Jul 16

tweets said what?

Category: tweets

Earth-shattering updates throughout the day, brought to you by Tart-Tits. Please try to continue breathing while taking it all in.

  • 14:38 Naked without my Olson twin sunglasses. Squinting like a fucking mole. #
  • 14:40 Going back to the Butler County Fair. Double rainbow all the way! #
  • 19:26 Henry loses all value of the dollar at the fair. I wish I could fiscally unclench long enough to do the same. #
  • 19:27 Just want to say a solid thank you to Alisha for pointing out all th deformaties at the fair today. #
  • 19:52 Just had to have a convo with a mom AND NOW SHE IS SITTING WITH US WHAT. #
  • 19:53 And she just very passively bummed a cigarette from Alisha. She’s said “yinz” 12x so far. #
  • 20:00 Lol mom convo twitpic.com/2478f4 #
  • 20:10 Now my brother Corey and his gf are here encouraging the awkwardness. #
  • 21:56 Goodbye Butler County Fair, you sexy double rainbow bitch. #
  • 22:29 A difference btwn Chooch & me: he wants to rip his event wristband off ASAP upon departure; I wear mine til it disinte grates, then I cry. #
  • 23:08 My Warped Tour photos, if anyone gives a shit: www.flickr.com/photos/rowdyruby/sets/72157624451547564/ #
  • 23:55 It’s against Henry’s religion to laugh at anything I say or write. But he will always laugh every time I fall down the steps. #

  • 11:15 Chooch just made me put earplugs in his ears so he can go upstairs to use the bathroom while Henry is vacuuming. Issues. #
  • 11:23 I found my first ever Internet friend, circa 1998, on Facebook and I think my ecstatic message creeped her out. #
  • 11:49 Being in Hartford with properly fitted pants, a girl can dream. #
  • 13:05 Pissed ppl off at a red light; apparently they don’t appreciate the soul splitting screams of Miss May I. :( #
  • 13:22 A super old lady just plopped down next to me on a bench & I’m fighting the urge to stop breathing. #
  • 13:34 At Panera with a girl I haven’t seen in 14 years. Amazing. #
  • 17:08 In catching up with Jessy, she asked if I’m still “really clumsy.” Yes, and my clumsiness comes in new flavors now too. #
  • 17:14 And then I cried while telling her about Warped Tour. Slap me. #
  • 20:05 Yo, it’s a BLOG BASH, double rainbow all the way!: Hi! Apparently this is a Blog Bash! I’m not very social in the … bit.ly/dbtadb #
  • 20:26 Fran on Hell’s Kitchen looks like she’s a Seth MacFarlane creation. #
  • 20:29 Wish I was there, so badly:( RT @VansWarpedTour The sky looks rad! twitpic.com/24j2pc #
  • 20:48 I’m so much of a loser, I’m a looser. #
  • 23:55 The Phil Mickelson Rolex commercial is SO INTENSE OMG. (Like a double rainbow, but you knew that.) #

  • 01:02 Almost made it a full day sans fighting, but Captain Callous had to go & make a dickhead comment at the midnight hour. WOOHOO! #
  • 01:06 In the market for water retardant pillowcases. #
  • 01:51 Captain Callous apologized. Thank you for mediating, Twitter. Send the bill to @awoodhick. #
  • 10:55 My signed Chiodos poster has been rolled up on the fireplace mantle for over 3 years now. Maybe I should get that framed before I die. #
  • 12:55 Ditto RT @davidlasseter Now I’m depressed RT @snelldarcie: *sigh* still Sidney Crosby number of days until Hockey season starts. #
  • 21:31 Anyone want to adopt either me or my 4-year-old son? Quite positive we can’t live together anymore. #
  • 23:38 Chooch just confessed to knocking something over earlier w/ his ball, then promptly began to snore. #

  • 03:52 My Top 3 Weekly #lastfm artists: Emarosa (20), House vs. Hurricane (4) and We Came As Romans (3) #lastfm bit.ly/cShGmp #
  • 15:29 Can’t wait to get to work! Can’t wait to get to work! Can’t wait to get to work! #
  • 15:32 Unfortunately, I can usually still hear Chooch’s big mouth reverberating inside my skull for the 1st two hours of work. I need a gin bath. #

