Urgent. Will die without reading.
- 08:12 Perhaps Chooch has instilled me with maternal maneuverings after all. #
- 09:46 Dana smokes her crack pipes in the ghetto. #
- 11:39 Henry and I just had a fight about MTVs John Norris, which ended with Henry saying “I beat up depressed ppl daily” #
- 14:08 I wonder if I could get a homeless person to drink my blood. #
- 17:59 I thought Henry called me mommy but really he said “blow me”. Whew. #
- 10:07 @fondabruises I heard Ellen’s going to be at my kickball tourny so you should come too! #
- 10:57 It’s about to be all scene parties, horror movie marathons, and greasy pizza up in this hizzy. #
- 11:43 I don’t hate the Jonas Bros. #
- 16:11 Turns out I don’t miss my job nearly as much as I thought I would. Or at all. #
- 16:25 Every time we go to a gas station, henry acts like he’s never put gas in a car. Ever. In his life. Then he calls everyone else morons. #
- 17:16 Some bitch cut in front of us. I offered to kill her but Henry said he’ll let Karma take care of it. Fuck Karma, that unreliable twat. #
- 09:36 Having urge to weedwhack today. And not just nutsacks, but actual vegetation. #
- 10:41 I have a feeling life is about to get more crunk up in here. #
- 10:59 I hate that bitch who sings Clumsy in the KidzBop 14 commercial. She makes me feel enraged. In other commercial news, I want Bendaroos. #
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Henry found this small vinyl album chockful of delightful photos from his thirtieth birthday party that happened eighteen million years ago. I wonder if he still has that Coors t-shirt, and if the threads of which are still cocooned with the stench of Avon perfume and dirty stripper ass. His ex-wife probably squeezed it out into a bottle for her own enjoyment.
What really makes me smile is that directly following this debacherous photo set filled with silicone and porn star ‘staches, there are photos of his children taking a bath.
Oh Henry, you sly dog.