Henry is on the road today with one of the drivers, making sweet Faygo deliveries together. Normally, I’d be whatever about this, but on THIS day, I am sick.

Not terribly sick, but enough that I feel compelled to whine about it every 3 minutes. So yeah, I guess terribly sick.

I keep making copious calls to Henry, wanting to whine and pout and have him baby me (which would never happen anyway) but instead of indulging me, he adopts this stiff and business-like tone, like he is EMBARRASSED that his sick woman has the nerve to call him, looking for sympathy.

I mean, if he’d rather me take my sympathy-search down to the corner bar, I CAN DO THAT.

Instead, I turned to Twitter, because my friends over there don’t know exactly how extreme my whininess actually is, so some of them will pander to my ego and make me feel whole again. Henry does not approve of this enabling.

Anyway, one of my twitter friends, David, suggested that this would be a prime opportunity for Manual to call Henry. So he did!

Connecting…….
Registering…
Placing call…
Connected at Mar 17, 2011 12:31:15 PM
IP RELAY RO80027M
PLS HD DIALING
412 605 2143
RING 1
2
3
(M)

please leave message for me? GA

hello
(CALL ENDED)
(ANOTHER CALL QQ) GA

please call back leave message? GA

(thank you redialing)
RING 1
2
3
4
5

Papi it is me Manual. I am quite ill and I need medicine GA

6
(Still ringing, would you like to continue q GA)
(ANS MACH)
(LEAVING MSG)

please bring it to me this afternoon GA
along with your pink blanket and sexy arms to wrap around me GA
that always make me feel good GA
have a bueno day, papi GA
kiss kiss GA

that is all thank u so much I am sick GA

(you’re welcome)
————-

I love that Henry actually answered, realized who it was, then hung up. Also, I think it’s rude that the operator didn’t cry for me (or even ACKNOWLEDGE) when I said I was sick.

Just another person to hate today.

But then, I started to get angrier. So I called back.

———-
Connecting…….
Registering…
Placing call…
Connected at Mar 17, 2011 12:52:10 PM
IP RELAY RO80811M
PLS HD DIALING
412 605 2143RING 1
2

please leave a message for me? GA

(ANS MACH)
(what message would you like to leave please Q ) GA

i know you are with Miguel! GA

(THK U REDIALING PLS HOLD)
RING 1
2
(ANS MACH)

that is no excuse to hang up on me! you know that I am ill on this day GA
and you choose to be with another senor GA
this is unacceptable. GA
I will be leaving your belongings on the porch. GA
I can’t find your butt plug so you will need to buy a new one GA
and I will not bathe your mami anymore GA

(MSG LEFT)
(ANOTHER CALL QQ) GA

I was not finished, but thank u. GA

(please clarify instructions) GA
(you’re welcome)
———-
I didn’t bother removing Henry’s cell # from the transcript. Feel free to text and call him as much as you see fit.