Things got interesting today when my brother Corey sent me this text:
Immediately, I turned around and recited the text to Glenn, because he clearly cares about everything that goes on in my life.
“OK,” he said,
“AMISH PEOPLE, GLENN!”
He just shrugged and went back to “work.”
But then Corey started texting me pictures and I was practically falling out of my seat. Mean Amber shared my joy in this, surprisingly! I guess we have Amish people in common.
I think at some point Glenn tried to offer some boring Amish People anecdote, but I fell asleep. They built a chair for someone he knew, I’m sorry, but my eyelids are crashing down and my ears are set to LALALALA.
Then Corey said that they were blasting Christian rock and country music, but our dad said that there was a third guy with them who was not Amish, so this Secular music blarin’ was OK.
THIS PICTURE IS EVERYTHING!!!
By the time Corey sent me the second photo above, I had officially lost it.
“WHO IS TAKING THESE PICTURES?!” Glenn the Amish Photograph Police Officer demanded to know.
“My brother,” I said in a ‘duh” tone. “He’s basically exactly like me, but 24.”
The look of horror that spread across Glenn’s face was priceless.
“OMG HERE’S A PICTURE OF THEM ON MY DAD’S ROOF! THEY’RE ON.MY.DAD’S. ROOF GLENN!” I cried excitedly.
“Well, if they’re building a roof, then of course they’re eventually going to be on the roof!” Glenn yelled in Glenn-fashion, which is mostly just a slightly louder mumble.
Fuck, I miss everything while I’m at work.
(Of course, now I’m embroiled in an internal Amish or Mennonite quandary.)
It is now Friday, October 17th and Corey has sent me photos of my future Amish husband. I CAN’T WAIT TO CUT A HOLE IN A SHEET!