Tweets: asphyxiating in a burlap sack

Urgent. Will die without reading.

• 17:26 Would rather be home, playing with my new lens. #
• 18:38 when henry makes baked tofu for dinner, i get this uncontrollable urge to marry him. then he leaves his socks on the floor & i’m over it. #
• 08:35 My bagel bitch is here. #
• 09:30 My own brother, a goddamn shit-sucking vampire. #
• 09:47 My neighbors moved out while Gremlins was on so I associated it with the Gizmo theme. It confused me into feeling sad. #
• 12:30 Henry’s trying to sell me at the neighbor’s yard sale. He’s making a sign that says "cheap ho." #

• 15:46 I wonder if Robocop knows that Christina has his lighter. #
• 17:09 Henry was on a city-wide search for jicama today, but refused to go to the Mexican market by our house because he’s scared of the Spanish mob #
• 17:10 Usually I’m so diligent about counting characters. #
• 18:30 Risked getting jumped for the sake of pitchure-takin’, ya’ll. #
• 19:17 Can muscle be donated? I have too much of that shit and I’d like to help some assholes get calf implants. #
• 20:49 We just got invited to a scene kid party. I wanted to go but Christina had just puked so she said no. #
• 23:52 Fucking nurses & dr’s keep coming in to talk to Christina while I’m TRYING TO WATCH THE REAL WORLD, FUCKERS. #
• 23:55 Christina utilized her time in the bathroom to not just give a urine specimen, but fix her hair as well. #
• 00:46 Christina’s hooked up to plugs and clamps but I had no shame in asking her for money for snacks. I have this friendship thing down. #

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POST TWEET EDIT: Christina is fine. She apparently had bronchitis and didn’t know it or some such shit.