Aug 8
Tweets and a Sleazy Photo of Henry
Urgent. Will die without reading.
- 08:12 Perhaps Chooch has instilled me with maternal maneuverings after all. #
- 09:46 Dana smokes her crack pipes in the ghetto. #
- 11:39 Henry and I just had a fight about MTVs John Norris, which ended with Henry saying “I beat up depressed ppl daily” #
- 14:08 I wonder if I could get a homeless person to drink my blood. #
- 17:59 I thought Henry called me mommy but really he said “blow me”. Whew. #
- 10:07 @fondabruises I heard Ellen’s going to be at my kickball tourny so you should come too! #
- 10:57 It’s about to be all scene parties, horror movie marathons, and greasy pizza up in this hizzy. #
- 11:43 I don’t hate the Jonas Bros. #
- 16:11 Turns out I don’t miss my job nearly as much as I thought I would. Or at all. #
- 16:25 Every time we go to a gas station, henry acts like he’s never put gas in a car. Ever. In his life. Then he calls everyone else morons. #
- 17:16 Some bitch cut in front of us. I offered to kill her but Henry said he’ll let Karma take care of it. Fuck Karma, that unreliable twat. #
- 09:36 Having urge to weedwhack today. And not just nutsacks, but actual vegetation. #
- 10:41 I have a feeling life is about to get more crunk up in here. #
- 10:59 I hate that bitch who sings Clumsy in the KidzBop 14 commercial. She makes me feel enraged. In other commercial news, I want Bendaroos. #
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Henry found this small vinyl album chockful of delightful photos from his thirtieth birthday party that happened eighteen million years ago. I wonder if he still has that Coors t-shirt, and if the threads of which are still cocooned with the stench of Avon perfume and dirty stripper ass. His ex-wife probably squeezed it out into a bottle for her own enjoyment.
What really makes me smile is that directly following this debacherous photo set filled with silicone and porn star ‘staches, there are photos of his children taking a bath.
Oh Henry, you sly dog.
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karma is a twat- but eventually…
she does get around to it.
karma is just a procrastinator.
speaking of: sup henry?!?!? woo!!
you do HAVE to love the ‘stache.
p.s 08:12 Perhaps Chooch has instilled me with maternal maneuverings after all.
indeed. :)
I hate waiting!
Henry looks grossed out. Could it be that he wasn’t enjoying that nasty stripper ass? Or maybe he just looks that way because he’s about to go in for a taste. Ew. I just lost my appetite!
I bet Henry loses HIS appetite when he sees I posted this.
I’m glad you aren’t missing the old job! I don’t miss mine either. Not one tiny bit.
Also… OMG Henry lived in The Brady Bunch house. I swear that’s their living room. I swear!
I kind of thought I’d be sad for at least a few days, but NOT SO MUCH!
I usually left there feeling shitty about myself. Fuck that!
OK, now that picture is truly hilarious.
I wanted to post all of them, but I’m afraid of what he’ll do, lol.
everyone looked like a rapist in the early 80’s
That image stuck with Henry all the way through the nineties til now, poor shitsack!
How could you not miss this place? Just wait till i tell kim! Also, that picture is awesome, you should get it blown up and bring it to your kickball game.
This is going to be the best kickball game ever!!!
Best line of this entry?
“09:36 Having urge to weedwhack today. And not just nutsacks, but actual vegetation.”
Blow this picture up, make copies of the stripper and then play “Pin the Stripper on Hoover” at your kickball shindig!
Best idea!
Is there a story somewhere about how you and Henry met and fell in love and all that?
I have this short little rambling thing here: http://www.ohhonestlyerin.com/?p=142#respond
But to break it down: We met in 2000 at our job. I was the office manager and he was a driver. After a few months of “Shut up, I hate you”s, we went out for a drink. It was supposed to be a one-nighter (on my part anyway) but he kept stalking me and buying me presents. I finally succumbed and let him be my boyfriend, lol.
No one (or me, either) thought it would work because I was 22 and he was 36. I think it can be attributed to the fact that Henry is the most patient man. And probably a glutton for punishment, lol.
(So when Henry was having a stripper’s ass shoved in his face, I was like, 16. Ew, lol.)
PS He totally did NOT look that sleazy when I met him, I swear!
Is there a story somewhere about how and Henry met and fell in love and all that ?
“I wonder if he still has that Coors t-shirt, and if the threads of which are still cocooned with the stench of Avon perfume and dirty stripper ass.”
LOL! Avon perfume! You KNOW it was fucking Avon perfume, too! *cracking up so bad*
Oh GOD this is perfect. MORE PLEASE!
Best picture EVER. Although I feel a twinge of pity for thirtieth-birthday-Henry because he looks a wee bit uncomfortable to me here.