This will primarily just be a photo-dump because we are in the throes of college move-in day prep and I can’t focus, as evidenced by the myriad screenshots that Henry sent me of yesterday’s post with typos circled by him.

Thoughts on this:

• Total sadness that Henry is the one catching my typos. Henry. Let this sink in.
• Some of my typos weren’t even misspellings but actual bizarre syntax clusterfucks that I truly have no idea what part of my brain I was visiting to bring back these crazy-ass ESL souvenirs.
• Love that the emails that are sent out when I post include the entire post so that all of my mistakes can live on in perpetuity even if I fix them on the website. Not that many / any people read it but still, that makes me uncomfy. I think Henry fixed the settings finally after I have been lamenting this for the last 10 years.

Moving on.

I was pleasantly surprised at how expansive this section of the park was. A cute little walking trail that took you from one fairy tale house to the next.

This was me after a solid one minute of struggling to get on this stupid chair.

GOALS.

Some of the houses had characters waiting outside to give you HANDSTAMPS. We of course weren’t aware of this at the beginning and missed a few and I guess no one bothered to clue us in since we aren’t CHILDREN.

That, my friends, is discrimination.

This was the moment that Chooch realized that “crown” means “head” in this context.

“So…Jack literally broke…his HEAD?”

Nursery rhymes are so dark.

Chooch barely fit inside any of the houses.

I felt obligated to take this picture as Snow White told us the names of all her dwarves.

Lol.

Here’s the aforementioned Snow White after she LEFT HER POST and incoming children were screaming for her, lol.

Definitely not the best Humpty Dumpty.

“Where are all these kids getting suckers?” I asked for the 48th time, fixated on the promise of free candy.

(REMEMBER WHEN THAT WAS BROOKS ORPIK’S NICKNAME WHEN HE WAS A PGH PENGUIN???)

“I don’t know,” Chooch mumbled, never taking his eyes off his phone because he’s back in that Geocaching life. “Over by the pirate ship I think.

So then this happened:

 

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Literally, Henry had to yell at him to do it because he was sick of me crying over the fact that I never got a Dum Dum and he just wanted, at that point, me to have a Dum Dum in my mouth to quiet me.

YAY.

This was the grand finale, I guess. Some castle thing.

Chooch was in line to pull the sword out of the stone, but parents kept encouraging their brats to cut in front of him which was insulting. This was the only time all day where I was getting angry at the people around me.

ME TOO! (If you look closely, you can see the Dum Dum jutting out of my mouth haha.)

Well, that’s it for Idlewild. Maybe one day I will have a grandkid to take here, but otherwise, I can’t imagine we will ever go back. (UNLESS THEY GET AN RMC FAMILY COASTER???)

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