A few weeks ago, I suggested (and not aggressively so) that we get bushes for the front of the house to cover the dumb ugly gas meter, and as Henry was agreeing, I continued, “and then we can sculpt them into Wonderland-ish delights” and that was met with a deep frown.

And then, without me having to say it every single day after that, HE DID IT ALL OF HIS OWN VOLITION! Literally came home from Lowe’s on Saturday morning (his birthday, even!) and went to town (er, yard).

Honestly, I think that being mostly homebound has really helped inspire him to tackle projects here at home, since we’re not out and about or traveling to amusement parks and kpop concerts. And then sometimes Henry just really gets super motivated out of the blue.

This was the first time Drew has ever shown any interest in the outside world!

When Marcy was alive, she used to LOVE going outside in the warmer months. She’d just roll around on the sidewalk, eat some grass, and then chill out watching people walk by. When Henry’s mom used to babysit Chooch in the summer, she and Marcy were porch-sitting BFFs. Ugh, I miss Marcy.

I’m not sure if Drew will ever reach that comfort level because she’s so skittish, but it was super cute watching her stand in the doorway and look all around.

AND THEN PENELOPE WAS LIKE, “ME TOO!”

Meanwhile, Chooch did the bare minimum as far as the actual act of planting goes, while I stood around and shouted directions in between writing social justice slogans on the sidewalk and reading a book.

One day last week, I answered the door to get a package and the delivery guy was like, “It’s not very often I see Korean written on sidewalks in Pittsburgh!” and I was like, “OMG I’M OBSESSED WITH KOREA! I’ve been there twice and would move there if I could,” and he said he was jealous, and that it seems like such an awesome place, and LOOK AT ME TALKING TO STRANGERS!

Then he left and I was like, “Shit, I should have asked him if he likes BIGBANG.” I mean, it’s not everyday someone walks on my sidewalk and actually knows that what they’re looking at is Korean! That was an exciting moment for me because I have clearly been starved for human contact. Who knew.

We usually would have a screen door there but then it broke two years ago and dumb Henry still hasn’t replaced it because I think he secretly wants to keep our shanty looking as shantyful as possible.

I have no idea what any of these flowers are but they’re pretty.

“We” still have to make a little retaining fence thingy for the yard out of pieces of wood, but of course I have to paint them all sorts of colors first because everything in my life needs to look like a rainbow hemorrhaged on it.

Anyway, this is just one of many household projects “we” would like to tackle this summer. And he has time since my Seoul subway picture is on hold while he’s waiting for some plastic thing to be delivered, ugh. I hate waiting for things to get done!

Before I get into the last week of what I read for Asian Readathon, I want to take a moment to share a list of Black-owned independent book stores. I know that a lot of my friends are on a mission to read more books by Black authors, but please consider patronizing these small businesses in lieu of Amazon or whatever big chain book store you’d normally turn to. It’s a small way we can show support & love to our Black bookish community members while also doing all the other actual hard work! And keep those shelves diverse, because lord knows we all can stand to fill our brains with perspectives and experiences that differ from our own. <3

(Credit: Instagram user worn_ware)

21. Devotion of Suspect X – Keigo Higashino 

This Japanese thriller was a wild ride! Henry and I listened to the audio book and then immediately watched the movie – the book was better. One of the characters is a math teacher and I thought I’d be deterred by the math elements but it made the story even more interesting. This is actually #3 in the “Professor Galileo” series, but the only one that’s been translated to English. From what I read, you don’t have to read them in order, which is good, because I had already started reading it when I found out, lol.

I highly recommend this to my thriller lovers who are looking for something different.

22. The Good Son – Jeong You-Jeong

Another psychological thriller, but this time we’re back in Korea, boyyyy. In this one, we’re following a boy in his 20s as he tries to figure out DA FUQ happened after he wakes up and finds his mom dead. It goes back and forth between present day and memories. It’s pretty effing chilling, and also….quiet.

23. Written in the Stars – Aisha Saeed

Full disclosure, I picked this up thinking it was going to be some YA fluff and I kind of needed that after two back-to-back thrillers. Um, wow, no. This book is FUCKING HEAVY. Our main character Naila is Pakistani American and gets busted going to prom with her boyfriend Saif and shit really hits the fan because her immigrant parents are TRADITIONAL. So they arrange a family trip back to Pakistani that summer and first it’s just for like, two weeks, then it keeps getting extended, and eventually Naila realizes it’s because her parents and extended family are trying to marry her off.

