Originally, we had plans to meet up with our new BIGBANG VIP friend Michelle for breakfast, but it was very last minute (we had JUST met her the weekend before, for god’s sake) and she ended up having plans change for her last minute. I was sad but also I knew that it would have been extremely rushed because we would have needed to get to Douglass Park by 11AM. I’m hoping we find ourselves back in Chicago soon with more free time so that we can arrange a proper hangout and not force her to come out on a rainy Saturday morning.

Yes, it was raining. SIGH.

Henry ran out to the nearby Paris Baguette for coffee and breakfast pastries since our lame hotel did not have breakfast (complimentary or otherwise!) and then we set off for the parking lot.

It actually wasn’t raining that much at all by the time we set off for the mile walk to the park. Also, the line wasn’t long at all by the time we got there and the gates opened super soon after that so it was the best of the three days, entering-wise. Honestly, I can’t complain too much because if I remember correctly, we never had any issues or delays getting into the park for Riot Fest. They are EFFICIENT.

We had an hour of free time before the first band went on the Radical Stage (another pick from Henry) so we walked around and looked at the arcade.

They had ICP animatronics, complete with bottles of “Spaygo” lol. I honestly can’t believe ICP is still…a thing.

I only took this picture because some guy was also taking this same picture. We got the Riot Fest Sucks beer and the people working in there were SO NICE. Everyone at Riot Fest is always so nice!!! It’s the most small talk I have probably engaged in all year.

Also, Henry got his Riot Fest hat that he was looking for on Day 1 but “couldn’t find” because he never bothered to ask. I was glad for that saga to have finally ended because I was sick of hearing him cry about it.

My Untappd check-ins were so good while we were at Riot Fest lol. One of the Riot Fest security ladies was standing off to the side and she goes, “Or maybe with you sipping it…” but I was like “nah I just need the beer in this one!”

(As I’m writing this, I’m missing Riot Fest a lot. I didn’t think the magic would still be there but….it was.)

Dark Matter time!!

If you didn’t know this about me, Dark Matter IS MY FAVORITE COFFEE EVER.  I was first introduced to it at our very first Riot Fest in 2014 and have made a point of stopping by their mothership shop nearly every time we have been in town since then, and I love buying bags of it as gifts for friends, too. It’s just REALLY SOLID coffee.

One of the times we were at Riot Fest, I was telling one of the Dark Matter baristas at their booth that it had become one my most anticipated things about going to Riot Fest and they gave me a free t-shirt. I JUST LOVE THIS COMPANY.

You should go get yourself some, I swear you won’t be sorry.

I got the Bad Religion iced coffee and it was EXCEPTIONAL.

One of many obligatory selfies as if everyone isn’t sick of seeing us as it is.

Also, I was wearing my Sound of Animals Fighting shirt that has an umbrella on it but then it stopped raining before the bands even started playing so I was taking credit for reversing the curse. (FORESHADOWING.)

The first band we saw was Aim High, a pop punk band from Chicago. This was Henry’s recommendation and his streak continued because I LOVED THEM and immediately started following them on IG so I won’t miss them if they come to Pittsburgh. I can’t think of a better way to start the day than with a really solid and FUN pop punk band.

I had the best time watching them!

Henry’s Opinion: “Um, I liked them. I would see them again.”

Right after this, Henry wanted to go to the Riot Fest General Store to get aspirin. I started to walk over with him but then I heard the most angelic voice fluttering across the Douglass Park grass, backed by melodic metal. I stopped in my tracks and did the whole “HARK?” thing that I do when something is luring me into the act of imprinting.

“I’m…..going to go over there and see who this is,” I murmured to Henry, not waiting around for his response.

TURNS OUT IT WAS ASAVA KISSING MY EARDRUMS but I did not even check the schedule until afterward because I was so enthralled and couldn’t take my eyes off the stage. I kept making my further up until I was practically at barricade.

Henry managed to find me though — Henry can always find me. He said he figured I was in a zone so he stopped by another vendor to grab another beer first. WE WERE ON VACATION. Also, we share.

Um, but yeah–holy shit. And the way the singer kept gradually unbuttoning and removing layers until he was shirtless by the end and his girlfriend had to come out barreling out from side stage to throw her arms around him in a super possessive “HE’S TAKEN, LADIES” performative showdown. Henry was cracking up.

“I IMPRINTED ON THEM,” I cried to him after their set ended.

“Yeah, I figured,” he muttered.

Henry’s opinion: “Um, I don’t know, they weren’t bad. I guess. Probably won’t listen to them again.”

W O W.

On the second main stage right after this was Yard Act, post-punk from Leeds. It’s weird but I didn’t get a very post-punk vibe from them, though I did think they were alright. We were pretty much just killing time though.

