Apr 102011

Yesterday was a pretty nice day, so I cajoled Henry into going for a walk in the cemetery with me and Chooch. He was pretty equivocal about it at first, because even something as normal-sounding as a “walk” or “stroll” can lead to certain headaches, arguments and popo run-ins when I’m involved.


Nothing like a nice Jamaican Lager in the boneyard.

20110410-091102.jpgA view through Henry’s new glasses. At first they made him look like BTK, but they’ve grown on me. He’s at least halfway to aging scene king now.


I forgot about how INTO NATURE Henry can be. Within two minutes, he had pointed out deer, turkey and squirrels before turning his attention skyward in search of birds.

“LOOK, THERE IS A WOODPECKER, OMG!” he cried desperately at one point, and I had about ten year’s worth of cemetery-walk flash backs, most notably the unlimited minutes he spent schooling me about moss in ’04. Get a fucking life with your nature shit.

Inspecting a dumping ground for what I embarrassingly mistook for rocks but were really STONES (rookie mistake, really), Henry shook his head in disbelief and said to no one in particular, “I can’t believe they’d just dump those stones there. Those are EXPENSIVE stones. THEY ARE CUT STONE AND MARBLE!”

That is the sort of guy I’m dating, the one who knows the difference between a mere skipping pebble and EXPENSIVE STONES, yet it gets us nowhere.

Imagine your town molester, taking a break from copping feels to amble slowly through the park, hands clasped behind his back and smiling sweetly to himself while his unmarked white van idles sinisterly in front of the middle school down the street.

There, now you know what Outdoors Henry look like!


Henry must have been getting under Chooch’s skin as well, because I overheard him quietly cantillating at one point, “Zombies/Come kill my dad/He’s annoying me.”

20110410-091140.jpgMy favorite place in the whole wide world.

  6 Responses to “Cemetery Weather”

  1. srsly, your kid is freaking cute. he looks like a little bad ass in the last photo. as someone who lived near kansas city, the mention of the BTK killer makes me want to hide in a closet.

  2. I loved seeing the photos you tweeted about this walk. It’s nice finding fantastic impromptu shots. Btw, Ty knows the diff between rocks and stone of which I have been corrected many freaking times. Also, Chooch looks adorable in that skull tee but don’t tell him I said that adorable.

    I think my last comment was done through FB; that was my bad. I’m an idiot. Ok. I’m done now. God!

    • Ty and Henry should have their own show about rocks! And then Ty’s band could play the theme song — it would be so perfect!

      And no worries about the Facebook thing — it’s there to be used! I got your comment on that other post. :)

Choose Your Words Carefully

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.