May 012012
 

After Corey’s commencements on Saturday, Henry and Chooch rejoined us and we all went out to dinner, which was nice because I don’t think Henry has ever gone out to dinner with me and my dad before, plus this was his first time meeting my grandma Kelly.

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Even though I asked the waiter to put me, Chooch and Henry on a separate check, my dad picked up the tab.

Danielle was prepared to give him cash for her dinner but he waved her off.

“If I had known you were paying, I would’ve ordered something cheaper!” she said.

“I’d have ordered something more,” I mumbled, like the brat that I am.
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Chooch didn’t swear it all! I guess my pep talk of, “PLEASE DON’T SWEAR PLEASE DON’T SWEAR” really got through to him. I can only imagine how fast my grandma Kelly would hold a crucifix to his forehead if he let an obscenity rip. To his credit though, he’s really good about his word choice in public.

He got to sit by Corey, who is like a bright, shiny toy to him, so that helped keep his most monstrous antics recessed.

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Bread was a hot commodity at that joint.

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My grandma Kelly is such a sweet old woman. When we were sitting on the bleachers at the Sports Center, she told Danielle and me that women should never poop in public restrooms because it’s shameful and then segued right into asking me if I go to church every week. I always feel like she can see my black, ashy aura.

At dinner, she slung her purse over the back of her chair and said, “It’s bad luck to put your purse on the floor.

Henry looked over at my purse, discarded in a heap next to my chair under the table, contents beginning to seep out like entrails, and said, “Well, that explains a lot.”

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  4 Responses to “Boulevard Grille”

  1. I just recently heard that it was bad luck to put your purse on the floor, but no one could tell me why. I think it means you’ll lose your money if you do it. I dunno, but I’m too old to stop doing it now.

  2. “When we were sitting on the bleachers at the Sports Center, she told Danielle and me that women should never poop in public restrooms because it’s shameful and then segued right into asking me if I go to church every week. I always feel like she can see my black, ashy aura.”

    I CANNOT stop the Tolhurst right now and I’m trying to eat lunch!!!

  3. Not to be rude, but your Grandma looks well strict/scary I wouldn’t want to up set her.

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