Henry’s Opinion: “When you’re not mad at me, I’ll talk to you,” he said with a sigh and the reason I’m mad is because I was about to buy tickets to see Greet Death on Friday and I didn’t like his noncommittal response to it AND I’M SORRY IF I HAD A FRIEND TO ASK TO GO WITH ME, I WOULD DO SO but no one likes the shit I like HENRY. You are IT.

UGH.

Whatever, after this was the LEGENDS Melt Banana! Bro, IT WAS SO EXCITING TO SEE THEM LIVE! Melt Banana is a Japanese noise rock band  from the early 90s and now that I think back on it, how did I ever first hear of them?? I know it was late 90s. I was influenced by someone, I’m sure.

Henry’s Opinion: “They were interesting. They were good….live.”

(I think this means he won’t be listening to them while busting pallets of Everfresh juice with his careless pallet jack maneuvering.)

Yay, we had some time after Melt Banana and before Angine de Poitrine to get some lunch! We went to Meet Stop, which is a vegan catering company, and decided to go hog wild and split the sampler platter.

HOLY. FUCKING. SHIT.

It was insanely good and I am still talking about it. I talked about it on Tuesday on my call with my dietician and I talked about it yesterday with Wendy. First of all? The cheesesteak was to die for. It tasted just like a real one, I know I’m like 30+ years meatless at this point so what could my basis of comparison possibly be aside from the fact that carnivorous partner was tearing into it like it was shaved fresh from the spit. Henry is the ult judge for good vegan food.

But also—those nachos? What in the HELL was in that sauce?? Oh, it was so addictive. The collared greens? Actually delicious (those are hit or miss with me). The Mac & cheese tasted like real fucking cheese—I’m also picky with Mac & cheese. I HATE any version of it that tastes even remotely like Stouffers and also a lot of vegan Mac & cheese really miss the mark. But goddammit, this one actually tasted so thick and savory that it felt SINFUL.

Also, two “chicken” drumsticks which were also good and would have been the stars on a platter of vegan food from most other places, but everything was so god tier on this plate that I keep forgetting we even had them!!

Of course, Meet Stop doesn’t have a brick & mortar restaurant so who knows if we will ever get to indulge in this masterpiece platter again.

Then it was time for Angine de Poitrine! They’re a Canadian rock duo which, on paper, sounds boring. But then you see them…

I don’t have any of my own pictures for some reason (I did take a short video) but here is someone’s video from Riot Fest on YouTube – they were REALLY fun to watch and reminded me a bit of 1970s Euro horror instrumental soundtracks in a way – it’s that gonzo psychedelic sound like a more upbeat Goblin. Imagine a Gallo slasher rampage with all the bright fake blood and bouncing tits and this playing in the background.

Henry’s Opinion: “Uhhhhhh….they were fun to watch, but that was about it.”

OK CAPTAIN CRITICAL.

Immediately after this, we waded our way through the crowd and got a spot at the smaller main stage because Bright Eyes was about to come out. A man in front of me turned around, and you could see the desperate need to talk to a person practically oozing from him pores. “THEY’RE STOPPING EARLY TONIGHT BECAUSE OF STORMS!” he said, showing me Riot Fest’s update on his phone.

“WHAT??” I cried, looking up at the sky would looked FINE TO ME, SIR. But the statement said that in cooperation with the city of Chicago, they had agreed to shut it down early in anticipation of storms moving in later that night. A new schedule was posted (the one at the top of this post) and we could see that all of the headliners had been moved to earlier times so that it would end at 7.

AND BRIGHT EYES HAD BEEN MOVED TO THE LAST SPOT OF THE SMALL STAGE THAT NIGHT. I have NO idea why they didn’t just stay in their original spot—they were supposed to go on pretty much right then??? So instead, there left a big gap of nothingness on that stage and Public Image Ltd was forced to go one earlier than expected on the main stage.

And John Lydon (fka Johnny Rotten!) was PISSED.

He came out in a rage, putting Riot Fest on blast, complaining because none of their stuff was set up yet, and they had to play a truncated set. Plus, he was sick and blowing snotrockets all over the stage.

IT WAS EPIC.

Henry’s Opinion: “Um, I don’t know. They only played 3 songs so I can’t really form an opinion about them.”

Literally trying so hard to pull some actual opinions out of this guy, it’s a struggle.

NEXT WAS SUGAR!!! On the smaller main stage –  we were literally just ping-ponging back and forth between the two big stages most of the day. I was kind of heart-broken though because Thrice was playing during PIL and Sugar and I LOVE THRICE but I have also seen Thrice….way more than thrice (LOL I hate myself) and I had never seen PIL or Sugar AND I LOVE BOB MOULD. I have seen him solo but never with Sugar (I don’t think I have seen Husker Du but my concert memory is getting worse and worse which absolutely pains me).

