Hello. You are now visiting “Second Half” of Riot Fest, Day 1. If you passed by “First Half,” please circle back to the last exit.

Sorry, that was just me trying to be “engaging.”

One of my absolute NON-NEGOTIABLES of this year’s line-up was Tricky. I HAD to see Tricky. It’s been years now but I was quite entrenched in trip hop for a good chunk of time. Did you know that Tricky was one of the pioneers of trip hop?! A legend.

Marta Złakowska is a current touring member, and there was also a man (they took turns singing on songs and it was really enthralling to watch because whoever wasn’t singing would stand facing Tricky and the other singer. Marta was wearing all black and the other guy (I have to search for his name but he reminded me of Leo Woodall) was wearing a loose tuxedo-like outfit without the jacket.

I literally cannot find the name of the other singer. Tricky’s website only mentions Marta, wtf.

Anyway, I don’t know how his live shows used to be but he barely sang at all – he almost whispered along with whichever one was singing at the time and I saw on Reddit that all of his shows on this tour have been that way and some people hate it but some people are like, “What’s the problem?” The music was INTENSE. Imagine being able to create an intimate sex-club kind of vibe when it’s still daylight and you’re playing outside at a giant music festival. Aside from the BIGMOUTH OLD WOMEN BEHIND ME who thought it was OK to stand THAT close to the stage and yap like it was a fucking coffee klatch, I thought this was exceptional and felt like I was really witnessing something legendary from a very specific musical timeline that I may never get to see again.

Henry’s review: “I don’t know. It was not my style.”

BRO WHAT STYLE.

Bayside was playing on the second main stage and I was so happy that we were able to catch most of their set after Tricky because it has been a MINUTE since I’ve seen them. I definitely fell off there for a while but there was a time when it felt like I was seeing Bayside at least once a year, including Anthony Ranieri’s solo run. I didn’t forget about how much I love them though and the way I felt like the softest blanket was wrapped around me during their set…you just don’t “grow out” of certain things.

Henry’s review: “Um. They’re not bad.” I thought there was going to be a “but” but he just drifted off.

Around this time, we decided to break for much-needed food. It would have been around 4PM and we had eaten since that morning at the Mexican cafe. As expected, every damn food line was crazy long EXCEPT for Ralphie’s Donuts, lol. I looked at Henry like, “I could eat a donut…”

Smoke Daddy pictured just for their themed food—I love a creatively relevant food name! However, upon at-home scrutiny, I’m kicking myself for not getting the Disco Tots.

I’m so far up the ass of my journaling era that I decided Henry and I would share the bucket of horchata latte donut holes simply because I wanted to put the cut bucket sticker in my dumb journal—and I HAVEN’T EVEN HAD THE CHANCE (read: energy/motivation) TO DO THAT YET! Anyway, the donuts were good though.

This was the first time sitting all day. Dumb Motion City Soundtrack was playing on the stage closest to us so that was annoying. I don’t like HATE-HATE them, but I also don’t enjoy them and I associate them with my ex-bff’s psycho sister who actually got in a fight with someone in line at King’s Island over them while we were also there and it was frightening because she is the type who could hone in on the closest scrap of trash on the ground and somehow work it into a shiv. Also I think one of their songs was her ringtone at the time. Also x2 I was pregnant while this was happening and didn’t know it and also have an aversion to a very specific type of Mexican soft cheese* that we bought at Jungle Jim’s because I was on a cheese and mustard/condiment kick (see also: IT WAS PREGNANCY CRAVINGS BUT I DIDN’T KNOW IT) which also happened on the same weekend. Aversions all around.

*(I just googled for accuracy since I am your favorite investigative reporter and nothing sounds familiar except for cotija but that apparently is crumbly…maybe me and all of my alter egos are Mandela’ing.)

Not pictured, but after the donuts I knew I was going to get sick if we didn’t get real food too and this was literally the only chance we had before resuming our stage dashing. First we were in line for this place called Uncle Remus’s or something because they had “plant-based” wings, yay. But as we got closer, I saw that there was VERY fine print underneath it that said it was cooked in beef something, and “not vegan.” HONEY THAT’S NOT EVEN VEGETARIAN AT THAT POINT.

I’m not vegan but I do have a line that I won’t cross and plant-based items being cook in animal juice or whatever is definitely that line. We moved down to some other place that had veggie empanadas and yuca fries. It wasn’t anything to write home about (which is clearly why I don’t have a picture and you know me and food fotos!) but it got the job done. I guess. We carried it over to another stage and started to eat under a tree but then Slick Rick was coming on so I left Henry, lol.

SLICK RICK!! Teenage Erin was poppin’ off.

My favorite is Lodi Dodi (obv) but there isn’t a music video for that one.

Henry’s review: “Yeah.”

Me: “Yeah what?”

Henry: “I guess for his age it was good.”

OK.

What?

After this, Henry was like, “You might like Deathbyromy” because for some reason he thought she was affiliated somehow with Tara Yummy, who I do love, but I googled and cannot find any connection. Either way, I’m glad he was mistaken because it got me over to the Radical Stage for her band and it was SO GOOD. Just the perfect amount of neo-gothic sleaze (I made that up) for a Friday evening.

