I was so excited to be able to invite Corey and Janna over this year to TRIM TRUDY since we are all vaccinated and some of us are even boostered. Last year was very sad trimming that broad without an accompanying gathering. Sadly, Corey couldn’t make it because of a work Xmas party, but Janna came over and was OMG ON TIME! She even made a point of eschewing the standard salutations with a “NOTE THE TIME” demand instead. LOL, oh Janna.
Earlier that day, Henry and I went to Fresh Thyme to procure some “healthy”-ish snacks to go along with the Korean alcoholic bev collection (various flavored sojus and makgeollis, get on our K-level). While there, some guy who was around my age kept making INTENSE eye contact with me, the guy that can be decoded as “I KNOW YOU” and it was borderline uncomfy. I started to panic, like, “Did I have a one-night stand with this dude back in the day?” I mean, he kind of looked like my type?!?! I was actually afraid he was going to be waiting in the parking lot but he wasn’t. I kept trying to tell Henry about it but I was wearing a mask in the store and Henry is already hard of hearing and was basically completely unaware that any of this was happening.
“DIDN’T YOU SEE HOW LONG HE WAS ‘LOOKING AT MILK’ WHEN WE WERE IN THE VEGAN DAIRY SECTION??” I cried and Henry was like, “No…maybe…wait what are we talking about again?” and then I think Henry was actually sad that this guy didn’t kidnap me.
My eyes are so fantastico at the YOUNG AGE of 42 that I can barely even get my photos in focus these days.
Got to break out my SHINee soju glasses for the occasion!
This was probably one of the 87 times Chooch
asked told Janna to buy him Pokemon cards for Christmas.
“I think the gas mask year was my favorite,” Janna said dreamily, as we recounted all of the festive Yuletide transformations that Trudy has undergone. (Underwent? Undertaken? GONE THRU.) I think we care less and less each year though, ah, sweet complacency. I mean, I was all gung-ho about looking for a green tutu for her to wear this year so that we could also use that as a vehicle for hanging ornaments, but I got distracted about like, one google search and then forgot to go back and look. LOL. Oh, Christmas. Who cares.
I mean, look how exhausted we are after spending a whopping ten minutes wrapping a mannequin with garland. She doesn’t even need strung with lights anymore because Henry just leaves the lights on her year-round now.
Here are pictures of all of us post-TRUDY TRIM.
Then Chooch wanted to play a game but I said NO because I didn’t feel like it, yet somehow I ended up with Chooch’s phone pressed to my forehead, hysterically guessing things from the 1980s. Oh Heads Up, I hate your existence yet I can never walk away a challenge.
One of the categories is for songs but you have to hum or sing the song without giving away the song title. It was Chooch’s turn to guess and the song was “Hey There Delilah” by the Plain White Ts but I never liked that song and could literally only think of the Hey There Delilah line and had to keep humming it over and over and Janna was also trying to hum it because she couldn’t think of the words and then I was like, “JUST PASS IT YOU PROBABLY DON’T KNOW THIS SONG ANYWAY” so he passed it and then later when he looked at the ones he missed, he rage-cried, “HEY THERE DELILAH ARE YOU KIDDING ME WHY WOULDN’T I KNOW THAT???” and Janna and I defensively argued that we couldn’t think of any other lyrics.
“Like, who even knows the words to that song,” Janna said dismissively, to which Chooch screamed, “HEY THERE DELILAH?? WHAT’S IT LIKE IN NEW YORK CITY???? I’M A THOUSAND MILES AWAY???? BUT, GIRL, TONIGHT YOU LOOK SO PRETTY????” while the protruding vein in his forehead was barking an emphatic “Yeah!” after line, and then dropped the mic on his behalf.
“AND YOU COULDN’T HAVE EVEN HAD ME GUESS THE BAND’S NAME?!?! REALLY? PLAIN WHITE TS???”
He was um, very upset.
Blake made the long and arduous trek over from next door later that night after his gaggle of children went to bed, and the HEY THERE DELILAH party foul was brought back up again.
Immediately, Blake recounted the first four lines of the song too, with as much casual comfort as someone singing the happy birthday song. Janna and I just threw our arms up in defeat. (Honestly though I really hated that song so it’s not too shocking that I wouldn’t know the words.)
Whenever it was my turn and we were doing music, everyone’s first clue for nearly every singer was, “Oh you hate this person.” I hate so many pop singers that it was really hard for me to guess! Although it was mostly Katy Perry and Taylor Swift every time, except for the one time when it was Alecia Keys and Chooch ever-so-surely said, “You really hate this singer” and I was so confused because I do not hate her. I just have no feelings either way!
I was REALLY pissed because once when it was my turn, the answer was The Carpenters “We’ve Only Just Begun” but I only got the artist and not the song because Henry was being stupid with his humming capabilities and then afterward argued that I “wouldn’t have gotten it anyway” and I was like, “ARE YOU KIDDING ME ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS SAY THIS SONG IS IN MUSIC BOXES?!!?” Honestly, my grandma had like 8 different music boxes in her house that played that song.
One time when it was Henry’s turn, the word was SHOULDER PADS and Chooch got Henry to guess it by saying “it’s what mom called Drew and thought it was so hilarious* – Ursula’s…” and Henry immediately said “Oh. Shoulder pads.”
*It WAS hilarious!
Also, chooch wouldn’t do the pop culture category with us because it has “relevant trends” that we “wouldn’t know about.” I hate him.
My other favorite moment of the night was when Janna told me that one of the BITCHIEST teachers we had for Language Arts / Communications in middle school made her re-recite a poem from the very beginning after she mispronounced the word BOSOM LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL. This is my new favorite Janna thing! Apparently she pronounced it BOW-some LOLOLOLOL YESSSSSSSSS.
Well, Mary, I think that’s all for now. It was a nice night of snackin’ and Heads Up’in and somewhat house partyin’. And now Trudy is back to her festive dressings!