Hello Internet. It is 7:24am and Henry and I are departing our house for Cleveland. We both have the day off work but Chooch went back to school today so I thought, “What could we do that’s fun but doesn’t take us too far away” and then through the power of YouTube I accidentally stumbled across a vlog where some vegan went to a cafe and got pink vegan cinnamon rolls AND A PINK LATTE. Come on, we all know I’m not above novelties foods and bevs, so I was all over this like a Jersey Shore girl and a Plan B pill.
Unfortunately, upon more research I learned that this joint – the 27 Club – is owned by Machine Gun Kelly which is v. cringe but I want the latte so am choosing to ignore this gross fact. Shh.
Besides, we’re listening to Taemin in the car to ward off the sleazy MGK vibes.
Gee wiz guys it’s 11:05 and I forgot I started a LiveBlog lol. But we’re done with 27 Club and I am here to say it was…worth it ugh. Lol. I will post more about it on the way home because now we’re going to West Side Market, supposedly. Henry went rogue and made the unilateral decision.
12:16pm: We just left a pointless stop downtown CLE and are en route to Otani Sushi and Henry is stressing me out because he has to USE A BATHROOM like ASAP and I’m over here like plz stop talking about this.
Anyway, here are some pictures from the cafe, which was actually a pleasant experience as I said above.
Henry enters the building.
Little known fact about me: I never was a fan of Biggie. Tupac or GTFO.
Barely anyone reads this so I’m confident that it shall remain a little known fact!
I got my pink latte with almond milk and salted maple syrup and it was actually VERY nice. I know it’s all about the beans but also the type of syrups a cafe uses can make or break the place you know? This maple flavoring was very mellow and not cloying at all. So even apart from the fact that it’s adorably pink, this shit tasted great too.
I guess henry liked his cold brew. Who cares. (I just asked him and he said yeah and also it made him remember the LIQUIDITY of it which exacerbated his need for A BATHROOM lol).
I’m really glad that we went there before they took down their Christmas decor because yes.
All of the stools had various dead singers on them. Ours had Amy Winehouse on one side and whoever was on the other side looked like Jonny Craig at first and I could tell Henry was trying not to make any OFF COLOR jokes about how too bad Jonny made it past 27 wow did I really just do that for him? Oh well. I forgot to look at the picture more closely before we left so I never did actually see who it was.
Was Henry enjoying where he was right then, Y or N.
You guys – these vegan cinnamon rolls were made fresh upon ordering, came out piping hot, with this banging pitaya icing. I LOVED THEM. Of course I shared with Henry, who only expressed mediocre feelings toward them. I think he was in pink shock though.
Um I also bought a hoodie because my eyesight might be fledgling but it’s still 20/20 when it comes to design. This hoodie is THE LIMIT. I’m also obsessed with the 27 Club’s logo. Ugh.
12:30pm: NEWS ALERT – Henry just RELIEVED himself at a REBEL gas station. He is so happy now.
Also our Waze is still set to Korean so Henry nearly missed a hidden cop up ahead lol.
Overall, I am very satisfied with my experience at 27 Club even though it had the equivalent cringe factor of, say, visiting a vape shop owned by Jonny Craig.
Ugh I bought a bottle of Voss water earlier at Sheetz and I will never buy it again. It tastes awful and I think it’s the AQUAMIN that’s in it whatever that is?? It reminds me of, and this will mean nothing to you, the water fountain in the office of Dr. Lewis, the “fat doctor” my mom used to go to in the 80s to get probably unsafe “diet pills” and my brother Ryan and I would always have to sit in the waiting room with all the other “it’s this or Jazzercize” desperate broads. Ugh the water fountain there had the grossest vitamin infused flavor.
1:22pm: just had an underwhelming visit to my fave vintage joint, Flower Child. I mean it was still fun to walk around but there was nothing that really caught my eye and felt worth arguing with Henry over until he acquiesces and agrees that, yes Erin, we really do need yet another swag lamp in the house even though there is literally nowhere else to put one.
I cried IS THIS FOR COCAINE and Henry was like, “um I don’t see how, but ok.” Then he just strolled off into the
sunset next room, leaving me to wonder.
There weren’t even really any JESUS pictures that I needed. Oh well. Next time maybe.
Here are pictures from when we went to the Arcade which was completely empty and the restrooms were locked, causing Henry to cry because this was at the height of his bathroom urgency and even Starbucks down the street was closed lol.
As of 1:31 I hate Henry because he SNEEZED with no warning and now he’s sniffling ughhhhhh.
Meanwhile we’ve been to Cleveland approx. 50x and I still never know where anything is.
2:09: Hi. We’re at Otani Japanese because they have veg/vegan sushi options and henry is being a big cry baby because he wanted WONTON SOUP and i allegedly shamed him somehow? But then he had a big RISE-UP moment and called the waiter over to add it to his order, like ok cool Henry, snap those big boy pants suspenders.
LOLOLOL it’s WONTON SOUP time:
Oh shit hello vegan sushi:
Hey wanna know something hilarious? After we devoured this, our waiter came over and asked, “are you guys vegan?”
“I’m vegetarian,” I said, scared that he was going to say, “ok because actually that one roll has actual tuna in it” but apparently they have an entirely separate vegan menu with EVEN MORE OPTIONS than what’s on the regular menu and it would have been nice if the host had given us that with the other menus. I just really thought the menu looked odd because I had sworn when I looked at the website a few weeks ago, I had seen a shit ton of vegan sushi rolls that had me gurgling my saliva but then I just assumed that maybe I had gotten restaurants mixed up in my head because that’s definitely an Erin Thing to do.
LOOK AT THIS SHIT. I’ll be coming back to Cleveland sooner rather than later, I guess.
4:16lm: at a rest stop outside of PA, henry decided to treat himself to a Blizzard. Of course I chose for him (snickerdoodle) and then spent a solid minute having an internal convo with my alter egos about how ridiculous of a word “snickerdoodle” is. Then I started imagining Chooch working at DQ and instead of just handing Blizzards upside down to customers, throwing it in the air and then drop-kicking it over the counter because that would be a very Chooch Thing to do.
Anyway, this Blizzard was not snickerdoodle? It had chocolate slivers in it? What the hell?
I mean it was still good because Blizzards gon’ Blizz (…what?) but that was no snickerdoodle I’ve ever tasted.
Ok well we should be home in about a half hour so goodbye.