Archive for the 'travel' Category
Sunday Foods: Toronto Edition
I was going through my pictures and realized I have way too many for one post so you know what that means — whoooooboy multi-posts!
Since we were in Toronto in the dead of winter with very little time, we didn’t do any touristy things and instead just focused on being gluttons. Toronto is a meatless Mecca so our options were overwhelming, and luckily our resident Meat Man Henry is perfectly content eating vegetarian/vegan so we went, um, hogwild.
Except for breakfast which was just a quick stop to Tim Horton’s because this was like A BIG DEAL for Chooch and you have to throw the kid a bone here and there so that when they grow up and pen an in depth exposé on their childhood, it won’t be all doom, gloom, & my parents locked me in a piss-puddled storage closet, you know?
So here is a little run-down of Sunday’s eats, treats, & drinks.
Our first stop after Tim Horton’s was a Vietnamese cafe in Korea Town called Rustle & Still. I was drawn to this place by a promise of pandan and purple sweet potato latte options. I had a sweet potato latte in Busan and have been dying to have another ever since, especially a purple one! I eat purple sweet potatoes nearly every day at home. My diet is very niche.
My first impression of this place was that it’s very vegetation-friendly. I love plant-filled cafes!
My second impression was that it was not one of those snobby places that brings out a first-timer’s inner-n00b. The barista (possibly the owner? He had that owner-aura to him) had a friendly face and didn’t make me feel rushed.
Chooch and I had a game-plan that morning in the hotel, which consisted of me ordering the sweet potato and him going for the matcha pandan so that we could share, but once we were at the counter, he acted like this was BREAKING NEWS and got all weird and surly about it. He ordered it anyway, but then tacked on, “Because I guess that’s what I HAVE to order” and I was like “WTF is your damage, child!?” because he pulls this shit all the time and it’s bewildering to me. He has this knack for acting like I have all of these one-sided conversations when he, at one time, is a willing participant!
PARENTS, DO YOUR CHILDREN THROW YOU UNDER THE BUS LIKE THIS!?
Anyway, he also ordered a black sesame coconut cookie so that pacified him a little.
My lattes! Yes, I inherited Chooch’s matcha pandan latte because suddenly, he no longer likes matcha and apparently “never said that [he] did” so I guess that’s another dream-convo I had — am I even really here? Or am I living in the dementia ward at some Ukranian clinic? What is even real anymore!?
Mr. I Never Said I Liked Matcha
Mr. Everyone Knows I Don’t Like Matcha But I Will Drink Half of This Latte Because I Paid Like $10 For It
Oh you guys, I was so mad. BUT! The silver lining is that both lattes were just my style and I didn’ regret for a single minute the bloated belly (Chooch hates that word, so now I use it often) I received after drinking nearly 2 thick lattes in one sitting.
Afterward, we went into the city center and hit up Milk Bar at Momofuku. It was actually just a little self-serve area so we just grabbed some cookies and a to-go slice of crack pie and went about our way and by that I mean, Chooch and I fought with Henry as soon as we got outside because we act like we’re starving children just let out of a crate and we didn’t trust him not to eat everything so he threw the bag at us and stalked off toward the subway. Haha, what a bitch baby.
The next part of our food journey took us back to Korea Town that afternoon but not for Korean food, like you’d expect! Instead, we went to Apiecalypse Now, which is another vegan place that Chooch had his stomach set on. Henry and I were actually going to eat here the last time we were in Toronto, but the sweet fucking siren call of Korean food lured us a different direction.
We got here around 30 minutes after they opened so we were able to walk right up to the counter and order (I mean, after hemming and hawwing – there were so many choices!). We all opted for slices of the Pig Destroyer Destroyer which wins for best pizza and also best name because come on now. Henry also got a slice of the BBQ Buffalover which I think I would have loved had I not already tried the Pig Destroyer Destroyer, because anything after that one pales in comparison. It is the ultimate, meaty meatless pizza! I fucking inhaled my slice and the best part was that it didn’t make me sick to my stomach afterward like a regular slice of cheese pizza would. (Which sucks because I love pizza but it almost always makes me sick now.)
As you can clearly tell from the name of our pizza slices alone, this place has major punk aesthetic so I didn’t get that shitty “more vegan than you” vibe from it at all.
Chooch looks solemn in this picture but it was actually just because I had the nerve to take his picture while he was fumbling toward pizza ecstasy.
And here’s Henry (im)patiently waiting for me to TAKE THE FUCKING PICTURE so that he can finally have his carnivore card revoked. J/K. He liked his pizzas too but not nearly as much as he would had there been real fatty meat on each slice.
But I’ll tell you, I’m still talking about that damn pizza almost as much as the Winner concert, which is the actual reason we were in Toronto!
Family Portrait 2019
After a bunch of walking through the one-digit Toronto temps (actually I think it was like 10 degrees that day but, windchill) we headed back to the hotel and then ate dinner at a Viet-vegan joint called Dai Bi Chay. This was actually Henry’s choice! I was willing to eat at a regular restaurant, figuring that Henry would have been withering away by this point, but he was like, “Let’s eat more soy! Woo! Soy baby!”
Pages upon pages of glorious meat-free options, I could barely stand it. We had such a good meal there, even though someone behind Henry was eating like a very hungry man without his dentures in and you know it’s bad when HENRY, the White Noise of Annoying Sounds People Make, gets all up-in-arms and hoarsely whispers to me, “What is that behind me!?” And then it magically became less annoying for me, knowing that it was bothering Henry!
I don’t even remember what I had but the broth was piping hot and winter-perfect and the BBQ mock-meat lounging on top of the noodles was just a motherfucking delight. Henry also had some kind of noodle soup dish and this was the meal that he’s still talking about from the weekend. He loved it there!
Chooch had fried rice or something because he doesn’t believe in food adventures, but he had no problem eating more than his share of the appetizers we ordered!
Meanwhile, Chooch and I were so giddy. We have this running joke that whenever Henry is “going to the store” or “to the laundromat,” he is actually going downtown to this strip club called Blush and that his favorite stripper there is some broad named “Cheetah Girl” — Chooch created her but we talk about her all the time like she’s a real person in Henry’s life and he gets really mad about it. So for some reason, Chooch started googling strippers while we were eating and he was like, “HAHAHAHAHA HERE’S CHEETAH GIRL” but then I was like, “No, wrong one” so I googled, “Old ass washed-up strippers” and presented a picture of someone’s grandma sprawled out on a bed in black leather lingerie and at this point Chooch started choking and the waitress kept asking him if he was OK and Henry was signing off on the official Disowning Paperwork.
OMG my stomach hurts right now just thinking about how uproariously we were laughing over this while Henry had virtual steam billowing out of his ears and Chooch and I actually ran to the car ahead of him when we left because we were afraid he was going to beat us with his boot, lol.
(Disclaimer: Henry has never beaten us with his boot but there’s always a first time for everything!)
Henry will never stop eating meat but it’s really cool that he is willing (and without being a jerk) to eat vegetarian/vegan food every now and then. I mean, let’s be real, most times, Chooch and I have to scramble to find something to eat at regular restaurants or we have to settle for the generic Gardenburger of the 1990s. It’s nice to actually experience the other end of ordering anxiety – when there’s so much to choose and everything sounds delicious!
So hats off to Halftime-Herbivore Hank for indulging our plant-based needs.
Well, that concludes my Sunday food round-up. We didn’t purposely go to Toronto with a Go Veg or GTFO mindset, but it just happened that way!
No commentsSaturdeh in Toronto
We got a pretty late start to our drive to Toronto on Saturday which I wasn’t pleased about but Henry wanted to rent a car so that automatically meant we couldn’t leave until after 9 ugh Henry ruins everything however the car we rented had heated seats which was fantastic to have while traveling to freaking Canada in January.
So I’ll give him a pass this time.
The drive to the border was pretty uneventful but we did stop at that one travel plaza that requires one to cross over the highway via a skybridge so that was fun. This was also Chooch’s first time traveling along this route but he was buried in his phone the whole time and it’s doubtful he noticed anything except for when he expressed excitement upon spotting the General Mills building while passing through Buffalo. This was inexplicably a big deal to him?
One notable thing was that this was the first time entering Canada with Henry where he didn’t get us pulled off for further questioning because of his suspicious, nervous stutter. We just breezed right through after he said, “concert. Winner” to the border guy’s question of “why are you here.” Good job, Henry.
I don’t know why I was in such a hurry to get there. We didn’t have any standing plans for Saturday other than EAT AT DOOMIES, which is a vegan “fast food” establishment that Chooch and I had been drooling over at the mere thought.
We stayed a bit outside of Toronto this time, checked in around 4 and then took the train downtown. Chooch and I were really excited because while we were waiting for the train, Henry realized he left his phone charger in the car and actually ran to get it which was hilarious because he was wearing this big burly gray fleece-lined hoodie over his jacket, plus a beanie, so I started humming the Rocky theme and then Chooch was nearly peeing his pants. Oh you guys, the sight of Henry actually running, like legit hauling ass, totally gave us the jollies.
Two fucking hyenas.
Here we have Henry, deep inside his favorite zone. What you can’t see is Chooch sitting across from him, drawing a weener on a picture of Henry and me spectating this and cackling like a middle schooler. Henry tried to hurt our feelings by saying he’d rather hang out with his 1.5 year old grandson Calvin, who is, and I quote, “quieter and less needy” than Chooch and me.
WOW.
Once in Toronto, we left Union Station (after Henry bought two family day passes for their public transportation system and proceeded to look like a walking fanny pack, that’s how much of a yodel-dodely tourist he came off as. Chooch and I were caught up in Korea flashbacks for real) and walked around for a bit, passing the Fairmont Hotel, where we were fairly certain Winner was staying but Henry drew the line at going inside and loafing creepily in the lobby all evening.
So we got on a streetcar to Parkdale, a/k/a Vegandale where Doomies is located! It’s actually inside the Vegandale Brewery now so that was kind of a bummer because all the videos I had watched on Toronto vegan spots featured the old location of Doomies which seemed to have way more of a “dive” feel to it and that’s what I like. I’m not wild about breweries.
Immediately, we were put off by the host and hostess, who were like the King and Queen of the Glacier Prom. I was not impressed with their hipster ambivalence but I’m glad we gave it a chance because our waitress was wonderful – friendly, helpful, and just genuinely nice – and the FOOD WAS FUCKING STELLAR.
I wanted us all to get something different so we could taste-trade, and Chooch had already called dibs on the vegan Big Mac (not on the menu, but it exists and it is the Holy Grail of meatless burgers, let me tell you), so I opted for the Chik-Bac-Ranch sandwich because anytime a faux-chix sandwich is on the menu, I’m down for that chick-biz.
But then stupid-ass carnivore Henry got the chicken and waffles and Chooch and I were like, “WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT” because I already got chicken and we wanted him to get a different thing! He is so dumb! Ugh.
I tried some of this and it was legit fam. It’s amazing that I was able to get a taste though because Chooch devoured that sumbitch like he was on a day pass from the orphanage.
It was nuts.
Oh man, if I had the time to write a chapbook in honor of this bitchin’ chicken…
This Doomie fake-fowl has my heart. Fuck all the rest.
Bellies full of no-meat and totally content.
It was so cold that weekend in Toronto, but we still strolled around as much as we could handle it.
Chooch was mad because he took a picture of this wall-saying first and then I copied him.
We hopped on another streetcar eventually, and then took the subway to KOREATOWN. On the subway, some younger girl next to me nudged me, literally elbowed me like we were bros, and said, “I love your jacket.” I happily said thanks and Chooch was so pissed. “Even in CANADA?!” he cried later, and Henry, who had been sitting across from us, said he was watching the girl right before she went in with the elbow and said he could tell that she was considering doing it.
OF COURSE HE WAS WATCHING HER. He’s the Perv of Public Transit!
Anyway, I think I might start an Instagram for my coat so it can cyberbully him.
That’s what any good mom would do, I think.
Yeah boiiiii. I talk to this Korean guy Kyoung on Kakao (three cheers for natural alliteration) and he was like SEND ME PICTURES and was so excited to see a Canadian Korea Town so that was pretty cool. We stopped at this little place we went to last time that sells homemade walnut cakes (hodo kwaja) because they also have patbingsu and I was IN THE MOODSU.
Chooch got hotteok and was so content.
(Hotteok is a delicious sweet Korean pancake full with piping hot, gooey brown sugar and cinnamon, it’s like something that was created specifically for Jesus to have at his birthday parties, that’s how religiously delicious it is and I cannot wait to get my ass back to Korea and buy one every day from street vendors.)
It was just us and a bunch of Koreans so I was content, too, haha. I didn’t care that it was like 5 degrees outside, that patbingsu was everything I needed right then.
(Even though it wasn’t the fancy kind that I wanted at some place that Henry deemed TOO FAR TO GET TO EASILY.)
This place makes their own pat (sweet red bean) so that was a real bonus, and one of the girls working there even came over and asked us if we wanted more of it. I did NOT hesitate. Pat is my fucking jam, man.
(Actually, it would probably make good jam now that I think of it.)