This book….it gets SO REAL and I was actually terrified. I had no idea it would get as deep and dark as it did and I’m glad it did because this shit is the reality for lots of women and it really makes you have perspective.

Like, her family literally was like, “Marriage is more important than education” when all this poor girl cared about was getting back to the States in time for college orientation. It was crazy. Asian Readathon really took me on a lot of rides.

24. In Order to Live: A North Korean Girl’s Journey to Freedom – Park Yeonmi

I wanted to read at least one non-fiction book for this readathon and I knew early on that it would be this one. Yeonmi lived in North Korea until she was 13 so not only does she provide a pretty detailed glimpse into what life was like in under the rule of the Kims, but her mother also helped provide an extensive family history, so you can see the ebb and flow of their living conditions. That’s scary enough as it is, but once it gets into the actual defecting portion of the book, I was biting my nails off. The shit she and her mother went through in China made me cry all of the tears I had inside me.

I’m not a big biography reader, but I would recommend this to anyone who is interested in learning more about North Korea from the perspective of a young defector, because there was a lot I didn’t know myself. For instance, did you know that in North Korean classrooms, elementary school kids learn math not with apples and oranges, but with propaganda. (From the book: “If you kill one American bastard and your comrade kills two, how many dead American bastards do you have?”)

Park Yeonmi is one brave lady. I wouldn’t have lasted a day in her shoes.

25. The Wrath & the Dawn – Renee Ahdieh 

I almost didn’t pick this one up off my Libby shelf but HOO BOY am I glad I did. It’s a retelling of 1001 Arabian Nights and it is LEGIT FIRE. When I read the synopsis, I was full shrug mode, but Renee Ahdieh can WRITE DIALOGUE, you guys. Holy shit, she wrote the most brilliant characters, the banter was edgy and real, and the personalities fucking sparkled.

Shazi infiltrates the palace to avenge the death of her best friend, killed by the young king who kills all of his wives. She is a strong lead, and her handmaiden is SASSY AF. I had a lot of fun reading this which was good since my last several books were so heavy and depressing.

There’s a sequel to this that I haven’t added to my list yet but you better believe I’ll read it this summer!

26. The Farm – Joanne Ramos

Yeah, I didn’t like this much at all and I don’t really have much to say about it expect that I learned about some Filipino desserts that I want Henry to make now.

There wasn’t a single likable character in this book and it was just…not great. Unless you like reading about girls who get paid to have babies for super rich people but they have to live in this super strict and Big Brother-y facility. Then this book was made for you.

27. Severance – Ling Ma

Another post-apocalyptic novel! This one was about the “Shen Fever” which basically turned people into non-violent zombie-types who performed the same task over and over on a loop, like folding clothes, but they aren’t the focus here. The main character is a 20-something Chinese American living in NYC and working for a company that publishes Bibles, when the fever hits, and it alternates between her on the road with a small group of survivors, and her life preceding the fever. I gave this a 3 on Goodreads, but it’s more of a very solid 3.5 and ONLY because the ending is too….open.

I fell in love with Ling Ma’s writing and this was a different, fresh take on apocalyptic novels and I really needed that. The ending though, ugh.

28. The Majesties – Tiffany Tsao 

I finished this one on the very last day of the month and I’m really glad I was able to squeeze it in! It’s like a darker Crazy Rich Asians, following two Indonesian sisters and their, well, crazy rich family. Right away, it starts with one of the sisters mass-murdering 300 of their family and friends—not a spoiler—and the rest of the book follows the other sister, the sole survivor, as she tries to piece together what happened to make her sister do it.

I REALLY LIKED THIS BOOK and didn’t even see the (not too original, but still effective) twist coming.

***

So that’s it! I ended up reading 28 books, encompassing everything from literary fiction, YA, thrillers, dystopian novels, one graphic novel, and one non-fiction, and I DNFd two books (Guilded Wolves and The Terracotta Bride). I was going to make some graphics breaking down my stats even further, but who has time for that these days.

