Nov 8 2011
Blog Birthday Guest Post: Andrea Up In Here!
I met Andrea through an Etsy street team, but I always thanked my blog for luring her in. I use it as a friend-capturing device to make people believe that I am really this cool broad from Pittsburgh and then by the time they realize that I’m pretty boring and average, if not wildly whiny and ditzy, in real life, IT’S TOO LATE. THEY’RE ALREADY IN MY WEB. I AM FEEDING FROM THEIR STOMACH CAVITIES RIGHT NOW.
Anyhow, Andrea has been such a big cheerleader for my blog and whenever I get down about it, she gives me a good dose of Tough Love; a kick in the ass via text message; and sometimes, if I’m lucky, a care package of new My Pretty Zombie eyeshadow colors and gummy body parts. Being able to call her a friend is one of the best things that came from this blog.
She has been supremely busy out there in California, yet still made time to dig through for some of her favorites. Thank you, Andrea! (Everyone thank her! God!)
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Andrea’s favorite Chooch story.
According to Andrea, this is a good cross-section of my BRILLIANCE, you guys. Take that, absentee SAT-score.
“That one where you almost hooked up with that Chucky guy,” I believe is how Andrea referred to this one.
Fun fact: the actor who played Andy in Child’s Play actually found this blog post and we’re now Facebook friends because of it. Even though I was practically sexually harassing him via the Internet. Good to know I can get away with that shit.
4. How Not to Talk to Strangers In a Cemetery
5. Bullying, Chooch and Mommy-style
This is Andrea’s favorite one of all time. I could write a post that would lead to me befriending Lil’ Wayne in real life, which would then lead to me setting him up with her on a blind date and that would inevitably lead to a marriage full of shiny gold grills, facial tattoos and gratuitous jock spritzing and she would still say, “No, the one about you and Chooch being assholes is still my favorite.”
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And don’t forget to come back at the end of the week to sign up for the Oh Honestly, Erin giveaway, which will include 5 full-size jars of My Pretty Zombie eyeshadow and one blush (your choice of colors)! If you’re a dude, you should still go for it. I’ll have a painting and a set of my zombie notecards in the mix too, plus other stuff which I have yet to decide. Besides, you might look nice with some lavender lids.
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I forgot that McDonald’s story!!! Totally an excellent choice. When I took Chooch to McDonald’s over the summer (the day he ditched you and Henry after the reptile show), I was oh so glad he’s outgrown that get naked thing lol.
Love Andrea’s other favorites too!
Could you feed some more from my stomach cavity, please?
And then market that weight loss plan?
kthnxbye
I can’t believe you tell everyone about me and lil Wayne.
No post can ever compete with my mental image of Chooch screaming “maggots,micheal” out an open window at a complete stranger.
Love you lots
You’re just lucky my scanner is broken because I was totally going to post the page from your diary that really dives deep into your Lil Wayne obsession!