You guys will never believe this but while we were on the way to the brewery last Saturday, we drove past the Butler Institute of American Art and I caught a sign that said FREE ADMISSION. So, while we were at lunch, I suggested that we stop there before driving home since we had been drinking, so that we could sober up, etc.

(This makes it sound like we were blitzed but we really weren’t. It’s just that it was over an hour drive home and who wants to be in the car that long after eating and drinking?)

Meanwhile, Mrs. It’s Not That We Were Drunk said, “Take a picture of me with this bitch” and then as I was backing up to get closer, I didn’t notice that there was a small step, so I tripped BACKWARD and landed right on my butt in front of “this bitch.”

The perfect display of “I meant to that do.”

Henry hardly EVER laughs at anything I do or say but this got a BIG BELLY LAUGH from the old man.

I used to smoke those 

Dude don’t worry. We truly weren’t THOSE PEOPLE inside the museum. I promise. We were quiet, normal, and respectful. Henry even asked one of the docents a question. OK, it was just “Where is the restroom?” but then later he asked another one a real question about whether or not the paintings in the section we were in had been restored at all. The docent was like, “Well….some of them have, yeah. Like this one for example—-” and then pointed to the one we were standing near and we were like, “OK cool good to know” but then he continued standing there, staring at it dreamily long after we turned a corner. It was kind of creepy but also made me think to myself: “Aw.”

Anyway, it was crazy actually looking at art with Henry???!!! We never do stuff like this together! He hates the Mattress Factory, for example, although that is a totally different beast, to be fair.

They should put this outside in front of that bitch.

OMG obviously I loved this wing of the museum the most.

Figuring out how to install this in our living room.

Speaking of Mattress Factory, though, Yayoi Kusama has a permanent exhibit there (the infamous mannequin room!).

There were hardly any other art-peepers there that afternoon, so we really enjoyed the quiet and time we got to spend in each wing.

There’s one of these in the Mattress Factory too and I do not get it.

I loved this part of the museum because we had to walk across a pedestrian bridge to A CHURCH. I guess the actual church part is still used for you know, church things, but there were more exhibits upstairs. This room was a loft that overlooked the church below and I was obsessed!

Yes!!

I was so excited to see this! I have something similar-ish from my Pappap’s house!!!

We were in a race against the clock toward the end there though as an announcement came on warning patrons that the joint was closing in 30 minutes.

“We can come back again, you know,” Henry huffed as I raced past him to see what was in a basement corridor (CLOWN SHIT!!! I ALMOST MISSED IT!). But in the end, we managed to make it through every part of the place and you know what? It was so much fun and Henry actually agreed. AND IT COST NOTHING! What a great way to spend an afternoon. We didn’t even argue!!?

Afterward, we stopped at nearby Pressed Coffee Bar for some after-art caffeine and sugar.

I got a strawberry white chocolate latte and it was alright. The sugar cookie we split was VERY HARD but still good. It was a sugar, after all, and sometimes any sugar is better than no sugar.

We rounded off our random Saturday Day Date with a stroll through some Youngstown cemetery that made me feel uncomfortable but it was fine.

It’s been decided that we will now try to do something like once a month or so. We’ll see how long that lasts, lol.

Every time I think I’m doing ok, the universe is quick to slap me with the reminder that NOPE. Still depressed. Still panicked. Still stressed. Still middle life crisis’ing.

This is our first holiday without Chooch at home. We did spend the day with him in Philly yesterday so it wasn’t all bad but I woke up today and just felt weird. Weird to not have a kid at home. Weird to not be doing anything for Easter. Weird to even just be HOME because in the past, this was typically spring break and we’d go away on a family trip so to even just be home on Easter with or without Chooch is disorienting. I definitely cried a few times today.

Not to mention, last year we were in Korea on Easter. </3 I know it’s ridiculous to think like this but I can’t help feeling as though my life has peaked and it’s all downhill from here.

/enter panic

Well, I guess there were some highlights from today (and it’s only late afternoon so maybe Henry will suddenly surprise me with an Easter basket, LOL YEAH RIGHT):

We got vegan donuts and a chicken sandwich (Henry) and fish sandwich (me) from Viridis which I would have to say is the best bet lately for vegan sandwiches in Pgh, and their donuts are excellent. We split the Taki Blue Heat and Chikn and Waffles:

Ugh, they were both delightful. The Takis one was weird in a good way, and I have to say, I love how chewy the actual donuts are.

And ugh, I am a SUCKER for vegan fish sandwiches. Viridis’ version is made with oyster mushrooms rather than tofu and along with the fried batter, it’s so good that I have to force myself to set it back down on the plate between bites so that I don’t eat it too quickly and make myself sick. Hopefully one day they will have a sit-down restaurant, but for now, we’re fine with take-out (well, what do I care – Henry is the one who has to drive downtown and pick it up hahaha).

