*aka Chooch Moves Back to Philly Day :(

8:58am: Waiting for Henry to come back with the rental SUV – he hilariously thought that renting a larger car would mean only one trip but after seeing all of Chooch’s shit in the living room, it’s become quite clear that Henry and I will still be taking that second trip next weekend lol. How do other people do this without renting a Uhaul (Drexel says no Uhauls!)??

10:03am: We’re leaving :( Chooch was saying goodbye to Penelope and I started crying. This sucks and feels worse than last year somehow.

But hey some good news! So the whole draw of Drexel is that they have co-ops so graduates will already have 1 to 1.5 years of work experience in their field when they graduate. This is why Chooch chose Drexel over Pitt (and because he didn’t want to stay in Pgh). Anyway, they had three rounds of co-op applications or whatever starting in June. He got no interviews for the first round. Second round he had one and then didn’t get it. Third round JUST happened 2 weeks ago and brother when I say I have been stressed to the point of sickness this summer – basically if he didn’t get a co-op he’d have to take classes this quarter which means we’d have to take out another last minute loan, etc. just a lot of financial stress when we have been kind of doing ok.

All week we’ve been preparing for that. He had some calls with his advisor and it seemed like that’s what was going to have to happen. Then! He had an interview yesterday at noon and by 2::30 they offered him a position! Not trying to doxx my kid here but it’s at a museum (!!!) and he will be doing meta-data and archival work whatever that means. The weight that melted off my shoulders when he sent me a screenshot of the job offer (he was actually at our neighbor’s house cutting grass – the guy on the street behind us with the Corgi!) – I knew I had been carrying a lot of stress this summer but didn’t realize just how much until I read that email.

You guys I even prayed sort of in my own way over this! It was awkward but I did it.

10:40am: Pulled into a Sheetz. Chooch is bitching because he realized he brought one of the reusable straws in his Dunkin and doesn’t know what to do with it now that his drink is empty so he told Henry to throw it away and I piped up, “no!! It’s reusable! That’s the whole point of reusable straws so that you don’t throw it out!” And everyone is annoyed with me but you’re welcome, Straw, for living to be sucked on another day.

11:10am:

Here is Son, having backseat bitch fest because he doesn’t like the food at Sheetz but was forced to get something since Henry starved him all morning.

OMG HUGE FIGHT ALERT: when we were at Sheetz I tried to get a fork but got pissed bc people kept crashing into me. So I gave up and said to Chooch, “go get me a fork” so he walked over to the food pick up area while Henry and I went out to the car.

“I guarantee he doesn’t get me a fork,” I said as we got into the car.

Just now I turned around because I was ready to eat my watermelon snack. I made “fork” motions to chooch who got real annoyed and yelled “I don’t know what that means.” I kept trying to say fork but I was laughing because of how mad he was so that was making him even more mad until he finally understood me and said, “why would I have a fork??”

“Because I told you to get me a fork!”

“NO, you did NOT!” he yelled haughtily. “You told me to go get my food!”

“I said to get me a fork!!!!” I cried.

“Why wouldn’t you just get your own fork?? You were halfway there!” he yelled.

“Because people kept crashing into me!!” I screamed, feeling my eyes bulging at this juncture of the argument. The crux, if you will. The climax.

Henry was doing a silent laugh through this whole exchange, practically crying over it, while I’m yelling, “HOW WILL I EAT MY WATERMELON???”

“Use the stupid reusable straw!!” Chooch yelled and we all lost it at that point.

I’ll miss our car fights :(

2:57pm: at IKEA somewhere because chooch needs cups?? Henry called the two of us a “little bitch clique” bc we were whispering about him decomposing in a trunk. You had to be there.

1. Now that I have been to the bathroom in the Pgh IKEA and whatever IKEA this is, and the one in Denmark, I can safely say that the US IKEA bathrooms are far inferior.

2. HOWEVER!! The plant ball meal here was way better than the strange concoction they served up in the Danish IKEA 100%. I actually hated that meal so much but this one was nice.

I also split a rainbow cake with Henry but there’s no picture because he carved into it immediately and had it all in his beard ugh.

4:03pm: hello back in the car and I’m seriously about to puke my stomach hurts so bad from eating at IKEA ugh. Anyway we’re 40 minutes outside of Philly. I’m so sad even though Chooch has been mean to me all day. (Nothing unusual!)

4:43pm: we just pulled up and asked the move-in crew if this was where he needed to be for his apartment move in and she looked back and forth between me and Chooch and asked if he was the student, DID SHE THINK IT COULD HAVE BEEN ME LOL.

6:02pm: wow what an actual cluster moving him in but here is his view from the 20th floor:

Oh and excuse me look at what he tried to take????

I made him pose here and he did it haha. Also we had to walk up 20 flights up steps with his computer monitors and TV because we didn’t wait for the elevator again since the line is out the door with move-in activity. I’m cooked.

6:58pm: I feel sad. :( We will see him again next weekend to bring the rest of his stuff but still. This is a part of parenting that I was not prepared for.

7:37pm: ugh why is every experience at Wawa so mid. I got a gross fajita veggie bowl and the avocado I paid extra for was the tiniest squirt of guac. So underwhelming. Meanwhile Henry bought a pretzel and realized in the car that it was opened with a piece taken out of it and he was sure it wasn’t like that when he scanned it at the self-checkout but refuses to eat it now because he can’t remember opening it. I have no idea what’s going on but I’m pissed bc while I was hate-eating my bowl the only consolation I had was that I was going to eat some of Henry’s pretzel like the pigeon I am. Ugh.

8:40pm: here we are an hour later at a rest stop and Henry is still pondering the pretzel puzzle:

“It’s not hard though, you’d think it was opened before I bought it, it would be hard….”

9:39pm: did I mention that Henry rented a GMC SUV? He thinks it’s a Terrain? Never heard of it. It feels like something MAGA would drive and I actually hate it so much. Every 5 minutes I’m finding new things about it to hate but mostly it’s that I can picture these on Texan highways with LET’S GO BRANDON stickers on the back window. I always forget that GMC exists and prefer to keep it that way, which is particularly difficult when I’m sitting in one.

10:03pm: we saw the prettiest stray (?) cat at the last rest stop but Henry wouldn’t let me take her :( When we were leaving, there were workers from the rest stop food places outside feeding her so Henry thinks she’s a regular and “will be fine.” Well, he can sleep outside tonight too. I’m sure he will also be fine.