Then we walked around Korea Town for an eternity and I pouted in a Kpop store because I couldn’t decide what Taemin album I wanted to buy so instead I BOUGHT NONE OF THEM and acted like a brat and then the cafe I wanted to go to was CLOSED and I suddenly had to PEE and it was getting colder and colder by the minute, so we decided to head back to Union Station around 8.
Fucking cold, man.
We walked around Union Station for a bit before getting on the platform to catch the train back. I was happy that they had clean restrooms there.
I insisted that we walk around the block one more time just in case Winner was meandering about, like they would actually be outside in that cold weather and not in some warm and cozy high class steak house or something. Le sigh. I kept seeing people on Instagram posting pictures of their run-ins with various Winner members in Seattle and Houston AND I REALLY THOUGHT IT COULD HAPPEN TO ME TOO, OK?! I did think that I saw Mino near their alleged hotel but it ended up being an Indian in a turban, which really could be something that Mino might be wearing.
HE IS VERY FASHION-FORWARD.
When Chooch realized I took that first picture, he posed for the one above. He’s a camera whore, you guys, and I have no idea who created that monster.
GOODBYE TRAIN.
We got back to the hotel around 10 and promptly crashed. Walking in the cold is tiring.
This post was so exciting. We had a lot of fun but it was mostly because Chooch and I were making fun of Henry the whole time, and that doesn’t translate well on here.
Stay tuned for more walking-in-the-cold that took place the next day!
No commentssmoky saturday
The last time we were in Tennessee was in 2011 with our friends Bill and Jessi, and we missed them so much this time around! I remember when they invited us to go with them that year, I was like, “Ew, Tennessee. What’s even in Tennessee?” and then found out that this area in particular is A FUCKING WONDERLAND. It has something for everyone! Country crap for country people. Old people shit for old people. Church garbage for Christians. Outdoor junk for nature nerds. AND A ZILLION TOURIST TRAPS FOR ME. We will get to all that stuff later.
On Saturday, aka Dollywood Eve, we made some time for some Smoky Mountain action, because you can’t go to the Pigeon Forge/Gatlinburg area without doing at least a little bit of nature shit. I made sure Chooch changed out of his stained hoodie (literally got like 48 stains on it just in the four hours it took us to get from our hotel in Beckley, WV to Tennessee — just watching him eat lunch made me realize that I failed as a mom because my kid is 12 and still needs a bib) and into socially-acceptable garb beforehand, and then we set off for the Great Smoky National Park or whatever, where Henry was immediately at wit’s end with us and praying for a bear attack.
He’s so mean. :(
I’m not the most nature-y person, but damn, it’s really fucking beautiful there you guys. Not a bad view anywhere. (Unless someone with a MAGA hat gets in your line of vision.)
Second time in the Smokies and I still don’t know how to spell it.
Senior picture practice.
He’s a good sport (mostly) about these photoshoots and always has a pose or two of his own to contribute. Um, like this one.
We actually kind of got along during our scenic stroll through the bear-laden woods. (I was so afraid of getting attacked! Are they hibernating yet? I’M NOT SURE!) I felt like we were, I don’t know, making family memories or something. Like some day, Chooch will fondly recount this day to his future kids and they’ll be like, “What’s a mountain? What’s a tree?”
OMG WHY DID I TYPE THAT NOW I’M SO DEPRESSED.
Mood.
Here’s some more that I took with my phone-y-phone-la-la-la.
My favorite part was when Chooch and I were practicing exaggerated walking moves from Leslie Sansone walking workouts and didn’t realize that there was a family having some type of celebratory picnic nearby, watching our every move. THEY WERE SO JEALOUS OF OUR CREATIVE WALKING. I think this was the point where Henry ran back to the car ahead of us and tried to lock us out.
It’s nothing short of a miracle that he didn’t:
- faceplant on a rock
- fall into the water and get swept away into the jaws of a bear
How many murders have happened in these woods.
In Korean, the word for mountain is SAN (산) which you would know IF YOU READ MY KOREA TRAVEL BLOG POSTS.
God, you guys. The things you could learn from this stupid blog! IT IS A TREASURE TROVE OF TRIVIA.
We kept making Henry pull over at overlooks and he was getting so pissed because people weren’t parking to his liking.
We came here last time too!
Man, for only being in Tennessee for two days, I have so much to tell you! So, check back or whatever.
No commentsPigeon Forging it Back to Pittsburgh
It’s 8:05am and we’re waiting for Henry to check out of the hotel (the Ramsay – actually not a shit hole!). I wanted to have been on the road much earlier but no one listens to me. Anyway, I’m live-blogging because this is an 8-hour drive and I need to stay occupied or else I’ll start picking fights with Henry – which I’ll do anyway, who am I kidding LOLOL.
The mysterious bruise on my thumb went away but now I have a mysterious cut on my finger that even cut thorough my nailpolish?? It hurts but it’s not bleeding.
8:14am: So here we is y’all at the Red Rooster Pancake House where Chooch was thrown off that there is NO LEMONADE on the menu and proceeded to act like it was his first time ordering in a restaurant and kept looking at us with frantic PHONE A FRIEND eyes and we were like psychically coaxing him to just order chocolate milk and then when it was time to order breakfast, he got eggs and toast and ordered the eggs like a pro (overeasy FTW) but then he complicated the toast part of the order by making her run down the whole bread inventory and then asking “do you have Texas toast?” and we were like OH COME ON and she was like “Oh no, honey lololol” in her thick southern drawl like he just asked to see the Alamo’s bread pantry.
This waitress hates us so bad.
Ugh some old song just came on and I could vividly remember it playing in my pappap’s kitchen when I was little and now I’m crying in the Red Rooster Pancake House.
9:04: I couldn’t stand that bitch GPS voice so I made Henry change it to Santa, who just now told us that there was a cop reported up ahead. “Thanks, Santa,” Henry mumbled.
10:24: Chooch has me playing some word game called Letter Press and he is cheating sooooooo bad it’s not even funny.
We just stopped at Sheetz and Chooch and I got so riled up that Henry threw our stuff at us when we got back in the car and then he started eating a banana that I got for myself but didn’t want because it wasn’t done enough so then that set Chooch and me off all over again and we almost peed and then Henry yelled IF YOU PEE YOURE SITTING IN IT! and then he saw some guy sitting alone in an RV and said he wished he was him.
11:10am: Stupid GPS Santa keeps calling us Comet but what if I want to be Donner?! LIKE THE DONNER PARTY.
11:24am: Mino’s solo album dropped today and the MV for “Fiancé” is fire. I watched it this morning in the hotel while Henry struggled to pack everything on his own. I don’t care what anyone says, YG has the best rappers in Korea. DON’T @ ME.
12:33pm: One of our favorite road trip games to play is calling out HENRY LOOKED! HENRYS WANTS TO GO THERE! every time we pass billboards for adultmarts and strip clubs. Henry just blocks us out now.
1:26pm: Hello from some highway in WV! We ate a quick lunch at Sheetz (ballin’) and now we’re en route to some monster museum in Sutton WV. Speaking of museums, I need to call the Bayernhof Museum to schedule a tour for this Saturday but every time I tried to dial the number I started to crack up because I’m so giddy so finally I admitted defeat and Henry said he would do it for me next time we stop YES ANOTHER VICTORY!
2:40: We just rolled up in Sutton and Henry read the welcome sign out loud. I thought he said “bitchin’ history and hospitality” but it actually said “rich in history and hospitality” which is less rad.
3:03: Wow so the Flatwoods Monster Museum was pretty amazing! I mean, if you have low expectations. They had the documentary playing and it was creppy (autocorrect is always trying to change this to creepy ugh). Basically A UFO CRASHED THERE in the 50s and a bunch of boys and some old broad SAW A MONSTER and experienced symptoms similar to those that MUSTARD GAS cause but also HYSTERIA!!! So you tell me!!!
We’re back in the car and cracking up so bad at everything and Henry is like NO ONE IS LAUGHING and I’m like CAN YOU NOT COUNT BECAUSE TWO PEOPLE ARE LAUGHING?!
Anyway, that was a fun detour! Henry probably disagrees.
He actually bought us this adorable miniature Flatwoods monster but then bitched about it being EXPENSIVE.
Then we saw this creppy Santa on the way back to the car.
Chooch is playing this dumb Scattergories-type game; the letter was P and the thing was “Things You Find in a Bedroom” so Chooch and I simultaneously screamed PLAYBOY and PENIS while Henry calmly and vanilla-ly suggested PILLOW lol Henry you’re so square.
4:34pm: Oh god, we were just talking about the Dollywood coasters and then I said, “Remember when they went to an amusement park on The Smile Has Left Your Eyes??” which is the last drama that Henry and I just watched and in fact, I refused to leave for this road trip on Friday until we watched the finale because I knew it would bother me all weekend otherwise and turns out, it was THE MOST TRAGIC KDRAMA I have seen yet and the impact it has had on me is so ridiculous, so my weekend was totally affected by it anyway because I just started crying after saying that to Henry and he was like, “…oh my god” because the whole way to Tennessee I was dissecting the entire show and then I would start wailing WHYYYYYYYY in the stylings of a Korean Kerrigan.
Honestly, this drama was spectacular and I highly recommend it if you’re looking for a thriller / emotional roller coaster.
4:57pm: One more hour to go! I just said, “It doesn’t seem like we’ve been driving that long” and in tandem, Chooch piped up from the backseat, “I know!” while Henry frowned deeply.
“I guess that’s because we’ve been playing those games,” I said, all up-beat, and this made Henry’s frown deepen into something more murderous.
5:38pm: “Nice turn signal, a-hole” — Henry, in a very calm voice to someone in a minivan.
We are 35 minutes from home and I have to pee BUT I DONT WANT TO STOP DO YOU THINK I WILL MAKE IT? Also I forgot to mention that at our last Sheetz stop, Henry had the nerve to tell me and Chooch that we are embarrassing. WE ARE?? He’s the one who dresses like an off-duty trucker shopping for guns and jerky!! I just started cracking up after I wrote that because I’m the only person I make laugh, and Henry tried to quote an IU song where she says “Stu-p-i-d” but he completely fucked it up so then I started laughing harder and now he won’t talk to me.
5:45pm: Chooch and I are playing that letterpress game again and he just cried in anguish from the backseat, “I wish there was a P because I wanted to play ‘pansexual'” and I cried OMG ME TOO and Henry just shot me a glare. Eyes on the road, partner.
6:00pm: 17 minutes from home! I’d like to thank all the new Kpop drops, Chooch inviting me to play Letter Press or whatever it’s called, and Henry’s willingness to be the laughing stock of the car. BITCH LASAGNA.
6:19pm: We’re a mile from home and Henry just said we’re the stupidest people he’s ever met and this is the last trip he’s taking with us, so there you have it! The official ending of the liveblog!
No commentsNYC in Snaps: Part 2
After our voyage across the Brooklyn Bridge, we headed back to One World Trade Center, which is where we started our day hours and hours before. (The next blog post will talk about that, says the Queen of Writing Out of Order.)
First, we stopped at St. Paul’s, because it’s humanly impossible for me to pass a cemetery without stopping. Le duh. Duh to the max. Box of duhs.
I was low key grateful that the church was open because I had to pee pretty bad. We had to go through security inside the doors because this is America but I was happy to discover that the two security guards were super personable and just a general pleasure to interact with, even though one of them was desperate to talk to us about the Pirates and we had to do the universal “no speak this language” Arm X.
The inside of the chapel was bright and beautiful. It actually had more of a court room feel to me than that of a church. Chooch and I sat down for a bit to take it all in while Henry paced around the perimeter alone, almost like he’s afraid to be too close to us inside a church?!
I didn’t realize the part St. Paul’s played during the aftermath of 9/11, but apparently the doors were open to the cops, firefighters, paramedics, and other volunteers who needed a rest. The pews have since been removed and replaced with chairs, but one pew was on display in a back room; it had grooves and gouges in the wood, mementos left by the uniforms and equipment of the people sleeping there.
After all the walking we had done that day, we really needed a good sit, and this was a really welcoming place.
More 9/11 mementos. My eyes were heavily sweating in that room, man.
There was a guest book that Chooch and I signed because if there is a guest book, we’re leaving our mark. There was a spot to write a message so I said “put hashtag blessed. No don’t. Put bless up. No don’t. Put—-just don’t put anything.”
We’re really bad at signing guest books. I signed one in a chapel at Dollywood and Henry was so clenched, not knowing what I was writing, but it was just, “Hey God, please bring Dance Gavin Dance back to Pittsburgh.”
And now here are some pictures of buildings, including the amazing rib-like structure of Oculus, which is an amazing piece of architectural art that houses the World Trade Center station. We were staying right across the river in Jersey City and this was how we commuted in that morning. It was a pretty amazing experience when we emerged into the center of Oculus, that’s for sure! Chooch and I exclaimed like Farm Kids’ First City Trip while Henry was just like WHERE IS THE BATHROOM.
Every angle of this joint is just mesmerizing…and also a bit terrifying. It’s like contemporary prehistoric art.
SORRY, I WAS OBSESSED. SO LOOK AT THESE PICTURES.
Chooch is such a great sport about posing in front of walls, but Henry acts like he’s being fisted by hipsters.