Another highlight from today is that we have squirrel babies now that are out of the nest and out & about in the backyard. One of them took a peanut from me today <3 Additionally, we learned that female squirrels will often build their nest in places where they previously nested, as in, where they were born. And this mom squirrel made her nest next door in HNC’s porch roof where is where OG GIRL BUDDY (RIP) made her nests, so we THINK this could be Girl Buddy’s daughter, and these are her grandbabies. And now I’m crying again, lol. Before the babies came out of the porch roof nest, they would poke their little heads out and watch their mom sit on my porch and eat walnuts so I would hope they recognize me as their ally!

A lowlight from today was after lunch, Henry said he would play tennis with me. We drove all the way to my “home court” which is about minutes away, got there and I was happy before only 2 of the 4 courts were being used and both of the back courts were open (my faves) BUT THEN REALIZED HENY BROUGHT MY OLD RACKET INSTEAD OF MY GOOD ONE?!?! He was like, “Oh. Can’t you just use the old one?”

NO! AND HERE’S WHY: That racket was a basic starter racket from Dick’s that cost about $20, and I only bought it when I wasn’t sure if playing tennis again was in my cards, but then it turned out my obsession was reignited and I promptly bought a really good racket for $$$ and babe, there is no going back from that. Henry suggested that we “just go back home” and get it but you have no idea how much I cannot the stand the drive to these courts. So I snarled, “NO, ONCE WE GET BACK HOME, I’M STAYING THERE, THANKS FOR RUINING MY LIFE.” And then we came back home and he still tried to get my good racket so we could go back and I was like, “I SAID NO!” and then I grabbed my headphones and went for a walk around the neighborhood alone.

What a great day.

Just a friendly reminder that I was eating salt bread & drinking coffee in a cafe that was visited by Mino from Winner last Easter, UGH:

Bye.

Seeing Cold last week has set me adrift on a path of nostalgia. Granted, that path is laden with cigarette butts, scraps of stepped-on and worn-off denim from the bottoms of too-long jeans, and Mike’s Hard Lemonade bottle caps. So, tread carefully, etc.

This particular show marked the first time in 15 years that I had seen them. They were here a few times since then but it was a combination of having moved away from this scene and also not wanting to willingly put myself in an emotionally vulnerable spot, because there is something about this band that breaks me slowly. Scooter Ward is just….ugh. His voice and lyrics were the soundtrack to some of the most volatile years of my life (hey, early 20s, I see you).

But when I saw that they would be performing 13 Ways To Bleed on Stage in its entirety (as well as A Different Kind of Pain), I was like, “OK, let’s go. I can do this.” And then the day of,  that changed to “I can’t do this, I can’t do this.” LOL. Obviously, I did it. Albeit with a face slick with tears.

Instead of saying the same stuff I always say (“Ow, my heart” “Ooof” “This song, ugh”), I thought I would instead share some pictures I found in an old album from the time I saw them at Nick’s Fat City, 9/5/11. Less than a week before 9/11, so hard to even imagine that now.

My friend Wonka – he was my best concert buddy and co-Cold groupie back then – arrived at Nick’s Fat City super early. This was back when we were young and had the stamina required for arriving hours before doors in the hopes of catching a glimpse of the band. That’s Wonka in the middle, the rest were guys we befriended. I remember clearly going across the street at one point to get beverages at a store and freaking out over a…energy drink? called BALLZ. I’m pretty sure we all bought one.

The guy on the far right was on the street team for one of the opening bands, I believe. And the kid on the left, I’m pretty sure his name is Josh, ended up staying in touch with Wonka and me for a hot minute and I even gave him my ticket for Jane’s Addiction shortly after this because I ended up not being to go, so Wonka took him in place, lol. It’s so weird how this is a memory that my brain decided to keep.

Here I am flanked by Kelly and Scooter from Cold! This picture is so bad and I am thankful that whoever took it, took it with the sun behind us because I was such a hot mess back then. Thankful that you can barely see my face here.

Jeremy!

I TOTALLY forgot that my brother Ryan was also there with his friends! That’s Ryan standing down there in the green sweatshirt next to our new friend Josh. Ryan actually commented on this Instagram reel I posted after last week’s show saying that he contemplated on going!

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Ugh, Scooter. I believe this was the second time I saw them after first stumbling upon their stage at X-Fest earlier that summer. Wonka was with me there too and we were both ENRAPTURED. Like, WHO IS THIS? Stopped us dead in our tracks. Actually, now as I’m writing this I’m not sure if that is accurate – it could have been we already knew the song “Just Got Wicked” and intentionally checked them out based on that? I’m sure I have the hard facts written down in a journal somewhere for some Future Person to discover years after I expire.