  • 00:25 I’m watching Pretty Little Liars without Henry. He’s gonna be so sad-faced. #
  • 01:24 It’s like no one told Piper Perabo that this shit she does is being shown in theaters and on TV, not a high school stage. #
  • 10:44 Steaming hot pavement of cemetery > the gym. Except I’m always expecting to see a zombie baby in Chooch’s carseat when I leave. #
  • 13:15 I have had to make so many non-Henry phone calls today that my soul hurts. How did I ever function pre-email and text? #
  • 13:16 Also, I can’t wait to NOT have an iPhone. Blackberries win. #
  • 15:25 Blogathon 2010!: It’s that time of year, you guys! Blogathon time! This year, the masterminds behind the official … bit.ly/a932DJ #
  • 18:24 Good thing i only needed the one eye to work tonight. Just the one. #
  • 23:51 It’s kind of hard for my birthday to suck this year when Jersey Shore 2 premieres on its eve. #

  • 12:20 I could really use a good Lisa hang-out. #
  • 14:17 Chooch is setting up his room for a zombie cookout. Not sure if he’s expecting zombie guests or if they’re going on the grill. #
  • 14:44 Chooch came into my room & said “Present for Erin Kelly.” I’ve never heard him say my full name before; having an odd moment now.
  • 14:51 When I start my own village under the train trestle, we’ll all be victorious. And probably a little malnourished.
  • 15:45 Today I learned that Chooch doesn’t like guys who walk into gas stations with no shirt on, & he’ll say it to your face too.
  • 17:56 I could be doing so much better than this.
  • 19:41 All it takes is one “Hi there” & I’m practically falling out of my chair.
  • 21:52 I cried during The Hills finale. DON’T HATE. No, go ahead–you can hate.
  • 23:49 Set n Lift looks like way too much work for me. Sort of like Strap Perfect. And getting a bowl of cereal.

  • 10:32 Henry and I are on our way to meet with someone and he goes, “She’s going to smell like patchouli isn’t she?” What the fuck, Henry.
  • 10:44 Maybe someday Emarosa will stop making my heart feel like it’s wrapped in barbed wire. Like maybe when I’m dead.
  • 11:50 Me: I want something large and iced. Henry: a broken arm? Yes Henry, just don’t forget the straw.
  • 12:02 They collect old ppl RT @drosennhl I just spoke with Mike Babcock and he’s convinced that Mike Modano will sign with the Red Wings
  • 12:08 Sorry Henry. Circa Survive can’t come to my city without me going. They’re my top 5. Prepare for tickets to be bought.
  • 16:24 If this was the best decision then why do I feel like shit.
  • 18:57 I was just served warm cherry pie smothered in whipped cream for dinner. My day just got much better.
  • 20:10 When I grow up, I hope I find something to do for a living.
  • 21:07 It’s awesome to leave and realize you have nowhere to go. Sitting alone at Brookline Park if anyone wants to come stab me.
  • 21:20 At least there’s a nice breeze out here. TRYING TO BE POSITIVE OK.
  • 21:21 Seriously, no local murderers read my tweets? What a letdown.
  • 22:01 Patiently waiting for Henry to finish my new blog layout. I say “patiently” because I have wine & a horror movie to placate me.
  • 23:49 I haven’t made a video of myself stalking someone in almost…FIVE YEARS WHAT THE FUCK?!?!

  • 01:11 Henry broke my blog. I’m trying not to cry. APPARENTLY NOT HARD ENOUGH.

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4 Comments so far

  1. brittney July 18th, 2010 10:04 am

    the old lady who farted cracked me up

    I may or may not have cried about the hills season finale too.. how fuckin gay!

  2. Tuna Tar-Tart July 19th, 2010 9:35 am

    I”m just glad to have found someone else who admits to watching it!

  3. Alaina July 18th, 2010 6:09 pm

    I haven’t seen the hills finale yet…it’s waiting for me on my DVR :-)

    I was in a really nice restaurant in Vegas once and this chick just ripped a loud, wet fart. It was hilarious.

    I feel like I’ve lived through your day…

  4. Tuna Tar-Tart July 19th, 2010 9:37 am

    OMG the finale is really contrived for the most part. Lots of vacant stares from Audrina, Kristen being vague about her plans, etc. But the very end was like WHAT? The audacity!

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