It took a minute to get this picture because we had to stand in line behind all the Instagram models.
LOL, Chooch and I realized that Henry was asked to some girls’ picture and we were almost peeing ourselves because everything Henry does is funny to us (but, you know, at Henry’s expense).
Finally, I had pussyfooted around it long enough and it was now time to see Ground Zero. You guys, there are no words. I think the one thing we can all agree on as Americans is that 9/11 was one of the worst tragedies we have experienced as a modern nation. I still can’t believe it, even though I can so plainly and distinctly remember exactly where I was and what I was feeling when it happened.
The melancholy in the air at Ground Zero is really indescribable. Chooch and I traced some of the names with our fingers and just, for once in our lives, stood there quietly. Henry was around somewhere, being unaffected and cold-hearted.
NOTHING BOTHERS HIM!!!!!???
Oh look, here he is, ready to leave.
From right inside Oculus. I was so disoriented at first and though these people were on the roof but then I realized they were just outside, on land (lol), and we were below ground-level. I’m a smarteeee.
Inside the ribcage, yo. There are also a bunch of stores inside, like some trendy mattress store that Chooch tried to get us to go into with him because he is obsessed with mattresses and pillows. We of course kept walking while Chooch flounced right inside and sat on a bed. He said the salesgirl was awkwardly starting to talk to him but then actual customers came in so she set her sights on them and Chooch got to test the firmness of the mattress in peace.
His interests are extremely varied and sometimes domestic, like when he goes on and on about the exact Samsung fridge he wants.
Good thing he placed in “advance” on his latest PSSA test results because that boy’s gonna need to earn himself a good scholarship so he can furnish his future McMansion with the best mattresses and fridges.
And just like that, our day in NYC had come to an end, but not before standing in line to buy a ticket back to Jersey City behind a bunch of people who could not seem to figure out how the fare machines worked and it brought back sweet memories of our first subway experience in Seoul, SIGHHHHHHHH.
And then we almost died when the escalator dropped us off onto an overcrowded platform with nowhere to go and we almost perished on the escalator. I had flashbacks to being 4-years-old and getting my shoelace caught in an escalator at a casino in Atlantic City and OMG WAS I GOING TO GET SUCKED INTO THE ESCALATOR? I NEEDED MY PAPPAP TO SAVE ME LIKE HE SAVED ME IN ATLANTIC CITY! Spoiled: we ended up surviving, but it honestly felt like being in a zombie movie.
Another fucking adventure, though!
No commentsNYC in Snaps: Part 1
All I can say is, thank god we are a family acclimated to walking. Anytime we visit a different city, that is all we seem to do. But for us, it works! Having an open itinerary makes me feel less rushed and more open to spontaneity, which is something that I find I struggle with at home lately.
So after we ate lunch and got ice cream, we just causally strolled around Soho and perused some boutiques. There was one shop where a French woman was selling a bunch of vintage-looking shit but she had these kind of cool purses shaped like a woman’s face with sunglasses, and Henry was like really adamant about buying me one which was weird because he usually isn’t one to want to buy me gifts so the sirens were going off, like was he cheating on me or something? But it turns out if it was just because our other plans fell through so now he was like, “Here, spend this money somewhere else.” Wow, what a gentleman. Anyway, I ended up not liking the purse once the lady took it off the rack for me to see better, because it turned out it was baseball-themed and I don’t care about baseball one way or another, so then the broad was, “Here is one in a different color” but it was still baseball-themed?! So then Henry was like, “Maybe this one then?” and now I had THREE PURSES in my hands and I did not want a single of them but I felt so pressured! I just kept murmuring over and over, “But I don’t want one” and then luckily the broad turned her attention to another customer who was questioning a scarf so I dumped the purses on the table and ran out of the door.
We went to several other shops though and I got a ring filled with candy and Chooch bought a cool t-shirt from ESNYC. This is the girl we bought it from and she was so nice and cool and I wanted to be friends with her but I’m old and uncool:
(This picture is from the ESNYC website, I didn’t take it.)
All of the shops we went into made me think of when I was in 8th grade and an avid reader of Sassy Magazine (like every alternative teenage girl in the 90s) and one of the issues had a fashion spread with crazy Mad Hatter-style hats (which I was totally into and had several that I bought at Merry Go Round; I had so many that when we had Crazy Hat Day in 8th grade, I swapped them out three times during the day, lol; I was really into outrageous hats) and FUNFUR OVERALLS. You guys, I wanted these fucking overalls so bad. They were from Antique Boutique in NYC and of course, this was back when you couldn’t go on a computer and get everything you saw in a magazine, so I begged my mom to take me to New York but SHE NEVER DID.
I just googled Antique Boutique and it’s CLOSED FOREVER.
Ouch my heart.
I guess it’s just as well because I’m not cool enough anymore to pull any of that off. If I were, I’d have bought one of the totally crazy repurposed t-shirt dresses I was drooling over in one of those shops, ugh. They were so 1980s new wave, I’m dying on the inside just thinking about them.
Here’s a picture of Chooch recording some Vine tribute that I don’t understand.
https://www.instagram.com/p/BoXM5p-HQBc/?taken-by=butt_jam
HASHTAG STUPID!
Things you stumble upon when you opt for the Walk Blindly Thru the City tour itinerary.
Drooling over architecture never gets old to me. Even in Pittsburgh, there are moments when I’m walking around and notice something cool that I somehow have always missed, a baroque* facade or an old ad painted on the side of a brick building in an alley. So I was more than content to walk around taking pictures all day long.
*(LOL like I know what I’m talking about.)
It was around here (dunno where exactly “here” was) that we realized we were very close to the Brooklyn Bridge. Our original plans for that day included waking up early to see the Brooklyn Bridge, so even though it was late afternoon at this point and prime-tourist time, we figured it was still worth experiencing, because YOLO or whatever.
Do the kids still say that?
Probably not the COOL kids.
Like the girl who sold Chooch the shirt.
On the way to the bridge, we were distracted by some lively commotion in a little plaza. Turns out there was some type of street performance going on and I wasn’t very interested because it wasn’t beautiful Korean people busking in Hongdae (#spoiled), but Henry was all, “Yo ho ho, let’s go see what’s going on, we have all the time in the world, after all, yippee-ki-ay.”
There was some troupe of, I dunno, break dancers? And one of them was going to jump over some lone Canadian broad that was pulled from the crowd but then he decided that he needed to make it more dangerous so now they were pulling out men from the crowd, and I knew, I just knew that:
- This was going to involve a money collection
- They were going to choose Henry
DING DING DING. I WAS RIGHT ON BOTH ACCOUNTS.
I knew this because Chooch got dragged into something similar a few years ago at the art festival downtown, where a group of hustlers masked as street performers were going to show us something really cool but NOT UNTIL WE DONATED. I can’t even remember what the actual trick was now, but Chooch was stoked to be part of.
So now, there are nine people up there and I’m like, “The fuck is someone going to jump over all of them?” OH, THEY HAD A PLAN, ALRIGHT.
First, they went around with bags and at first I thought they wanted everyone to put their phones in there so that we couldn’t record so I started to panic because OMG DON’T TOUCH MY PHONE IT’S AN EXTENSION OF MY BEING. But no, it was simply money-swindling time.
When they got to me, I was like, “Hey man, you took our money man” and pointed to Henry because I can’t remember the last time I had cash on me. So I guess the goal was to get TWENTY DOLLARS from everyone. TWENTY DOLLARS!!!! I could buy a fucking kpop album with that or three fancy ice cream cones or like 7 Kakao emoticon packs! SOME PEOPLE WERE ACTUALLY GIVING THEM $20!!! I know this because every time it would happen, the person that collected would scream, “STOP THE MUSIC!” and then give that person a shout out and it was so crazy to me because I am a TIGHTWAD when it comes to this stuff.
This was like the ultimate NYC tourist trap, you guys. Why are people so dumb!?
Well, they didn’t stop there. They also singled out each “volunteer” in line, and some of those assholes also gave $20!! I couldn’t believe it. Then I started to panic because no way was Henry going to do that but the difference between him and the people in the crowd is that EVERYONE WAS WATCHING.
So, first, when Henry is asked where he is from, he says “Pennsylvania.”
Not “Pittsburgh.”
But “Pennsylvania.”
So the guy in charge goes, “HAHAHA WELCOME TO CIVILIZATION” like we’re from the fucking hills and not a legit city, oh I was so embarrassed.
And then, AND THEN! He gave them SEVEN DOLLARS.
So on one hand I’m like, “Thank you for not giving them tomorrow’s lunch money” but also I’m like, “GREAT NOW THEY THINK WE’RE POOR PEOPLE LIVING NEXT TO A CREEK IN RURAL PENNSYLVANIA AND YOU DIDN’T MAKE AS MUCH OFF THIS MONTH’S MOONSHINE BATCH AS YOU THOUGHT YOU WOULD, HENRY!”
Still, it was worth it to get this video of him repeatedly having his ass slapped in front of a crowd of strangers in NYC!
One of my friends asked on Instagram why he was moved to the side and I was like, “Oh because that’s the POOR PERSON line.” Only the suckers who paid $20 (allllll foreign tourists btw) got to move to the front of the line, so this was how they weeded out the line, making it more realistic to jump over.
BRAVO, STREET HUSTLERS.
https://www.instagram.com/p/BoY7vcNnAPa/?utm_source=ig_share_sheet&igshid=1ezbqj75e428g
The guy who pops up at the end of Chooch’s video up there is the ring leader and the one who acted like he was going to do the jumping through the whole routine until the very end when some guy who didn’t participate in the act at all got up from the sidelines and completed the jump.
“You really thought that other guy was going to be the one jumping!?” Henry exclaimed, incredulous. “Did he really seem like he was in shape for that!?”
Wow, Healthy Hank. You’re one to talk!
So, $7 poorer, we continued on to the Brooklyn Bridge, which was, of course, jam-packed with tourists. I felt like we were part of a herd of cattle marching off to the slaughter house.
There were tons of people desperate to get that Instagram-worthy shot but we weren’t fucking around with that. I was like, “JUST STOP HERE *snap* OK KEEP WALKING.”
I mean, come on now. No one was going to stop walking just to get out of someone’s frame, but fauxtographers were still getting all huffy, having their amateur photoshoots bombed by passers-by.
Did you know that I’m desperately afraid of bridges? I am. And I live in a city that is literally known as the city of bridges. I force myself to walk across one every week on my lunch break and it has been helping me a little bit. (Although there is a pedestrian bridge that goes from the North Shore to the Point that always gets me good — I was on it two weeks ago and seized up when I got to the middle; my heart was crashing against my ribcage and I started to get light-headed, and then it began to rain. It was pretty fucking terrible.)
While my legs were a bit wobbly as we crossed the Brooklyn Bridge, I was still able to make it halfway without having a full-blown freak out.
It was still pretty scary though.
I think I would have been scared if we were on it alone, if that makes sense.
It really was breathtaking and worth the hassle of getting dinged at by bike bells and jostled by distracted tourists.
LOL, freshly-spanked Hank.
Some guy was on the middle of the bridge with his albino boa constrictor and asked if anyone wanted to hold it. Chooch shot his hand up into the air and did the whole “Ooh! Ooh!” eager school boy routine.
“That’ll be $10,” the snake’s owner said to me and I was like, “HAHA BOY BYE.”
Chooch was all sad but dude, no. We can go to stupid Cheeseman’s Haunted Hayride and he can hold like three different snakes at the end for free! This is NYC, boy, of course you can’t hold some bridge snake for free.
Henry’s stupid elbow.
Oh, Brooklyn Bridge, where you can’t even take a picture of a plaque without some stranger being in the shot.
Anyway, that was the first half our spontaneous afternoon in NYC. I was heartbroken that our original plans fell through, but really grateful that we were able to make the best of it and let Chooch scratch some shit off the ol’ Bucket List. I didn’t get to do a lot of domestic travel when I was a kid, so I’m glad that we’ve been able to do these things with Chooch. HE BETTER SPEAK FONDLY OF IT WHEN HE’S AN ADULT.
2 commentsChinatown Chowdown
For reasons that I will get to in a separate post, we once again found ourselves roaming around NYC last Sunday, the day after the BTS concert. Why is it that every time we find ourselves in NYC, it’s completely spontaneous and unplanned?! I don’t know, but it’s kind of fun and I can’t say that I hate it.
We were in Queens when our original plans shit the bed, so we shrugged and moved on. I mean, at least it happened in a city that has a billion things to do! And I know it’s kind of dumb, maybe not something you would choose to do above all else while in NYC, but there is this ice cream place that I’ve been following on Instagram for a while and it’s on my bucket list. (And yes, my bucket list is like 75% ice cream joints.) So that became our jumping-off point. I mean, at least we had something to start with!
This place also happens to be near Chinatown, so we decided that we would go there first and get lunch.
And then something miraculous happened: we walked around for about 20 minutes while I coveted, and I do mean biblically so, all of the exotic fruit being sold on the street. CHERIMOYA! LYCHEE! RAMBUTAN! SAPOTE! GOLDEN DRAGONFRUIT!
Oh, Chinatown, you fucking snake, you.