Anyway, there are actually so many more pictures from other Cold shows that I found too, like I was their traveling historian or something, Jesus.

I know I said I wasn’t to recap this most show BUT there are some things I want to remember:

• Scooter is the only OG member which makes me sad
• BUT they have an amazing bassist – Lindsay Manfredi. I guess she joined four years after the last time I saw them, so she’s been with them now for about 10 years. Just “new-to-me”! I loved that she came out in this adorable back dress with a white peter pan collar for the first set, and then when they came back out to dive into the 13 Ways…set, she was wearing a black mechanic’s pantsuit with the Cold spider patches on the arms. She was so cool!
• AND their drummer used to be in this band called Lifer who COINCIDENTALLY was touring with them when we went to that 9/2001 show (Wonka and I also went to the Hershey, PA stop on that tour).l I had become obsessed with Lifer but then they broke up after one/some of them left to start BREAKING BENJAMIN. LOL remember that band??
• There was some middle aged broad and her husband standing in front of me and they were HAMMERED before the show even started. I am so sorry that I missed this, but when I was in the bathroom, Henry said she had gone up to the bar to get another drink (she was knocking back mixed drinks) and on her way back, she somehow FELL INTO THE VIP BOOTH?! Henry said she knocked everything off the table (luckily  nothing got on the people sitting there), landed UNDER THE TABLE, stood up and said OH SHIT and then shambled back to the bar to get a new drink. Then a few minutes after that, she was back in front of me telling some other middle aged lady who reminded me of my squirrel hating neighbor that she had just gotten out of the hospital that Friday afternoon. Drink up, baby. Cheers.
• Cold had the misfortune of touring with Weezer one year. It was just…bad. The Weezer fans were really shitty to  them and I want to say that they ended up dropping off the tour. But in  the meantime, they had befriended Rivers Cuomo and did a song with them called Stupid Girl and it remains my least favorite Cold song to this day. Anyway, it’s off the third album which was not being performed that night, yet some dodo in the front row kept screaming it like it was fucking Freebird. Scooter, who paused in between certain songs to tell stories about the song’s origins, kept having to pause to say, “No, we’re not going to play Stupid Girl, stop asking.” Then at one point, after maybe the 7th time, he stopped and was like, “Look, we’re not playing that fucking song OK?” and we were all cracking up. Scooter goes, “I gotta shut this shit down, this is starting to feel like a fucking folk show.” It felt so good to have that comic relief during a night of so many heavy songs though!
• The crying gave me a headache, but it was a perfect night.

A big reason why I wasn’t too torn up over that Easter Lane thing being lame is that we had planned a little mini daytrip around it by scoping out some places in nearby Youngstown, Ohio for lunch. We settled on this brewery called Noble Creature because “Viking” was thrown around in descriptions of the vibe and that seemed like something for me. I was really HUNGY (r removed purposely, OK, I learned this from Chooch) by the time we got there but luckily not to HANGRY proportions yet.

I really liked the atmosphere of this joint, even from just the outside!

BIG YES to that welcome disclaimer.

Right off the bat, I felt good here. The bartender was super down to earth and helpful. I’m not trying to act like someone who is knowledgeable about beer and have no qualms being an open n00b about it, and he was patient and happy to answer my questions. (“IS ANYTHING HERE COMPARABLE TO A BELGIAN?” is usually my only inquiry, lol. Sadly, not really but he did steer me toward an ESB called Basement Darts and complimented me on my OLD WORLD tastes hahahaha.

I had no idea what an ESB was (Extra Special Bitter allegedly??) and it was OK. English. I was able to finish my little glass of it but would probably never get it again.

Henry got two tasters of the only IPAs they had and I was pissed because I don’t like ordering the same thing as him, so to finish my flight, I chose a sour called Jelly because I used to like sours way back when I didn’t like beer and I haven’t really been drinking those anymore. I also got a Flemish Red which I thought was going to be like an Irish Red. Nope, not even close. Hated this one so much. So sour, like way sour-er than the actual sour. I never want to even think about this one again.

Lastly, I got my first Gose after mths of asking Henry, “What is a Gose? Do you think I’d like it?” Turns out, nope, no I do not like Gose. Not even when it has a cool name like Mother Shover.

Full disclosure, I have to admit that the only reason I wanted to like it is because Seventeen, one of my favorite Kpop groups AS YOU MIGHT KNOW, have a show called Going Seventeen but it’s shortened to GoSe so I associate that beer with it. Bummed that is not for me.

(Reading about Mother Shover on Untapped now – because why would I do this before ordering – and apparently it has table salt in it too??)

