VALENTINE’S EVE

OMG you will never believe this. Last month, I saw an ad for Romero & Juliet, a Yinzer zombie spin on Romeo & Juliet SET IN 1985 at the Cabaret, so I sent the ticket link to Henry said, “I want to see this” AND HE GOT US TICKETS WITHOUT EVEN KNOWING WHAT IT WAS. He literally asked me the day before, “What is this thing that we’re going to again?” Love that.

I had thought this whole time that this was going to be on Saturday, but it was actually Friday night! So that was annoying, trying to get logged off of work in time to get ready, etc. Of course, right at the end of the time, I got a call from a managing partner who was at the airport about to board a plane and needed me to walk him through engagement letter changes – luckily, he was super nice but it was still moderately stressful because I needed to GO! Then, I didn’t like what I was originally going to wear anymore, and that turned into a clothes-flinging fit of rage in the bedroom.

So then I was like I AM NOT GOING but then stomped downstairs in a back-up outfit and said FINE I WILL GO and then we got downtown and parked and I noticed Henry looking like, you know, Henry, even though this was supposed to be a nice evening out so I took out my own insecurities on him and yelled, “WHY COULDN’T YOU HAVE AT LEAST WORN A SWEATER” and he was like, “I AM wearing a sweater” and I cried. “THAT IS A HENLEY!!!”

Anyway, tl;dr but in the end I was like, “Jesus Christ, can you at least take off your hat??” so he did and then we went inside and it was fine because you know these types of things – some people dress nicely and some wear literal stocking caps like one old man sitting at the drink rail.

Once we got to our table and I had a glass of wine in my paws, I was OK. I think this is mostly just my day job stress making me vomit vitriol at everyone around me and that’s not great. But then I started noticing that everyone seated around us were either there together, like one giant family, or just randomly knew each. Until it started to get really ridiculous as more and more people arrived, exclaiming, “OH HI MARY! HEY CLIFF!” And there were children too, all milling about, greeting people. At first it was annoying because I was still moderately on edge and everything was annoying – like when the parking garage elevator door shut on me because of course it did when there other people getting on the elevator and some lady was like OMG ARE YOU OK instead of just ignoring it like I hoped everyone would, and this also right when I was on the verge on starting a fight with Henry re: the aforementioned fashion fail.

As more and more people filed in to the uproarious salutations from those around us, I started to consider the fact that we were getting punked. Were we accidentally crashing a family reunion at the good ol’ rootin’ tootin’ Cabaret? It got even more stupid when our seat mates in the banquette arrived –  two men who ALSO KNEW THOSE PEOPLE. So now, we were boxed into our banquette by a horde of – not zombies – but strangers who were genuinely amped to see the guys sharing our little booth.

When I finally had the chance to interrupt, I leaned over Henry’s lumbering non-sweatered form and asked the guys in our booth, “Do you guys all work together or something?”

They both chuckled amicably and confirmed, so I laughed too and said, “I was going to say, I feel like an outlier!”

One of the guys goes, “Don’t worry, we’re the outcasts there so you’re sitting at the right table!”

I never found out where they worked, but the guys sitting with us are from Murrysville, which is about 30-40 minutes outside of Pittsburgh. One of them (plus one of the ladies who seemed to be the organizer of the event for their company) has a farm with cows.  They told me it was their first time coming to the city in 12 years. “We never do anything like this!”

Bruh, we live like 5 minutes outside of downtown and also never do anything like this – together, anyway!

“I didn’t even know what to wear,” one of them said, and Henry looked so smug. Fuck off, Henry-in-the-Henley.

I was so intrigued. I should have switched seats with Henry so I could have continued the conversation easily. Somehow Henry picked up that they were brothers. There was a couple in the next banquette down who were all over each other before the thing even started that I am positive there was finger-banging action, and they actually never returned after intermission so my guess is that they either busted fucking in the bathroom or they left to get a room. I mean, everyone knows how Romeo and Juliet ends, regardless of zombies, lol.