1. Even though he is a Faygo slinger, he only drinks unsweetened ice tea. (And lately, he has gotten into cold brew but then he dumps half of a thing of creamer in it, so….)
   1. OMG he just took a big swig of tea and said, “Sheetz got their sweet tea back!” I guess it was gone during quarantine but now that our county went back down to green, it’s back. Good to know?
2. He went through a country phase before he knew me, gross.
3. He loves kitchen-y stuff so much that he once made me host a Pampered Chef party and it was one of the worst evenings of my life.
4. He always looks angry in pictures but he is actually a pretty laid-back guy.
5. Shit, I was going to say what his favorite color is but I can’t remember now. Chooch and I always joke that it’s “poop” or “puke” colors and one day he snapped and screamed at us what his actual favorite color is but all I remember is that it’s one of the ROY G. BIVs. I’ll ask him later, I guess. (He just said, “I don’t have one. I don’t know. Black. Or red or blue. Uh, probably red.” See, I thought it was orange, glad I waited.)
6. He used to be a paper boy when he was a kid. 
7. He bought a pair of cowboy boots when he was in THE SERVICE and only wore them once because they hurt his feet.
8. He was in THE SERVICE.
9. He loves to white knight.
10. He hasn’t read a book since the early 2000s when I got him into Harlan Coben; now all he reads is Reddit, Korean subtitles, and the weekly circulars. And I guess recipes count.
11. He will listen to audio books though, but he says it’s just because it’s a way to spend time with me, AWWWWW.
12. He’s part Syrian (not Siberian, like Chooch thought, or Serbian like I just almost typed.)
13. His ult Kpop biases are Cha Eun Woo of Astro and Bae Suzy, formerly of Miss A (she’s an actor now).

14. He can fall asleep anywhere, such as Warped Tour or leaning against the wall of Mr. Small’s during a post-hardcore show.
15. He LOVES soft pretzels. OMG 10 minutes after I typed this, he came through the door looking like this:

16. Even though he refuses to eat tofu, he is really great at cooking with it.
17. He used to be an electrician’s apprentice so he knows how to do light-things, which is handy.
18. All of his clothes are black, gray, ugly. Usually they have beverage logos on them too.
19. He insists on trying to fix everything himself even though the last time I checked, he’s not a plumber or car mechanic and doesn’t hang drywall for a living, but OK, fix on, Mr. Fix-It.
20. As an avid meat-eater, he actually really enjoys vegan food. He just doesn’t like the stereotypical vegan clientele.
21. He’s never been in jail.
22. He LOVES “The Princess Bride” and “The Princess Diaries.” I am not joking about the second one.
23. He hates when we make up new names for the cats and refuses to call them by their new names.
24. His entire family calls him Joey (his middle name is Joseph).
25. He hates Trump.
26. He refuses to exercise with me because, and I quote, I WALK AROUND A WAREHOUSE ALL DAY LONG, THAT IS ENOUGH EXERCISE.
27. He is great at giving directions, but when it comes to using maps himself, he will undoubtedly fuck it up at least once.
28. He can name any plane model that flies above us.
29. He was a big Days of Our Lives fanboy back in the day and he hard-stanned John Black.
30. He is our private chauffeur and by that I mean when we find an amusement park halfway across the country, he will drive us there (but not without complaint, which is annoying).
31. When Uber and Lyft were still semi-new, he had a brief stint as a Lyft driver but the picture the Lyft manager guy took of him for his profile was so menacing-looking, that women were canceling left and right.
32. He’ll go along with just about anything I want to do even though he acts super put-out about it.
33. His favorite thing to do is sleep.
34. His favorite subject in school was “I don’t know.”
35. He used to play volleyball lol.
36. His favorite cartoon as a kid was Looney Tunes.
37. As he’s outside planting shrubbery and other plants, which is how I learned he also is an expert at landscaping.
38. His favorite thing to do at an amusement park is sit on a bench while we ride a roller coaster.
39. His favorite TV shows are NCIS and Blacklist.
40. He went through a phase where he had long hair and wore bandannas and people assumed it was because he was balding BUT NO, HE JUST LOVED DRESSING UP HIS HEAD.
41. He is a huge procrastinator which makes me have to be a nag.
42. He loves to hide sit on the chair on the back porch and watch HBO.
43. He loves when shit happens outside of our house and he gets to call 911 like a hero.
44. He talks to the cats, but uses his regular voice and refuses to acknowledge that they’re people.
45. He used to smoke trees?!!?
46. His favorite K-drama is a tie between Are You Human Too? and When the Camelia Blooms.