When we were walking back to the car, I was complaining about my distended stomach and said that I actually look pregnant so I started rubbing my belly while saying, “it’s ok baby, we’re almost back to the car.”

“Wow! I’m telling Chooch. You never talked to HIM like that,” Henry said in mock offense. I mean, kind of true. I never called him “baby.” Lol.

Ok I’m posting this now. I miss Chooch. Bye.

10:53pm: I lied. I’m back. We just stopped at this rest stop that has something called TRAILHEAD and Henry said it has something to do with the bike trail that goes to DC or whatever. I needed to get the rest of my steps for the day so we walked over to look at the pavilion that was built and apparently just opened today???-

I guess this is supposed to have a 3D effect but ok.

Oh! When I was in the bathroom, one of the girls working at Baskin was at the sink with me and she said she liked my shoes (just Vans) so of course I had to run back to Henry and tell him because it’s always news worthy when I get a compliment since I am attention starved, always. He didn’t care.

Anyway, this whole time I have been crying over my stomach pains which I have had ever since eating at fucking IKEA. My stomach is so bloated and distended that I could pass for a pregnant lady.

Henry was annoyed that he had to accompany me on my rest stop walk but I was like I DONT WANT SOME TRUCKER TO BE LIKE OOH LOOK AT THIS LATE-IN-LIFE PREGNANT BROAD WHILE LICKING HIS LIPS.

Henry thought this was hilarious and I was like THERE ARE MEN OUT THERE THAT I WOULD APPEAL TO YOU WILL BE SORRY WHEN I GET TAKEN.

Then I started spiraling out. “What if when they check CCTV to get the last known footage of me being seen alive they see me walking through that last rest stop parking lot when I was caressing my fake pregnant stomach and then the APB really does say I’m a late in life pregnant lady???” Henry was like, “omg plz stop.” But then he said that’s probably why the Baskin girl said she liked my shoes, she felt sorry for me being “old and pregnant” and I snapped, “I never said OLD I said LATE IN LIFE but thanks for speaking your truth.”

Then we argued over Trailhead some more because THE HEAD OF THE TRAIL CANNOT EVEN BE ACCESSED AT THIS REST STOP?! Henry said it’s like a mile and a half away. I am so irritated by this.

I’M WRITING THIS ON CHOOCH’S 19TH BIRTHDAY, BTW!!! It feels so strange not getting to celebrate with him in person, and knowing him, none of his Drexel friends even know it’s his birthday. My work group chat wants to pool monies and hire a skywriter to fly over Drexel, lol. “HBD CHOOCH A/K/A RILEY, MOMMY LOVES YOU.”

I did buy him tickets to the Men I Trust concert this September, which as you know, I will always associate with the maybe-dead-body we saw upon leaving the Mattress Factory. :/

Anyway, in lieu of having real time birthday stuff to share on here, here’s some pictures from the second half our day in Philly last Saturday.

I have wanted to check out Laurel Hill Cemetery since years before Chooch started going to college in Philly and it finally happened last weekend! Lucky for Chooch, HENRY left the DSLR at home so the Easter photoshoot I had in my hopes and dreams was dashed – however, Chooch was also sick with a cold so I likely would have let him off the hook anyway. Instead, we just took some casual photos which was still annoying to Chooch.

But come on, dude. Moms need pics of their kids, no matter the age!

I loved this classic hearse! I had to send pictures to my dad who has always been a classic car aficionado. He responded right away with his guess of year – “Neat – looks about a 1948” he replied.

Dude, this donut bag pops up in every picture, I swear. It was even sitting on a wall later on when Chooch was taking pictures of me and Henry “running,” and I had to crop it out. (THAT WAS YESTERDAY’S POST IN CASE YOU MISSED IT.)

If this was Korea, we would have had to wait in line to get these pictures. Trees are famous in Korea! And the ones here in Laurel Hill were poppin’ off this spring. The juxtaposition of decrepit tombstones and bright florals was so my vibe.

FYI – Chooch got that shirt last fall when he won dodgeball or something.

Honestly, I didn’t even know he was sick until halfway during our cemetery walk when was like, “Leave me alone, I’m sick” and I was like, “Wait, you are?” and he was like, “Hello, have you not seen me coughing this entire time??”

All the moms are momming.

Then there’s me.

Me taking dumb selfies and apparently ignoring the symphony of sickn emanating from my child.

Mwah. Chef’s kiss. This place probably looks impeccably macabre on a rainy day, too.

Maybe this is where we’ll take Chooch’s college graduation portraits?!

I love a cem with layers.

Like a cake.

But old and rotted.

I am really so deep in my feelings over this birthday. 19!! This whole past year has made me question life and time every single time. Who am I? What is my purpose now? Just lots of panic and sadness. And confusion.

You can take tours here but we didn’t have enough time. I do know that the Rittenhouse guy is buried here (there is a Rittenhouse building thing in Philly so that’s my only knowledge of him) and the broad who petitioned the government to recognize Thanksgiving as a federal holiday.

I learned this by watching “Philly cemetery” vids on YouTube, which is also how I found a news clip of a recent incident at a local Philly cem where the pallbearers FELL INTO THE BURIAL HOLE and there was a video of it happening which, OK THIS IS NOT TRULY FUNNY, but that sick and dark part of me started cracking up and I sent it to Corey and said, “I AM PICTURING JANNA FALLING INTO AN OPEN GRAVE NOW AND US MAKING HER DO IT OVER SO WE CAN RECORD IT” and he was like, “OMG YES!”

Quick, someone ask Janna to be a pallbearer!!

Chooch in the middle of criticizing / judging / mocking me. Normalcy!

And me in the process of making sure he’s being in an active participant in our MOMMY / SON photo sesh.

Donut bags.

None of us have seen this movie, but maybe you have so this could be interesting to you.

(Who are you?)

This is in the “Millionaires” section.

I Wiki’d this guy for you:

An English American industrialist who founded the Keystone Saw Works in 1840 and developed the surrounding Tacony neighborhood of Philadelphia to build housing for his workers. His company became the Disston Saw Works and was the top manufacturer of hand saws in the United States during the late 19th-century and early 20th century.

Boring.

