It figures. I’m having a super good hair day & my supervisor texted to tell me to just work from home today because the roads are supposed to get icy. So since I had some time to kill before I start working at 1:30, I decided to walk to the Wines & Spirits in Brookline to get the stuff I need for the two Thanksgiving punches I’m making. (That’s my big contribution! I’m taking it REAAAAALLLLY seriously, too. Finally picked my two punches last night and I’m so stoked! I guarantee Henry will have to take over at some point though. The one recipe I found required BOILING THINGS and SIMPLE SYRUP, wtf. That sounded way too involved for me so I had to keep looking.)
Anyway, it seemed like a great idea at the time, so I stuffed one of Henry’s stupid hats on my pretty hair and set off down the road to good old Brookline Boulevard. I even said hello to some old man who was shoveling in front of a barber shop.
Got to the liquor store and rounded up my ingredients without having to call Henry because the liquor store is pretty much the one store where I’m able to get shit done on my own, but then when the cashier asked me if I wanted my three wines and one Brandy double-bagged, and I said yes because I’m walking, I realized, “OH FUCK, I’M WALKING.”
Back on my street, some man stopped me and asked how much snow we were supposed to get, I guess because that perma-dumb look on my face just SCREAMS, “Ask me questions, for I am an almanac!”
“I don’t know, like 100?” I said with a shrug.
“Wow, that’s a lot,” Michael said. And I know his name is Michael not because I’m also a census registrar, but because just then some guy drove by and rolled down the window to literally bellow, “MICHAEL!!!!!” like he was trying to save him from being fucking murdered, and then Michael waved his rolled-up umbrella in response and I took that as my cue to resume walking.
So I continued to lug this heavy bag of breakables back home while being pelted by perpetual snowfall and suddenly, I’m not having such a hot hair day anymore.