Oct 302014

A few weeks ago, Janna and I were in the car, talking about dementia and memory-loss in general, and I mentioned that one of the main reasons why I blog is because I am so goddamn scared of forgetting. I jokingly tweeted not too long ago that my #1 blogging tip is to blog like no one is reading, because probably no one is. But all joking aside, it’s true: I don’t blog because I want to be some creepy Internet celebrity and I certainly don’t expect anyone to give a shit about my life or what bands I’m currently into or what weird fruit I just ate. But some people do and I’m thankful for the friends I’ve made through my sloppily-typed words!

The point is that this is like a time capsule for me. So I do get stressed out occasionally when there is something that I want to blog about but haven’t found time and then before I know it, a month has passed and I find myself questioning if it’s even still worth it. The answer is yes. Memories are always worth it! Blah blah blah, you’ve read all of this before.

But the memory-aspect makes me think about Chooch. I know he might not see it this way right now, but someday, when he’s a grown-up, he might be happy that he guest-blogged on here about haunted houses or losing a raffle at the Hollywood Theater.

So lately, I have been trying to gently nudge him toward blogging here and there. I think in addition to helping him retain his memory, it also provides an outlet for him to constructively vent and express his opinion (which is what he did last night and then said he felt better after!), all while also being a valuable education tool. (Hello, spelling & stuff.) Chooch gets all huffy about it, and I don’t want to nag him like Henry nags me (oh god, even I couldn’t type that with a straight face), so I have found that a good way to go about this is promising to play Call of Duty: Ghosts with him.

He loves that game and I think it’s stupid.

I love blogging and he thinks it’s stupid.

So this is the trade-off: him asking me how to spell certain words and me asking him how to aim my fucking gun. Me playing Call of Duty is apparently so pathetic and hilarious, that Henry sometimes likes to sit there and watch as I murder the FUCK out of brick walls and the sky. Chooch likes to play “gun game,” which took me a long time to figure out means that you start with a shitty gun and then upgrade to better guns as you kill people. Except that it’s virtually impossible for me to get any kills with this gun because you have to get all up on your target and I can’t do that without getting a cap in my ass. So I sit there and bitch about it and then Henry will sometimes defend me by telling Chooch he’s being mean for making “making your mother play ‘gun game’l when everyone knows I suck too much to get a better gun.

Chooch thinks this is fucking hilarious and will laugh to the point of pants-pissing. And then he’ll say shit like, “I saw someone standing there and I got scared….then I realized it was just Mommy, HAHAHA” because I’m the furthest thing from a threat in this dumbass game. And then Chooch’s favorite part is the end where it shows everyone’s score and I’m always ranked last with zero kills and 618182 deaths (sometimes less if I can find a place to camp).

“It’s not my fault!” I cry. “What the fuck do you expect when I’m playing with Fisher Price: My First Gun?! It’s like goddamn Santa left it under the Xmas tree for me!” And then Chooch dies laughing but I’m really mad! He fucking cheats!

And then Henry yelled at me for saying I shot some guy in the dick and I was like “BUT I DID!” And he calmly said, “No. Another guy shot him. And then shot you.”

I am so awful at this game.

But then yesterday I was at work and I found myself THINKING ABOUT CALL OF DUTY. I really like the Mexican map with the pretty cemetery!

And then, the other night, Chooch asked me if he can just have his own blog.


  6 Responses to “Mutual Bribery, Backfired”

  1. Hey. I give a shit about what bands you’re listening to and what fruit you’re eating. ♥

    I really suck at shooting games like that. I used to try to play Halo and it just ended up with me running in circles, either looking/shooting straight down at my own feet or straight up into the sky. But give me a racing game and I’ll wreck that shit. You should get Burnout. It’s racing except you also get points for fucking shit up. So if you run into your opponents and give their car damage, you get bonus points. It’s so great. I should buy a Playstation so I can play it again!

  2. This is the exact same reason I blog. My entire life pre-LJ is a blurry dreamlike fog. It has been fantastically helpful to be able to go back and read past entries (repeatedly) to cement those memories in my head. Although I’ll admit I’ve been less eager to write new ones because it’s a teeny tiny bit discouraging having no one read them (literally no one — I don’t have nearly your following).

    Annnnd I too suck at shooting games. I bought an Xbox Kinect, which has astonishingly few games that let you actually point at the screen like you’re actually using a gun, which the Wii lets you do. I negatively reviewed a very popular title (Serious Sam, apparently a beloved cult classic) for this reason and got all sorts of negative votes. Boys just like mashing buttons, I guess. I like something more realistic. (LOL’ed at “Henry sometimes likes to sit there and watch as I murder the FUCK out of brick walls and the sky.” I can more often be found jogging in place determinedly against a wall.)

    • I don’t have a following. There might be 5-10 people who check in periodically and then the occasional person who stumbles upon my blog because they googled “Catholic bitch moms” or “Jonny Craig is an douchebag.” They’ll leave a shitty comment and then never come back, lol. When I thought there were a lot of people reading (like on LJ), I was really self-conscious with the way I wrote things. The less people that read, the more I can write with true honesty. I don’t play the number game anymore.

      Have you ever played Minecraft? I hate that one even more than shooting games!

      • My most popular search term is “Norman Reedus gay” ever since I wrote that review for Pawn Shop Chronicles.

        I’m resisting Minecraft (not that it takes much effort), World of Warcraft, anything that’s clearly highly addictive that sucks up huge swaths of your time. I ain’t got time for that!

  3. “The point is that this is like a time capsule for me. So I do get stressed out occasionally when there is something that I want to blog about but haven’t found time and then before I know it, a month has passed and I find myself questioning if it’s even still worth it.”

    Yes, I share your thoughts on this. I want to remember and don’t have enough time, and then the details slip away.

    I also find the same as you–since no one reads my stuff any more either, (In union we stand!) I am better able to be honest. I’m not as funny any more, but at least I’m telling the truth.

    Please do keep documenting. I love your writing still. Wow, has it been 10 years? Holy shit!

    • People abandoned my blog after I stopped writing about Christina, or my mom or my grandma. Because if you’re not constantly writing about how drama-filled and shitty your life is, no one cares! That’s what I learned, anyway.

      I know you can relate to this whole “MUST WRITE IT DOWN!” compulsion!

      I love your writing still, too. Especially the posts about music, and your travels, and your new crew! It’s so nice to be able to keep up with your life even when I live so far away. <3

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