Jun 092010


It’s almost time for all the county fairs to start a’happenin’!! I can barely contain my excitement!

Since I have a job this summer (as opposed to last summer when I did not have a job), I’m determined to go to every single fair.

Not in the country. Just in Western Pennsylvania. Unless someone out there wants to sponsor me to go on a cross-country county fair run. Because I’d do it, if you really wanted me to.

The only problem is that none of my fair companions like spinny rides and spinny rides are my favorite rides.


I’m also excited for Kennywood (our local amusement park)! So excited that I’ve been reading old posts I’ve written about Kennywood and, even before the park season started, I’d suggest to Henry, “Oh my god, let’s drive past Kennywood!” and he’d be like, “Why? That’s so gay.” And then I’d have to remind him about the Hilary Duff PSA on MTV and remind him that what he really meant to say was, “That’s so Henry.”

Two weeks ago, I made him drive past on a Saturday night. You know, just so Chooch and I can see the lights. The problem with Kennywood is that there’s only a small stretch of road that passes it so it’s all, “OMG THERE’S THE SWINGSH—-THERE’S THE PIRATE SH—-THERE’S THE BUMPER—” and then it’s gone.

But it’s totally worth it and gets me so pumped, even though I act like an orphan excited to see real life parents for 30 seconds before they’re whisked away.

The other night I had a dream that there was some contest somewhere (probably in the back of some Bulgarian porn rag) to win a trip to the county fair with me and NO ONE ENTERED. I guess you could say I had a big sad when I woke up.

A very big sad.

An epic sad, even.

It’s out of my system now. Just like yesterday’s lunch. OM NOM NOM.

OK! I’m done. LOLspeak does not suit me. I’ll stick to superfluous swearing.


What summer staples do you most look forward to? Tell me now!

  8 Responses to “County Fair Preparations”

  1. Oh.my. I just had a flashback of some of the fairs that we attended last summer. I REALLY wish I could ride the spin-y rides because sometimes they look so fun, but I don’t think anyone really wants to put up with me crying for the rest of the night bc i got sick from the spins. AMIRITE?

  2. The big butler county fair is absolutely amazing! Where else can you get roach clip hair feathers, belt buckles, more patriotic crap than you can shake a stick at all while getting eyed up by some locals that make deliverance look tame…. and they have the most delicious crepes ever.

  3. I love the county fair just so I can buy gigantic bags of Cotton candy to stuff in my face. Paul won me a hermit crab at one years back. It was kind of stinky and eventually died because I can’t be trusted to take care/remember to feed anything that isn’t loudly vocal about it.
    My birthday and our wedding anniversary are the same week in July. Plus I always take that week off work. So that’s what I’m looking forward too. Not having a huge birthday party this year. I still haven’t recovered from the last one. Turning 36 isn’t as much fun as 35

    • Hermit crabs are way more work than I ever would have imagined! I had two at one point: Tabasco and Dijon. They both died pretty horrifically. :(

      I hope you guys have a fun time for your birthday and anniversary! Bonus that you get more time away from shitty work!

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