Urgent. Will die without reading.

• 16:44 I just sold my first photo! Now I will quit my job and travel the world in a beret. Literally, in a beret with a paddle. #
• 20:37 My boss discovered how easily scared I am. “Its fun all day” he said. #
• 10:46 Walked in on Chooch in his pooping corner and he yelled MOMMY GO! and then literally snarled, “Asshole.” #
• 14:13 Chooch wants to be David from Lost Boys. He already has natural fangs but finding a trench coat is futile. #
• 21:13 Today on my commute, I spied a man standing in front of a portajohn next to the baitshop, fiddling with his fly. It was hot. #
• 23:30 Blake and I attempted to sculpt henrys hair into a hott scene coif while he was engrossed in computer stuff. #
• 22:27 Tonite I learned that janna is not my bff, female chainsaw wielders are the meanest, & using a fake name doesn’t fly in haunted houses. #
• 11:19 I should have emancipated myself when I had the chance. #
• 11:30 I think some guy just pointed a bazooka at me. #
• 11:55 Chooch found the Hotwheels motherlode at the flea market. #
• 12:10 One of these days I’ll remember to bring enuf $ to the flea market to get me a sword. #

Automatically shipped by LoudTwitter Now you can rest easy, knowing my inner most thoughts and movements.