Ah! When I saw that Past Self was going on tour with Clan of Xymox, I legit yelped a little bit! I have been following them for about a year or so on Instagram, since my algorithm gives me all of the Korean stuff, it was thoughtful enough to be like, “Here is a Korean goth band for your consideration.”

It’s not a secret or even a fun fact really, but I did have a pretty extensive Goth phase in my late teens/early 20s thanks to accidentally discovering a Goth chatroom called Darkchat on WEBTV in my mom’s basement, LOL. I was so obsessed with it that I would go to her house constantly to use it until she finally bought me my own WebTV console thingie. (I was living in my first apartment at the time and didn’t have a PC or a laptop yet.)

I made so many friends on that damn website, many with whom I’ll still in touch to this day, and this was also the source of much drama and crazy meet-ups as well. I had already liked the Cure at the time, and even Robert will eschew any attempts at Goth pigeon-holing, but this was when I actually started to learn about GOTH-GOTH music.

And I LIKED it.

However, I never looked or dressed the part, and that’s not an easy scene to be a part of if you’re not skulking around white face powder and black lipstick. I always looked too bubblegum and while I had a lot of Internet Goth friends, I would tend to get sneered at when out and about at Goth functions, like the infamous Dracula’s Ball, LOL. God, they hated me there.

So, I eventually fell out of that scene and, aside from The Cure and peripheral Goth bands like Gary Numan, I haven’t had any recent exposure. But Clan of Xymox is an old band (formed in the early 80s) so I figured the majority of the crowd would be people my age and older and less likely to judge me and my blond hair and Vans.

I was right.

We got in line around 6:30PM and almost immediately, the woman in front of me said, “OK, I’m obsessed with your bracelet” and so I gave her the Etsy shop where it’s from and we started chatting a little bit about how cool the jewelry is (Martha Rotten, you make the best conversation starters!). I was excited because this woman was in a legit Goth gown and her husband even had a Gothic print button-down shirt, so I felt seen. Like, I belonged there too!

There were some younger people in line, like a couple of cyber goths a few people ahead of us. That brought back BIG nostalgia, seeing the coiled extensions in the one girl’s hair and the super high platform boots. If you’ve never seen Goths dance, it can be pretty stompy, so the boots are an essential piece of the wardrobe.

In general, it was one of the most peaceful lines I’ve stood in before a show. Everyone was polite. It was fun to see what everyone was wearing. It was exciting to know every band that was being name-dropped around me because it turns out, the scene hasn’t changed too much since I last paid attention! Lots of Skinny Puppy and Depeche Mode references. It definitely appeared that everyone was there for Clan of Xymox so I was curious how well-received Past Self would be.

Oh, one more thing – the guy in charge of checking IDs of everyone in line was so nice. Great first impression of the Rumba Cafe!

We were finally let in a bit after 7PM and I had to run straight to the bathroom because theater at Ramble House or whatever that bluegrass bar was called had gone right through me plus MY PERIOD WAS IN TOWN. (Henry reminded me last week of how I used to call my period “Maude.” I literally forgot all about that!)

Anyway, while I was in the bathroom, someone started trying to force the door open from the other side and I was in PANIC MODE. That is the worst feeling ever. First of all, bathrooms in small clubs like that usually have the dinkiest lock on the door so I was PRAYING to the Goddess Hela (I don’t know, what goddesses do the Goth girlies pray to these days?) that the lock would not give out and expose me in a full-on tampon insertion pose. I quickly finished up and when I opened the door to leave, an entire crowd had formed outside, JFC. Thank god I was the first one to make it back there, because I was not in any position to stand in another line.

We secured a spot at the corner of the bar and it ended up being mostly fine.

I liked the lady who was sitting next to me on a stool, and her husband was wearing a cool Goth tophat and pointed out my bracelet to her. I’m telling you, that fucking bracelet stole the show that day.

In case you were wondering what it looks like, there are pictures in this post:

Bangles & bengals & Bingle Bangle

I’ll try to keep this short and sweet, but Past Self came out and was exactly what I wanted. Dark synth is a motherfucking drug to me, I was IN A ZONE instantly. Their stage presence was haunting without being try-hard. The singer’s voice had that signature deep tone that I came to know and love during my Goth years.

They’re from Las Vegas and the singer is Korean American, so the lyrics are a blend of Korean and English. I was so stoked when I caught Korean words here and there that I knew!

Props to Henry for getting pictures for me since I am too short. (No one was behind us but the bar so he was able to freely hold his arms up, knowing that he wasn’t being THAT PERSON who was blocking the view of everyone behind him.)

Here’s one of their videos, please watch and enjoy. (DO IT. The song means “rusty knife” and I will cut you with one if you don’t watch!!!!)

(J/K.)

After their set, we moved to the back of the venue so I could get merch. I like Clan of Xymox but didn’t feel the need to be super close for them, so this seemed like a good spot. And it happened to be where my friends from the line were!

Clan of Xymox came out with a bang, ISTG. The whole room just exploded with energy and I was caught up in it immediately. Henry, not so much. He ended up ditching me and going to stand by himself near the door after awhile and I didn’t even notice at first, LOL Everything was fine until some young guy came out of nowhere and wedged himself in between me and the girl next to me. Turns out she was his friend and he then proceeded to have a full-blown conversation with her the entire time, with very little silence. It was absolutely annoying and rude. She seemed to have been enjoying the show before he arrived, too, so I’m not sure how she felt about Chatty Chad stealing the show, but I know how I felt. I kept glaring at him and he was NOT picking up on it. Had to have been in his early 20s, no couch, 눈치 없어.

READ THE FUCKING ROOM! Why why why do people go to concerts to talk?! Go to, I don’t know, fucking Denny’s! Get a fucking coffee and Grand Slam and talk until your lips chap. DO NOT DO THIS AT A CONCERT. It got to the point where my ears refused to hook onto anything but this guy’s whiny voice.

I had planned on only staying for part of Clan of Xymox’s set anyway since we had to drive 3+ hours home, and it was 10:30PM at that point so I figured that was my cue to call it. I wasn’t trying to get into verbal fisticuffs and ruin a perfectly good day. Because it really was a perfectly good day, all around.

This wasn’t from the Columbus show but I wanted to share it anyway because this is also how our Columbus show started and I was obsessed with laser gloves!!!!

And then this one was from our show:

On the drive home, I made Henry briefly listen to the Black Bible goth compilation (I have the physical copy as well and it’s out on display in the Cure corner of the living room – a nice conversation piece lol) until he was like, “OK I’ve had enough of this now, thanks.” It can get very funeral dirge-y, as you can imagine.

And then we arrived home a little after 2AM. It was exhausting but SO MUCH FUN. I’m glad that Henry still agrees to do these things with me. We definitely have some interesting adventures!

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