Sigh. On Sunday, Henry and I took Glenn and his wife Amanda out for dinner and celebratory drinks because guess what, you guys? Glenn has retired after 18 years at The Law Firm (16 of those years being harassed mercilessly by me!).

Working from home makes everything so anticlimactic. There was no official send-off or gathering of any type planned so I was like, “Fuck it, I will go rogue.”

Glenn suggested two of his favorite places to go to and I said, “OK just let me know which” and he goes, get this, “Why not both?” OK Glenn! Bar-hopping on a Sunday, don’t mind if I do?!

First, we met at Glenn’s house (“come to my house first and I’ll show you my wheelchair collection,” he said, and I almost fell for that because I am so gullible) and Henry got to meet (dog) Henry!

And we got to meet all of their chickens! They have so many! And they all have names which I love.

Anyway! First we went to Shenanigans for pre-dinner drinks. And let’s be very clear here – I had one beer at each place, so – two beers + food. I don’t know how people can drink more than that!! We had the most delightful server at Shenanigans. I loved it there a lot and not because there is also a bar on DAYS OF OUR LIVES called Shenanigans. (Is it still there? I haven’t watched DAYS in so long that I feel like Stefano could have set fire to it without my knowledge.)

Then we went to Hal’s for dinner and had a not great server.

But I got to meet one of Glenn’s adult sons!!!! He is a cook at Hal’s and came out to see us and when they introduced him to me, he said, “Yes, I’ve heard a lot about you.” LOLOLOL. Notorious in all the wrong ways!

We went back to their house afterward and hung out for hours on their front porch, talking and telling old work stories to Henry and Amanda who I’m sure were like, “Zzzzzzzz.” I did crack up at one point when Glenn mentioned having a bonding moment with one of the most disliked partners in the Firm (at least from our department’s perspective) and Henry goes, “WOW” because he has heard this name so many times over the years. Henry has always been an honorary Law Firm member.

Monday was Glenn’s official last day. Before he logged off he sent a department-wide email with a Looney Toons “That’s All Folks” gif and I WON’T LIE, I TEARED UP.

I’ve had since June to prepare for this, when he emailed me the morning that he was planning on telling Amber of his retirement plans. I remember that I was out on my early morning walk when I saw the email come through on my phone and I actually stopped walking to read it — that’s how you know it was serious. I rarely stop walking!

I was immediately sad, but then my second emotion was, “HAHAHA FIRST!!!” because I love being the first to know things!

I think anyone who has read my blog even semi-casually over the last 16 years knows Glenn. Our performative feuding and pranking was legendary.

Here are some of my favorite Glenn moments:

GLENN BEING THE REASON WE HAVE TRUDY!!

Schaufensterpuppen Saturday

GLENN AND TERRY’S BEEF!!!

(This is a multi-parter so you have to also click the hyperlink at the beginning of this post!!!

Work-Bro Lunch Date. You’re Welcome.

THIS IS BASICALLY WHAT STARTED IT ALL:

Wacky Worm in the Law Firm

GRAVEROBBER GLENN!!

Halloween Work Desk Decoration Memories

RANDOM WORK LIVEBLOG WITH GLENN MENTIONS!

Rainy Monday Liveblog

MORE GLENN RUMORS: SATANISTS AND LESBIANS!!!

Work Haps: One Week in March

The Week of Barb, Day 1

COLLECT ALL THE GLENNS! – Last but not least, here is the entire blog category full of all the dead celebrity memorializing I would do using Glenn’s employee ID picture.

Those were the days, you guys. Fuck Covid forever because nothing has or will ever be the same again. Wishing Glenn (GRUDGINGLY) all of the best in his next chapter, though. Ugh. Sucks for the rest of us!

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