Anyway, I just wanted to include all of that because I wound up thinking that whole group was super cute and it made me wish our department did stuff like that. They were nearly as entertaining to observe as the actual show! Especially their co-worker who wore a giant suit because he didn’t what else to wear, and the guys at our booth were making fun of him to his face which made me know for certain that I would easily fit in at this place.

Henry got this East End IPA and I genuinely liked it but was trying to stick to just a glass of wine (I kept stealing sips though ugh).

We weren’t fighting anymore, btw lol. I started laughing in the parking garage stairwell on the way back down to the cabaret after making him take his hat off and he was like, “You are seriously so lucky.” Lucky that what, I’m so freaking adorable and consistently get away with being a shitty little cunt??

Because that’s true.

I kept taking pictures of Henry to send to Chooch, who was thrilled to receive them, I’ll bet.

Henry’s head is so dumb.

Anyway! The show! It was adorable, clever, funny, Yinzer-y, high key political (there was a scene with zombie hunting gestapo-types with machine guns and I whispered, “UGH, ICE!!!!” – felt very relevant, if you know what I mean). My favorite character was the zombie Punx who Juliet was supposed to be beholden to. I knew from the opening number, before he even had a speaking part (I loooved the zombie speak btw) that he was going to be my favorite. I even pointed him out to Henry and drunkenly whisper-slurred, “He’s my favorite; that’s my new Vladimir right there.”

And then he had a solo number and I fucking died. It was hilarious. Incredible. #Obsessed.

Also, Dana from The Pitt should shadow the guy who played Romero’s dad because his Pittsburgh accent was legit.

Ew:

• Henry’s face
• the fact that I recently updated my stupid phone and now my camera is all jacked up
• some city street attendant guy was in the lobby and insisted on taking a picture for us and made us pose this way which was a choice. Appreciated his volunteering though!

So, it ended up being a really nice night and I feel shitty about nearly sabotaging it. I did apologize to Henry, DON’T WORRY, HENRY STANS. Step off!

ACTUAL VALENTINE’S DAY

Penelope cuddles, first and foremost!

Then Henry gifted me with a box of Misaky, the Japanese gem candy! I’ve been wanting to try these.

They were interesting and mostly good but I would never purchase them again, lol.

It was in the 50s that day!!! So we went to Pink Box for some Asian buns and then ate them while strolling through the cemetery, where I spent a large portion of the time getting spammed with texts from Chooch, who went to see Wuthering Heights the night before and HAD THOUGHTS lol. I can’t remember if I mentioned this, but I bought him the AMC A-list membership and he has been getting way more than my money’s worth. He was really glad that he didn’t have to pay to see this one, but admitted that the soundtrack was amazing and was excited to tell me that I would probably cry. He said it ended with a black screen and he could hear people around him sniffling and crying and thought, “Yeah, that would be her.” Lol.

He mentioned that he was going to see Project Hail Mary when it comes out and asked me if I had read it since all I do is read. I actually have NOT – it’s been on my TBR for years but I haven’t actually gotten it from the library yet. He suddenly decided that he needed to read it THAT DAY but was mad because none of the local libraries had copies available. I told him to just go to the nearest book store and we’d put money in his account to buy it, because:

• Valentine’s Day
• OMG HE WANTS TO READ A BOOK

Henry was like, “*FROWN*” because that’s all we do is give him money but I was not backing down on this one. So, he walked to the book store, bought it, finished it today and ACTUALLY REVIEWED IT ON GOODREADS. He said it’s automatically one of his favorite books and he is going to see the movie in IMAX, lol. He cares about things like Dolby and IMAX where I’m just like, “Eh, see if we can just watch it at home…”

But speaking of!

Later that night, Henry and I went to the Hollywood to see Best In Show, as part of the Catherine O’Hara retrospective they’re hosting.

It was in the small basement theater, and it was our first time down there since the theater reopened. In its old state, the basement was a large empty space with bathrooms. Now it’s a whole VIBE.

This is the hallway to the theater room and the bar which has not officially opened yet.

