I just spent an hour fucking with the camcorder after PERFECTING THE DOUGGIE.

I mean, it was amazing how thug I was, how much SWAGGER I HAD. I even had on Henry’s jeans and shirt and a BANDANNA AROUND MY MOUTH and Alisha’s BIG SUNGLASSES and a hat.

“You look like a dyke,” Alisha said.

It took a good fifteen tries before Alisha (“Did I do it good this time, boss?

Durr de durr”) finally mastered the camcorder and by that time I was SWEATING. And my neighbors were pulling into the driveway and stopped to gawk through my open front door.

But I was FEELING IT. I’m all about the Douggie now.

TOO BAD IT DIDN’T RECORD AND I JUST QUIT OK, I QUIT.

And every little thing is setting me off. I freaked out and ranted to Alisha about how I hate contrary people and I’m ready to snap. But then Evonne showed up with a green tea frappucino thing from Starbucks and Zombie Squad marshmallow hand sanitizer, whatever that is, so I’m OK now. I’m good.

Although, the flesh on my shoulders hurt because when I was doing the “fly” part of the Douggie, I kept pinching myself.

Perhaps I will try it again later.