Jul 5

Smorgasbord: Thursday Tweets & Chooch Stuff

Category: chooch,tweets

Urgent. Will die without reading.

  • 15:42 ITS JUST RAIN! DRIVE, YOU FUCKSTICKS. Where’s the shotgun when I need it. #
  • 16:51 when it’s raining, the only styling I should do to my hair is covering it with a bag. #
  • 17:09 Kim just bought me a vegetable roll bc I have no cash. My translation: she’s going to miss being my boss. #
  • 19:03 Wish I had thought to steal Ian Curtis’s gravestone. #
  • 22:30 My boss burnt her popcorn and now i’m reaping the rewards. #
  • 12:43 Henry said I’ve become a little more tolerable. Whatever that means. #

Automatically shipped by LoudTwitter Now you can rest easy, knowing my inner most thoughts and movements.

Henry says that Chooch looks like the spitting image of me in this picture, which I can’t really deny as I can generally be found mid-whine as well.

Lately, Chooch has been into treating us with quite the histrionic performances. He’ll launch himself into full-body agita, make a sad little ‘o’ with his angry lips, and channel all the drama greats to achieve the most believable cry of desperation. After a minute or two or being ignored, he’ll rub his eyes, and in a cheerful baby-voice, he’ll declare, "I cryin’!"

And then he’ll laugh.

That’s the best case scenario. Worst case is that he turns into a tornado and starts kicking furniture and swiping things off the coffee table like a human wrecking ball. Then Henry will ask, in mock wonderment, "Wow, I wonder where he learned that?" and then shoot a paralyzing glare at my head.

The other day, Chooch and I were in my bedroom. He was at the foot of my bed when he started exclaiming "Kids!"  He was pointing into his bedroom. "Kids, kids, kids!"

I didn’t know what he could have been looking at that had kids on it, so I said, "No, Chooch. No kids."

Frustrated, he got up and ran into his room, where he pointed at the center of the floor and declared, "KIDS. Hahaha, kids!" At this point, I’m standing in the doorway of his room, heartrate accelerated, praying that some ghost child isn’t going to bite my ankle and shove a crucifix in my crotch.

Chooch was still standing there, pointing, looking all excited to have found invisible children in his room. I was afraid that if I entered the room, the door would slam and lock behind me and blood would start pouring from the walls like a waterfall from Hell, so I tugged him on the arm and said, "Hey, let’s go downstairs now, hooray."

I had just watched The Orphanage two days prior to this. Bad timing, Chooch.


11 Comments so far

  1. grrgoyl July 5th, 2008 10:19 am

    Yeesh. Tomas! Did you like the movie? I loved that movie.

  2. Tuna Tar-Tart July 5th, 2008 11:30 am

    I loved it! I didn’t expect it to be so fucking sad though!

    Have you seen ‘Otis’?

  3. grrgoyl July 5th, 2008 11:33 am

    No, but you’re the second person to mention it to me this week. Would you recommend it?

  4. Tuna Tar-Tart July 5th, 2008 12:02 pm

    I loved it! It’s my new favorite horror movie, and there were a few scenes that made me laugh out loud. Illeana Douglas is awesome in it!

  5. grrgoyl July 5th, 2008 12:17 pm

    I have added it to my queue : ) Looks interesting, and I love Illeana.

  6. Bueno Mexicana July 5th, 2008 11:05 am

    that picture and face are PRICELESS!!!!!

    chooch is such a little punk and i love it. i have a feeling you’ve not only met- but created your match.

  7. Tuna Tar-Tart July 7th, 2008 10:04 am

    He’s conniving!

  8. YummyDeb July 6th, 2008 3:23 am

    HAA! I love that photo!! I feel like that sometimes, too!

    I’m still here reading, by the way, just don’t usually comment but *always* enjoying. Especially when it involves ghost children and Chooch photos and work mania (sorry to hear/read about the night shift ending, that sucks) and, well, just everything you write about. I just don’t usually take the extra click to get *here* because I’m a lazy shit :-).

  9. Tuna Tar-Tart July 7th, 2008 10:06 am

    I love you, Deb! It’s all good. I still read everyone’s LJ faithfully, but hardly ever get the chance to comment. Every time I start to leave one, I get interrupted, then forget to go back!

    I’ve really been enjoying reading about your new marriage-y adventures!

  10. Alyson Hell July 7th, 2008 7:44 am

    I admit it. I see a resemblance to that one picture of you crying in the tree from years ago.

    Sadie does the same thing–announces her crying while she’s all dramatic about it. I cannot help but laugh.

  11. Tuna Tar-Tart July 7th, 2008 10:07 am

    Oh god, that damn tree picture! Definitely not one of my finer moments, lol!

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