Kurt Travis time!

On the way there, I had made some outlandish statement about how I’d be fine “just sitting at the bar” during this show since I’m so far-removed from this scene now, etc. But then as Kurt and his band (Zac Garron was there as his guitarist!! Love him) were about to start, I said, “Byeeee!” to Henry and ran out to the floor, getting a cozy spot at the side of the stage. It’s a pull, you guys. Like magnets. I can’t fight it.

Dude, what can I say that I haven’t already said a thousand times over the years about Kurt Travis? This show really brought me back, man. He is so incredible! He could go on a “Kurt Travis Sings the Alphabet Song” tour and I would be waiting for the presale.

We had a good 30 minutes to wait before it was Anthony Green time so we people-watched and I guess chatted, what do Henry and I even chat about. He wasn’t even sitting next to me at our table, but catty-corner!

“Do you think Anthony’s going to be chaotic?” I asked Henry, trying to make CONVERSATION.

Henry just gave me the “now THAT’S a stupid question” smirk in response.

Then it was Anthony Green time! Dang, I am so so so far-removed from this scene but it still felt like no time had passed since I last saw him. I think it’s been quite a while since I last saw Circa Survive, but I’ve seen him with Saosin, LS Dunes, the Sounds of Animals Fighting, and solo myriad times in the last decade at least. I’m fairly positive that every time we’ve gone to Riot Fest, he’s been there in some capacity. (The last time we went in 2023, LS Dunes and Thursday were both there!)

I know I’ve written about it a million times on here, but Circa Survive SPECIFICALLY was such a big part of my life. Juturna got me through my pregnancy to the point where I wouldn’t be surprised if Chooch was partially triggered by the opening notes of any song on that album.

And the first time we saw Circa was the summer of 2005 at the Grog Shop in Cleveland, which was my first time there, actually! And I patiently stood outside that night with a bunch of fanboys, literally the only girl  there, waiting for my chance to tell Anthony how much he means to me and could he please sign my CD. I was wearing my mom’s old Jacki Sorenson aerobics shirt from 1984 – that is the ONE THING that is seared into my mind.

That, and the guy I was standing with telling me that Anthony literally stopped him from killing himself. He had told the guy to reach out to him if he needed to, and he took him up on that and Anthony talked him down. I will never ever forget that. Anthony has always been a genuine person, through all of his own demons and struggles he has always cared about the people who love his music and that comes across so strong at all of his shows. No matter which band he’s with.

So, hearing him sing his solo work on top of some Saosin and Circa that night was so cathartic. It definitely put me in a weird headspace, but overall, it was healing. A merging of my past and present, in a way – a reminder that I can still hold on to pieces, the healthy parts, of my old self without it stunting my personal growth. Does that make sense? Because it made me realize how far I’ve come since those old days of seeing Circa at the Grog Shop, Warped Tour, Mr. Smalls — still loving music with my whole stupid heart but also being so much more stable now. And it’s nice to be able to go into it without feeling SICK TO MY STOMACH like I would get back then, that hyper-nausea of preparing to see a band that made me feel like I had just cut my wrists because I loved them on such a psycho-emotional level. Now, I can just chill out with Henry and enjoy it for what it is, feeling the feelings without it crippling me.

I don’t know what started this exploration of my past (oh yeah, therapy lol) but it feels like it’s doing good things for me.

Then this happened and FML honestly lol:

IT’S A SURPRISE YOU HAVEN’T CAUGHT ON YET IT’S NOTHING PERSONAL YOU’RE AN EMBARRASSMENT.

Ugh, I used to cry and sing that part out loud while walking in the cemetery in 2005.

We lingered a bit after the show because I was hemming and hawing about getting Kurt to sign  the vinyl I bought, and also because we were 99.9% percent certain that one of our Sugar Spell Scoops friends was in attendance and we wanted to say hello to him.

Yo, why am I such a baby when faced when speaking to bands?? Literally Kurt was standing there totally unbothered and I was still so weird about asking him for a minute of his time?? I walked up  to him, holding the vinyl against my chest like a 1950s school girl clutching onto her poety notebook with dear life, and asked, “Hi, will you sign this?” in SUCH A FAKE BABY VOICE WHAT IS MY ISSUE.

He was happy to do so and while that was happening, I said, “I saw you in Pittsburgh 10 years ago exactly playing a house show at some kid’s house. You thought you were the oldest person there, but nope! It was me.”

I feel like HE REALLY LOOKED AT ME at this point, maybe trying to remember, and whether he did or not, who cares because he said, “Damn, if that was 10 years ago, then I’m even OLDER now! And look at us both, we’re still out here!”

I loved that sentiment because, yeah really! Look at us! In our mid-40s and out late on a Tuesday night for the sake of amazing music.

Kurt then gave me an abbreviated version of what he’s been up to personally, including buying a house in N.California with his girlfriend and dog. “It has 4 acres!” he said, and I was genuinely so happy for him, for getting himself to a good, safe and happy place. For still making music.

“I don’t think I’ll ever be able to stop making music,” he said after I told him I’m so glad that he’s still out there doing his thing. It was just a really good and super real moment. I already love his music so much, but this really added a special sheen to that.

We ended the night by chatting with our Sugar Spell friend (Mychael – I hate myself if that is spelled wrong) at the bar about the future of Pittsburgh vegan ice cream (please come back soon Sugar Spell!) and I was laughing because we all recognized each other earlier in the night but, seeing each other out of context of an ice cream shop and out in the wild really threw us all off. He said he had texted Amanda at one point like, “I really think it’s them!”

Anyway, he was at the bar with Zac Garron! I guess they are friends! I didn’t want to be a creep and ask, lol.

I didn’t talk to Zac because he was mid-convo with another couple but what a small world.

Yeah, so that was a super action-packed night! I felt like my social battery was crazy-depleted as we walked through the parking lot but it was so worth it, even getting home way past my bedtime and being embarrassingly hung over the next day – AND I HAD A VIDEO CALL. Oh well.

_____________________

On the way home, I was musing about the night. “I can’t believe I’m at the age where musicians I have loved for years are now talking to me about how much acreage they have.”

Sigh.

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