Henry and I had a drinking lunch date on Saturday with Amy and Dick and I always look forward to these! This time it was at Penn Brewery and I was excited about it because we recently got that Penn Brewery Kennywood-inspired six-pack and actually enjoyed all 6 varieties in spite of Henry’s prior mutterings about “never having had a single good beer from Penn Brewery.”

It’s evidently the oldest brewery in the city. These are things I’m learning, lol. I have never been there before even though it seems to be a beloved Yinzer institution. I will definitely give it all of the points for aethestics alone – I love old shit and this made me feel like I was being all historical and whatever.

I guess this was the tunnel where they stored the beer back in the day?? That’s what Amy told us. She and Dick were there a few weeks ago to pick up some special collab that the brewery had with our SUPER GREAT local chocolatier, Sarris. (Seriously, I get that Europe has the supreme chocolate but it irritates me when the American chocolate being put up against Cadbury and the likes is always Hersheys and Nestle. SARRIS IS SO MUCH BETTER!!!!)

Anyway, they made a limited-run stout conditioned with Sarris’ peanut butter meltaways and it sold out so fast that they made more for Easter so Amy and Dick headed out and grabbed a whole case because so many of their friends (they live in Ohio) also wanted to try it. Henry ended up finding single cans at our local beer distributor so he brought one home and we HATED IT. Like, I took one sip and decided right there on the spot that I never wanted that swill in my mouth ever again. Henry ended up dumping the rest of the can because he hated it too.

I figured Amy and Dick might have enjoyed it because they are more stout-adventurous than us, but they scrunched up their faces and said they thought it was awful.

“Did you guys taste ANY peanut butter?” Amy asked.

“No, and not any chocolate, either!” I cried. I also saw that it got a ton of bad reviews on Untappd so that made me feel validated.

But back to our experience at the brewery itself:

Apart from it being really cozy and German-y, we were off to a bad start immediately when we walked through the door and a semi-surly server barely greeted us and told us to sit anywhere. I was hoping she was just the hostess, but then she came over to get our drink order and made me feel so uncomfortable right out of the gate. We asked if they do flights there and she was like, “Yes, I’ll bring you a flight card” and then Henry tried to get two more for Amy and Dick who had yet to arrive, but it somehow complicated the whole process and I could practically see fire in her eyes. She ended up just bringing us two cards and we were like, “That’s fine, thanks” then Amy and Dick had to jump through the same hoops once they arrived.

It was just as bad when she came back for our food order – she was actually turning her head away from us the whole time while we were quickly trying to decide and I wanted to be like, “WHY DON’T YOU JUST COME BACK THEN IF THIS IS SUCH A NUISANCE TO YOU??”

We were being so polite too, way more so than she deserved. She made me feel like I was in trouble every time she came to our table and honestly just made the whole vibe awkward and uncomfortable. I really hate complaining about these things and it takes a lot, really. I’m 99% always on the server’s side but this broad needed to just go home.

The beers were just a’ight. We all got the lemon shandy I think and all had the same exact review: dafuq, where’s the lemon tho?

I dunno how Dick & Amy felt about their food, but Henry and I were not impressed with ours. I got a veggie sandwich on a croissant and what was served to me looked like it was from a kids menu. I’ve had bigger and better croissants from 7-ELEVEN (and I’m talking about the crappy American 7-Elevens, even – not the superior ones in Asia). It basically had a floppy portabella slice, lettuce, and a tomato on it. It was so lackluster and I was still very hungry afterward. Luckily, I swapped the fries for a side a spaetzle and that was actually good, just not as good as my Pappap’s.

I did try one of Henry’s fries though and it was really good so I guess if I ever go back, it’s “order a bunch of sides” or starve.

One highlight (aside from hanging with my sister!) is that there was an advertisement on the table for the Kennywood six-pack. But alongside the picture of the 6-pack, there were EIGHT different cans!?!? I quickly ran through them and found the two that there were not included in our six-pack. Henry was going to ask the server and I was like, “Bitch, best just go straight to the bar with this inquiry, come on now.”

He came back to our table with an entire six-pack of one of the different varieties (this one has Phantom’s Revenge on the can!!!!) because it was the only way to buy it. The one we’re still missing is just – ugh – the lemon shandy with a different name but it’s THEMED TO THE DEFUNCT LE CACHOT AND I NEED THIS CAN!!! Henry went round and round trying to explain to the bartender that we specifically want the Kennywood cans and they kept trying to push the regular Penn Brewery lemon shandy six-pack on him. UGH!

But then one of the bartenders did mention that some had been shipped out to various distributors and Giant Eagle so we spent the rest of the weekend sporadically looking to no avail.

There is really something wrong with my phone’s camera – all of my photos look like ass lately (and not just the ones I’m in lol).

OMG why he is stalking around like this??

Anyway, just look at how amaze this can is (the beer was so-so):

Phantom’s Revenge is one of my ult-favorite coasters and not just because of Pgh Pride. It is legitimately a world-class coaster! GO READ MY MYRIAD BLOG POSTS ABOUT IT!

Anyway, after leaving Penn Brewery, I needed a hot coffee and sweet treat so we parted ways with Amy & Dick and went to the nearby Yinz Coffee, one of the few local chains I genuinely support. It was more crowded than I have ever seen it because it was Pride weekend and a ton of people had wandered in from other events. Normally, I’d be like, “HELL TO THE NAH” when I see a line, but the energy was so positive there because of the LGBTQ+ love that I decided to stick it out. Godspeed to that barista though – he was killing it alone behind the counter! I bestowed all of the kindness I had in my daily reserves onto him, since I was given no reason to use it at the brewery. I always have so much respect for people who can handle the stress and pressure of a non-stop work flow like that, and he was doing it with PANACHE and a smile on his face. We had a nice and quick chat (I’m sure he was relieved to hear that my order was a simple drip coffee with a splash of almond milk) and he said, “Tomorrow is the parade so it will just as crazy!”

It was one of those brief interactions that leave you feeling good because the person on the other end was pure vibes, you know? Love you, Yinz Coffee!

Henry and I also got two cookies to share so we took it to the nearby Uniondale Cemetery (the one where “Henry wrecked” the car, definitely not me) but yo, I couldn’t believe how cold it was. I think it was like 50 degrees that day but it was windy with no sun so we didn’t last long.

And that was Saturday!