Jan 042014
  • This isn’t really a resolution, but I decided that I want to try and fulfill some sort of book-reading quota this year like some of my more literate friends do, although I’m striving for a less-lofty number. Like, 30. Which would be a big increase from 2013’s whopping THREE BOOKS. And believe me, it’s not that I don’t like to read. I used to read tons. But I’ve fallen into that “I don’t have time” mindset which is bullshit because that’s what I used to say about exercising too, and now I make sure I carve out time every day for that. My other problem is that I have a hard time staying focused. It took me three weeks to read The Night Circus last month because I kept finding myself reading the same page like five times. Luminosity, here I come! (Or, Adderall if anyone has the hookup.)
    • I’m going to make an honest effort to update my Goodreads thingie diligently and not like, once every two years like I have been. I was scrolling through it the other night, looking for books that appealed to me, when I remembered that one of my friends is always insisting that we should read things that DON’T interest us as well, but you know what? I don’t fully agree with that. My time is valuable and I hate spending it on things I don’t give a shit about. The beauty of not being in school anymore is that we DON’T have to read shit we don’t want to read. Sure, sometimes it can turn out to be a happy accident; for example, I had to read “The Things They Carried” in an English Comp class at Pitt and I hated it for the entire first quarter of it, but then it ended up being pretty good and I didn’t hate it anymore. But where I am now in life, I just don’t have the patience to stick with a book if it doesn’t grab me at LEAST by page 50. Why sit down and force yourself to push through a book that is boring and just not your thing? No thanks, I want to read things that I can get lost in. So on that note, if you want to recommend some books that you think I might like and doesn’t read like a dildo manual and isn’t some dry piece of Brit Lit (because let’s face it, I’m no scholar), then please do!
  • My friend Tammy got me this ring for Christmas and I love it so much:


  • The other night in bed, Henry aggressively touched my Incision (from my C-section almost 8 years ago, and YES IT STILL EXISTS OK) and I flipped my shit. “That does NOT still hurt,” Henry patronized, because he’s a woman who has had a C-section and has obviously written e-books on it. I promised him that I can still feel pain there and he gave me this big lecture about how people were made to not remember pain and I yelled, “I REMEMBER EVERYTHING ABOUT MY PREGNANCY AND I CAN STILL FEEL IT. IT’S A GIFT!” Henry sighed and said, “You don’t have a gift.” “YOU’RE RIGHT—IT’S A CURSE!” I cried and he rolled over and went to sleep, mumbling something about how thank god I didn’t have a vaginal birth. I know, right? Sexless in the USA!
  • I got in a fight on Facebook a little while ago, I forgot to mention that, probably because the rage was so blinding at the time. Some girl was all upset because a substitute teacher called her kid’s friend a dum-dum and most of the comments on her status update were from men in her family telling her to stop being so fucking sensitive, blah blah blah. But it made me think about how I would feel if a teacher called my kid a dum-dum, so I commented and said that I was just wondering what the context was, because I know that I sometimes will jokingly chide my kid if he, say, does something clumsy. Like, I’ll give him a little noogie and call him a dummy, you know? WHO DOESN’T DO THAT?! But I went on to say that kids should feel safe around their teachers, so if this teacher was saying that in a berating context, then yes, I would be pissed and upset too. So this d-bag Yinzer asshole is all, “LOOK AT WHAT YOU JUST SAID. KIDS SHOULD FEEL SAFE AROUND THEIR TEACHERS BUT YOU CALL YOUR KID NAMES? SHOULDN’T THEY FEEL SAFE AROUND THEIR PARENTS TO [SIC]?!?!” and more words jumbled together in nonsensical strands, and this was after he commented and said that she was being ridiculous for being upset with the teacher because “dum-dum” isn’t a bad word, but now that I commented, he clearly changed his mind. I replied and reiterated that when I call my kid “names,” it’s in jest and it’s pretty clear that I’m not trying to insult his intelligence in anger. We have a pretty light-hearted relationship, in case you haven’t noticed. So then Yinzer continued to fight with me, insinuating that I was a shitty parent, and essentially saying the EXACT SAME THING I SAID IN MY ORIGINAL COMMENT about how it would depend on how and why the teacher was saying it, and I was like, “Are you fucking kidding me, THAT’S WHAT I SAID” but I guess it was too hard for him to understand that since it wasn’t written in the style of a Yinzer Hick Motherfucker full of typos and double negatives. God, I hate Facebook.
  • On a lighter note, here’s a picture of Henry eating a pretty donut:


  • Is there a list of worst TV characters of all time? Is Michelle Tanner on it?

Ciao for now!


  3 Responses to “Saturday Shortie”

  1. That ring fits you so well.

  2. That guy sounds like a grade A jackass. Facebook makes me so angry sometimes!

    Also I agree with you: I’m too old to force myself to read something “just because.” Just, no.

    • I really believe that some people sit around looking for people to fight with on the Internet! So pathetic. But this is also why I very rarely comment on people’s status updates on Facebook.

      One time I told someone who was having a bad day to “hang in there” and one of their friends lambasted me for it and why not just tell them to hang themselves? Lol.

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