May 202018

Might as well do this because I’m going to be bored waiting for BTS.

  • I just turned this on for BTS but now here I am with face-rain because of Kelly Clarkson saying fuck moments of silence. That was some real fucking shit right there. Thanks Kelly Clarkson for not giving us that thoughts and prayers bullshit.
  • Ariana Grande always looks the same. She can SANG tho.
  • LOL at Kelly Clarkson mentioning BTS and then trying to talk over all the animalistic screams.
  • sorry but I want to punch Taylor Swift in the face I don’t like her at all and she seems like such a backstabbing bitch.
  • I’m glad Cardi B didn’t win that best new artist award because Cardi B. Am I old? Or just tasteful?
  • 18 minutes in and I was inspired by nothing to bring up police brutality so now henry and I are arguing about that.
  • So far what I’m learning is that I haven’t missed much since the last time I listened to American pop radio.
  • But now I want a giant flamingo in my house. Thanks, Dua Lipa. By the way I recently learned that that’s her actual name and not some other language for “Two Lips” or something.
  • I appreciate that a song that’s mostly Spanish won an award in a country full of “SPEAK ENGLISH OR GTFO” motherfuckers. #hope
  • Me: “don’t you feel so proud of BTS?” Henry: “….I guess.”
  • Shawn Mendes (whom I really do like!) is performing in the middle of a bunch of lit-up white roses and I wonder if it reminds Bts of the LED roses at the DDP because it does for me. (Also, Shawn Mendes, you should stay away from Taylor Swift! She’s toxic.)

  • You fake, Tay Tay. Take your award and go home.
  • I didn’t know Ciara was still relevant. I used to LOVE her.
  • Khalid reminds me of a black Blake and now I’m arguing with Henry because he doesn’t see it BECAUSE HE DOESNT HAVE EYES. I’m currently worried that his pants are going to split. (Khalid’s not Blake’s.)
  • I don’t like that John Legend is wearing a white T-shirt under that cream-colored leather jacket. Look I watch a lot of kdramas and Kpop videos so I KNOW SOME THINGS ABOUT FASHION.
  • I love that the Chainsmokers hugged BTS on their way to the stage (THEY COLLAB’d ON BTS’S LAST ALBUM IF U DID NOT KNOW NOW U KNOW. I’M HERE FOR U.)
  • “This is really boring,” – Chooch during Christina Aguilera, who I’m not even going to trash-talk because my Taylor-disdain has used up all my negative energy. Demi Lovato is a queen though. “they have a backing track,” Henry just said because he’s a pro at that.
  • I never finished watching the second season of This Is Us. No spoilers please.
  • FUCK YES GET IT BTS. OUR BABIES. I couldn’t hear what Jimin said, JFC.
  • Ed Sheeran always looks a mess.

“How much more do I have to watch?”

  • I love NEYO! I remember one time back in the day I asked Christina “who do you think is better NEYO or Chris Brown the answer is NEYO but go ‘head.”
  • Can’t take DJ Khalid seriously not for one second.
  • Henry just came downstairs bitching because he could smell my burnt popcorn in the shower lol sorry I like my popcorn smoky.
  • now all the NRA rejects are gonna start with their JUST PLAY MUSIC AND LEAVE THE POLITICS OUT OF IT” bullshit. Thanks for being diligent with including gun control in tonight’s narrative, BBMAs. This performance is fucking touching. Henry wasn’t even watching. You know what that means. HENRY LIKES GUNS
  • guys I love Zedd so much, always have, please please please collab with BTS. (I still think it will be hard for to top “Clarity” with Foxes and “Stay the Night” with Hayley Williams. Those songs are tops for me.
  • hurry up Tay Tay act so surprised that you won Best Album. Fake ass.
  • Henry and Chooch both just thought that Bruno Mars called Janet Jackson autistic. Also Bruno Mars’ outfit is dumb.
  • Now Chooch and Henry are arguing over how old Janet Jackson is. Henry thought she was in her 40s but she’s HENRYS AGE (52). Chooch won.
  • they should let BTS dance with Janet.
  • Chooch waits until now to thrust his gifted school yearbook at me and I’m like really because there were like 11 hours today where I wasn’t watching the BBMAs where you could have had me look at this. Ugh kids amirite.
  • I was with Janet until she name-dropped God.
  • top country song and we all look at our phones.
  • OH FUCK THAT BODY LIKE A BACKROAD SONG. I almost broke my wrist one time being in such a hurry to turn this shit off the radio. I’ve ranted about this song on here before SO I WILL SPARE YOU THE REPRISE.
  • There should be classes that backup singers can take to teach them to look less cheesy. Maybe Phoenix or Devry can whip something up online?
  • Me: “This has to be almost over right?” Henry: “45 more mi—” Me: “Shut your face.”
  • Please don’t let BTS be last I just want to see their precious faces and swoon over their choreo.
  • that one blond backup singer of Kelly Clarkson’s can be the instructor of the backup singer anti-cheese course.
  • I wonder if BTS is out there thinking “aw these westerners look so cute when they try to dance.”
  • YOU GUYS IM CRYING. It’s unreal that BTS’s comeback stage was IN AMERICA at the BILLBOARD MUSIC AWARDS. This is so fucking huge. Kpop forever. But I guess I’ll just wait for their Korea comeback stages to actually see the choreo since NBC focused on the crowd 75% of the time because it’s important for America to see reactions.
  • Also at one point I mistook a cop siren outside for a girl screaming in the audience lol.
  • also part 2: when Jungkook pulled up his shirt and half the crowd had babies.
  • Also part 3 Kelly Clarkson putting on ear muffs before she announced them lol.
  • ok I don’t care about the rest of this. You’re dismissed.

ETA: the police siren I heard was apparently because something is going down at the halfway house* thing up the street. ALWAYS SOMETHING GOING ON HERE ON PIONEER.

*Chooch calls it the Problem House Lol.

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