*aka Chooch Moves Back to Philly Day :(

8:58am: Waiting for Henry to come back with the rental SUV – he hilariously thought that renting a larger car would mean only one trip but after seeing all of Chooch’s shit in the living room, it’s become quite clear that Henry and I will still be taking that second trip next weekend lol. How do other people do this without renting a Uhaul (Drexel says no Uhauls!)??

10:03am: We’re leaving :( Chooch was saying goodbye to Penelope and I started crying. This sucks and feels worse than last year somehow.

But hey some good news! So the whole draw of Drexel is that they have co-ops so graduates will already have 1 to 1.5 years of work experience in their field when they graduate. This is why Chooch chose Drexel over Pitt (and because he didn’t want to stay in Pgh). Anyway, they had three rounds of co-op applications or whatever starting in June. He got no interviews for the first round. Second round he had one and then didn’t get it. Third round JUST happened 2 weeks ago and brother when I say I have been stressed to the point of sickness this summer – basically if he didn’t get a co-op he’d have to take classes this quarter which means we’d have to take out another last minute loan, etc. just a lot of financial stress when we have been kind of doing ok.

All week we’ve been preparing for that. He had some calls with his advisor and it seemed like that’s what was going to have to happen. Then! He had an interview yesterday at noon and by 2::30 they offered him a position! Not trying to doxx my kid here but it’s at a museum (!!!) and he will be doing meta-data and archival work whatever that means. The weight that melted off my shoulders when he sent me a screenshot of the job offer (he was actually at our neighbor’s house cutting grass – the guy on the street behind us with the Corgi!) – I knew I had been carrying a lot of stress this summer but didn’t realize just how much until I read that email.

You guys I even prayed sort of in my own way over this! It was awkward but I did it.

10:40am: Pulled into a Sheetz. Chooch is bitching because he realized he brought one of the reusable straws in his Dunkin and doesn’t know what to do with it now that his drink is empty so he told Henry to throw it away and I piped up, “no!! It’s reusable! That’s the whole point of reusable straws so that you don’t throw it out!” And everyone is annoyed with me but you’re welcome, Straw, for living to be sucked on another day.

11:10am:

Here is Son, having backseat bitch fest because he doesn’t like the food at Sheetz but was forced to get something since Henry starved him all morning.

OMG HUGE FIGHT ALERT: when we were at Sheetz I tried to get a fork but got pissed bc people kept crashing into me. So I gave up and said to Chooch, “go get me a fork” so he walked over to the food pick up area while Henry and I went out to the car.

“I guarantee he doesn’t get me a fork,” I said as we got into the car.

Just now I turned around because I was ready to eat my watermelon snack. I made “fork” motions to chooch who got real annoyed and yelled “I don’t know what that means.” I kept trying to say fork but I was laughing because of how mad he was so that was making him even more mad until he finally understood me and said, “why would I have a fork??”

“Because I told you to get me a fork!”

“NO, you did NOT!” he yelled haughtily. “You told me to go get my food!”

“I said to get me a fork!!!!” I cried.

“Why wouldn’t you just get your own fork?? You were halfway there!” he yelled.

“Because people kept crashing into me!!” I screamed, feeling my eyes bulging at this juncture of the argument. The crux, if you will. The climax.

Henry was doing a silent laugh through this whole exchange, practically crying over it, while I’m yelling, “HOW WILL I EAT MY WATERMELON???”

“Use the stupid reusable straw!!” Chooch yelled and we all lost it at that point.

I’ll miss our car fights :(

2:57pm: at IKEA somewhere because chooch needs cups?? Henry called the two of us a “little bitch clique” bc we were whispering about him decomposing in a trunk. You had to be there.

1. Now that I have been to the bathroom in the Pgh IKEA and whatever IKEA this is, and the one in Denmark, I can safely say that the US IKEA bathrooms are far inferior.

2. HOWEVER!! The plant ball meal here was way better than the strange concoction they served up in the Danish IKEA 100%. I actually hated that meal so much but this one was nice.

I also split a rainbow cake with Henry but there’s no picture because he carved into it immediately and had it all in his beard ugh.

4:03pm: hello back in the car and I’m seriously about to puke my stomach hurts so bad from eating at IKEA ugh. Anyway we’re 40 minutes outside of Philly. I’m so sad even though Chooch has been mean to me all day. (Nothing unusual!)

