My God-tier Pittsburgh brewery posted on their IG story a few weeks ago about an event they were hosting with Self-Reliant Seitan (a woman-owned purveyor of vegan deli meats). Basically, a small bites pairing with small pours of Lolev beers. I immediately showed Henry and said, “We’re going.” Not a question. Not seeking permission. Tickets purchased straight away.

So, that’s where we were this past Thursday and it was the best time. (Ignore Henry’s blank face here; he was probably still mad because my new thing when he tries to sass me is to say, “Calm down, Pam Bondi.” I was going to say ‘if the shoe fits’ but hers are probably custom-made for her devil hooves.)

The spread! Do you know how hard it was to sit with this in front of me, waiting for the first pour to arrive? It was extremely hard for me but apparently the lady next to us had even less will power because she devoured the whole plate before it even started. But my resistance paid off because it was really fun and interesting to taste how complementary each beer was with the bite it was paired with. I guess this is how all of the normal people felt all those years ago at the Bigelow Grille vegetarian dinner with East End Brewery beers while I was dramatically gagging and acting like my palate was being dissolved by acid.

LOOK HOW FAR BABY HAS COME.

Aside from Henry and me, there were 7 other people there, so it was a nice, small group and allowed us ample time to talk to Emily of Self-Reliant Seitan, and the host, Amani who I recognized from the other times we’ve gone to Lolev and it was so nice chatting with her! Not to brag but I feel like she came over to our table more than the others AND she gave us two extra pours at the end of the night; I felt like teacher’s pet!

And Emily was very sweet and informative – the seitan really sells itself once you taste it, but she me even more inspired to buy some before we left. She doesn’t have a brick-and-mortar store yet but sells at various farmers markets and pop-ups so I told her that we will for sure be seeking her out while Chooch is home for spring break because I know he would also love this and I would like to send him back to Philly with some food anyway so why not super delicious locally-made seitan by a woman-and-queer-owned business?! Love to support ventures like this.

LOL. He mumbled “thanks” when he glanced over and saw that I’m including this picture. Cry about it, P-Bondi.

OK, now let’s get into the beer and bites! I am going to tell you right now that I can’t choose a favorite bite – I was obsessed with all of them. But there was a clear winner with the beer.

First up, we had Edo – a Japanese rice lager, paired with a chicken cordon bleu bite. Bro, I could have done with a chicken cordon bleu plate-sized serving, but am grateful for the bite. It was freaking delicious – I asked the resident meat-eater here and he said that taste-wise, he could barely tell it wasn’t real, except for the texture. For me, having not eaten meat since 1996, I was actually nervous that I was eating real meat.

(Henry just said, “Obviously I liked her products, or I wouldn’t have bought any!” This is true – he was pretty gung-ho to buy some that night!)

Also, Henry was laughing because we got there early so we each got a half-pour to nurse while waiting and I was like, “UGH what if I ending up getting one of the 4 that are going to be served later?” and of course the beer I chose was literally the first one on the list for the night, lol. Good thing I liked it!

Kara and Chris ended up not being able to make it, so I zoomed in on their plates, sitting sadly on a counter. :( We missed them!

Next, Kamo II and a sausage & mustard cream pastry. I swapped out one of my halves for one on Henry’s plate that was bigger LOL. You know when you’re left wanting more, it’s freaking good. Henry said this one definitely tasted real to him.

THIS WAS MY FAVORITE BEER! Zeus, a sweet IPA thing. I liked every beer that night (because, Lolev) but this one seriously sent me. It’s what I want in an IPA. And this salami and cheese cracker thing made me want to have a get-together in the worst way because I’d love to wait for my friends to start chewing and then scream IT’S ALL VEGAN, BITCHES!

I’m a light-weight.

OK this was the show-stopper. The ultimate pairing – a wrapped stuffed date and Demeter, a maple bourbon-y barely wine that had me feeling like I could breathe fire. Strong AF and not something I could drink on its own on a normal day, but it legitimately was perfecto with this wrapped date. Such a smart duo!

Henry has referenced this wrapped date bite numerous times since then so I think it’s safe to say we know who he’s thinking about as I write this on this Valentine’s Day, lol.

Of course, we had to take a picture to send to Chooch who was like, “wow you’re so cool” lol.

Amani told us that she’s organizing a local Mexican chocolate and beer pairing next month so I will be on the lookout for that one too!

Also! When I was in the bathroom, there was a CALL TO ACTION poster in the stall because Iroh, the MATCHA LAGER, is no longer in production and there was a QR code to scan to help bring it back. I didn’t have my phone in there with me, so when I came back to the table, I asked Amani about it and she said she was the one who made that poster because she’s adamant about getting the brewers to bring it back! When we were there in October, the bartender said that it was seasonal and usually comes back around St. Patrick’s Day since it’s green, so I was really anticipating that happening this year since that beer seriously had me considering changing my name to Iroh, startin an Iroh cult, writing an Iroh manifesto. I was obsessed. Anyway, I will actually cry if it doesn’t come back, but Amani said she thinks she’s making progress and that hopefully it will be back in action for the chocolate event. PRAY FOR US, EVERYONE.

What a nice evening! Of course, I was just drunk enough to trauma-dump on Henry the whole way home but he’s used to it. I have a few drinks and start ranting about my family. Who doesn’t!?

Everything sucks but carving out time to do things like this is worth it. Otherwise, we’d have been sitting at home, fuming over Pam Bondi, the Epstein Files, ICE, and that fucking piece of rotten shit jackhammering our country to hell. Sorry, it’s just always heavy on my mind.

Anyway – if you live in or near Pittsburgh:

• go to Lolev and knock back a Zeus
• buy Self-Reliant Seitan, make a sandwich, and eat it while reading my blog lol

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