SERIOUSLY, GO OFF QUEEN!!!

I feel bad that these are in the worst part, butted up against a chainlink fence along a busy road, but here’s some Rocky stuff for you. Chooch mumbled, “I guess I’ll take a picture too, ugh.” LOL.

After this, Chooch got to drive for the first time in Philly. He asked “an undisclosed friend” for some cafe recs and we ended up at Greek from Greece around the corner from his dorm. I got a butterfly pea latte and it was very refreshing! If we hadn’t had donuts, I’d have definitely gotten something from the dessert display there. They had orange pie! Next time. Next time.

I didn’t think so, but thank you, Mirror.

And that concludes another visit with Chooch!

WHO BTW JUST SENT ME THESE PICTURES AFTER I BEGGED HIM TO MAKE PICTURES OF JANNA FALLING INTO A GRAVE!!!!!

She looks so happy! “Wheeee!” Also, the way her torso and legs are facing opposite directions is sending me!

Philly is not exactly considered a “day trip” for most Pittsburghers, as it takes a good 4.5 – 5 hours by car. Yet somehow, we have done this approx. 5 times in the last 6 months. It is effing exhausting but worth it to get a few hours of quality time with Chooch. (If you ask him, he will likely drop the ‘quality’ and just call it ‘time’ haha, annoying parents.) Ideally, we would have liked to have spent the whole weekend there, but we are going away to Detroit this weekend and:

• $$$
• hate leaving Penelope overnight for two weekends in a row

So, a quick Saturday trip it was! The drive there was relatively uneventful. Sheetz stop for breakfast where I flipped out and cried, “EVERY TIME I TURN AROUND THERE ARE MEN IN MY WAY! MEN ARE EVERYWHERE I NEED TO BE!” and Henry was about to say “calm down,” I could tell. But he thought better of it and instead said, “What do you need, I’ll get it for you” – NICE TRY! This just made me even more angry and I shouted, “I CAN DO IT MYSELF!”

In case you were wondering, I needed coffee in a bigly way but there were MEN at the coffee area, stinking it up with waves of toxic masculinity, and then every time I turned a corner – MORE FUCKING MEN.

I really wanted to rip my skin off. Or theirs.

OK, theirs. LOL.

Then Waze was like, “Hi, here is a new way for you to try, apropos of nothing” and it ended up taking us through some park with lots of lollygagging drivers, but we finally arrived at Chooch’s dorm around 1:00!

I was so excited because ever since the first time we went to Drexel for a visit last April, I have been obsessed with this cute breakfast/lunch spot called SABRINA’S. I guess there are numerous locations around town but the one on Drexel’s campus is by far the most aesthetic because of the sweet ass Victorian house in which the millennial brunch classics are whipped up.

We had about a 20 minute wait so Chooch took us around the corner to some campus market thing that he goes to a lot, just a convenience store thing where he can use his Dragon dollars (OMG this just gave me a flashback to when I went to Pitt as a non-trad student and begged my mom to add cash to my Panther card so I could use it in the vending machines and she was like, “ha ha” but I was serious). Anyway, the older woman cashier was all, “HEY BABY!” to Chooch and then she chuckled and said, “I KNOW I’LL SEE YOU LATER” because he evidently is a REGULAR there and also, I am aware that the way I wrote this makes it sound like she is predatory but she was sincerely just a very jovial woman.

I loved how everywhere we went around campus, people knew Chooch. He’s branching out, you guys. I love that for him!

Then we were sitting outside of Sabrina’s waiting for our table and a group of old ladies walked past, but one stopped dead in her tracks and exclaimed, “OH I LOVE YOUR SHOES!” but it was DIRECTED AT CHOOCH, NOT ME. Chooch gets all the attention in Philly!!! I am just the shadow in the background there. It’s fine, I’m OK with that.

(Am I though? Currently plotting my outfit/accessories for our next visit. Must upstage him.)

THAT LOOK OF DISDAIN, DO YOU THINK HE MISSED ME?

I loved everything about Sabrina’s. It’s small and our table right in the flight path of the servers, but it still somehow felt cozy and delightful. Every staff member we interacted with was beyond friendly. And the menu is so veg/vegan friendly! I had the hardest time choosing what I wanted. I thought for sure it was going to be the banh mi because I had studied the menu online prior to our visit and even sent Chooch a screenshot of it.

“That looks good,” he replied, and I was shocked because it was one of those rare moments where he was acting like an adult and not a kid who is perpetually annoyed and embarrassed of his parent.

But then we got there and the actual menu seemed larger than the one online, so my options began to expand until I finally settled on the OG Vegan bowl with tofu, boy-o.

Henry got the Korean bowl (it came with chicken and didn’t have sub options like some of the other menu items so I didn’t want to be difficult by asking) and POLENTA FRIES, and Chooch got some kind of omelet. We were all content.

After lunch, we drove to Dottie’s Donuts – we went to a different location YEARS ago and I’m happy that they’re still around. I know none of us our vegan but when the options are there, I will take it so I always like to look for vegan spots when we’re on road trips. While we were at lunch, Dottie’s most recent post came up in my IG feed and it was a table-thumping moment for me.

“The special donut this weekend at Dottie’s is BAKLAVA.”

“I guess we’re going to Dottie’s,” Henry sighed as though he wasn’t secretly getting hot for donuts.

Dude, this fucker was bussin’. I was sad that once again I made poor choices and said I would share this with Henry. What an unbelievable life fail. We took our bounty to the Laurel Hill Cemetery (separate post to come!) and Henry is so lucky that I was feeling a modicum of love for him at the time because he immediately walked over to the office to use the bathroom, leaving me alone with this bad boy which I could have easily inhaled in three bites, but I somehow managed to stop myself at the halfway mark.

(This is also mostly because I have been feeling super down on myself re: old lady weight gain this past year, and actually much less to do with any spousal love haha.)

Anyway, we also got a Thai tea donut to share, and Chooch got two of his own – also a Thai tea and a vanilla frosted I think. Excellent, chewy donuts in a beautiful setting in perfect spring weather with my favorite people back together again.  I couldn’t have been happier.