47. He got kicked out of a strip club in Texas when he was in the SERVICE for throwing fifty cents at a stripper.
48. If cole slaw is on the menu, consider it in his mouth.
49. His favorite Korean food is donkkaseu.
50. He used to drive a school bus for three weeks when he was 24 or 25 and quit because he allegedly got another job but it was more likely because the kids were bullying him.
51. I asked him the name of his first girlfriend and he literally couldn’t answer me, he looked like he was thinking himself to death, so I think the answer is that his ex-wife was also his first girlfriend.
52. When I used LiveJournal, the name I used for him was Hoover because he sucks the fun out of everything and before that it was Emily Pringle, because one time he thought I called him Emily and he looks like the guy on the Pringles can.
53. He used to be obsessed with a DIY show called She’s Crafty.
54. He goes to “the store” every single fucking day because it’s his refuge, his sanctuary, his “safe place.” And also because he ALWAYS FORGETS TO GET AT LEAST ONE THING THAT WE PUT ON THE SHOPPING LIST! But honestly, I always picture him in a total zone, pushing the cart down the aisle to the popular soft rock tunes wafting down from the rafters, with a faraway look in his eyes thinking of the life he could have had.
55. When he was in 10th or 11th grade, he got in trouble for punching a hole in the ceiling. I hoped that it was because he was the losing part of a love triangle or was ‘roid-raging after one of those volleyball games, but no. It was just because part of the ceiling was already falling down and he reached up and punched more of it down and got caught by the janitor. Wow. Cool story, Hank-bro. (OH WAIT SHIT, HE JUST TOLD ME, “Oh, and I did get paddled for that too, just so you know. And I had to pay for it.” His grandma was more mad that he got paddled than the fact that he DESTROYED SCHOOL PROPERTY AND HAD TO PAY FOR IT.  Wow, how have I never known this story!?!? He said he doesn’t think his mom knows about it!)

On that note, Happy birthday to our favorite frowner! Thanks for being the best non-husband/housewife/caregiver/project-doer/obsession-enabler. I’ll try to be less demanding today! Go drink some unsweetened ice tea under a tree and dream about your SERVICE days! Just come home in time to make dinner.

In lieu of my typical Friday Five dum-dum postings, here’s some more important stuff.

Like, for one thing, the house down the street of me that has had grotesque pro-trump flags hanging on their porch since they moved in a year ago has since taken them down. I dunno if it’s because they had a change of heart (doubtful, you know how those Trumpers are), took them down out of fear, or someone ripped them down in protest, but I am just really super happy that they are gone. BYE BYE. Hopefully they don’t come back—one of them is that gross picture of Trump as Rambo, holding a machine gun.

That family has a dog and Chooch and I always say we feel so sorry for it, having to live in a Trump house.

There was a protest that was supposed to march pass our house earlier today so Chooch and I went outside to redo our sidewalk statements that were washed away in the rain yesterday. I recently learned how to say Black Lives Matter in Korean, thanks to a Korean American clothing brand – Kore Limited – who released a statement the other day. I am living for the companies that are stepping up and fighting the good fight, and even more happy when I see influencers/YouTubers/celebs terminating contracts with those that aren’t.

(Shout out to Chooch for his sick fist-drawing skills!)

While we’re on that topic, I love seeing people posting about local Black-owned businesses to support, but can I share a business here that I will never ever ever give a single cent to?

This place is in the building where I work and while I have never personally bought anything there, we have had department lunches catered by them in the past. I sincerely hope our department will no longer give this place their business. Windows can be replaced; lives can’t.

On a happier note! Our favorite vegan ice cream shop is taking pint preorders starting tomorrow at 7pm and proceeds from their sales will be donated to local non-profits supporting racial equality so if you’re in Pittsburgh, get yo orders in quick tomorrow night because they sell out fast!

And on that note, I hope everyone takes some time to breathe & decompress this weekend. Then get right back at it! Fuck systemic racism, fuck Trump, fuck the police.