Of course Henry was all, “WE ARE NOT BUYING FRUIT. I AM NOT GOING TO CARRY FRUIT AROUND WITH ME ALL DAY. NO, KEEP WALKING. I’M NOT BUYING IT.”
Something amazing happened to us in Chinatown, you guys. We found a place to eat that we all agreed on, before any domestic violence broke out, and in record time. It was almost surreal. This almost never happens. We usually walk until our feet are praying to be lopped off by the Nighttime Sickle-Wielding Ghoul.
Are we finally learning how to coexist with each other in public as a family?!
No, it was probably just a fluke.
It also helps that Henry isn’t one of those manly MUST EAT MEAT bastards. He’s super compliant with Chooch’s and my vegetarian needs and is usually the one who finds good veg places for us to dine. In fact, he’s the one who spotted Buddha Bodai Kosher Vegan from across the street (probably also because my eyes are bad). It was crowded when we walked in, but I was determined to suck it up, butter(substitute)cup. So many times I panic at the sight of a crowded restaurant, but when we walked in, I realized that not only was this place vegan like the sign boasted, but it was also DIM SUM. Uh, hell yeah I want that vegan dim sum, bitches, and I will stand here in everyone’s way until a table is cleared for me.
Things were looking up right away though when we got the coveted corner table. Even though Chooch was a dick and wouldn’t let me sit where I wanted because he’s 12 you guys and 12-year-olds are perfect fucking dickheads, in case you don’t have children/have never been around children/wear a child-repelling amulet.
So right away, we started fighting about this and Henry was like ENOUGH. Wow, dad has spoken.
And then our waitress hated us because she thought I asked for meat (I most certainly did not) and she got all defensive and said, “NO! NO MEAT! WE DON’T SERVE MEAT HERE AT ALL ANYMORE!” and I felt like everyone had set down their chopsticks to get a better listen at the dumb tourist who came into the vegan dim sum joint looking for meat.
And then she hated me even more because I had Henry call her back over after I decided I didn’t want the Buddha’s Delight I ordered because I knew it was going to be too much food and I just wanted to fill up on dim sum instead and she was like APPALLED, like no one had ever changed their mind in the history of restaurants existing, ever.
Luckily, the food was amazing and Henry is still talking about it, a week later. I love that he isn’t too burly and gratuitously masculine that he can’t set aside his carnivorous tendencies for an hour to nosh on some finely prepared soy and seitan. I didn’t take pictures, but we got a wonderful assortment of steamed dumplings, some type of bun stuffed with this wonderful sweet faux-meat, spring rolls, something with taro, sweet rice balls….we were fucking stuffed and happy.
Chooch went rogue and got some kind of faux-chicken lo mein and the Chinese family next to us kept complimenting him on his chopstick skills. I was so proud!
And then Henry sent Chooch and me a selca from the restaurant bathroom, which made us lose our minds because HAHAHAHA since when does Henry take bathroom selcas?!
He’s not even smiling, this is killing me all over again!
After lunch, we walked to Milk & Cream Cereal Bar, which I follow on Instagram and drool over daily. I just really love the cereal-as-dessert concept and the novelty has not worn off on me yet, even though it’s been 10 years (10!!) since my brother Corey and I were launched into sugar shock when we ate at Cereality in Philly and by “ate at” I do mean binged our way into checking off “Gluttony” in Deadly Sin Bingo.
(For those of you too L-Z to click that link, my cereal bowl was called The Devil Made Me Do It and it was comprised of Cocoa Puff, Lucky Charms, malt balls, and chocolate syrup. And then I had to drive for 6 hours back to Pittsburgh.)
So yeah, my love affair with sugary cereal goodness runs deep, so this latest trend of Fruity Pebbles-on-everything is something that really fucking speaks to me like a Leprechaun yodeling in tongues or a Bee Gees record playing in reverse.
Milk & Cream is somewhere in between Chinatown and Little Italy…maybe? That’s what it seemed like. I do not know NYC well at all so when someone asked me on Instagram where this was, I just ignored that part of her question and answered the rest. That’s what you call The Erin Way.
So at Milk & Cream, you pick your base ice cream (vanilla or cookie dough) and any cereal from the laundry list on the wall, which is blended together and splooged out of a soft-serve machine.
I of course chose vanilla and Fruity Pebbles, with a Teddy Graham topping. Chooch went with vanilla and Apple Jacks with a strawberry drizzle. Henry shared mine because I knew I wouldn’t be able to finish it (I think my new diet has shrunk my stomach, and I’m not complaining) but then later on, Henry whined about how he wanted to get his own because he was eyeing up the Cap’n Crunch option which I didn’t notice because my eyes hone into Fruity Pebbles first, always, and now I’m pissed that Henry didn’t speak up and be his own person because I would have liked to try his Cap’n Crunch creation too! Cap’n Crunch is my second favorite cereal, ugh, you fucked up Henry!!
Just look at those specks of Fruity Pebbly goodness! And the ice cream itself was thick and rich, way more dense than I expected after watching it splooge through the soft-serve machine. Suffice to say, I couldn’t finish it and Henry obediently finished off the sloppy seconds. I don’t think I save any Teddy Grahams for him, lol.
While I would highly recommend this place to anyone who loves the ice cream and cereal crossover special, it fucking killed my stomach and gave me a sugar headache, so I spent the rest of the afternoon feeling like absolute trash. I think I should have waited longer after eating lunch!
God, I even fail at eating ice cream. This is where I am in life, you guys. Sigh.
(And of course they have their Halloween specials available now so I want to go back and feast on some dumb Boo Berry brain freeze. How quickly the stomach forgets!)
No commentsThe Road to Holiday World
Oh, it was fraught with adversity.
My obsession with Holiday World started about five or six years ago when we were planning a small road trip around a visit with our pals Bill and Jessi in Michigan. I started looking up amusement parks around that area and found two in Indiana that seemed promising: Holiday World and Indiana Beach. I remember it was a big to-do because I wanted to go to both parks and didn’t understand what the problem was, no matter how many times Henry showed me on a map that they were on opposing sides of the state from each other.
SO WHAT!?
Henry just wasn’t as committed as me I guess, and in the end he made me choose one.
In his own gruff dad-words: ONE OR THE OTHER!
I ended up choosing Indiana Beach because they had several rides and y’all know that dark rides are my absolute favorite things in amusement parks. A pox on those that don’t have any, I say!
Something made me jump back on the Holiday World train sometime in late April.
“We’ll see,” Henry said, utilizing his favorite cop-out response.
“But we never go anywhere!” I cried.
“We literally just came back from Korea?!” Henry cried while foraging in our backyard for that night’s dandelion dinner because Korea left as poor people.
(It didn’t really but that’s how Henry acted because it gave him an easy way out of having to do anything for the unforeseeable future.)
My begging and pleading went on for MONTHS culminating in him flipping out and yelling, “SOMETIMES I FORGET THAT YOU’RE ACTUALLY AS OLD AS YOU ARE!” in the middle of Target when I was pouting.
I even took this one particular Friday off work because it was getting down to the wire and I couldn’t get that asshole to confirm but if we were going to go, it was going to have to be on that weekend and finally I was like FUCK YOU and booked the hotel and then the rest of that week was really tense and silent in our house, lol, not really but Henry wasn’t pleased with me at all.
At one point, just me and Chooch were going to go but I hoped that my bluff wouldn’t come true because I definitely didn’t want to make that 7 hour drive myself. HOW WOULD I LIVE BLOG?!
After I booked the hotel though, I started to tell work people about it because I thought maybe if I vocalized my desires, they would be more apt to come true so I was all, “YEAH WE’RE GOING TO HOLIDAY WORLD THIS WEEKEND NO BIG DEAL” and blew on my finger nails a few times like I was a 1950s greaser who just called some nerd Coke Bottle Eyes at the soda shop.
Glenn was like, “That sounds dumb” but Lauren and Margie were all in. Especially when I told them that there was the promise of FROZEN HOT CHOCOLATE WITH SANTA IN MRS. CLAUS’S KITCHEN.
I walked past them one time last week and casually called over my shoulder, “Oh, and all soft drinks are FREE at Holiday World. Sunscreen too” and then I fake-yawned and continued on to my desk.
But then the day before I admitted to Lauren that I wasn’t actually sure if we were going for real because I still hadn’t gotten Henry to say the y-word (“yes,” come on guys, I shouldn’t have to spell out everything for you, get a clue) but that I had taken the following day off a month prior.
“Did you take that day off specifically for this, without knowing for sure–” and then she started cracking up when I sadly nodded.
So then Friday came. I knew Henry didn’t take the day off because god forbid he ever takes days off work, but sometimes he can get out of there semi-early depending on other people. I fucking paced around Brookline ALL DAY and then Chooch and I argued because I didn’t feel that he cared enough about this trip, and he was like, “But it’s just….Indiana—I mean, no I’m really excited! I want to go! Yay, Holiday World!” but his forced enthusiasm wasn’t foolin’ nobody. NOBODY.
Finally, that d-bag Henry came waltzing in the house around 3:00 and I was like LET’S GO but then he had to take a stupid shower first and pack and I was tapping holes into the floor with my foot.
It was around 3:30 when we finally left the house and I was like, “OK we’re doing this, we’re finally leaving” and Henry was surprisingly in a good mood so that made me feel ominous, you know? Like was something going to happen? (This isn’t foreshadowing, nothing happened, but I am a very superstitious and paranoid person so I was ON EDGE all weekend.)
The funny part is that part of my deal was that if we went to Holiday World, I would drive part way. Originally, I said I would drive for the first part because I can’t drive well at night (see: eyes that can’t see) and Henry was like, “Deal” but then I was like, “Well, I’ll just drive to Columbus and then you can drive after that because I get confused around Columbus” and he sighed heavily but still agreed.
(When I was friends with my ex-bff who lived in shitty Cinci, I would always make her take the Greyhound to Columbus and then I would pick her up there and make her drive the rest of the way to Cinci because following directions on a highway is not my strongsuit. On my very first time ever visiting her, I got the exit number screwed up and got lost like 2 hours into the trip, lost my temper, and came home. Turns out my head scrambled the exit number and instead of taking, say for example, Exit 81 I took Exit 18 and it didn’t occur to me at all that it was awfully soon into the drive to be “almost there” and then I stopped at a gas station and got in a fight with some trashy bitch in Marietta, OH and I have the rest blacked out but I think I wrote about it on LiveJournal so maybe I’ll go and look that up on a rainy day which could be any day since all it’s done here in Pittsburgh this summer is rain and will you just get back to the story, Erin?!)
I was prepared to get in the drivers seat when we were leaving but Henry said he would drive for a little bit because he’s a big tough man and everyone knows women should just shut up and get in the passenger seat. He was going to switch off with me once we got to West Virginia but HILARIOUSLY it started storming so hard that it was hazardous and everyone was crawling along the highway with their flashers on and by the time it stopped, we were nearly to Columbus, and Henry was like, “WOW YOU SURE GOT OUT OF THAT ONE” and I just smiled cutely because we all knew I wasn’t going to do any driving, come on now, I have shit to do.
It was around 7 at this point (yes, that rain took a major chunk out of our travel time) so we stopped in some podunk town for dinner. We were going to eat some joint called Clay’s which was an ice cream parlour and family restaurant, but there was a bit of a wait. I put in my name and we sat on a wooden bench with some of the locals who knew we were outlanders, but then Henry realized there was a Loving Hut nearby so we left and he was mad at me for not telling the lady to take our name off the list like he suddenly is the authority on restaurant couth.
Got to Loving Hut and originally sat down near a fucking screaming toddler whose ear-piercing screeches were ricocheting in my head, and I almost left because I was on the verge of flipping a table (its mom just sat there and scrolled through her phone, like hello maybe your idiot kid is screaming because it wants you to look at it) but then Henry asked a waitress if she could clean off an empty but dirty table on the other side of a wall so ALL WAS WELL.
I usually try to just eat at local establishments when we travel but the call of Loving was just too strong. We used to have a Loving Hut in Pittsburgh but it closed and I’m not sure if it’s reopening somewhere else or just gonezo forever, but it’s a vegetarian joint that even Hank the Meat-Tank can stand so we were all happy. (Even Korea has Loving Huts!)
I want to go back in time and tear that sandwich apart with my gnashing maw all over again it was so good. (Vegan BBQ with coleslaw, ugh more please). I don’t know what Henry got but he nearly licked the plate clean while Chooch complained because he didn’t like the sauce on his burger bun – that kid is so averse to condiments, it makes me sad.
We were sooooo off-schedule by then. Our original ETA was 10:30pm but we had only made it to Cinci by 10, and Santa Claus was still 3 hours from there. But the bright side of running late was that we got to see fireworks over top of an otherwise bland city.
Chooch fell asleep sometime after this and I was burdened with the task of making sure Henry didn’t fall alseep at the wheel even though I was tired too but SOLIDARITY. The drive from Cinci to Louisville wasn’t too bad (we drove past the Vent Museum!) but holy shit it was all black nothingness once we hit Indiana. And then we somehow got rerouted so the GPS added 45 minutes to the drive time and I started crying out of anger while Henry was threatening the GPS robot lady, but then somehow it recalculated and shaved off a bunch of time so we celebrated.