8:09am: we just left to drive Chooch back to Philly :( Running behind schedule because

1. He wasn’t fully packed
2. He “lost” his wallet (it was on his bed but he didn’t realize he didn’t have it until we were getting in the car

Anyway, I didn’t plan this but my nail polish perfectly matches my windbreaker so then I had to swap out my shoes and purse to complete the coordination. Not seen – pendant that also got the memo.

8:40am: Sheetz update! Henry is bitching because we spent over $40 like we just went to a restaurant for breakfast. Then Henry thought he was a hero because he held the door open for a man exiting with a case of Mountain Dew but I ALSO HELD A DOOR OPEN FOR HIM?! Then right as Henry was getting ready to start the car, the Mountain Dew guy pulled up alongside of us in his white stallion truck to signal that Henry’s DRINK WAS ON THE ROOF OF THE CAR. It was a real wholesome moment like a scene out of Donna Reed or some shit. Henry did the “another mans is talkin’ to me” hyuk hyuk, his standard response.

9:52am: CHOOCH IS/WAS READING A BOOK. Apparently I disrupted him by telling Henry I need to pee so that drew attention to him at which point I started bombarding him with questions and then Henry was like HE IS READING A BOOK! and I almost broke neck trying to turn around to see. It’s a Brandon Sanderson book and I said “I want to read his books but they’re like 800 pages.”

“I know,” Chooch grunted.

“That doesn’t look like it’s 800 pages,” Henry said.

“That’s because it broke and the other part is in my dorm,” Chooch said. Sounds about right. It’s also not his book but his friend Ben’s in case anyone needs to note that in the log.

10:13am: First rest stop of the drive in Bedford and Chooch realized that he forgot something.

“My Rubik’s Cube!” he cried. Oh to the well.

Then it took him forever to decide what snack he wanted from 7-seven and Henry was so annoyed and ughhhh I’m going to miss this. :(

12:57pm: In traffic outside of Philly. Chooch and I slept most of the ride haha. But now he and Henry are arguing because chooch put the window down. “THE AC IS ON!” Henry bellowed. And chooch mouthed off back and then Henry angrily twisted the AC knob to OFF and is pouting now. Welcome us, Philly! We’re here!

Also this was happening during the Jennie / Dua Lipa “Handlebars” song and I yelled at them for ruining it for me.

“I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT THIS IS!” chooch yelled. Wowowowow.

I can’t remember if it was our flight to Korea but on some recent long-haul flight I listened to a Dua Lipa playlist on the inflight entertainment thing for nearly the whole flight while playing some number game and Chooch was disgusted.

1:27pm:

1:51pm: We’re here! First Henry to go back to get his phone in the garage because he’s an idiot so Chooch and I ditched him because we had to pee.

In that building back there! There are also bunnies roaming the grounds everywhere over there which is cute but weird.

College bathroom selfie!

Now we’re waiting for gross SEPTA to take us downtown.

2:25pm: well no one was paying attention and we passed the stop (to be fair no one told me where we were going) so we ended up having to walk a bit which was a big Lost in Korea mood with Henry and Chooch bickering. It warmed my heart.

But anyway we had to put our name in at Bae Bombon so we came next door to Black Turtle Coffee where the most agitated girl waited on us but whatever. We have iced drinks and are sitting peacefully in wait.

5:56pm: Henry and I are on our way home now. :( Another lackluster goodbye from our son lol.

We did finally eating at Bar Bombon and it was good but S H E E S H getting a table was an ordeal and I said no less than 17 times that I wanted to just go elsewhere. We did attempt to go to a place across the street called The Love or something but they had just closed for the between brunch / dinner time.

I got really mad because it appeared that the hostess gave our table to some old bitches who came straight from yoga, rolled mats and all, but Henry the White Knight of Hostesses because it reminds him of the packaged baked goods mmm Ho Hos, insisted that they were ahead of us on Open Table. Ok Henry. You know everything.

Then they tried to give us the lone table in the front right smack in the busy sidewalk after saying that they would seat us inside and I was like NO THANK YOU.

They promised Henry if we could wait a few more minutes they’d have a table for us inside. Overall our 30 minute wait in the beginning turned into over an hour and I was very displeased about that because it was after 3pm and none of us had eaten since around 9 and I especially was getting hangry. Ok I had bypassed hangry and was firmly planted in much mad starving zone.

Henry was all THANK YOU THANK YOU when the hostess finally summoned us and it was so annoying.

But we had the best seat in the place at all – corner table just the way I like it.

I will say this: ambiance was great. Our server was wonderful. The hearts of palm “fish” tacos I ordered were incredible.

However! We also ordered two starters but our tacos came first (and actually surprisingly fast) and we were told like 3x that our starters would be out soon, then our server was like “let me go check on those starters.” Approx 15 minutes after we finished our tacos, the starters came and Henry joked that they were finishers now but Chooch and I didn’t laugh because that was dumb so you better not have laughed either.

We got some kind of yuca sticks on a pool of nacho (?) sauce which was really good but now what I was expecting. I thought the yuca would be like fries and crispy but they were soft.

And a plate of sweet plantains. I love plantains so much.

Overall it ended up being a good meal but kind of not worth the wait and probably won’t be going back.

We opted to walk back to Drexel after that because I always like to walk after eating a big (to me) meal. MAYBE THAT IS JUST ME. And it’s a really nice walk too. Flat, scenic, and only about 20 minutes.

7:01pm: Checking in to say I’m on my biannual Danity Kane nostalgia tour. This time it’s because Henry said that one of Jennie’s new songs reminds him of a Danity Kane song and I said WILD BC JISOO’S EARTHQUAKE REMINDS ME OF DANITY KANE. (Jennie and Jisoo are both from Blackpink for any anti-kpop person who might themselves reading this).

So now we’re listening to Danity Kane. Fuck you, Diddy. Truly.

Anyway back to Philly – here are some pics from the walk:

I sent this to Corey and he asked me if I wrote that? I mean I’m a Stay but I don’t like them THAT much lol.

The sidewalk was closed at one point and Henry and Chooch were arguing about this. I thought I heard Henry say something about having to go underground so I screamed “we get to go understand?”

Chooch said to him, “Great, now you have her saying that.”

LOL wow.

But seriously I kept asking “when are we going underground though?” And they’d yell in tandem, “We’re not!!”

