We were really flying by the seat of our pants with this one. When I first bought the concert tickets, I was excited because it was on a Saturday and thought, “Oh, we can turn it into a weekend trip!” but then as it got closer, I was like, “Or we can just get there early, spend the day hanging out, and then drive back after the show.” And then it was the day before and I was like, “Fuck it, let’s just leave at noon, eat dinner there, go to the show and come home.” I just hate leaving Penelope, even for a full day or overnight, ever since Drew died. It seriously is the worst and I feel so guilty, and now she’s going through this extreme picky phase with her food so I feel like I spend most of the day offering her different things, hand-feeding her treats, it’s a whole thing. (Yes, she’s being actively checked out by the vet and we have an appetite stimulant for her now too. All of her bloodwork came back fine, it’s just that she lost 2 pounds since her visit last year and as of the beginning of the year has decided that she doesn’t like dry food anymore and will only eat wet food but only certain kinds and then when she finds one she likes and we buy more, she doesn’t like it anymore. It’s been a whole thing and while she is eating, drinking water, peeing and pooping like normal, the vet put me in panic mode.)

Well, that was a lot to say that I didn’t feel very inspired to leave super early and I didn’t do my usual cafe and vegan food investigation like I normally would when we roadtrip. Sigh.

But! On a happy note, it all worked out anyway. We decided to just drive to the venue and find a place to park, because it’s street parking or GTFT (get the fuck towed) in this area. We got super lucky and found a spot RIGHT OUTSIDE of the venue. It was only 3PM, too early for dinner, but there was a place called Caca Cacao that I saw right around the corner so without consulting Yelp for any alternatives, that is where we went. And it was amazing! Good people, good vibes, good drinks. Sorry to keep using the word “good,” but that’s just how it made me feel DEEP IN MY SOUL.

We ended up just sitting at the bar after we ordered. I didn’t realize at first that there was an outside patio—it was chilly and raining off and on that day, but there was a covered portion that looked cozy so I suggested that we just take our drinks out there once we got them. But then! One of the baristas commented on my Ouija planchette bracelet which inspired a lengthy convo about divination and spirits. I felt like a fraud a little bit for wearing that in the name of fashion when I have really only used an Ouija board maybe…twice? (My friend Evonne had a spirit board though and we used that several times over the years which was always goosebump-inducing.) So, I felt obligated to tell the barista that my mom was into that stuff when she was younger, and how my grandma blamed her Ouija board usage on the fire that legit burned down the house while my grandma was in Florida.

It actually turned out to be an electrical fire caused by a record player that someone left on. No one was hurt and then the house was rebuilt into the 116 Gillcrest that was my refuge and sanctuary growing up (wow, two references to Gillcrest in back-to-back weekend recaps, it must be heavy on my subconscious).

I also told her about how ALLEGEDLY one time my mom was driving at night—this was also during her Ouija days—and said that it felt like something was yanking the steering wheel in the opposite direction and she either DID wreck or she ALMOST wrecked. I can’t remember now how the story went but I know I was scared when she told me, but not too scared that I didn’t actively try to summon Satan for a large swathe of time when I was in high school because I wanted to be taken, LOL I was such a living, breathing After School Special, it wasn’t even funny. (I was trying to think of when this would have been but it could have been anywhere between 10th and 12th grade, honestly, I was such a psychotic case study.)

Then we were talking about being from Pgh and she was telling us about her friend who is something of a famous busker there. “He wears a mushroom hat and raps,” she said, but the only person I could picture was Downtown Jesus and thank god that’s not who she was referring to. Anyway, he’s supposed to be performing at some Draft-related event happening here and then today, he came up in a video in Henry’s feed. “He’s the Guinness secord holder for longest freestyle rap,” Henry said, “50 hours!”

I got a Froot Loops matcha latte and it was delectable and also, we ended up just staying at the bar since it was such a friendly and safe space!

And thank god we stayed because when the other barista came over to get Henry’s payment, there was about 3 seconds of silence while he was struggling to tap his card, and suddenly she goes, “You have really great hair.”

To me!!

She said that TO ME!

You have no idea how annoyed and self-conscious I am about my hair in this shitty stage of life, and for someone to tell me that it’s GREAT?? I almost cried.

“Your tattoos and rings are really cool, too,” she continued. “You’re just cool in general!” she added. And then to Henry, “And you’re cool for being with her!”

I was like, “OK is there a camera somewhere? Is this real? Did my therapist set this up to give me a self-esteem boost so she can have one session with me where I’m not like, “I’m just an NPC. Wah.”

And then I felt tongue-tied because I wanted to return the compliments but everything that ran through my mind seemed like it would be weird to say, like, “I love the shape of your face!” which is what I was thinking before this even happened because she had that perfectly adorable heart-shaped face and a blunt chin-length cut that looked perfect on her. But when I say things nice things to other women, it always ends up coming off as either lowkey sexual harassment or borderline boundary-crossing because something happens to my words on their way down the chute from my brain to my mouth where it’s like, “Wait did I just sound like I was coming on to that person?”

Anyway…

Then Henry was looking at the menu again and asked her what kava is because there was a whole section for it. It turned into a whole thing, like an actual history lesson, and it was so informative and interesting! Basically, it’s a non-alcoholic liquid made from the root of some type of pepper-like plant or something that relaxes the body, and recovering alcoholics will actually drink it because it gives you the same sensation without putting actual alcohol in your body.

Then she gave us a free shot of it to try!

It tasted unlike ANYTHING I had ever tried before. Very…earthy and dirty. Muddy. Not the most pleasant thing but I was able to finish the shot without needing to dramatically spit it out or anything! And after awhile it leaves a slight numbing sensation on the tongue. Super intriguing, and there are actual drinks that they make with it there so maybe next time we visit, I will bit the bullet and try something fancy.

They also have kind of simple syrup made with a plant that I have never heard of and both baristas were trying to explain it to a man seated next to me. They finally settled on it having a slight “date” taste and then they let him try a spoonful of it and he agreed and said it was delicious so now I definitely have to go back and try a drink with that syrup too!

That place was just way too cool. And also very calming. As we were getting up to leave, I called out “goodbye!” down the bar to them, and the heart-face girl was all, “Have fun tonight, guys!” and it felt so nice, like we were regulars there instead of legit strangers passing through from Pittsburgh. I wish more places were like that. I always say that I hate small talk but I DIDN’T USED TO. I used to know someone everywhere I went back in the day, from gas stations, diners, pool halls…now the only people I “know” are the other daily walkers and joggers in Brookline who give me head nods and half-waves every time we pass each other.

What a great start to our short time in Columbus! After this, we walked to a place on High Street for a quick dinner, but I will save that for the next post because the Penguins are losing their second playoff game in a row and I am too stressed and angry to give this blog my full attention UGH.

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