We rolled up to the super basic (but clean and not crawling with sex workers like the last place Henry booked in Newark) Motel 6 or 8 or whatever number they use sometime after midnight which was actually after 1am for us but time rolled back an hour when we crossed over into the central time zone somewhere in Indiana. There was some family in a banged-up minivan who got there at the same time as us and the dad was like, “HAHA you guys look as thrilled as us” because we were just dragging at that point. He had on shorts and a wife-beater and as the elevator door closed on us, Chooch said, “He looked like a discount Vin Diesel” and I couldn’t stop laughing at that because he kind of did look like that.
We crashed and then woke up bright and early to get ready for HOLIDAY WORLD! First we went to Subway for a light breakfast (I get sick if I go to amusement parks with too much food in my gut) and we were in line with a young alternatrash couple that were super skinny probably from drugs and the dude had TERRIBLE face tattoos, which was basically my prelude to a day full of more face tattoos, so many face tattoos, Indiana must run specials on them. And they weren’t on people who looked cool and edgy, like guys in bands or tattoo artists, guys who can pull that shit off because it’s part of their lifestyle as a musician or artist, you know? No, these were the kinds that screamed, “I just finished beating my girlfriend and gave myself this shoddy prison face tattoo.” Every single guy I saw in that park who had one just looked so fucking trashy and heroin-y and I can guess that they all had at least one Kid Rock CD in their car at that moment.
But that didn’t affect our glorious time at Holiday World!
We got there right when it opened at 10am and expected it to be relatively crowded because it was a Saturday and we try to avoid going to amusement parks on weekends. I was fully prepared to have to do a lot of waiting in lines but it was gloriously sparse!
The Raven was the first ride we rode! It was a wicked coaster and unexpectedly fun – Chooch and I sat in the back and got our asses (and necks) kicked on it.
I took some family’s picture here and then the mom was all, “here I’ll take yours too” and I reluctantly agreed but I hate having my picture taken so bad so that’s why it looks like I have 87 fire-sticks up my ass.
Henry was going to wear a gray shirt that I hate because every time he wears it, he’s in a bad mood, so then he changed into a different gray shirt. The man loves grays and browns, I don’t think he’ll change up his wardrobe at this point.
I’m going to stop here and get into the real meaty portions of Holiday World in my next post because SPOILER ALERT we had such a great time there and I can’t stop thinking about those majestic wooden coasters.
No commentsSanta Clausin’
Before I get into the real reason we were in Santa Claus, Indiana, I want to talk about the delightful time we spent at the Santa Claus Museum before departing for Pittsburgh yesterday morning.
Yes, the museum was open on Sundays, much to Henry’s dismay!
I thought it was pretty strange that a random town in Indiana was named after Santa, but luckily, I learned immediately at the museum that it was originally called Santa Fee, but when it was time to, I don’t know, do something postal-related, I can’t remember now (I’m the worst at museum-ing!), they realized that there was a town called Santa Fe also in Indiana (WHICH SANTA FE CAME FIRST!? Who has time to google, not me — I want to get through this blog post and finish watching the Taemin Off-Sick concert!! HE WEARS A SWEATER VEST WITH NOTHING UNDER IT DURING ONE SONG, AND HIS PANTS HAVE SUSPENDERS AND HE HAS SOME WEIRD SWEATER COOZY ON HIS ONE FOREARM – ONLY LEE TAEMIN CAN MAKE THIS DORK-STYLE SIZZLE).
Anyway, back to the Sante Fee vs. Santa Fe debacle. There was a town hall meeting to come up with a new name and during that meeting, a strong gust of wind blew the door open and some child-broad yelled, “SANTA CLAUS?!” So that’s how that happened.
A likely story.
But first, we had to snoop around this creepy Santa statue which is allegedly the oldest in the world but then I also read that it’s the only tribute statue to Santa, so…It was still very cool! When we were walking over to it, we saw an older couple that was standing in line in front of us for our first ride on the Voyage at Holiday World the day before!
SPOILER ALERT: We were in Santa Claus for an amusement park.
Such secrets.
(It wasn’t a secret. But we almost didn’t go so I was trying to refrain from being all FOUR MORE DAYS UNTIL HOLIDAY WORLD except at work. Those poor people had to hear about it a lot. The new admin lady is learning so much about me whether she wants to or not.)
‘Sup Santa.
So the museum was actually a museum for the TOWN and not Santa in general, which was fine. I appreciate learning the history of a quaint little town every now and then.
I love that they keep old letters to Santa on display.
LIKE THIS ONE.
One of my favorites was from some polite bitch who was like I don’t want anything for Xmas but peace and whatnot and then she conveniently left a PS:
But then the one below it, OUCH MY STUPID HEART.
Chooch was diligently working to piece together this puzzle which ended up missing a bunch of edge pieces and he was in a fit of extreme outrage over this but before the rage happened, some super annoying midwest family came in and the young daughter screamed, “MAMA IS THAT REALLY SANTA” while peering at pictures of some old town Santa in a cabinet. Chooch spun around so fast with the most disgusted look on his face and I was like OH GOD IS HE GOING TO END THIS BITCH’S CHILDHOOD RIGHT NOW but then he turned back around and focused all of his energy on that stupid puzzle that I would have had pieced together in like two minutes, but let’s not make this a competition.
Then the mom was hovering while I was reading the letters to Santa so I stepped aside and she swooped in and started taking pictures of every single one.
The other appealing thing about this town is that some dude back in the day was like, “I have a lot of money so I’m going to retired and build Santa Claus Land” and that’s what he did but then it was only mildly successful and something happened, I can’t remember, and now it’s Holiday World.
OH! There was a wall in the hallway that had a bunch of framed celebrities’ headshots with signed dollar bills in each one and it turns out that some townie back in the 80s decided to write to famous people and ask for their autographed pictures and they included a dollar to also be signed and these celebrities like Johnny Carson and Danny DeVito actually complied?! I thought only soap opera actors did that shit.
Chooch was like, “I DON’T KNOW WHO ANY OF THESE PEOPLE ARE” so I pointed to Charlton Heston and started mouthing off about the NRA and Henry gave me the NOT HERE, NOT NOW moustache bristle so then I mumbled, “He was Moses.”
GUYS, IF I WRITE TO G-DRAGON IN THE MILITARY AND INCLUDE A 1000 WON BILL, HE WILL SIGN IT AND SEND ME A GLORIOUS PHOTO OF HIS PERFECT FACE.
THEN WE WENT TO THE FAKE POST OFFICE.
AND CHOOCH WROTE A LETTER TO SANTA.
(Even though the lady in the museum didn’t ask him if he had written his letter yet, but she practically pounced on the kids in the annoying family about it because they were younger OK #AGEISM.)
This fucker really asked Santa for V-Bucks. I RUE THE DAY FORTNIGHT CAME INTO OUR LIVES. I literally start to shake when he starts begging and whining for V-Bucks. He wanted this “special” they were having the other day and then told me it was TWENTY-FIVE REAL DOLLARS to get a bunch of FAKE DOLLARS to buy FAKE GOODS for his VIDEO GAME CHARACTER?! Um, no. This is the dumbest thing ever, Santa don’t you dare get him V-Bucks.
Get me a gift certificate for Choice Music.
Then the annoying family came in and took over so I was like OK LET’S WRAP THIS UP because I just couldn’t handle the mom with her neon pink Loony Toons shirt and fanny pack.
I don’t know if it was actually Loony Toons but it was neon pink and something a mom would wear in the early nineties and I needed to get away from her.
(Ironically, I was wearing a Hypercolor shirt BUT IT WAS FOR THE BAND HANDS LIKE HOUSES so don’t lump me in. Don’t you fucking dare do it.)
This old-ass creepy church was also on the property so we poked around.
Oh god, it smelled SO OLD in there, and I felt like I was for sure inhaling asbestos and ancient sins. I can’t believe they let people go in there. The floorboards were whack in some spots and I felt like rafters could have started falling in on us at any moment and not just because we heathens yo.
The museum was free but there was a suggested donation of $5 for families so I made Henry cough it up and then I only signed Chooch’s and my name in the guest book, hahahahaha.
Afterward, we went down the street to Santa’s Candy Castle which I mentioned in my liveblog (DID YOU READ IT?! I can’t remember what I wrote but it was probably not important). This was originally part of Santa Claus Land – oh hey, the candy castle’s website has a history page! Here, just read this.
I just love shit like this. I didn’t even want any candy, I just wanted to see the building. But then I saw that they sold salt water taffy so I bought a bag for work just to be a dick because everyone goes to the beach and brings back legit salt water taffy. WELL HERE’S A SACK OF TAFFY FROM SANTA CLAUS, INDIANA!
Glenn was not impressed.
Overall, Santa Claus, Indiana is a quirky little town and even though I couldn’t imagine living there, it was a fun little road trip and I hope that one day Chooch will be like, “KIDS WE’RE GOING TO SANTA CLAUS” and his partner will be like, “WTF WHY.”
No commentsLeaving Holiday World: Updates in Real Time
Guys, our trip to Holiday World was everything I wanted it to be and more but we will get to that another day.
Right now, we just checked out of our OK hotel (I booked it and it was way better than the sex shack Henry holed us up in in Newark) but it was hard to leave because we had inadvertently become invested in a movie on the Hallmark Channel (Bridal Wave, lol). I mean, I can guess how it ends but STILL.
So now it’s 8:43am and we’re on our way to the Santa Claus Museum, because we are in Santa Claus, IN after all.
We just drove past a house surrounded by corn fields that had a ROOMS FOR RENT sign and now I wish we had stayed there. Also, I just told Henry I’m Live-blogging and he flipped me off.
8:52am:
Obligatory.
9:42am: We just left the Santa Claus Museum and Santa’s Candy Castle and both were worth the pit stop in case you were considering driving past with no regrets.
Oldest Santa statue in the world!
I think I will post about the museum separately because I have a lot of pictures and there was a family there that I hated.
But Santa’s Candy was legit. It smelled wonderful and the employees were so nice! The guy who rang us up reminded me of Hank from Breaking Bad. He just kind of looked like him, OK?!
We bought a small bag of Krispie Kreme Jelly Bellys there and I only ate like 10 of them and feel so fucking sick.
11:26am: TIME JUMPED AHEAD I GUESS. Stupid time zones. We just stopped at a Pilot and it destroyed my good mood because I hate gross gas stations and this one was awful and the “coffee station” was dilapidated and there were flies all over it SO THAT WAS A SOLID NOPE.
REMINDER THAT I HAVE NOT HAD ANY COFFEE TODAY.
11:40am:
Me: I could NOT live in Indiana.
Henry: That’s obvious. Places are limited where you could live.
But seriously WHERE ARE ALL THE CAFES. I have to get coffee at MCDONALD’S.
Chooch just screamed, “Peach ice cream!” because we just passed some barn-shaped grocery store with a huge peach ice cream sign so now I’m mocking him and screaming PEACH ICE CREAM is my new brand. Also, if you think Henry didn’t just completely overcomplicate an order of one small coffee with cream and sweetener, then do you even know Henry? That was the most awkward McDonald’s drive-thru ordering I’ve witnessed in a long time.
Also I only ordered a small because if I find a better place I AM STOPPING.
Or – telling Henry to stop.
12:08pm: Driving through Louisville and I just can’t stop feeling disgusted that they have some sports arena called the KFC Yum! Center.
12:20pm: Henry just made some off-hand comment about how the time hasn’t changed yet and I started screaming about how that there time done BEEN changed for A WHILE now and he would know that if HE READ MY LIVE BLOG.
12:50pm: Oh I forgot – when we stopped at Pilot, there was a RED CARPET INN across the street so Chooch and I were dry-heaving. And then inside Pilot, an announcement came on that SHOWER #4 WAS READY and Chooch was all “ew people take showers here?!” And we had to explain to him that Truck Driver Life but then I added, “If I was staying at that Red Carpet Inn, I’d rather take showers here” and Chooch almost puked from laughing so hard and then the cashier asked Henry if he needed a bag and he said NO because he thought we were still standing there and would help him carry the stuff but of course we had already walked outside and he came out to the parking lot with an armful of items and started bitching at us for bailing like this was so unexpected.
2:31pm: WHY DO RESTAURANTS CLOSE AFTER LUNCH. Every fucking place I’ve found on Yelp for this shitty area outside of Cincinnati closes at 2 or 3 so now I guess we are going to Hyde’s which is fine but I have eaten here before and I wanted to try something different! Ugh! I AM HUNGRY THO SO SOMEONE JUST STUFF A GRILLED CHEESE IN MY FAT FACE ALREADY.
Also I have chocolate stains all over my shirt and shorts from the dumb protein bar I ate for breakfast. Ugh.
2:48pm: We’re at Hyde’s and I came so close to sitting at a booth with OLIVER NORTH.
GAG!! (In case you don’t know, I HATE OLIVER NORTH.)
Also, Chooch beat me and submitted the Hyde’s help wanted sign to Job Spotter and got 97 points for it! THAT’S NINETY SEVEN CENTS!!
Well, Henry and I just had a mild disagreement over the Cole slaw here (I think it’s too sweet, he thinks it’s just right) and for some reason, Chooch thought this was SO HILARIOUS that he spewed a mouthful of iced tea all over the booth and Henry was like GOODBYE and left us lol.
