#20: Obligatory Bathroom Mirror Snap.
I generally would never take a picture like this, let alone post one on the Internet because OMG full body! And also, I’m not actually a teenager (I know, right!?). But the whole point of doing this challenge is well, to challenge myself. I’ve been forcing myself out of my comfort zone and even took a picture of my profile (see further below), which I HATE. But you know, get over it, Erin, right? I mean, God help me if I ever get married (haha, laughs, jokes, frivolty)—how will I be able to stand having my photo taken? I can’t wear an animal mask for EVERY SINGLE POSE.
(I mean, I guess I could….)
Anyway, this was the bathroom at Amel’s and I liked it.
#21: My handsome new boyfriend and me.
So last Sunday, my crew and I were en route to the park where we almost all broke up with each other as a family, when Kaitlin texted me a photo of one of the clown head helium tank covers and said, “This is at Trader Jack’s right now.” Of course I made her go and find out the price and then I made Henry make a giant loop around the city so we could go back in the opposite direction and claim my new trophy. Henry reaallllllly disliked Kaitlin in that moment, I think. Haha.
My hair is so unwashed in this photo.
#22: Sorry, Bloods. I’m a Cripp today.
(I’m still really into apples, btw. Trying to actually get my first tattoo covered with a glorious apple. We’ll see.)
#23: Blanket Burrito.
It’s August outside, Antarctica in the office.
Ugh, I don’t know why this makes me so uncomfortable. I’m so weird about my photo. If you scroll through my Instagram prior to this challenge, you might see a few pictures of me but they are mostly me and Chooch together, because he’s my photographical security blanket. And then when I would feel brave enough to take photos of myself with the “good camera,” I always had to have a schtick: a Trix moustache. Heart lips. Frosting makeup.
Something that distracts (and detracts, even) from my face.
And I hate hate hate when someone else takes my picture. I guess I don’t really think I’m ugly, per se; I mean, I can walk down the street without getting called Rocky Dennis, but I’m not really what you would call conventionally pretty either. I feel that I have the kind of face that you really have to look at before maybe certain things fall into place and you might think, “OK, she’s alright”–this is on a good day– but then you have to be careful because if you look too long, it all starts to fall apart and you can really see that I just look like a turtle with a Jay Leno chin.
In other words, I don’t think Henry has to worry about Jonny Craig stealing me, haha.
#25: Busy Background.
I’ve been told, several times actually, that I look like a cartoon “in a good way,” whatever that means. I mean…OK? Joke’s on all those kawaii/Harajuku broads who have to go out of their way with wigs and strange makeup when I look animated naturally, I guess? Most of the time, I just don’t want anyone to look at me at all, so herein lies the real challenge of this 30 day thingie!
Also, I wish I could wear that shirt everyday for the rest of my life.
Yesterday, I couldn’t choose which photo looked least awful, so I photoshopped my runner-up in this empty picture frame. Using my phone. On the goddamn trolley. So, don’t judge the sloppiness of it!
MORAL: All of this is to say that I’m finally ready to stop blaming my insecurities on “that awful job” I had a decade ago, or “the weight I gained from having a baby” or “being constantly criticized by my family.” Fuck that. I’m too old to keep carrying around those excuses. It’s time to stop caring, so thank you, A Beautiful Mess, for holding my hand in some strange way and helping me take the first tiny baby steps to standing a little bit taller. (Even Henry said he kind of noticed a difference, and Henry typically doesn’t notice SHITTTTT.)
But really—four more pictures and I’m donezo, woooooo!!