy who seemed totally delighted at every turn, but I think we were spoiled last year when we were paired up by chance with Brooke and John. I still am in touch with Brooke! They just got engaged!! She is also a big wildlife and animal lover in general and I need to reach out and see if she wants to meet up some time.

As usual, (I legit typed “asual” instead of “As usual”) all of the deets are in my paper haunted house journal, but I wanted to post these pictures because it was just such a good month and now it’s November and everything feels weird again.

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