Update: Henry’s back. He was just hiding in the bathroom. The only guy that was sitting near us got up and left.
I just had to send Chooch outside to take deep breaths and now he’s making friends with a gaggle or elder-broads.
Now he’s back and blaming Henry for making him crack up and he really just said, “I’m just trying to live a normal life.”
3:00pm: Waitress just asked me “Do you want more coffee ma’am” and I’m like yeah but I also need you to stop calling me ma’am.
I just wistfully said, “Ugh now I want to watch Short Circuit” and Henry asked why. “Um, because of this SONG?!”
(Bee Gee’s More Than a Woman is playing right now.)
Why does he never KNOW.
3:25pm: Some broad just said she wanted two slices of coconut pie to go so the waitress repeated “Ok 2 coconuts to go” so Henry scoffed and said, “I have two coconuts to go” and gestured at Chooch and me. WOW FUNNY GUY.
3:43pm: I got mad at Chooch and told him he can go get reborn elsewhere and I don’t even know that that means but it felt like the ULTIMATE SLAM at the time.
3:54pm: Here in Henry’s Mecca, aka Jungle Jim’s:
4:57pm: Just left Jungle Jim’s and Henry has that fresh-from-the-market glow. I like it there to a point but then I remember that I’m surrounded by assholes and getting rammed into with shopping carts and I’m over it. Especially when some kids were like “Mom look, exotic KitKats! Are they real?!” And Mom came over with her resting bitch fest and said, “Ew I don’t know.
Those are WEIRD” and of course she was super skinny and had that quintessential short soccer mom hair
YOU’RE weird, Mom!
They had cherimoya which I begged for because if you didn’t know that is my FAVORITE fruit but Henry was like, “NOT FOR $10 A PIECE!” Ugh. I did get a sapote though which I haven’t had since my friend Kevin sent me one five or six years ago and I have dreamt of them ever since!
5:53pm: Just stopped at another Pilot. I went into the bathroom and the only available stall had a bunch of poop in it so I said NOPE I’LL WAIT FOR ANOTHER and then a girl came in and was like “There a mess in there?” And I said “Yes it’s pretty gross” so we stood there silently for about 30 seconds listening to someone pee in the taken stall, and then the girl said, “Like is it just not flushed?” And I said “I mean I didn’t really inspect it. I just saw a ton of poop and left” so she went in, lifted up her leg AND FLUSHED IT WITH HER FOOT. She had on flip flops! It could have flipped and flopped into the muddy commode!
Anyway, it flushed and she was like THERE U GO and I muttered thanks and then reluctantly went in even though I didn’t want to use that stall and furthermore I didn’t even really have to pee that bad!!
Oh, the crisis.
Back out in the store, Henry and Chooch filled me on their own bathroom story about the guy who may or not have been living in one of the stalls and another stall was playing rap music. When I told Henry my story and got to the part about the girl using her flip flopped foot to flush, he said, “I saw a guy come out of the bathroom in bare feet yesterday” and I scanned my brain to play back all the places we were at yesterday and I screamed, “EW AT HOLIDAY WORLD?!”
That park had some very questionable clientele.
Chooch got the Giordano’s Deep Dish limited edition Lays and it doesn’t taste like it at all and now the car smells kind of like puke because of it.
7:00pm: Current Sitch – Henry is not speaking to me because I snapped at him for not immediately knowing what I was talking about when I mentioned the Log Jammer’s spillway.
7:36pm: HENRY JUST TOLD ME TO CALM DOWN BECAUSE I AM FURIOUS WITH THE SHEETZ APP RIGHT NOW. OH I’M SORRY, AM I BEING TOO MUCH “EMOTIONAL WOMAN” FOR YOU RIGHT NOW?
8:24pm: I finally ate my coveted, signature Sheetz veggie wrap so I feel better now however Henry started “thinking out loud” about whether Ruby Tuesday’s still has their lettuce wedge salad and I snapped out and yelled SHUT UP NO ONE CARES.
Also, we managed to lose not one but TWO of the three reusable straws we brought with us so I feel pretty defeated because we didn’t just throw them out by accident but we literally LITTERED. There was a hole in the stupid Journeys drawstring bag we had with us at Holiday World ugh.
Also x2 one of my relatives was mocking those of us concerned with the environment and sardonically promised not to use straws and I am just so fucking sick of conservative cabbagefucks acting like it’s so cool to be environmentally deviant. You’re right, let’s all just dump buckets of oil into the nearest body of water for funsies and show the world who owns it. Rah rah rah.
Also x3 before I fed my face, I snapped out on Chooch because I am SO SICK OF HIM ASKING FOR V-BUCKS FOR THAT STUPID FORTNITE GAME and I yelled about how I’m not spending $25 for some in-game purchase that won’t even yield something tangible that he can hold in his hand but is only just some virtual accessory for his stupid character and school starts on Friday and we haven’t even bought him new shoes yet so NO I’M NOT FUNNELING MY HARD-EARNED MONEY INTO THE MAW OF A FUCKING VIDEO GAME. And wow did I ever feel like a REAL MOM after that rant.
8:56pm: Two of my friends announced that they’re going to be moms and it was so nice to see GOOD NEWS today – I’m so happy for them!
9:24pm: WELCOME TO PENNSYLVANIA. Oh thank god.
9:47pm: Chooch was just on the phone with his neighbor-pal who is extremely geographically challenged. “I wasn’t in CHICAGO, Jayden! No that’s in ILLINOIS. I was in INDIANA!” On the way there Friday night, he was like, “No Jayden I’m not there yet. No, I’m not coming home tonight! BECAUSE IT TAKES 7 HOURS TO GET THERE, WHY WOULD I COME HOME THE SAME NIGHT?
!” He gets so aggravated talking to him haha.
10:58pm: Hi friends I have been home since 10:15 and I am ready to crash and dream about the incredible coasters we rode at Holiday World – Chooch and I are obsessed! I would include Henry in that statement but he’s a bitch and only rode ONE OF THEM, ONCE. He’s so disappointing.
No commentsQ: What to do in Newark on a Sunday?
A: Leave Newark, lol.
Honestly though, we decided to skip out on day two of the convention portion of KCON based on how clustery it was the day prior. It was like 90 degrees that day too and I could only think of several things less appealing than being in a crowded parking lot with thousands of people. (Also, we learned after the fact that this year’s KCON had nearly doubled in attendance from last year’s; thanks BTS…?)
Henry found some place for breakfast called Maple Leaf Diner, and it definitely wasn’t in Newark. It was in a town called Maplewood so you can already picture how adorable it was. Chooch gave him directions there since he was hoarding Henry’s phone for Pokemon reasons, and that was hilarious because Henry HATES not being in charge of directions. We had to drive through some really nice and upscale areas to get to this place, and it was a nice change from the bail shop-lined streets and boarded-up windows near our “hotel.”
I had a breakfast wrap and a fruit cup that was…actually good. I was anticipating a cracked-cup with like, 4 grapes and two slivers of hard and flavorless cantaloupe, but no! It was a grand variety of pineapples and melons and berries. Chooch got chocolate chip pancakes and couldn’t finish so Henry and I grudgingly helped him.
(The pancakes were good too and I am such a Persnickety Pancaker.)
I don’t know what Henry got.
Meat.
The street that Maple Leaf was on definitely looked like some place I’d frequent if I lived in the area: lots of cute little boutiques and casual restaurants, almost had a seaside-vibe to it.
We had briefly considered going back to NYC for the day but all I kept thinking about was something going awry and us not making it back in time for the concert that night. I was too nervous and superstitious to chance it, and we figured we could always just visit again when we’re back in Newark for the BTS concert in September. That being decided, I whipped open my trusty Roadside America app and, after Henry vetoed 85 of my suggestions, we settled on the Morris Museum in Morristown, NJ because they have a large Guinness-owned music box exhibit.
And you peeps know how much me loves me music boxes! (Sorry, I just got done doing Lucky Charms commercial porn voice-overs for me my side gig.)
But first, we had some time kill before the museum opened so we drove out to Staten State Park so I could see the Statue of Liberty but from a SAFE DISTANCE because I’m terrified of her.
Don’t ask, OK? This isn’t a motherfucking AMA.
(LOL j/k. Please ask me anything you want, anytime! I am starving for interaction.)
Who knew some park in NJ would have such a great view? Anyone with a basic knowledge of maps and geography. Duh.
The first picture I took, Chooch was flipping off Lady Liberty and I was like, “Chooch! It’s not her fault, it’s Trump’s!” and he was like, “Oh yeah” and then admitted that I was starting to make him feel scared of the Statue of Liberty too. THE BEST MOM.
For as sweltering as it was that day, it really was nice to take a leisurely stroll next to whatever that water is. Chooch and I ganged up on Henry as usual and I almost peed my pants, so that was cool.
Seriously, though! HARROWING. Even as a kid, I never had any desire to visit her. Can you still go inside her?! Henry said he didn’t think so, but I unsubscribed from the Statue of Liberty newsletter back in the 90s so I’m way out of the loop.
I can’t remember if I already posted these but it’s me and my fam and we don’t take many group pics so deal with it.
\
Chooch is That Guy who wears last year’s festival shirt to this year’s festival. I was going to make some kind of uppity Coachella comparison but then I remembered that no one wears COTTON T-SHIRTS to Coachella. They’re all made of FOIL and BANANALEAVES.
Right?
(To be fair, when I went to Coachella in 2004, those stupid ruffle skirts that Paris Hilton always wore back then that were super popular so almost every girl was wearing one of those and like, a bikini top and Uggs. I can’t even remember what I wore because: rage blackout. But it definitely wasn’t that.)
After getting our fill of The Great Outdoors, we headed some other direction* to Morristown.
*(LOOK THIS ISN’T THE MAPQUEST BLOG OK.)
I received a Pro Tip from the Roadside America app: everyday at 2PM, there is a LIVE DEMO in the music box and animaton gallery, so we planned our arrival around this.
Admission was very reasonable. $10 for us adults and $7 for Chooch. After I gave her my clearly-not-NJ zip code, the girl at the desk asked me where I heard of the museum.
“Roadside America,” I said over top of the melancholy melody of Henry’s sigh.
“Oh!” she said, “that’s cool.” She seemed moderately intrigued by this but also kind of sad that I didn’t say, like, Mr. Roger’s or something.
Anyway, please enjoy some glimpses inside the Morris, which out to be an extremely worthwhile visit!
Chooch and I are obsessed with Burger art now. And not just for the nudity!
LOL @ Henry pretending like he cares about art. I wonder if he ever did any fingerpaintings for his mom when he was in THE SERVICE?! I just called him in the room to ask him and he walked away without answering so the clear answer here is NO HE MADE MACARONI ART.
When the museum has it all.
We headed over to the Guinness exhibition about 30 minutes before the live presentation was slated to start and I was immediately enraptured. My grandparents’ house was full of music boxes of all sorts — none of the super elaborate ones, but they had a nice collection of inlaid music boxes from Sorrento and Zurich; it was one of the many things they liked to collect. Not to mention the more traditional one in the Clown Room that played Send in the Clowns, natch.
This particular collection was donated by the estate of Murtogh Guinness—yes, of THAT Guinness family. He developed a love for music boxes of all types at an early age, after his mom gave him one as a gift. (OMG what types of things is Chooch going to start hoarding?!) He also collected automaton, moving mechanical devices made in imitation of a human being. Right up my alley!
Oh, to have this in my house!
There were several parts of the exhibit that were interactive and hands-on, so Chooch and Henry were busy.
This one was my favorite!!
Anyway, the curator started the presentation precisely at 2 and it was wonderful. He was extremely knowledgeable and even if I didn’t have any prior interest to things of this nature, I think I still would have been captivated. I mean, even Henry seemed like was paying attention and not looking at his Pinterest app.
Chooch kind of zoned out but he’s 12 and he sucks, so.
I wanted to talk to to the curator afterward to see if he’s ever been to the Bayernhof, but one of the guys in the small group that had gathered for the show (THERE’S ALWAYS ONE) was glued to his side afterward, yakking his ear off about calliopes so I eventually gave up. Thanks, Guy.
Chooch was happy because he got to use a hole puncher and make a song.
Before we left, we went into the basement, where you can view part of an additional 700+ items left by Mr. Guinness. That’s a double-stuffed nightmare for some people, but I was like licking the glass.
No I wasn’t, that’s unsanitary.
Highly recommend this place if you’re ever in the area! Just try to plan to be there at 2 for the free show!
Afterward, we were going to get ice cream but the place Chooch chose (because there was a Pokemon there or something) was in a super sketchy area (because it was close to our “hotel” lol), really dark inside, and definitely a front so we pocketed the ice cream idea for later.
AND THAT WAS THE FIRST HALF OF OUR SUNDAY IN NOT-NEWARK.
3 commentsNYC in Photos
If you read that trainwreck of a liveblog from last week, you know that we had some free time last Friday and actually got our shit together in enough time to take the train from Newark to Penn Station. We’re getting a little better at these things. I mean, we’re still bumbling tourists, but we got on a train heading in the right direction, so that was cool, and we all ended up sitting separately which served as a perfectly-timed reprieve after spending all day in the car together. BYYYYEEEE BITCHES.
