Earth-shattering updates throughout the day. Please try to continue breathing while taking it all in.
- 17:55 Ramen noodles and creamed corn for dinner, made by my own two hands. NO HELP. #
- 17:59 Not that I wouldnt PREFER help #
- 18:05 I slaved over the stove all so Chooch can haughtily say “I can’t like creamed corn.” ASSHOLE. #
- 18:34 The fact that my teeth began to ache halfway thru the commercial makes me rethink my initial desire to procure and devour a Wazoo bar. #
- 16:28 I feel very confident in @dyannnnna’s and my choice of tattoo parlor. April 18th seems so far away! :( #
- 16:52 My blog has made Henry semi-famous and he’s NOT enthused. #
- 17:22 What, I always wear stilettos with a sweatshirt to the grocery store. #
- 21:11 When I was a teen, Whitesnake’s “Is This <3” used to make me wish for a blue collared, older man boyfriend clad in a denim jacket. #
- 21:12 The moral of this story: be careful what u wish for. #
- 21:26 OK I take back my disdain – Henry bought a crock pot so now he can cook us dinner even when he’s not here! No more eating like orphans! #
- 23:05 Tried to get Henry to be a vampire. Was unsuccessful. #
- 00:50 Hopefully someone asks me to marry them so I can have Now That’s What I Call Power Ballads played on repeat at the reception. #
- 00:51 Stephanie from Wisconsin lost 31lbs so fast and I’m drunk. #
- 10:19 I swear it sounded like Henry said he wanted to dick stroke me. Always mixing me up with his boyfriend. #
- 12:24 My Henrietta is at the dining room table, sewing away. #
- 17:04 Alisha is prepping me for bowling. I’m scared. #
- 18:09 Alisha is learning me some bowling etiquette now. My knowledge, it flows. #
- 19:04 Totally flinched when Alisha raised her hand to pat my shoulder. #
- 19:28 Me: “we should have a bowling club!” Alisha: “I believe they’re called leagues” Collin: “we could join a league. And suck.” #
- 19:29 I GOT MY FIRST STRIKE MUTHAFUCKA WHUTWHUT. #
- 19:30 That wasn’t as sexual as I thought itd be. #
- 20:11 Me: that garbage smells. Henry: its garbage. #
- 20:16 Alisha’s reasoning for losing: “I just want to make sure someone scores below Erin” #
- 20:48 Somehow I’m in second place out of SEVEN BITCHES YO. Dyanna calls beginners luck but I think I’m a secret professional. #
- 20:59 AYO I’m a natural at this bowling biznass. #
- 21:03 AYO = thug battlecry, for ppl like @dyannnnna who are too white to knizow. #
- 22:58 About to try and rub my blood on a wendy’s employee. #
- 09:59 Convincing Chooch that “hollaaa!” is a better salutation than “hello.” Hopefully he heeds my advice next time he makes an entrance. #
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HOORAY FOR MAKING DINNER!
the “can’t”… it gets me every time! haha
Will you marry me?
You totally rocked the bowling alley!…even though we never got to hear your “jam”.
That just means we have to go again so I can re-request my jam! And wear our specially-designed shirts.
I can’t believe I never knew of your bowling talent before.
Sounds like you all had a lot of fun :)
I love any occasion where I can outshine Collin.
One game dammit, one game!! :)
Bowling is crazy fun, me and Billy can roll, we’re on a league every other Saturday.
We’ll def. have to pop it into the schedule for the next visit!
We really should! The alley we went to is in that tiny shopping center we parked at when we ate at Tom’s and it’s totally dingy and 1970s. I loved it!