I was dumb-excited to go to downtown Waterloo for dinner because ever since Chooch made me do that stupid morning radio show trivia game with him ON AIR, and the answer to the last question was Waterloo, I always laugh anytime it comes up in general conversation.

Chooch was the one who found the restaurant we’d be eating at that night and it was so nice to not drive around looking for something while arguing.

Newton’s Paradise Cafe!

It was just us, and two other tables of diners there that evening. It was perfectly chill. If you ignore the fact that after we arrived, some bell was dinging for about 5 minutes until the server finally came out from the back, and that was still less annoying to me than our experience at MULLETS the night before. Just in case you were wondering.

The face of someone who has been forced to spend too much time with me.

I announced that I was getting the portabella sandwich as soon as I had a menu in my paws. Then several minutes later, Henry said, “They have a portabella sandwich.” I yelled, “I know!” and Chooch said, “I don’t even listen to her and I still knew that’s what she was getting.”

BUT JOKE’S ON ME because they were OUT OF IT. The amount of times this happens to me is unbelievable! THREE TIMES on this trip alone! I’m the Schleprock of Restaurant Ordering.

It’s OK. I went back to my original choice of veggie wrap and remained in a decent mood. Somehow.

I mean, I had to sit next to Henry while he masticated a country fried steak like there was a time limit.

BUT YO. YOOOoooooOOOOooo. Can we talk about the coleslaw? IT HAD PESTO IN IT. It was so delicious. It dried my portabella tears right up.

Meanwhile, some guy and his little boy came in and sat several booths away from us. I don’t know what the kid said to our server but she was GENUINELY cracking up loudly and my FOMO was crowning.

“It couldn’t have been THAT funny,” I mumbled into my ‘slaw.

Anyway, it was a decent dinner, no complaints.

After dinner, I made the idiots walk with me down the street because I wanted to see the RIVER. It was SCARY!! “I’d say it’s a little bit flooded,” Henry said, probably thinking he was so funny and wishing his mom was there to clap for him.

Genuinely terrifying.

Some bitches.

Henry had been talking about how we were going to be driving past THE BIGGEST TRUCK STOP IN THE WORLD like, ever since we set off on this journey. And….then he proceeded to drive right past it?? I screamed at him about it so he had to get off the next exit and drive all the way back. I wanted a fucking Iowa magnet!! I hadn’t found a good one the whole time we were in that corny state.

You guys, it turns out that this is really only incredible if you’re a TRUCKER. Hence – TRUCKSTOP. This is not a really good gas station – it has some stuff for civilians but it’s mostly a big deal for TRUCKERS looking TRUCK ACCOUTREMENTS.

There was a lot of fast food options in there though and also a restaurant full of truckers.

We lost Chooch in this section for some reason. It was the most boring section of the whole store and I hated it.

LOL. The one Iowa photo zone I found in the entire state basically.

See? It’s just dumb shit. But they did have some nice magnets at least. So I got some. Because it was still technically my birthday and THAT’S WHAT I WANTED.

We made it to Illinois a little after 10PM – we changed our plans and instead of going home through Wisconsin to get that one coaster cred, Henry was like, “OR! What if we just go to Indiana Beach” and I was amenable to that because they have two “new” coasters since we were last there and honestly, we were only going to Wisconsin so that Chooch could visit one of his Mexico crew but then she wasn’t going to be there anyway and to be quite honest you guys, we were all just trying to take the fastest route home by then. I was tired and wanted to see Penelope.

Indiana Beach post upcoming!

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