Spent some time in the cemetery last weekend, but most of it was consumed with following along with the protests, being with them in spirit, and doing a fuck-ton of crying.

I don’t even really know what to say, but I came here because I just wanted to feel that methodical tapping of the keys because it’s therapeutic and I think we all, on some levels, could use some tender lovin’ THERAPY. I’m never really good at expressing myself when it comes to civil/social/racial issues because all my gut reaction is always to cry and/or get angry. George Floyd’s murder and the civil unrest that has unraveled in the aftermath feels different, like this time it could be the impetus to actually really move things forward. 

I know there’s a conversation going on about whether people are born racist or not. I know that I was. I come from a family of “low-key” racists. You know the types. The “I’m not racist, but” kinds of white people. And my school had only a handful of Black students. I think in my grade, there were maybe 4? And two of them, my friend Jameelah and her brother, were Muslim who were told that they couldn’t have a room to pray in during Ramadan, yet our school allowed Bible studies to be held there, and I definitely remember pray things happening outside around the fucking flag pole. 

I mean, I lived next to a town called Pleasant Hills. Pleasant fucking Hills, you guys. You don’t get much whiter than that.

But, thank god, my family wasn’t super tight-knit in the sense that we’d all sit down around the meatloaf and lima beans while Ma and Pa would shove their conservative morals and beliefs down our throats. Like, I was pretty sure I knew where they stood on certain social issues, but I was able to find my own path, have diverse interests, and form my own (Henry says ‘too’) liberal opinions. But I definitely remember that although having Black friends wasn’t verboten in my household, I was 100% told that if I ever dated a Black guy, I’d be written out of the Will. 

But even though I was able to grow up not hating or fearing people with different skin colors than my own, doesn’t mean that I was perfectly non-racist.

For example, even in high school, when I had a bunch of Black friends (“Yeah, but I have Black friends!” – I know, I know, I’m sorry, I did that) and was immersed in Black media, I had NO IDEA what cultural appropriation was. Like, if one of my white friends had worn a Native American headdress for Halloween, I am sure I wouldn’t have batted an eye. 

Even in my early 20s (god, 20 years ago!), I probably chuckled at off-color jokes.

But then I started to learn some more, especially with the rise of social media. The information and facts were in my face then. I would read things about white privilege and think, “Oh shit, I do that.”  It wasn’t until probably 15 years ago when I started reading what Black people were saying about their hair, and that’s how I learned about cultural appropriation. And I got it. I understood. This makes sense to me now, I thought, and I wish that the white people who roll their eyes and say “They’re just being sensitive” or “it’s just fucking hair” would also take the time out to UNDERSTAND. We treat them like shit, yet turn around and try to take away what’s theirs, just for a fashion statement. 

I probably STILL am not perfectly non-racist, but I am learning. I’m reading. I’m taking the time to educate myself and my kid, to read more books written by Black authors, to LISTEN to what my Black Americans are saying. I need to be better at calling people out. I have to put in the work. And WE ALL have to vote. We need a new, and better, normal. 

I read this line The Diviners yesterday and it’s so on point: “When the world moves forward too fast for some people, they try to pull us all back with their fear.” These bitches can stay scared while the rest of us keep pushing ahead.

***

Today, Henry and I walked past two city cops and I glared at them.

“People should start looking at cops the way racists look at Black people,” I said. “Like, we should all just glare at them and make them feel uncomfortable like they don’t belong here.”

“You already do that,” Henry sighed.

It’s true. I haven’t liked cops since 1995 when my mom had them break into my bedroom and zip-tie my wrists and then drag me outside to an ambulance because she thought I was doing drugs/killing myself when all I was doing was listening to Bone Thugs n- Harmony but OK. 

If you have ever said or thought “Blue lives matter” or “all lives matter,” check your ears because you’re not listening.

If you have said, “I get what happened was wrong, but” then you don’t truly understand your privilege. There is no room for white knighting in this matter.

If you’re more upset that buildings are burning and not that black people continue to be murdered by the police, where is your humanity?

If you are not anti-racism or willing to educate yourself, kindly unfollow, unsubscribe, delete, etc. Actually, scratch the “kindly.” Just get the fuck out.