I needed a recent non-iPhone picture of Chooch so we had a super-quick photoshoot yesterday before dinner, and Chooch was less-than-thrilled but he did go along with it without too much fuss and didn’t even hold out his hand for payment like he normally does these days.

Right before we went to go outside though, HNC had just parked across the street so I told Chooch I wanted to wait for him to go in his house because I’m more paranoid and twitchy than a tweaker under a Seattle bridge in 1991. It took him so long to cross the street, I couldn’t even believe it. Every time I looked out the window, he was STILL in the street so then I wondered if he was playing Frogger, maybe that’s what he does to blow off some steam after a day of doing whatever it is HNC does.

Finally, Chooch looked out and said he wasn’t there anymore, so I flounced out of the house like a weirdo with my camera, but HNC WAS STILL ON HIS PORCH, UNLOCKING HIS DOOR. And then Chooch came out of the house so HNC was all, “WHOA! YOU LOOK LIKE SNAZZY! WHERE ARE YOU GOING?!”

And Chooch just got all nervous and mute, so I said, “Oh, we’re just doing a photo shoot.”

“Oh! Where?” he asked, probably giving us way too much credit and thinking we were going to…Olan Mills, lololol.

“Um, behind the house,”  shrugged and he was just like, “Oh…ok. Have fun!”

But then I did that thing that I do where I’m trying to act like we’re not doing anything weird (and we actually weren’t!!!!) by continuing to spit out superfluous small talk.

“Thanks! Yeah, I need some 13-year-old pictures of him,” I over-explained, and then after HNC said he understood, I tacked on, “Plus, I like to abuse him” and nervously laughed.

“Nothing wrong with that!” HNC laughed, and we walked away.

“Why did you say that?” Chooch hissed. “Now he’s going in his house and calling CPS!”

LOL.

But really, hopefully he didn’t.

So last week, Chooch had to give a presentation on the project he did for Black History Month. His subject was James Beckworth and after two months of hearing about this guy and going to the main Carnegie library to look for books on this obscure guy, all I can  tell you is that he climbed mountains.

I don’t even know when he was alive.

Anyway, his Communications teacher is real uptight when it comes to things like this, which I actually appreciate because he is going to be so prepared for high school reports, etc., and she makes these things super formal. So even though the presentations only last 5-10 minutes, she expects every kid to dress up for it. Usually, Chooch waits until the last minute to drop this on me, but this time he gave me three whole days notice only because he wanted me to buy him a lavender suit!?

Trust me, I love the idea of a lavender suit. So many styling options! Such photo ops! But I wasn’t buying him a lavender suit for a five-minute presentation.

Perhaps for his first dance or…mock trial?

So my response to that was BOY YOU WILL WEAR SOMETHING YOU ALREADY HAVE IN YOUR CLOSET and then I remembered this red blazer that I bought back during my shortlived I AM GOING TO BE AN AVANT GARDE FASHION DESIGNER phase but that quickly ended once Henry was like, “No, I am not buying you a sewing machine because you’ll never use it and then I’ll get stuck finishing your projects.”

….so?

Doesn’t this red blazer look fabulous with his watermelon shirt?! Even he agreed that it was the next best thing to a lavender suit, so we didn’t have to go through our usual head-butting routine. This is what he wore for his presentation and we all lived happily ever after.

KOREAN LESSON TIME: The word for watermelon in Korean is SUBAK.

EXTRA CREDIT: The word for pumpkin in Korean is HOBAK which sounds like ho-bag which makes me think of high school because ho-bag was the cordial “hey bitch” greeting of the 1990s.

He said his teacher’s reaction to his outfit was, “….THIS CHILD.”

Lol.

I can hear her saying that too. She is super sassy and has super-threatening acrylics. Chooch is always like “UGH Ms. SMITH” like everyday but I think he secretly likes her and she definitely likes him because she pushes him extra hard and he is obsessed with getting the best grades in her class.

In other Chooch news, this happened on Saturday:

They’re actually going to have tteokbokki for him this month! I’m not sure if I ever said it on here before, but that Teen Center (it’s actually called the Teen Outreach) is amazing and our neighborhood is so lucky to have it. They offer all kinds of extra-curricular activities like cooking classes, yoga, improv (which Chooch just signed up for) and he also gets paid to attend these weekly “Manhood” classes where he is being taught all the important things (re: PUBERTY, sex, etc.)  that Henry hasn’t talked to him about, and also things like HERE IS HOW TO RESPECT WOMEN, which we do talk about but how many boys don’t know these things!? A ton. And this awesome group is doing their part in preventing future date rapes / domestic violence / sexual harassment.

And yes, I did notice that there is something similar offered for girls, as well.

They even have field trips! He went geocaching last week and learned about aqua pods or something equally as boring, I can’t remember. And they go on hikes during the summer so they’re not actually all sitting around on dirty couches playing video games like I originally thought.

Man, I can’t believe I used to make fun of this place and get annoyed that he spends so much time there.

Anyway, that concludes my obligatory Chooch update.

No comments

Drew & Me on Saturday, a folk song.

Whenever I have Friday late shifts, even though I get to work from home, my weekend automatically feels cut in half. I mean, I’m only working until 8:30 but it takes a toll. So any weekend that follows a Friday late shift is almost doomed from the start.

I AM SO POSITIVE.

Nothing much happened over the weekend. I didn’t make any plans, had nowhere to go, IT RAINED AND SNOWED ON SUNDAY, and I was in a bad mood because of that.

However, there were two highlights and here they are:

1. TAEMIN WENT BACK TO BLACK HAIR YOU GUYS. Black hair Taemin is the best Taemin.

2. The Cure FINALLY got inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame and that alone would be enough to count as one of my weekend highlights, but then Robert Smith had to go and ONE-UP the actual honor by giving this perfectly glib interview, the first ten seconds of which went viral but the whole fucking interview is worth your time, believe me. He is perfection. Where the fuck did they dig up that interviewer?? The face Robert makes when she says she’s been a fan since birth is me every twenty minutes at work and every 5 minutes at home when Henry is talking.

This band has been my #1 since childhood, Robert will always be my ult bias, and my walls will always be dotted with Robert’s face. But the fact that past members were also there, LIKE LOL TOLHURST!!, really made my heart swell and I was crying on the couch next to Chooch who said nothing because he expects this from his emo mom. Obviously Robert’s stance on getting inducted was more of a blase, ambivalent, who really gives a fuck attitude, but I appreciated that Lol thoughtfully said that he was happy for the fans, that the fans must have felt vindicated.

YES, YES WE DO, LOL.

The last time they were nominated, they didn’t get in and I wanted to burn garbage, that’s how pissed I was. And when they were nominated for a Grammy in 2000 and lost, I wanted to flip desks while school children were sitting at them.

It is a travesty, A MOTHERFUCKING TRAVESTY, that there are still people I encounter who have….never heard of The Cure. Or even worse – confuse them with [x] 80s band.

For instance, when Todd was like, “Yeah I know the Cure” and started humming a song.

“THAT’S NOT THE CURE, TODD! THAT’S A-HA!” I cried.

UGH!!

It breaks my dumb black heart.

I wouldn’t fly to Australia alone for any old band, people. Remember that.

So, that was my weekend. NOTHING MUCH TO SEE HERE. Things will get more peppy in the next couple of weeks though, prob.

You’re dismissed.

2 comments