And the small, intimate screening room.

It was nearly sold out and that’s great for the theater but bad for my EARS – the close-range popcorn mastication, the louder-than-they-needed-to-be conversations being spat at the back of my head, the women behind me who kept kicking my seat like we were on a fucking airplane, the lady who laughed SO THEATRICALLY at every other line, sometimes even when the scene was changing and nothing was happening yet, she’d still be LAUGHING, every last note of her raucous guffaws lingering in the air before floating under my skin. I mean it was to the point where I was wondering if she was a plant.

Henry usually doesn’t get bothered by People Being People In Public like I do, but even he was like, “JFC” about The Laugh and the Seat Kickers.

“Oh, they were kicking your seat too? I was like HOW LONG ARE THEIR LEGS??” Henry exclaimed on the walk home.

LOL.

Otherwise, great night though. Great movie.

VALENTINE SUNDAY

Sunday was pretty gloomy – the sky was Pittsburgh Gray and damp. But! It was still a great day because I had brunch with Sandy and Nate at Margeaux! I hadn’t seen Sandy since over the summer because I had to bail on the last brunch last fall due to me having a panic attack that morning, what else is new.

I want to state for the record that the people behind the counter made me feel so welcome and also kind of popular when I arrived because I was being TOTALLY ERIN by whirling up to the counter in a wind tunnel of nervous energy, and asking, “I HAVE TWO OTHER PEOPLE COMING IS IT OK TO SIT AT THAT TABLE?” The barista was like, “OMG yes, please!” and I felt like she giving psychic head pats with her soothing tone. Immediately calmer!

(But seriously, none of us had ever been there before and some places are assholes when it comes to taking a table before your full party arrives, looking at you PAMELA’S.)

I did order a latte though so the optics were better. I wanted to maple cinnamon latte but she was like, “Oh we actually don’t have that one now – we have *jhsdkjjdalsfj;lf*” Literally, a commotion bomb went off at the exact moment she said what the special was and I had ordering anxiety so I just said, “That’s fine, with oatmilk please.”

“I’ll bring it out to you – I know where you’re sitting!” she said super jovially like I WAS A REGULAR and I was super big-headed over this. I told Nate this when he arrived and he goes, “Well, to be fair, it’s not really that big in here.”

UGH!

Then another barista brought the latte over to me and said, “Pecan spice latte” as she set it down.

“Oh good, now I know what I ordered!” I said to Nate.

Once Sandy arrived, we all went back up to order our food. I will say this: not a place to go when you’re really hungry / meeting friends for brunch and plan to stay awhile because the portions are SMALL. The plates are TINY. We were done eating within minutes. Nate got a breakfast sandwich and it was child-sized.

My avocado toast was great but I was still hungry after it. Sandy was also still hungry. “I was going to order something in addition to the toast but she told me one item would be enough!” Sandy said incredulously. Sorry, we’re GenX and we want real meals!

So, Nate went back up and ordered two plates of the liege waffles for us to share and that was actually the move because not only were they delectable, but after eating one, my hunger was fully sated and I was quickly entering “stuffed” territory.

But we all agreed that it was a nice place, just now we know to order two things in order to build a full meal, lol.

Oh and don’t worry, in case you thought I was off my Dana’s Accent shit, Sandy and I commiserated in our mutual annoyance.

“Yeah and then we just found out in the lash episode that she’s from Bloomfield, so not even a transplant!” Sandy cried, before launching in her disbelief that not only has one character been stressing over the deposition she has to give that day (THE FOURTH OF JULY?!), never would there be a 4th of July parade in MILLVALE involving motorcycle stunts.

C’mon, The Pitt. Do better. N’at. (Ugh I would never actually say that, btw.)

That was pretty much the main thing that happened on Sunday. The rest of the day was for relaxing, book-reading, and then Henry and I watched “If I Had Legs, I’d Kick You” which was…interesting. I actually don’t know if I liked it or not, but Rose Byrne gave me big anxiety with her performance so that’s something.

Buhbye!