Henry’s review: “Didn’t hate it.”

I wish you would have seen the strange body contortions and thinking faces he pulled for a full 10 seconds just to say he didn’t hate it.

Basically everything we saw on that stage all weekend was fire.

Five Riot Fests later and we still have never ridden any of the rides there. Some might think it’s because we’re smart, but really it’s because Henry is cheap and I have no time.

I caught a little bit of All-American Rejects while Henry was procuring our stuff from that artist we met earlier in the morning.

I was enamored by this balloon maybe because YELLOW BALLOON IS  MY FAVORITE SONG FROM THE SEMINAL ELEMENTARY SCHOOL MUSIC CLASS RECORD BY THE ILLUSTRIOUS LOLLIWINKS.

(This is a blatant lie, my favorite Lolliwinks song is HANDS UP. Is it a coincidence that BIGBANG also has a song called HANDS UP, or fate??)

While I was standing here alone, some elder-punk came BARRELLING AT ME and screamed something then ran away so fast I had whiplash. I turned around in delayed alarm and he had actually stopped running and was standing there looking at me in this weird “are you coming??” stance. I gave him my best, “huh?” face so he actually came back over and said, “The Sex Pistols are playing over there! The punk band, The Sex Pistols!”

“Oh! Yeah, I’ll be over in a little bit,” I said.

(I mean, that’s kind of true because we did have to walk past that stage to get to the Radical stage for Foxy Shazam, lol.)

hnnngggggghh.

You know I sent this  to Chooch whose response was, “ew don’t send me that.”

Seriously though AAR is just a really comforting, nostalgic band. I remember when Chooch was super little, he used to sing “Gives You Hell” in the car and it was so precious. So yeah, I did not mind standing here while Henry pissed around.

Henry’s review: “Did we see them?”

I mean, I did….

Bro, I used to LOVE Foxy Shazam back in the day! I can remember making mixed CDs for LiveJournal friends and slipping a Foxy jam on there from time to time but I honestly can’t remember if I’ve ever seen them!? They were at Warped Tour once but I don’t think we saw them. Nevertheless, I made sure we saw them at Riot Fest and it WAS SO GOOD. (I think Frankie Witch Fingers was right before this and we caught the tail end of that too.)

I vividly remember saying, “OK we can sit down for this one, I don’t care that much” but then as soon as they came on stage, I popped right up to my feet like a blow-up punching ball in the shape of Fred Flintstone.

Henry’s review: “Yeah I liked them.” And the way he said it WITH NO HESITATION and a slight uptick to his tone makes me know that this is true.

Oh man, there is something so romantic about Riot Fest once the sun goes down…

Moon over the Pixies.

OMG we almost got lost into the Riot Fest void forever right before this because I was like, “Let’s give us this perfectly good spot we have right now and move over to the other side of the stage” I can’t even remember why now?! BUT WE ALMOST PERISHED I SWEAR TO GOD because it was pitch black and we were trying to sidestep people sitting/laying more toward the back and it was just so panic-inducing.

I take back what I said about Riot Fest being romantic at night because it’s actually Hell for people with even the tiniest of speck of anxiety in their system. I think Henry sincerely wanted to kill me, because all that happened was that we ended up going BACK to where we were only it took like 15 minutes and the Pixies were already playing by then.

Henry’s review: “Um I don’t know I’m not a fan of the Pixies, so…..I saw them.”

He answers everything like I have a gun to his head.

Maybe I have a gun to his head.

I feel like everyone knows the Pixies, and we have seen them before, so I will not continue to junk this post up with more videos.

The main stage headliner for Friday night was Twenty One Pilots. I know nothing about them aside from the songs they have on the radio which never really snagged my attention one way or the other. Chooch really liked them back when they were AltPress darlings, I remember that much, because we bought him their first album on vinyl for Christmas that year. Also, I know that one of them is married to Deby Ryan and they live in Columbus or something.

Cool story, Erin.

Henry’s review: “I didn’t pay attention enough to care.”

Oh wait, I have something to add: I recognized two songs I think and also I was scared when the one guy climbed up a scaffolding thingie to a drum set on some platform thing and I was clutching my chest like he was my son. I think I included a clip of that in my Instagram Reel which is POSTED AT THE END SO PLEASE WATCH IT.

Iggy Pop – we did not stay to watch, we were on our way out. GWAR was playing on the Radical stage but I have seen them enough to last a lifetime (once, lol). No hate on them! I love that they beheaded Trump or whatever, but musically it’s not MY CUP OF TEA, as Old Timey Henry would say.

Then we left and finally checked into our hotel (Chicago Loop Hotel) and the front desk people were a little too chill and seemed like maybe they didn’t know the criteria for hospitality services, and also they purposely had the elevators turned off and didn’t tell anyone – no sign or anything – so when Henry went to get our stuff out of the car I took the steps up to the fifth floor and accidentally found the service elevator so that’s what we used all weekend, lol. It was so weird. The whole fucking hotel was so weird. BUT IT WAS CLEAN AND QUIET and that is ALL I care about.

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