Then we split up so Henry could go back to the garage to get the car while Chooch and I continued on to his dorm. We were sitting outside when he causally said that I might be able to meet his ROMANIAN friend Bianca!!! She had just made it back to Philly. “Actually there she is right there” and then I fucking spazzed out. “WHAT SHOULD I SAY TO HER??!”

“Oh my god please don’t make this weird. I shouldn’t have said anything,” he groaned as she was quickly approaching.

Turns out it didn’t matter because she came over and they briefly chatted about who else was back and then she went inside.

“Wow she didn’t even look at you,” Chooch laughed.

“Yeah thanks for introducing me!” I cried.

“Maybe she thought you were just another student,” he shrugged.

“OMG REALLY!” I squealed, mood instantly brightened. I mean, we really weren’t sitting that close and I was swinging my legs like a kid on a playground with my telephone purse on my lap. Just ignore my gray hairs and crows feet lol.

Then Henry came back and we had to take Chooch’s shit up to his room and he yelled at Henry repeatedly for stepping on his purple shag carpet which is remarkably clean I must say.

Before we left, I wanted to see the place he’ll be living next year. We couldn’t do much other than go on in the lobby but it’s this tall bitchin’ building behind him:

the final stop was the 7-Eleven near his dorm because he spent all week talking about how they have the best croissants – this location specifically. I mean I’m sure the entire country of France would like to weigh in on that but OK. I wanted to try for myself.

I mean, it was better than the one I had that morning but that was from Sheetz, so. For $1-ish (and for a convenience store) it was decent?

Anyway, it is. Ow 9:46pm and we have another hour left in this drive. Ugh. Signing off.

You guys! Chooch came home Thursday night and all feels right in the world (ok I’m gonna walk back on that one and just go with “in our house”).

First! During my lunch break on Friday, we walked to 802 Coffee where I, as per uje, ordered poorly and hated my latte but chooch’s was delightful (it was their dumb March leprechaun menu).

Then we stopped at the library specifically so he could say hi to Robert the Security Guard who always asks me how he is doing and just told me the other day that he keeps him I. His prayers. Get you a library security guard friend, you guys. Robert is such a gem and one of the few good things that came out of the pandemic because I only started talking to him during the very strict book pickups during the early part of COVID.

After work, Janna & Kara came over for pizza and to pepper Chooch with questions about college. So far, the first thing he tells everyone, including Robert, is that he has been playing Spikeball. (Shout out to Corey who got him this for Xmas and Chooch has said repeatedly that it’s one of the best presents he has ever got ok wow, RIP the memory of me presenting him with Hamilton tickets the first time it came to Pgh.)

It was a really chill night and also I liked this beer a lot even though I poured it wrong apparently.

Oh btw when Chooch came home Thursday night, he opened the fridge and yelled in disgust, “There is only beer in here!!!”

TO BE FAIR – we still have a lot of beer left from Chingumas. I put a moratorium on the weekend Duffy’s runs for build-your-own six packs because I was afraid of becoming an alcoholic. Now I will only drink in social situations like before. You heard it here first.

Smirking because approx. three of us asked him who he was texting and if it was this girl that I have latched on to because he let her name slip several times. They’re going to see The Weeknd with two or three other ppl and she bought all the tickets so I had to Venmo her money for him because I’m Mommy Dearest and also because concerts is the one thing I will never deprive him of.

(well, food and love too I guess lol.)

Anyway, it was such a wholesome night of reminiscing about psychos I attracted during the LJ years, game nights of yesteryear, and when Chooch was a baby with a giant head. It was the perfect start to the weekend!

I got this text from Chooch the other day and it cracked me up so bad. His dining hall has an app I guess where everyone can request songs and then apparently you can thumbs up or thumbs down the requests (here you can see Chooch thumbs downed the Earth Wind & Fire song “because my friend requested it,” he said in his defense. Isn’t he so much like me??!! I would be Janna’s biggest thumbs downer if we were part of this dining hall experience).

Anyway, I was stoked to see the SVT song in question because that one IS SO GOOD. I kept sending him different performances of it and he refused to watch (not even the one from Glastonbury! Or maybe it was Lolla Berlin I can’t remember).

Then!! He texted me a picture of the laptop of the girl sitting next to him in one of his classes – she has not one but TWO pictures of T.O.P.’s Squid Game character Thanos and I was like TELL HER YOUR MOM LOVES BIGBANG.

“She doesn’t know who that is,” he said. “She only knows him from squid game” but then he said he didn’t even ask her so WHO KNOWS – this could have been my future kid-in-law but sure. Cool.

Other incidents I think I already logged here:

• Someone was writing STREAM SEVENTEEN LOVE FAME MONEY on white boards and he accused me of breaking into the dorm lol
• He had to critique someone’s essay in his English class and it was ABOUT THE GLOBALIZATION OF KPOP and he said his feedback was “you forgot to mention that bts only sings in English now” lol snap. Apparently it was moot though because she only had one source to cite and it turned out to be some high school kids paper so she had to pick a new topic.

Also speaking of “Thanos,” my old T.O.P. Valentine has been selling thanks to his renewed popularity!

That’s all for me, reporting from the tail end of the longest Monday ever.

Booooo, we took Chooch back to Philly today. Unlike after Thanksgiving, this was a much better experience. Drove straight there. No fighting. Everyone was in a good mood. I helped Chooch take his stuff back to his room and organized his stack of games while I was at it because they were encroaching on his roommate’s side of the room.

Then we went to Nourish for a late vegan lunch and it was gooooood.

Buffalo wings and scallops to start.

Henry’s Philly steak or whatever. (It was fucking magnificent.)

Chooch had a chik’un Philly cheesesteak thing which I tasted after I had already declared mine the best of the bunch and now I’m just not sure because that seasoning, the peppers, the sauce. Sheesh.

LOOK AT THIS THICC BOY ARE U KIDDING. I have never had a sandwich that tall before.

Not even the Inkigayo!

It took me OUT. I ate half and honestly probably could have housed the rest but Henry gave me the “you’ll get sick” speech so I tapped out and am already anticipating polishing it off later tonight on the road.

Chooch walking the streets of Philly in his Seahawks hoodie and Minion crocs. Sigh.

I briefly got to see one of his friends he’ll be living with next year and then he quickly hugged me and that was that…

…until he came running back to the car because he lost his room key in the backseat and found it lodged inside the middle console thingie. Jesus Christ, him and keys, wallets, and debit cards. I can’t.