I loved where we were standing for this — everyone was so chill and the view was perf.

In case you didn’t know, Henry and I have a super favorite song that happens to be a Bob Mould song so it’s always special to see him in any form.

Henry’s Opinion: “I don’t think I have ever listened to Sugar before. I mean, I have heard Bob Mould but—-” and then a bunch of word salad that not even the creamiest of Ranch can make better.

Some local weatherman that everyone seems to know and love made an appearance and I would have been scared if I was him because this was after the Great Shortening of the Band Sets.

VANA was about to play on the Radicals stage so we made our way over there and allowed ourselves to pop a squat for the first time that day.

I saw VANA for the first time last year opening for Honey Revenge and LOVED THEM so I was stoked to get to them again! Not stoked to be standing next to some lame ass bro and his bro-clan who yapped about how they’re Riot Fest pros and know the best spots to stand and then the main Bro was shouting into his watch VANA IS ABOUT TO START. VANA IS ABOUT TO START but he kept saying it like Vanna White instead of Vah-na. Go sit down, asshole.

So we moved closer to the stage.

I just love them. I love when a female singer can come out in a flouncy dress, giggle, and then gutturally scream her face off.

Henry’s opinion: “Um, VANA….VANA. Which one are they? If I can’t remember them then *HAS BIG KNEE SPASM AND CAUSES A SCENE; GIRL BUDDY IS AT THE WINDOW WATCHING LIKE WTF WAS THAT*….don’t write that part.”

We stopped for Gogol Bordello on our way to the main stage. I forgot how fun they are!

Henry’s opinion: “I DIDN’T SEE THEM ENOUGH TO KNOW! They sounded like something that would be fun.” Wow cry about it.

It might be true that we weren’t standing there long, but somehow “dance around the fire” was playing on repeat in my head for a solid week afterward.

Tool time!

We were super far back because the plan was to just watch half of their set and then walk over to watch Nas on the Rebel stage before heading out since all the headlining sets were supposed to end by 7 that night.

My all time favorite Tool song is Sober and I truly don’t give a shit if that is some basic white bitch shit. That cassette LIVED in my Eagle Talon in the late 90s and I would belt that song out while driving alone in the middle of the night, doing double the speed limit down River Road. This was a very specific time in my life and that song brings me back EVERY TIME.

I thought for sure I was going to miss it when we went over to Nas, but I looked at the set list later and saw that they didn’t perform it so that made me feel better!

Also, Maynard was recovering from hip surgery and was supposed to be resting but he told his doctor, “I gotta play Riot Fest, man.” Then Tool’s flight was delayed and when they got there, it was like, “Oh, btw, you guys are going on at 6 now, not 8, and you’re only playing for an hour.” So yeah, lots of annoyed bands (and fans) at Riot Fest that day.

Still, I’m happy that I got to hear some of their set. I love Maynard and all of his bands.

Henry’s opinion: “Mmmmm, not a big fan of Tool.”

Me: “REALLY????”

Henry: “Yeah.”

Learn something new (and dumb) about Henry every day I guess.

Henry says he does like “Sober” though.

He just said he’s not going to go out of his way to listen to it and if anything other than Sober comes on, he’ll turn it.

WOW???

He does like A Perfect Circle though.

Anyway, I took my Tool-hating husband over to the Rise Stage for Nas but the stage was dark. A big crowd was there but there was NO INDICATION that anyone was coming out. It was almost 7PM at that point, when Riot Fest was supposed to be ending due to ALLEGED STORMS, so people started to leave because it seemed pretty clear that Nas was NOT coming out.

I did think it was kind of odd that as we were walking down the street outside of Douglass Park, I could still hear Bad Religion playing on the Rebel Stage but OK….

We got back to the hotel around 8PM and it was POURING down rain but it never actually stormed. We ended up going into Chinatown, got some goods from a bakery, and then some boba at Oriental Tea:

Then we went back to the hotel and actually got some much-needed rest.

The next morning, I was looking at my phone and OH HO HO HO HO HO – Nas ended up coming out AFTER 7 and playing FOR A 90 MINUTES, essentially closing out Riot Fest, who determined that THE STORMS HAD PASSED OVER and decided to let Nas and Bad Religion play longer. But Tool was forced to end at 7 and most people LEFT BECAUSE RIOT FEST DID NOT ANNOUNCE THIS PUBLICLY.

Ugh, I’m annoyed but also not because it really did start POURING, like torrentially, and we would have had a long-ass walk back to the parking lot in that shit.

VIDEO RECAP OF DAY 3:

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