Jul 072008

Urgent. Will die without reading.

  • 03:23 Since I’m an American Funds shareholder, I get to vote in the Election of Directors. A dangerous power, or a powerful danger?  #
  • 03:43  Henry dreamt the other nite that he shot Craig Owens in the head. He was afraid to tell me the next day. I kind of wanted to slice him. #
  • 04:04  Starting to burn out on salads. Need new twists. Maybe acid tabs in lieu of croutons. #
  • 05:33 Henry QOTD: "I’m trying to figure out why you hate cops, considering you nearly killed one and almost all the others have let you off." #
  • 06:33  The only moves I have are Raise the Roof and Epileptic Seizure. #
  • 06:40  We go to restaurants and let Chooch play with knives. Watch for our upcoming column in Parents magazine.#
  • 07:00 Just walked past our old grasscutter Joe, sitting on his porch eating crackers and cheese. Don’t choke. No, choke. #
  • 10:03 I thought it when I was 10, and now I know its true: Corey Haim is my soul mate. #
  • 10:40 Wine from Christmas stemware and OnDemand music videos is how I wish I could wind down EVERY night. #
  • 10:49  Nevermind. Clown porn works, too. #

  • 12:31 I need a speedrope. And speed and a rope.  #
  • 01:25  I just may be the only person under 60 to own the soundtrack to The Mirror Has Two Faces. #
  • 04:12 Photographing ghettos is about as safe as it sounds.  #
  • 07:29 One of many things that scare the shit out of me: skyscraper mechanical floors. #
  • 01:15 Lately I’m wildly into the 70s. Mainly just the porn part of it.#
  • 01:20 If I found out horse semen was good for my hair, I’d be down the barn getting carpal tunnel from all the hand jobs. #

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  9 Responses to “Tweetz0rz”

  1. you and your damn clown porn!

    01:20 If I found out horse semen was good for my hair, I’d be down the barn getting carpal tunnel from all the hand jobs.

    that’s so sick- especially since you totally mean it.

  2. Some of my other blog friends post their daily tweets and none of them come even CLOSE to being as fucked up as yours. KEEP THEM COMING.

  3. I want to hear all about Corey Haim!!!!! Remember when he was dating Lala Zappa?

    • I loved him so much when I was a kid! Like every other girl, I used to buy TeenBeat or whatever the fuck that zine was, just so I could cut out all the pictures of him. I ordered a giant poster of him once, and my dad made fun of me so bad that I slid the tube under the couch and never even hung it up.

    • Now I want a poster of him to hang above my fireplace!!

  4. i loved corey feldman and he’s a cancer, so forreals, he IS my soul mate.
    i’ve met him, which is even funnier.

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