ETA Sheetz over Wawa everyday all day long. Fuck Wawa, truly.

• “There’s nothing to eat in this house.” x26278344 throughout the day.
• Walking into the kitchen in the morning to a sink full of dirty dishes even though “there’s nothing to eat in this house.”
• Towels all over the bathroom floor.
• Globs of toothpaste in the sink.
• “I’m bored.” x1728383949 throughout the day.
• Maniacal laughter and screaming well into the night as he plays his dumb computer games with his friends.
• Household expenses ⬆️.
• “I want….” x373848484 throughout the day.
• “I need….” x383849494 throughout the day.
• Annoying YouTube videos featuring grown men screaming playing in the background while I’m working.
• “There’s nothing to do.” x9992827737 throughout the day.
• The rise in my blood pressure when he has an eye appt and I give him my insurance and HSA card and he OF COURSE leaves the house without it and then texts me angrily from the doctor demanding me to “take a picture of the insurance card” so I do and then I go back to work and about 30 minutes later he texts again this time needing my HSA card # and because it took me a whopping 10 seconds to retrieve the card, he then texts THIS IS SO EMBARRASSING. Well yeah and good for the doof who WAS PROVIDED BOTH CARDS IN ADVANCE BY A RESPONSIBLE PARENT yet STILL LEFT WITHOUT BOTH.
• A text sarcastically thanking me for not telling him some road is one lane due to construction.
• Being in the middle of writing a work email while a rant about “and why did I have to pay anything anyway, isn’t that what insurance is for?!” is being tossed around behind me. Welcome to America, sonny boy. (It was a $10 copay but still, he was S H O C K E D by this.)
• Being told throughout the day that everything I do, say, an(d like is dumb like it’s my life’s theme song (omg is this how Henry feels lol).

But other than that, it’s been so nice having him home! 😆

Thank god someone the Drexel Catholic group was on the ball yesterday for first day of classes or else this would have been a true of an era re: FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL PICTURES!

I’m so excited about this, less sad than I thought I would be because I can already see him thriving and it’s the coolest feeling for a parent. Henry and I are both so proud of him!

I mean, as long as he doesn’t get off track, that is!!

The day finally came where Chooch spread his wings while Henry and I called out from the ground, “FLY BABY BIRD FLY” which is what I would have said on here in all sincerity if I were a momfluencer or something and not an affection claustrophobe who legit just cringed when she typed that. But in all fairness, my eyes did spontaneously squirt in copious amounts the moment we arrived at the designated “move-in meet-up lot” where we drove through a series of checkpoints manned by high-energy Drexel staff / volunteers who were eager to be a part of our journey, or at least did a fantastic job acting like it.

When Chooch peeped my soggy eyeballs, he said, “No. Don’t do that.”

I guess I should also note that Henry refused to listen to Chooch when he was trying to tell him that we weren’t supposed to go directly to the dorm, but of course Henry was like I AM MAN, I KNOW EVERYTHING and tried to pull past the cop that was partially blocking the street that the dorm is on, and the cop was like WRONG. PULL OVER AND I WILL GIVE YOU DIRECTIONS and then the car behind us was beeping so the cop stepped up and yelled, “HOLD ON! YOU JERK OFF*.” And then scowled at him as the car zipped past us. I was dying. It is rare that I like a cop but this guy was a winner.

*(Had this been a Pittsburgh cop, it would have been JAG OFF. Don’t say I don’t teach you stuff on here, non-‘Burghers. Maybe we’ll do a quiz at the end of the year. Pay attention.)

So, Chooch was correct and there was the aforementioned parking lot that was designated as the first stop, where we checked in, got the tag for the car which included name tags that the movers would need, and then we all got pins too! That’s all I cared about really. My DREXEL MOM pin which I immediately attached to my hamburger purse that served as the thorn in Chooch’s side all day when COLLEGE STUDENTS were peppering me with enthusiastic compliments and probably whispered, “IS SHE HIS SISTER? SHE IS COOL” behind our backs.  Yeah, that’s me. You know that’s right.

Anyway! Now that we were properly tagged, we drove back to the dorm and this time the cop stepped aside for us and I waved at him frantically, but he ignored me.

Drexel has their move-in process so well-oiled, I will give them that. We were in the 9:30am time slot and when we rolled up to the dorm, a group of movers started taking all of Chooch’s crap out of the car and loading it into a giant box with his name and room # on it, plus we were required to tag all of his stuff too before getting there. This whole process took about a minute. It couldn’t have gone more smoothly!

From here, we went to the Drexel parking garage to stash our car so that we could then troll campus. Right as we got out of the car, my mom texted and asked if we met the roommate yet. Right as I was saying ‘not yet,’ Chooch started walking to a car behind ours where a family had just gotten out and yep – it was the roommate! They became IG friends a few mths ago and sort of got to know each other that way, to the extent that your average 18 year old opens up on social media.

The roommate is Kussh from NJ and his parents were SO DOWN TO THE EARTH, but also way more parental than Henry and me – the dad in Dockers and the mom in respectable slacks. Henry was in his usual costume of a baggy shirt in some ugly cousin of coral, and I was wearing an ATEEZ concert shirt with my hamburger purse.

When we got to the dorm room, the mom handed me a Clorox wipe and I was like, “Oh…thanks” and then had to low key watch to see what I was supposed to do with it. She had immediately begun to wipe down all surfaces, so I followed suit, albeit with much less vigor. I helped a little, I swear I did, but after a while I just sat on the bed and surveyed the progress like the foreman of a construction site.

I had to send this to my mom. Somewhere along the way, Chooch had found this old sweatshirt from my Pappap’s drywall company. It must have been in the attic closet, I don’t know, but he had started wearing it several years ago and it made it to Drexel with him!

As well as Wawa coupons that a co-worker sent him which, according to my friend Nate “add some color to the cinder block walls” lol.

After a first pass at getting the room organized, we ventured out to campus to see what was going on (and by this I mean that Chooch was on the prowl for “free shit” – his favorite past time). After signing up for a raffle at a Giant table (still not sure if this affiliated with our local Giant Eagle supermarkets and here I am with the wide world web at my fingertips but also happen to be sitting under a cloak of ambivalence so maybe later), and grabbing a free water bottle, he went and got his Dragon card.

