Jul 7

Tweetz0rz

Category: tweets

Urgent. Will die without reading.

  • 03:23 Since I’m an American Funds shareholder, I get to vote in the Election of Directors. A dangerous power, or a powerful danger?  #
  • 03:43  Henry dreamt the other nite that he shot Craig Owens in the head. He was afraid to tell me the next day. I kind of wanted to slice him. #
  • 04:04  Starting to burn out on salads. Need new twists. Maybe acid tabs in lieu of croutons. #
  • 05:33 Henry QOTD: "I’m trying to figure out why you hate cops, considering you nearly killed one and almost all the others have let you off." #
  • 06:33  The only moves I have are Raise the Roof and Epileptic Seizure. #
  • 06:40  We go to restaurants and let Chooch play with knives. Watch for our upcoming column in Parents magazine.#
  • 07:00 Just walked past our old grasscutter Joe, sitting on his porch eating crackers and cheese. Don’t choke. No, choke. #
  • 10:03 I thought it when I was 10, and now I know its true: Corey Haim is my soul mate. #
  • 10:40 Wine from Christmas stemware and OnDemand music videos is how I wish I could wind down EVERY night. #
  • 10:49  Nevermind. Clown porn works, too. #
  • 12:31 I need a speedrope. And speed and a rope.  #
  • 01:25  I just may be the only person under 60 to own the soundtrack to The Mirror Has Two Faces. #
  • 04:12 Photographing ghettos is about as safe as it sounds.  #
  • 07:29 One of many things that scare the shit out of me: skyscraper mechanical floors. #
  • 01:15 Lately I’m wildly into the 70s. Mainly just the porn part of it.#
  • 01:20 If I found out horse semen was good for my hair, I’d be down the barn getting carpal tunnel from all the hand jobs. #

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9 comments

9 Comments so far

  1. Bueno Mexicana July 7th, 2008 1:40 pm

    you and your damn clown porn!

    01:20 If I found out horse semen was good for my hair, I’d be down the barn getting carpal tunnel from all the hand jobs.

    that’s so sick- especially since you totally mean it.

  2. Tuna Tar-Tart July 7th, 2008 3:51 pm

    look i can’t help it ok! sometimes clowns can be sexy.

  3. MotherBonnie July 7th, 2008 8:41 pm

    Some of my other blog friends post their daily tweets and none of them come even CLOSE to being as fucked up as yours. KEEP THEM COMING.

  4. Tuna Tar-Tart July 8th, 2008 3:58 pm

    You’re a dork, MotherBonnie. I love you!

  5. Alyson Hell July 8th, 2008 11:57 am

    I want to hear all about Corey Haim!!!!! Remember when he was dating Lala Zappa?

  6. Tuna Tar-Tart July 8th, 2008 4:00 pm

    I loved him so much when I was a kid! Like every other girl, I used to buy TeenBeat or whatever the fuck that zine was, just so I could cut out all the pictures of him. I ordered a giant poster of him once, and my dad made fun of me so bad that I slid the tube under the couch and never even hung it up.

  7. Tuna Tar-Tart July 8th, 2008 4:04 pm

    Now I want a poster of him to hang above my fireplace!!

  8. satan's lady July 12th, 2008 2:39 pm

    i loved corey feldman and he’s a cancer, so forreals, he IS my soul mate.
    i’ve met him, which is even funnier.

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