This new NCT Dream song has taken over my life. I am haunted. Renjun’s part in the beginning, the way he says “you” specifically, the fact that Haechan wrote these lyrics. All of these things paired with the DARK SYNTH OF MY YOUTH and I am down for the count.

Can someone please melt down Renjun’s voice and inject it into my heart, thank you. I think it’s the only thing that can heal me. I need to keep it in a flask.

Anyway, it was killing me over the weekend but I finally realized that this reminds me of a synthpop song that I was OBSESSED WITH when Henry and I first started dating and I was super into dark synth. That chime at the 1:15 mark goes right through me in the best “Bourbon in a cavity” type of way. Like when you are already so fucking depressed about something and you keep purposely listening to sad music to make it worse?? I know that’s not just me.

I found this on Spotify when we were driving to Cleveland on Saturday and it was suddenly winter 2002 again, whatever synthpop compilation this song was on playing on repeat in my CD player, and me laying on the floor crying.

You know, the uje.