Sep 112022
 

Late Saturday morning of Labor Day weekend, we made it to one of my bucket list parks (lol so stupid), Mt. Olympus in Wisconsin! I have watched enough vlogs on this place to know that I needed to proceed with caution, that it’s truly a ride-at-your-own-risk park. But it’s home to four wooden coasters, one of them being the notorious Hades 360 which was the first wooden coaster to feature an inversion (although this revamping of the original Hades coaster debuted with the inversion in tandem with Silver Dollar City unveiling the RMC masterpiece, Outlaw Run, which was *also* taking the title for FIRST WOODIE WITH INVERSION. So Silver Dollar City modified their claim to “multiple inversions,” lol. Coaster drama.

So right off the bat, you get a true taste of how sketchy this park is as you’re walking down the entrance and can LITERALLY reach out and touch the track of Zeus. You could slap hands with people riding it, there is NOTHING STOPPING YOU from losing a hand or climbing all the way onto the track and losing your whole damn life. Presumably, this is what they’re waiting for being putting up actual safety measures.

We didn’t spent too much time here so hopefully I can give you a succinct recap with a minimal amount of typos. Let’s goooo.

The entrance to Zeus is the first thing you run into once you get your wristband and enter the park through the gift shop. We got in line for this immediately and started doing neck rotations and windmills in order to lubricate the ol’ spine-a-roo before an afternoon of body beatings. Everything here was one-train-ops, and Zeus only had one young girl operating the ride AND checking restraints, but we still somehow only had to wait for about 20 minutes. I think that most people come to Mt, Olympus for the water park (it’s like, world renown I guess, but not a water park specialist so I can’t confirm) and it was honestly pretty chilly that day (I think it only got up to 70 at one point but felt more like low-60s) so the park wasn’t very crowded.

Um, OK Zeus! Your trains are old and busted but this was a really enjoyable wooden coaster! Not too terribly rough and it had me laughing SO HARD that I was giving myself coughing fits, which was basically the theme of the whole weekend. Janky coaster-inducing coughing fits.

Oh! When Chooch and I were getting into the back seat, there was a phone and lighter sitting there, left behind by the guy who was riding before us. Luckily, he was very distinguishable because he was wearing a bright yellow hoodie, so Chooch put the lost items in the bin with our stuff, figuring the guy would probably be lingering near Zeus once he realized he left his stuff behind. BUT HE WASN’T. So now Chooch was the keeper of the lost items and refused to give up and turn them over to lost and found, determined to find the guy himself.

Thank god the park is very small, but we still walked around aimlessly for 30 minutes, looking for the damn guy. Henry kept saying that he saw him and we were like, “Bro, that’s not even close to what the dude looks like, do you even know who you’re looking for??”

Just as Chooch was about to make his concession speech, we ran into the guy who was finally heading back toward Zeus. Chooch strode right up to him and said, “Did you lose your phone?”

The guy was, “YES” and Chooch handed it over (and the lighter, lol) and dude was like, “THANK YOU!”

And that was that. No back-claps, no promise of being penpals, no “Are you on TikTok?”s.

Super anti-climatic.

But now that we got that over with, it was Hades360 time!

The line looked a lot longer than it was, but it was still the longest wait we had all day and that was still only about 30 minutes. It’s actually good that there were some people in the park because I heard that some of the coasters won’t/can’t be sent unless the train is full or almost full. So on dead days, some coasters there won’t even open.

Also, Hades360 allegedly breaks down quite often so I just wanted to get on this at least once.

Gum tree.

This picture sucks because Henry took it with his shitty broken phone, but here we are, about to ride Hades360 for the first time! Henry was mad because when the ride attendant asked how many we had, we said two so Chooch and I were able to snag the back row while Henry had to wait for the next cycle, lololol.

OK um…I don’t even know how to explain Hades360 but if you ever want to feel like you’re having a near-collision with death, ride this. Drive yourself to Wisconsin and wedge your ass in a seat on this carriage to Hell and you will understand. It was out of control, relentless, forceful, ROUGH, and that’s before it even gets to the absolutely terrifying PITCH BLACK tunnel UNDER THE PARKING LOT. And then you have to go back through the tunnel on the way back and there is a surround-sound ROARING throughout the underground portion that literally sounds like Satan himself is telling you to SLOW DOWN.

There are signs that tell you not to put your hands up and you better believe I obeyed those signs because that was one terrifying experience, yet TOTALLY EXHILARATING. Chooch, who was being a moody teenager most of the day up to this point, dropped the facade long enough to casually admit that this is now on his Top 10 wooden coaster list. Honestly, I was waiting for him to say something totally disparaging and shit-eating, like, “That was overrated” or “Cool mm.”

I hate “cool mm” btw. It’s his response to EVERYTHING I text him.

Anyway, here is Henry riding it in the backseat after us! As soon you leave the station, you go down that first drop and then it just gets scarier and scarier from there.

Here also is a super underrated Reel I made of Henry riding this and I don’t usually care about this stuff but I do feel like it IS VERY FUNNY and no one cared, lol poor me but seriously this was the best use of an NCT song:

We also rode Cyclops which was a fine smaller wooden coaster, actually not painful as I had anticipated, but there are no pictures because Henry is the worst Coaster Dad and sat on a bench with his back toward us the whole time instead of capturing our smiling faces on “film.”

Second to Hades360, I was most looking forward to Pegasus, which is the smallest coaster of the four BUT it has the notorious “yeet turn” as it comes onto the brake run.

I actually this was NOT  that bad of a ride?! Only because it was so odd. Like, it felt like it had legit corners. Such a weirdly engineered woodie! Chooch was like “That’s a no for me” but I honestly was pleasantly surprised when I didn’t walk away with contusions or at the very least, a bruised tailbone.

Where’s Henry.

Back to being a sullen teenager.

Henry actually came through and took a picture of us on Pegasus!

LOL, I tagged Mt Olympus and they liked it. Henry was not amused.

I was hoping they would have a good Hades shirt but no luck. I just got a magnet for my collection and that was fine. Also, by “Shops” at Mt. Olympus, they mean the same shop over and over again.

Weird family photo, in line for Zeus, part 2.

Tricked Chooch into smiling.

Henry wasn’t falling for it.

Also, Henry has to take his hat off on coasters and being hatless makes him look mean(er). I don’t like it. Maybe he needs bangs. That might soften his look.

I’ll suggest it.

I think we only spent about 3 hours there in total. We didn’t eat anything (Henry and Chooch both had Starbucks and complained about it and I was like, “THAT’S WHY I JUST SAY NO TO STARBUCKS.” God, follow my lead already. I didn’t even pee the whole time we were there so I can’t give you a bathroom review, but aside from that, I found Mt. Olympus to be a clean park and the staff was pretty personable. I wish that Hades at least was more than one train ops, but I thought the line still moved moderately fast. It must have broken down right around the time we left though because we waited for a good 10 minutes in the parking lot to get a video of it coming down the hill and into the tunnel, but then one finally came so we got the damn video and then left to check into our hotel. (A Super 8 but it was actually really decent?!)

If you’re interested in more Mt. Olympus content, Coaster Idiots has a really good and funny vlog about their day there last summer!

  2 Responses to “Mt. Olympus, Finally.”

  1. Maybe Henry should go back to the bandana! At least for roller coaster days

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