For an entire 30 minutes, anyway. Sigh.
Chooch of course made friends with the people he sat with. I did NOT make friends with the guy next to me. I’m not sure where Henry was sitting and never bothered asking him how his ride was because, Henry.
Aside from going to Central Park so Chooch could catch idiotic Pokemon and then running into Super Junior (!!!!), we mostly just walked around and looked at things, flipped off Trump Tower, sang the NO YOU AREN’T GETTING ANY DESIGNER CLOTHING song to Chooch while walking down Fifth Avenue, and had a highly anticipated food-related hunger blow-out. So basically, it was the Oh Honestlys in [insert literally any city, ever].
Because we’re in the middle of a heat wave and I have spent way too much outside, my brain is goo so I’m just going to post a shit ton of photos I took with my phone and call it a day*, because I already reported all the exciting things. The rest was just us literally walking and walking and walking like we do in cities. Let’s just say that even after spending 7 hours in the car that day, I still managed to get 23,000 steps.
*(I just finished writing this whole thing and came back up here to say, “lol, nice try Erin, this piece of shit post is still over 1,100 words.”)
Here’s Chooch, as close as he’s gonna get to Hamilton. (He’s obsessed with Hamilton, I mean, who isn’t, I guess). This was right before we saw Super Junior! The same sidewalk!!!
Chooch in Times Square. I thought he would be overwhelmed, but he was like, “Well, we were in Seoul, so….” #SeoulFTW #SorryNYC
I just kept taking pictures. That’s what you’re supposed to do there, right?
I always hear that Times Square often plays kpop stuff on the screens there but I didn’t notice anything on this particular day.
Those Minnie Mouses back there next to the texting Statue of Liberty were actually old ladies. Henry was obsessed with them.
Every time Chooch saw an adult shop, lingerie store, or anything relating to women, he would scream, “OH, HE LOOKED!” and Henry was just like, “FUNNY HOW YOU’RE THE ONE WHO ALWAYS SEES THESE THINGS FIRST, THOUGH” and it is pretty funny, actually. What a fun game! Anyway, Chooch nearly fell into a garbage can in his urgent attempt to catch Henry looking at the giant Aerie ads up there.
We had fun telling Chooch he couldn’t go in the Lego store, lol. That place is like the equivalent of a hardware store to me.
Obligatory pictures.
OMG we were dying over Henry squatting to tie his shoe because it brought back memories of him squatting down in front of my pink backpack in Busan Station, so we were in tears and Henry was like, “IT’S NOT FUNNY*” as he pushed past us. Chooch and I have so much fun together at Henry’s expense.
*(Honestly, it’s definitely not that funny to anyone else but Chooch and me, like the time Janna hit her head getting off the train at Kennywood and I had to run to the bathroom while I was trying to tell Barb about it the next day at work because I thought I was going to pee my pants. I guess I was just born with extra funny bones. #birthdefect)
This was taken while some guy was yelling, “THERE’S A FUCKIN’ FENCE THERE!!” when his wife suggested walking a certain way and just in case you think I’m being all subtle here because it was actually me and Henry, let me remind you that I AM NOT HIS WIFE NOR WILL I EVER BE because I’m holding out for a hero Korean.
Another great “Overheard in NYC” convo was when we were waiting to cross the street and some broad was scream-talking into her cell phone about some guy who’s engaged to a girl “AND EVERYONE KNOWS HE’S GAY” and I wanted to hear more about this but the light changed.
KOREATOWN!! Of course we had to go to Koreatown. Unfortunately, it was reaching prime time on a Friday night and every restaurant had a long wait.
<3 G-Dragon <3
You would never see anything like this in stupid backward Pittsburgh.
Anyway, around this time, Chooch and I were reaching the Hunger Apex and it was Big Trouble In Little Korea for real, trying to find a place on a Friday night that was family friendly, and then Henry was like, “HERE LET’S EAT AT THIS PIZZA PLACE THAT’S SMALLER THAN OUR KITCHEN AND POTENTIALLY HAS ROACHES” and I was like, “You can go fuck yourself, Hank” and then it was all, “THEN LET’S JUST GO BACK TO NEWARK, THIS IS FUCKED!!!” and Chooch was like, “YOU KNOW WHAT, I’M SO HUNGRY THAT I ATE MY HUNGER AND NOW I’M NOT HUNGRY ANYMORE, THANKS FOR BEING SHITTY PARENTS” but then right before Henry had a chance to make good on his bluff of going back into Penn Station, I looked on Yelp and found some pizza place around the corner called NY Pizza Suprema and was like, “IT’S HERE OR A VENDING MACHINE, MOTHERFUCKERS” and since I picked it, it ended up being some award-winning joint that Anthony Bourdain (rip) has visited.
But we had no idea about that until after we sat down with our pizza.
It thankfully wasn’t too crowded, though it definitely wasn’t quiet, so we were able to quickly order and appease the hunger demons.
The one on the left is vegan (lol, I eat cheese, but I wanted to see if it was any good and it actually was super fucking good) and the one on the right was Hot Honey, which was fucking fantastic and oh, how I wish I had an entire pie in front of me right now. It literally had some local hot honey drizzled on top of hearty clumps of ricotta and the best specks of mushrooms I’ve ever had on a pizza. It was just what I didn’t know I needed.
There’s a picture of Anthony Bourdain hanging up there. :(
Chooch and Henry both got sicilian slices and I’m happy to report that everyone was extremely satisfied and we were magically transformed back into a happy family. Thank you, NY Pizza Suprema.
Henry, earlier that day: “We can go if we get to Newark early enough because I don’t want to be in NYC at night.” Lol ok.
And then we got back on the train to Broad Station. We all got to sit together this time, which was fine I guess since we were on speaking terms again. It was fun watching all of the weirdos trying to interact with people.
Then we went back to our “hotel,” which was even BETTER AT NIGHT, you can probably imagine. What a great town Newark is.
No commentsSuper Random Super Junior
Picture it: New York City, 2018. It was a whirlwind day of driving to Newark from Pittsburgh, which should have only taken about 6 hours but when does it ever work out that way, you know?
We had tossed around the idea of possibly taking the train into NYC from Newark if we got in early enough because honestly what the hell is there to possibly do in Newark on a Friday night that’s family friendly? I mean I’m sure there is something but I didn’t care enough to look because I wanted to take a train somewhere lol.
#kidgoals
The LiveBlog from Friday already told you that we did indeed make it into Newark early enough for a quick foray into NYC to be worthwhile. It only cost about $20 for round trip tickets for the three of us so that was a delightful surprise.
Anyway, that’s neither here nor there. I will have a post just for that portion of the evening but today I am here to talk about the happiest of all accidents.
We were just casually strolling down a street toward Times Square, Chooch rambling on about how we’re so mean for not trying to get him a ticket to Hamilton, me trying to avoid falling into potholes or puddles of puke (I almost always walk with my head down because I’m so clumsy), when Henry clamped his meat-hand down on my shoulder and said, “LOOK.”
I was annoyed for a second and bristled visibly at being man-handled, but then my tune changed drastically as my eyes finally focused on what Henry saw.
FREAKING KPOP ICONS SUPER JUNIOR.
Real quick, a condensed history to give you some perspective on how cool this was: Super Junior is one of the biggest Kpop groups in the world. They’re one of the SM Entertainment godfathers, debuting back in 2005 and they’ve been heavily credited for helping spread the Hallyu Wave. From wiki:
Super Junior have earned thirteen music awards from the Mnet Asian Music Awards, sixteen from the Golden Disc Awards, and are the second singing group to win Favorite Artist Korea at the 2008 MTV Asia Awards after jtL in 2003.[4] In 2012, they were nominated for “Best Asian Act” in MTV Europe Music Awards.[5] In 2015, they won the “International Artist” and “Best Fandom” in the Teen Choice Awards.[6]
They currently have seven members in their lineup, but one of them (Heechul, my favorite) doesn’t perform with them anymore due to health issues, but he does appear on a ton of variety shows and he’s awesome. I think two members are currently in the military, 2 are inactive, and two other original members have permanently left the group. It’s really hard to keep up if you’re not a super fan (or an ELF, which is what their fandom is called. Duh.).
So yeah, back to this surreptitious run-in with SUJU!
The first one I saw was Siwon, looking totally unapproachable and regal in his black suit. I started trembling immediately and just kept murmuring, “Oh my god, holy shit” over and over, because OMG HOLY SHIT SUPER JUNIOR IS STANDING ON THE SIDEWALK IN FRONT OF ME AND THERE IS NO BARRICADE SEPARATING US.
Honestly, this is what I wanted to happen when we were strolling about Toronto last summer before the G-Dragon concert but I think I thought about it too hard and it broke the Fate Fairy’s wand.
In the striped shirt over there is Eunhyuk WHO JUST FILMED A DANCING REALITY SHOW WITH ..:::TAEMIN:::.. IN LA, UGHHHHH. And the guy in the suit with his back toward to the camera is the most handsomest one, Donghae. I didn’t even notice him until moments later when he took off his jacket and speed-walked past me, taking my BREATH WITH HIM.
Also, I guess I don’t feel too creepy salivating over these guys because they’re all in their 30s like me and not questionably underage like some of the boy groups out there, lol.
The girl in the yellow pants is Leslie Grace, who sings on Lo Siento with them. I never heard of her, but she is apparently an American tropical singer. She made a special appearance the next night at KCON to perform Lo Siento with them and it was really exciting! I figured they would probably just have one of the girls from Red Velvet fill her spot.
Ugh this dumb broad had the worst photobombing timing ever — this was the best photo I could get of Donghae and he is seriously the best handsome one, in my opinion. I already thought so (ask Henry, he’ll roll his eyes) but good Lord seeing him that close, as he walked past me, it made my knees buckle. What a perfectly gorgeous man, it’s almost unfair.
I replayed this moment over and over again in my head.
Here’s a picture of his whole face so you can see his flawless visage:
Since this was America, the throng of fans was pretty scant, with us being the only non-Asians. But we all kept a respectful distance. One young Asian girl had this huge-ass paparazzi camera though so that was pretty funny.
Look at all the people walking by, oblivious to their proximity to Korean greatness!
Here is the portion of the event where my hands were shaking so bad that I slid my camera options to square format. The guy over there in the yellow on the left, you see the sliver of him holding the birthday gift bag? That’s the leader of SUJU, LeeTeuk. I unfortunately didn’t notice him at the time, so this is the best picture I could get.
I also missed Yesung, which sucks because he is so fucking adorable.
HOWEVER!!!
I did manage to work up the courage to ask Shindong, who was standing alone at the moment, for a picture and he was so nice to us! I wasn’t sure if this was breaking any rules or what, because I didn’t notice any of the other gawkers and oglers asking for pictures, but I saw the opportunity and had to pounce on the now-or-never moment. If he was talking to someone, I wouldn’t have asked. But he was just chilling there, so I took a deep breath and just went for it and he was so nice! “Picture? Sure!” he said and I was like, “Is this is a dream.
”
I pushed Chooch over there because he is my proxy when it comes to posing with celebs, monuments, landmarks, statues, Welcome to [State] signs….But look at Chooch’s face! Even he knows how unexpectedly magical this moment was! Shindong was so nice and I stupidly said thank you to him in English instead of Korean because my brain was causing my motor functions to run backward at that time and honestly, I’m lucky I was even able to say it in English and not some make-believe Alien jibberish. Also, I didn’t drop my phone either, which is a miracle because my hands were shaking so badly. I couldn’t get my nervous system to shut the fuck up for a good solid three hours after this happened, and I just kept saying over and over, “I can’t believe we saw Super Junior. I can’t believe Shindong put his hand on Chooch’s shoulder.” And then it was “SHINDONG PUT HIS HAND ON CHOOCH’S SHOULDER. SHINDOG IS FRIENDS WITH TAEMIN. SHINDONG HAS PROBABLY DEFINITELY TOUCHED TAEMIN 100S OF TIMES. CHOOCH LET ME RUB MY FACE ON YOUR SHOULDER” and you can guess how well that went over.
Also, before I close this chapter, can we just talk about how adorable it is that Henry is the one who recognized them first? Henry unabashedly loves Super Junior though and I think he was honestly a little sad that he wasn’t going to the concert the next night.
Here is their recent music video for Lo Siento with Leslie Grace, in case anyone cares.
Gold Pizza & Noraebang: Chooch’s Big Fun Time Korea Farewell 4/1/18
Can you tell that I’ve been supremely dragging my feet with these posts? I know it’s annoying to everyone else that I have approx. 87 posts about a 10-day trip and that we’ve been home for over two months and I still haven’t closed the book on it, but you have to remember that I’m the girl who can stretch Warped Tour into 6 blog posts plus a gratuitous Henry Interview Extravaganza.
And I’m not even sponsored!
So on that note, here is what we did for the rest of our final full day in Seoul, holy shit I didn’t expect to start crying as I typed that, yet here we are.