4:43pm: we just pulled up and asked the move-in crew if this was where he needed to be for his apartment move in and she looked back and forth between me and Chooch and asked if he was the student, DID SHE THINK IT COULD HAVE BEEN ME LOL.

6:02pm: wow what an actual cluster moving him in but here is his view from the 20th floor:

Oh and excuse me look at what he tried to take????

I made him pose here and he did it haha. Also we had to walk up 20 flights up steps with his computer monitors and TV because we didn’t wait for the elevator again since the line is out the door with move-in activity. I’m cooked.

6:58pm: I feel sad. :( We will see him again next weekend to bring the rest of his stuff but still. This is a part of parenting that I was not prepared for.

7:37pm: ugh why is every experience at Wawa so mid. I got a gross fajita veggie bowl and the avocado I paid extra for was the tiniest squirt of guac. So underwhelming. Meanwhile Henry bought a pretzel and realized in the car that it was opened with a piece taken out of it and he was sure it wasn’t like that when he scanned it at the self-checkout but refuses to eat it now because he can’t remember opening it. I have no idea what’s going on but I’m pissed bc while I was hate-eating my bowl the only consolation I had was that I was going to eat some of Henry’s pretzel like the pigeon I am. Ugh.

8:40pm: here we are an hour later at a rest stop and Henry is still pondering the pretzel puzzle:

“It’s not hard though, you’d think it was opened before I bought it, it would be hard….”

9:39pm: did I mention that Henry rented a GMC SUV? He thinks it’s a Terrain? Never heard of it. It feels like something MAGA would drive and I actually hate it so much. Every 5 minutes I’m finding new things about it to hate but mostly it’s that I can picture these on Texan highways with LET’S GO BRANDON stickers on the back window. I always forget that GMC exists and prefer to keep it that way, which is particularly difficult when I’m sitting in one.

10:03pm: we saw the prettiest stray (?) cat at the last rest stop but Henry wouldn’t let me take her :( When we were leaving, there were workers from the rest stop food places outside feeding her so Henry thinks she’s a regular and “will be fine.” Well, he can sleep outside tonight too. I’m sure he will also be fine.

When we were walking back to the car, I was complaining about my distended stomach and said that I actually look pregnant so I started rubbing my belly while saying, “it’s ok baby, we’re almost back to the car.”

“Wow! I’m telling Chooch. You never talked to HIM like that,” Henry said in mock offense. I mean, kind of true. I never called him “baby.” Lol.

Ok I’m posting this now. I miss Chooch. Bye.

10:53pm: I lied. I’m back. We just stopped at this rest stop that has something called TRAILHEAD and Henry said it has something to do with the bike trail that goes to DC or whatever. I needed to get the rest of my steps for the day so we walked over to look at the pavilion that was built and apparently just opened today???-

I guess this is supposed to have a 3D effect but ok.

Oh! When I was in the bathroom, one of the girls working at Baskin was at the sink with me and she said she liked my shoes (just Vans) so of course I had to run back to Henry and tell him because it’s always news worthy when I get a compliment since I am attention starved, always. He didn’t care.

Anyway, this whole time I have been crying over my stomach pains which I have had ever since eating at fucking IKEA. My stomach is so bloated and distended that I could pass for a pregnant lady.

Henry was annoyed that he had to accompany me on my rest stop walk but I was like I DONT WANT SOME TRUCKER TO BE LIKE OOH LOOK AT THIS LATE-IN-LIFE PREGNANT BROAD WHILE LICKING HIS LIPS.

Henry thought this was hilarious and I was like THERE ARE MEN OUT THERE THAT I WOULD APPEAL TO YOU WILL BE SORRY WHEN I GET TAKEN.

Then I started spiraling out. “What if when they check CCTV to get the last known footage of me being seen alive they see me walking through that last rest stop parking lot when I was caressing my fake pregnant stomach and then the APB really does say I’m a late in life pregnant lady???” Henry was like, “omg plz stop.” But then he said that’s probably why the Baskin girl said she liked my shoes, she felt sorry for me being “old and pregnant” and I snapped, “I never said OLD I said LATE IN LIFE but thanks for speaking your truth.”

Then we argued over Trailhead some more because THE HEAD OF THE TRAIL CANNOT EVEN BE ACCESSED AT THIS REST STOP?! Henry said it’s like a mile and a half away. I am so irritated by this.

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