Hi guys, it’s Friday and we’re en route to Michigan. Here’s a brief run-down of our Thursday:
After a night of really intense thunderstorms that had Chooch totally panicked, we ate crappy hotel breakfast with Miserable Henry.
“I wonder how long it will take before he quits talking to us altogether,” I mused out loud.
“I think that’s already happened,” Chooch answered, shoveling disgusting scrambled eggs into his mouth. Henry said they were made from a powder. So fucking disgusting.
Drove through “downtown” Logansport on our way to Monticello and I saw at least four men wearing overalls which made me miss the days when I used to wear overalls constantly so the first thing on my agenda when I get home is to buy some motherfucking overalls from the farmer store.
Except that they only had approximately five donuts left and a girl was standing there staring at us so Henry felt obligated at that point to buy two donuts even though he didn’t like any of the ones available. And then it was all, “Mommy HAD to stop here” for the next half hour.
Passed a tractor parade on the way to Indiana Beach in Monticello.
Spent most of the day melting our faces off at Indiana Beach, which is a pretty sad amusement park with some really great dark rides, wooden coasters and other assorted rides prone to getting stuck. We were only there for an hour before getting stuck on some mine ride, so that was wonderful.
I have a ton more to say about this but that will have to wait until I get home. You know me + words + amusement parks. No one ever wins when those blog posts roll out.
Left Indiana Beach and drove to Fort Wayne, where we ended up staying for the night in a Best Western “Executive Suite,” which made Chooch say, “Well done, Daddy. I’m impressed.” Poor kid.
Afterward, we drove through “downtown” Fort Wayne because there was some moving bread billboard that my Roadside America app kept insisting that I needed to see. As soon as we got into town, there were people RUNNING to some shared destination and we were like WTF, why is this dumb city so excited right now? And then we drive past their little baseball stadium which had music blaring from within so Henry googled and discovered that a Florida Georgia Line “concert” was happening, which explained why all the dorky-looking white people were racing in droves toward the music.
“That’s not nice,” Henry chastised me when I was in the middle of a roll making fun of country music. And then I remembered that he was a country music fan before I saved him.
(Just kidding, y’all. I don’t even really hate country music. NOT AS MUCH AS I HATE SKA, anyway.)
Then we were at a traffic light behind some car who was sitting through a green light. Some stoner kid was crossing the street and calmly shouted, “That’s a green light, bro” and then nodded a “You’re welcome” to us. I was really excited about this but Henry was like, “It wasn’t that funny” because if it’s not on Comedy Central, it’s not funny.
And now we’re on our way to meet my friends Michelle and Sarah for the first time ever and I’m nervously excited! And Henry just had a bitch-fit because he hasn’t been able to find his stupid jugs of iced tea anywhere in Ohio or Indiana. #bluecollarproblems
HAVE A GOOD FRIDAY, FRIENDS!