I really like that he’s at a school with an urban campus. It’s so bustling and exciting there! AND FOOD TRUCKS EVERYWHERE.

He’s on the second floor from the top!

There’s a good bit of green space too and you will be happy to know – A TON OF MR. GRAY GUYS. (Gray squirrels, duh.) I kept calling out, “Hi Mr. Gray Guy! I love you!” every 10 seconds much to Chooch’s delight.

Then it was lunch time! We walked to a nearby food hall called Franklin Table or something which appeared to be more on the UPenn campus (Drexel and UPenn butt up against each other, much like two similar colleges in Chooch’s hometown – Pitt and CMU. I hadn’t even realized that parallel until my friend Lori pointed it out and I was like, “…..oh!). I wanted to go here because Goldie, a vegan joint known for their tahini shakes. I’ve been following them for years on Instagram and now it was finally time!

I got the OG flavor and can confirm that it was worth the wait. I want to have one every time I visit Chooch now. I got some rice paper burrito thing with tofu at a neighboring counter (so did Chooch) and I liked it but it was too big and also a pain in the ass to eat. So I traded with Henry and gave him my remaining half for his Goldie’s falafel plate. Also – their pita was SO GOOD AND WARM AND FLUFFY!

Henry and Chooch both got drinks from a boba place there too. Between all these nearby vegan options and the dining hall(s) at Drexel, Chooch better never complain about being hungry because I felt extremely well-fed!

This was a street behind the Franklin food thingie – it’s so cute!

Then we took Septa (I hate that name so much) to the H-Mart in Upper Darby which was definitely not the best H-Mart I’ve ever been to, that’s for sure. I’m pretty sure this isn’t the best one in Philly but it was the most convenient one for us to get to at that time. Chooch picked up some snacks and treats for the room and I got myself a bag of those adorable salt bread snacks that I bought in Seoul and somehow spent a whole week eating in the hotel room:

Um, it did not take me a week to eat the whole bag this time, though.

Definitely NOT the face of someone who will miss their mother snapping photos of them doing ordinary things like waiting for the subway. BUT MAYBE HE WILL.

Then we came back to University City and explored some more, got some free shirts, he ran from table to table in the welcome center, making connections, signing up for things, getting the scoop on upcoming events. It was fun to hang back and watch him go off. I am certain that he was made for the college life.

I dunno what was going on here, probably just me being excited that Chooch has a dorm room.

View from his window!

I made him change into his Drexel shirt LOL. What – other people were also wearing theirs?!

AND THEN I FINALLY GOT TO TAKE A BETTER PICTURE OF HIM WITH THE DRAGON! THE PICTURE I HAD BEEN HOPING FOR ALL WEEKEND!

I’d like to point out that some of the RAs commented on my hamburger purse :) Hopefully they will recognize Chooch going forward as “that kid with the cool mom who we originally thought was also a student because she was so YOUNG AND COOL LOOKING.”

Hahaha. Ugh.

We walked around campus a bit before leaving because Chooch wanted to see the Computer Science building. On the way there, we saw a young Asian couple arguing in the same way couples in Korea argue – usually they will stand and look at each other in anger without really speaking and something akin to that was happening here until the girl stormed off ahead of him and at that point I was like, “Aw, that looks like me and Henry.”

Anyway, as soon as we came out of the computer science building, the guy-part of the couple came RUNNING past us, but his girlfriend was no longer with him! There is a Kung Fu Tea on the block, and two people came running to the door to watch this, like they recognized him, and I deduced that perhaps Kung Fu Tea was the origin of the fight??

I guess you had to be there, but we were pretty invested. I wonder if they are still fighting.

A NEON MUSEUM is also attached to the computer science building!!

Um…then we walked and got coffee at Madis which we attempted to go to last April but it was PACKED because there was also a street fair happening that day and everyone was out and about. It wasn’t that much less crowded this time either, I will tell you that much. I dunno, it was ok. But I ordered poorly – I felt rushed and just got a plain iced latte instead of something fun because I couldn’t see the menu.

This was moments before we finally cut the cord and left OUR BABY IN PHILLY. Henry per usual took the worst picture of me but whatever, at least I have it. Then Henry went back inside to pee and while he was in there, Chooch was like, “Well, I guess I’m going back to my room now” and I said, “You’re not going to say goodbye to your dad?”

“I mean…if I see him in there, I will.”

W-O-W lol.

I was sitting on the wall watching, and right when Chooch got to the door, Henry started to come out, and what happened next will be seared into my memory forever.

HENRY SHOOK HIS HAND.

Chooch’s face scrunched up in confusion. Then they were both laughing so hard that their faces were red. I think they also attempted to hug but that was thwarted by both of them being awkward and then they gave up and went their separate ways. I was fucking dying, like literally almost pissed my pants, watching this unfold and by the time Henry joined me, I could barely breathe.

“WTF WAS THAT?” I wheezed. “You shook his hand??”

“Well, he was turned at a weird angle and I couldn’t hug him, I don’t know!” Henry laughed.

I guess Henry also thought that Chooch was on his way inside to find him to say goodbye and I said, “Oh, no. He had every intention on just going straight to his room. He said if he ran into you, fine.”

“Wow,” Henry muttered.

Overall, I feel OK about this. I haven’t had any soul-crushing cry seshes since we’ve been home (I did have a few last spring though – this whole-ass process has been stressful AF, I am not even being overly dramatic here) and I think right now, I am feeling really excited for him and also a sense of FOMO because I didn’t go to college right after high school and I never really regretted it but I think I would have been SO FUCKING GOOD AT IT. I mean, the social part. I was a real character back then, had no fear, no filter, was loud and proud. Basically, who my therapist is helping me find again. :)

I’m really stoked to get to see more of Philly and find places that can be my “spot” when I visit. I definitely want to try more matcha places! He is apparently going to take us to Reading Terminal Market on Sunday because of all of the times we have been in Philly, we have not once been there and he just went yesterday with a group and sent me pictures.

“Don’t worry, they have donuts too,” he said, and I was like, “WOW, you make me sound like a cop.”

6:30am: at some dumb Sleep Inn in Harrisburg, getting ready to continue on to Philly for admitted students day at Drexel. Chooch just told us that he forgot to pack socks and underwear. College-ready, you guys.

Mom to a soon-to-be-18-yo and (maybe, debatable) college student.