For the last night, we finally gave in to Chooch’s desire for SUPER KOREAN FUN TIMES, which involved pizza (specifically, “gold” pizza, more on that in a bit) and noraebang, which is Korean karaoke (literally translates to ‘song room’). Let’s be real, you can’t go to South Korea and not partake in some noraebang because it is a super popular pastime of native Koreans. There are noraebangs everywhere, on nearly every street, in alleys, in every neighborhood and district.
But first he had to suffer through last minute souvenir shopping in Insadong, haha. What every 12-year-old boy wants!
This was when Henry abandoned us in Insadong because he wanted to exchange more money and Chooch somehow inherited two balloons from some people promoting the Alive Museum and then some older Korean man came over and tried to pretend-steal one from Chooch and even with a language barrier, we all managed to have a great big international laugh and these are the heart-warming things that happens when Henry abandons us.
The plan after Insadong was to walk back to the hotel, where Henry would meet us later with pizza procured from a place that Chooch had zeroed in on the day before when we were walking to the palaces. We figured we’d just eat in our room and then set off to Myeongdong for noraebang.
But then Henry came back and was like, “DON’T GET TOO EXCITED” because the pizza was just REGULAR, not GOLD. Apparently, the menu that Chooch saw was for a pizza place that was there previously and now this new one had a different menu which was all in Hangeul and hey you guys, I spent many months leading up to this trip trying to get Henry to learn how to at least read it and he was all, “I DON’T NEED NO HANGEUL.”
Yeah, until you do!
Anyway, Henry felt obligated to buy a pizza from this joint because he had already frustrated the guy working there enough I guess, and it was great pizza, you guys! It really was. But it was extremely similar to American pizza and it was not want we wanted. We wanted that Korean flair.
So we decided to venture on out to the Cheonggyecheon Stream where we saw a place called Mr. Pizza on our second night in Seoul.
But first! We got no further than across the street from the hotel before I realized I left my subway card in the room so Henry obediently went back inside to get it. For some reason, like we need a reason, Chooch and I were nearly peeing our pants in anticipation of seeing our hotel room light turn on, I don’t know why this was such a crucial comedic moment for us, but then it never happened because Henry was all, “I didn’t need to turn it on.” Whatever. At least Chooch nabbed this frameable picture of Henry on his way back to us:
I can only imagine what Chooch and I looked like to passers by, as our raucous laughter caused us to fall into each other like drunks.
This reminds me that I never talked about (lol, like this is a talk show) how we accidentally got lost from Henry the night before on our way to Hongdae. We were walking to one of the Jongno subway stations when Chooch and I stopped to look at jewelry in a store window. I thought dumb Henry knew we stopped but he kept walking and by the time we looked up from the window, WE WERE ABANDONED.
This was like the theme of Korea now that I think about it.
Anyway, we were mildly panicked because there were two subway stations near us and weren’t sure which one he was going to, so we chose the closest one and waited.
And waited.
And waited.
And eventually, this happened:
https://instagram.com/p/Bg-5EYvgdVN/
He didn’t realize we weren’t with him anymore until he turned around to hand us our subway cards.
“You couldn’t tell that you didn’t hear us laughing anymore?” I asked.
“No, because I block that out,” Henry mumbled.
Random alley picture because I don’t even want to forget those narrow Korean alleys that pop off once the sun sets.
When we got to Cheongyecheon, we were excited to see that another night market was going on! It was so tempting to just pig out on all the food vendors there, but we had a fucking pizza to scratch off the Korea bucket list, goddammit. To Mr. Pizza!
Gold pizza level achieved!
So, one notorious thing about Korean pizza is that “gold crust” means that it’s made with sweet potato — I fucking love sweet potato but nothing is better than Korean sweet potato, my friends. It’s like candy. Also, corn! Somehow, corn is as synonymous with pizza in Korea as pepperoni is here.
I just asked Chooch what his Mr. Pizza review is and his eyes got all bugged out. “Yum,” he said, with a very ‘duh’ inflection.
But yeah, so worth it and I’m glad we didn’t settle on the other normal pizza!
I just also asked Henry if he liked Mr. Pizza and he said, “Yeah!” with an actual modicum of enthusiasm because he’s trying to keep me from leaving him so he’s suddenly Boyfriend of the Year.
Also, I was excited because I got to push the button on the table to get the waitress to come and bring us a box! I always wanted to push the button!!!
Afterward, we took the subway to Myeongdong. I chose Myeongdong for our final night because that area rules and we hadn’t experienced it at night before then.
“Are you sure there are noraebangs here?” Henry asked, and I was like, “Uh yeah, le duh” because where aren’t there noraebangs, is the real question. Funny though how as soon as you’re looking for one, they’re suddenly gone, like those little trolls from Labyrinth were flipping over the signs before we walked past. Also, I did notice that most of these places don’t have any English on the signs, so unless it’s a really big, touristy noraebang with big windows in the front to let you see in, you might walk past 59 of them without ever knowing. So if you’re planning to go to Korea and want to sing your face blue in one of these joints, look for this word: 노래방
We eventually found one (not like we were bored looking for one though; Myeongdong is so freaking vibrant and upbeat at night, even on a Sunday!) called Sing Sing. When we walked in, Henry was like, “OH” because it reeked like a dive bar and was pretty dark and creepy, but I loved the atmosphere! It felt more authentic than the shiny, bright ones in Gangnam and Hongdae. This one felt like a place where locals would hang out, and we were definitely not the only ones there.
Henry paid the nice boy approximately 20,000 won for an hour and he lead us into our own private room, gave us a brief tutorial on how to work the remote, and then let us have our privacy to hold faux Produce 101 auditions.
Chooch’s first song was a goddamn Maroon 5 song and we were like, “Oh.” Then he sang something else that was dumb too, while I flipped through the book to find him something cool to sing.
Guys, the rooms even come with tambourines.
I had no intentions of doing any singing because I’m just not into that. And that’s when I saw it.
“Even the Night’s Are Better” by Air Supply.
Air Supply, you guys.
“Henry, you’re singing this with me,” I ordered, tossing him a mic and punching in the number.
“Wha—?” he stuttered, and then the song started and he was like, “Are you kidding.”
I immediately launched into my famous brand of shriek-singing on top of a bed of throaty giggles, while Henry mumbled along, and Chooch stared at me with the most appalled and disgusted look on his face.
“WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!?” he cried when the song ended.
“God, I forgot how great I sing!” I said, and Henry was just like, “No.” I think it brought back his PTSD from all the Saturday nights we spent at McCoy’s on karaoke night. I think my crowning moment was the time I sang “Old McDonald Had a Farm” and called for audience participation. The weathered broad who ran karaoke there, DJ Danger (lol), haaaaated me with such a passion and actually got to the point where she would make executive decisions and veto my song choices.
WELL THEN DON’T PUT THEM IN YOUR SONG BOOK, BITCH.
Anyway, back to noraebang, we also sang SHATTERED DREAMS and Chooch was like WHAT IS HAPPENING AM I HALLUCINATING, OR….
“Ugh, I wish they had Skater Boi!” Chooch groaned, flipping through the book 7800 times. I knew they had it because I saw it but I lied and said they totally 100% did not have that song or any other Avril Lavigne songs because she has a lawsuit out against noraebangs, but then I felt bad and said FINE HERE IT IS, SING YOUR DUMB HEART OUT.
But the grand finale was Chooch and me dueting with….
CAN YOU GUESS?!?!
CALL ME MAYBE.
Our theme!
Oh good lord, we were so sweaty by the time our hour was up, and our stomachs hurt from laughing so hard, and my throat hurt from going ham on Air Supply, and it was just the perfect way to end our time in Korea. I especially loved how we could hear people singing in other rooms every time we paused to find our next song.
It was so good! Don’t skip out on noraebang if you’re in Korea! DON’T!!
Here I am in the noraebang bathroom!
Here’s Chooch under the noraebang sign!
Myeongdong!
We capped off the night with ice cream from Milky Bee.
My hand looks so weird here. Henry’s pose, tho.
On our walk back to the hotel from the Jongno subway station, we stopped at a snack shop and I stocked up on some Korean candies for my International Candy Pumpkin at work and had to snap this picture because I’ve had some these corn sticks in there before and at first my work friends were skeptical but then grew to love them.
OK, maybe “love” is a stretch, but they ate them. There were so many different varieties in Korea! Back at the hotel. Chooch and I collapsed and Henry did all the packing while muttering things like, “Just lay there, assholes. Sure, I’ll do everything. Don’t help me.”
I don’t even know how to end this. This was so much more than just a vacation, though. It was a dream come true and a really amazing thing to experience with my little family unit. But, all good things, am I right? We’re hoping to go back again next summer, because there are other cities we want to explore in addition to Seoul and Busan, and plus there was so much in Seoul alone that we weren’t able to get to.
So, if you read all of these or followed along with us on Instagram, thank you! You’re the real MVP!
“OMG I don’t want to hit ‘publish’ on this because once I do, it’s done. It’s over. It’s really over,” I just wailed to Henry. “UNLESS YOU WRITE YOUR OWN RECAP!!!!”
And do you know what he said?
“We’ll see.”
THAT MEANS YES!
3 commentsChooch’s Itaewon Recap: 4/1/18
Hey, Chooch here! The last day of Korea went by with many tears and broken heart fragments left behind. The morning was the same as any morning in Korea, with my feet still sore from the pain and agony of the hills and miles we walked the night before. Although, we never know what we are going to do next during the day. I’m pretty sure this day was actually planned; we were going to Itaewon. We took the saddening subway, not because it was gross and disgusting in there, GOD NO! It was pretty much our last time hearing the beautiful subway jingle. I heard the *bloop* as my tear hit the floor. We made it to Itaewon, it was still early so nothing was open, except for the convenience stores that are open 24 hours; like every convenience store. We walked around and noticed that the streets were not cleaned yet after all of the clubbing and drunks the night before.
[Ed.Note: Chooch makes it sound like Itaewon was some unsavory area but it’s just a neighborhood that’s a popular hangout and go-to for bars and clubs. Seoul in general was pretty squeaky clean as far as litter goes which is a mystery considering how challenging it was to find garbage cans!]
As I wept inside my mind just thinking of leaving, I noticed the Line Friends flagship, the main one we were looking for the whole 10 days we were there. The reason we could not find it was because it just wasn’t listed on any website. The main thing that made this particular store so special was because this one sold BTS’ line of animals; BT21. Sadly, they were not for sale the day we went, otherwise we definitely would have got one or two.
Other than that, I was promised something from this store because of the agony I went through during our journey through complex Gangnam, you know the city we almost died in because Henry got us lost and said, “Oh. There is no subway we can take to get there faster.” Although, we went back to our hotel through the subway down the street from where we went.
These are the BT21 animals that weren’t on sale. I found it hilarious how the horse/unicorn character is on his head. You know what? It probably isn’t a unicorn. If it was his horn would be snapped either completely or in half.
In the Line Friends store, there were many rooms, being used by the mascots for the company.
The one I am in is Brown’s room. He was the most popular.. I should say the main mascot for Line. I should say what Line Friends is. DUH. Line Friends is owned by Line, a messaging company as like Kakao. Koreans use Line, or Kakao instead of the actual texting apps on their phones, I guess because it’s more aesthetic?
Staircase with the BT21 characters on the individual steps.
My favorite character is the little cookie! He comes in a group and is just flat down cute.
Sally was my favorite character. No, Sally is not the rabbit on the ceiling of the yellow room, that is it’s own room. Sally is the chick you can see painting through the red, round window. I actually got a stuffed Sally. She is dressed up as a chicken, a grown up version of herself. I don’t love her as much as Peachy Boi “Apeach” from Kakao, though. Peachy Boi is definitely the best of all of Kakao and Line Friends, but Line Friends does have those BT21 character, so I’ll give em’ that.
This guy was really cool! I ordered Turkish ice cream an I guess to show that the ice cream is sticky and sturdy, the man was taunting me by flipping the cone upside down and around, trying to make me grab it, but quickly pulled it back. He then proceeds to tap my nose with THE ICE CREAM. I don’t think he realized, and I really don’t care, but, “DARN YOU, MAN!”
As a conclusion to this post, here are 5 things to know before you travel to Korea.
Number 5: You should know some Korean, if not all. Entering stores, Koreans may not always say hello. They might say Annyeonghaseyo, or 안녕하세요, which is Korean for “Hello!” You would also need to know some Hangul, the Korean alphabet, because you may have to read menus/signs.
Number 4: Be aware of the ajummas, or the old women. They may seem like they hate you, but really, they stare at and push everyone. Don’t feel special.
Number 3: Learn how the currency works. If you don’t understand, obviously, you will not know how to trade in the U.S Dollar for Korean Won. $1 is equal to about ₩1.
Number 2: Know that Northeastern Asia is very mountainous and steep. Many interesting cultural villages are located on a mountain or hill. A VERY STEEP HILL. On the other hand, the pleasant hand, the trek is worth it. The view is also very delightful, from the top and from the bottom.
Number 1: Finally, know how to read a map. It is NOT very hard, especially if you were in the service for a long period of time. You need to know how to read a map because you may want to go somewhere on the subway and you might not know how to get there, so you need to read a map. If you don’t know how, you will probably get your family and yourself lost.
In conclusion, those are some things you need to know before traveling to South Korea.
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