The stress I have been under over this, whoooooooooweeeeeeeee.

We’re staying down the road from Capitol Diner and Henry has pointed out 6x that we have eaten there before and I was like OK! We get it! God! Move on! But then as we left the hotel this morning he pointed it out again and I snapped and had to consult my blog because he sent me down a rabbit hole of misinformation about when we had eaten there. Anyway, it was in 2010 when we went to Lancaster with Tommy and Jessy and ditched them on the way home and ate there without them lol. It was when I was heavy into my Weener Phase:

I remember posting my Henry Weener art on Facebook and getting reported by someone, probably Henry.

7:31am: Just stopped at a rest area in Bowmansville for Dunkin in case you were wondering and now Henry is muttering about how they’re always out of something. It was just what he and chooch wanted so it didn’t affect me.

I wish US Dunkin would get the injeolmi lattes!! Someone find out how to make me one and then make it for me. I’ll wait. Almond, soy, or oat is fine! I’m not picky with non-dairy milks.

8:39am: I mean I like that it’s a dragon.

9:00am: When I told Nate I wasn’t sure if this was a fly-by-night college or what, he said “founded in 1891 by Anthony J. Drexel, a financier and philanthropist”

“I don’t think it’s fly-by-night, Erin.”

I saw him!

Tony!

9:08am: Standing here waiting to register and some student ambassador came over and asked Chooch what events he’s looking forward to attending and he was like “…mm I’m just really looking forward to seeing the campus in general” and she was like, “blah blah dorm tours blah recommend.”

And then something about a free shirt which sounds cool.

“I was afraid that was going to happen,” Chooch said when she walked away. “I literally just went to the website yesterday” and then did his signature maniacal giggle.

This is going well.

9:20am:

We were the first ones to register and the first ones to make it to wherever we are now and every ambassador very cheerfully greeted us and pointed out that we were first which fed my ego and made me feel like I was about to get in line for FIRST ROW OF FIRST RIDE OF THE DAY on Steel Vengeance or something.

Shit we’re getting giddy now. Thirty more minutes until this starts.

9:33am: all of a sudden Dua Lipa’s Levitating came on FULL BLAST like way louder than all the songs before it bc they know her super fan Erin R. Kelly is here. Chooch is annoyed. I feel like I’m on the plane to Korea again because I listened to a Delta-sanctioned Dua Lipa playlist on repeat for approx. 6 hours by accident and Chooch was disgusted.

10:48am OK that presentation is over (um I cried IMMEDIATELY when it started) and now we’ve been ushered off to the College of Computing & Informatics for that presentation. I have to pee really bad and am also nervous about Chooch becoming a Flyers fans. I don’t care about the other sports teams. But NO FLYERS OR NO CHRISTMAS, SONNY BOY.

11:31am: the girl in front of me (sister of admitted student I guess) is watching a Chinese drama on her phone and I’m trying to watch too because I tried to pay attention to this presentation but I’m bored.

12:39pm: finally back outside. I broke the paper towel dispenser in one of the bathrooms. Some girl said “just leave it” which is why I’m able to update with a picture of these beautiful trees and not my view from the underneath of the paper towel dispenser as I’m trying to fix it with the bubblegum I’m not chewing.

1:20pm: at the dining hall eating a salad and vegan chicken tenders.

Also we did a dorm tour if you could call it that and Chooch got some interior design inspo.

1:34pm Henry just came back to the table with an ice coffee which he STIRRED WITH HIS FINGER and then STUCK HIS FINGER IN HIS MOUTH and when he removed his finger, coffee droplets flung onto his shirt and I cried U R SO EMBARRASSING and then Chooch started laughing so hard that he spit his drink out all over the table.

Also here is Chooch asking a fake question about college nutrition in order to get free stuff SPECIFICALLY a squeezable fruit stress ball but he picked the wrong thing and grabbed a heart by accident lol.

Lol he just went up and took a grape and is very smug now.

1:52pm:

2:01pm: Just visited the study abroad table lololol

3:56pm Done with Drexel finally and walking to a cafe. Look how green! No filter!

Now we’re at Black Turtle Coffee, coffee finally.

Back to Drexel stuff, we took a really awkward campus tour with a freshman named Sam from Ghana. He was very nice but we had NO questions. Chooch was going to ask, “When was that tree planted?” just to have something to ask. We did make friends with the mom of the other kid on the tour with us. They’re from Connecticut and he has also not committed.

This was in the science building and it is allegedly the tallest whatever-this-is in North America.

And this is modeled after DNA!

We were going to go here but it reminded me of the place in Stockholm where we were charged $25 for two lattes that some old man basically made out of his house. Scammed.

Also we’re sitting in the basement of this cafe and it’s giving “hiding from the Red Coats.”

Henry: the fuck are you talking about.

Me: look at that corner over there!! That doesn’t remind you of like, the Revolutionary War?

He said something dumb about thinking back to when he lived through that war.

This was the best picture I could get on the fly bc there were people all around. Ugh people.

Decent place I guess! It’s no Seoul cafe but that’s fine. Ugh.

4:46pm: I just flipped out and said that there has to be a family out there who would appreciate me and my joyful presence and witty candor etc and Chooch started to list off the traits that I apparently “forgot” such as how I am supposedly “emotionally manipulative” and Henry started yelling about how I’m treated like a princess while meanwhile I was trying to remember what else I had said about myself and Chooch said “maybe if you weren’t listing off lies, you’d remember.”

5:19pm: It’s not Seoul :(

In the middle of trying to dodge my surprise snaps.

5:51pm: at Monster Vegan and Hall & Oats was playing when we walked in and everyone is so awesome and cool here!

7:10pm: We opted to walk back to the car which we left parked on the Drexel campus rather than take the subway again because we need to digest this dinner – shoooooo, it was so good but heavy.

Henry cutting my Argento chicken parm because I didn’t feel like it haha.

7:28pm: Ugh just left the parking garage what a long ass day.

I’m going to end this here because we’re just driving back to our hotel which is in Harrisburg – we wanted to:

1. Not have to drive all the way to Philly after work yesterday;

2. Be close to Hershey Park which is what we’re doing tomorrow.

I can’t foresee anything exciting happening between now and then so see you later, Mary. Give Peter and Paul a kiss for me, etc.