Henry’s IPAs were both really good :(

Basement Darts. Since it was English, it made me think of the band Basement. I used to really like that band!

A really good mushroom and black bean burger! With asparagus! That burger was really good. The portions were on the small side so I was still hungry when we left but it was for the best because usually I get so full that I become sick when I eat out these days.

So-so sour. No, it was fine. I could never drink a full pour of this but let’s be real, there aren’t many beers I could drink a full pour of!

Mother Shover.

Before leaving, we decided to split one of the seltzers, called CASUAL CORSAGE. We were eyeing it up because it was billed as “a purple seltzer with juniper, lemon, elderberry, butterfly pea flower, and honey simple syrup.

ALL THINGS I LOVE.

And before you ask, yes, even butterfly pea flower – I love it when cafes have butterfly pea matcha.

Oh, damn, did I strike out across the board here! It just tasted like sour nothingness! I thought it would be crisp and sparkling?? Semi-sweet?! It was not any of these things. I truly can’t describe it but it did not inspire me to go wading barefoot in a bubbling brook, which is what ALL OF THOSE INGREDIENTS FEEL LIKE THEY WERE MADE TO ACCOMPANY?!

It was a struggle for us to finish this, especially since Henry had to chug the last dregs of my FLEMISH RED, brotha ew is all I can say to that one. It felt like a sinister, ancient and sacred religious ceremony in a candle lit cellar playing out on my tongue. Just…old and scary and like some possessed monk’s liquified sour breath rolling around in my mouth, daring me to swallow it while my gag reflexes where in overdrive.

I know, it sounds like this was a terrible time but I really enjoyed our visit! I chalked it up to a learning experience because I still am figuring out what I like and don’t like, but also it was just really nice to be in a different “city” on a day-date thing while texting Chooch annoying pictures of ourselves.

DON’T WORRY THOUGH BECAUSE OUR DATE DIDN’T END THERE.

March was a bit better in terms of refreshing books that made me feel stoked to wake up the next day and dive back in. I love that feeling!

1. I Might Be in Trouble by Daniel Aleman

This was pretty funny – a struggling writer gets himself in a pickle and with the help of his hilariously sassy agent, this turns into some bizarre Weekend at Bernie’s type of scramble. I had fun reading this one and would be interested in reading more from this guy!

2. The Wedding People by Alison Espach

I did not enjoy another book I had recently read by this author but several of my friends had raved about her newest one; I succumbed to peer pressure as one does. And thank god because this was FANTASTIC. I went into it knowing NOTHING about the synopsis and I think that is best so I will let you click the Goodreads link up there if you really want to know. But the reason I gave this a 4.5 is simple: THE CHARACTERS POPPED OFF THE PAGE. I wanted so badly to be there with them. Quirky, heartwarming without being corny, a REALISTIC ENDING. I loved every page of this book and I think it will be sticking with me for quite some time. Definitely recommend!

3. Famous Last Words by Gillian McAllister

I gave this thriller a 3 but only because her other books were better, IMO. The author describes it as “a love story set in a hostage situation.” OK, sure. It was definitely a unique plot but I couldn’t connect. Basically, this broad wakes up and her husband is gone and then she finds out he has a bunch of people held hostage in a warehouse and then escapes the police. I did enjoy it, you just really have to suspend disbelief.

4. The Author’s Guide to Murder by Beatriz Williams

Corny. Next.

5. Butter by Asako Yuzuki

Usually, Japanese novels about murder really do it for me, but this one made me feel like I was reading something for a Feminism elective in community college. I could barely get through it, even after switching to audio. The blurb is “The cult Japanese bestseller about a female gourmet cook and serial killer and the journalist intent on cracking her case, inspired by a true story.” Sounds intriguing!! Sadly, not for me, fam.

6. Deep Cuts by Holly Brickley

If you love music like I love music, especially in the snobby sense, then you will love this. I lowkey didn’t like the protagonist, Percy, but it somehow didn’t deter from the actual reading experience for me.

7. Guillotine by Delilah S. Dawson

I needed an audiobook for my daily walks and this one caught my eye on Hoopla. It was fast-paced and a fun read. The Goodreads blurb says “The Menu meets Ready of Not” and I fully endorse this summary.

8. The English Teacher by Lily King

My third (?) Lily King novel. I REALLY like her writing. Her characters always feel like real people to me, too, going through actual hardships. The protagonist here is not very likable on purpose but you understand why she is the way she is because King has written her character so exquisitely. I really can’t say enough good things about Lily King.

9. The Favorites by Layne Fargo

The fact that I couldn’t even remember what this was right away….lol. I thought it was fine, it kept my attention even though I’m not necessarily a figure skate aficionado. It did kind of feel like a dollar store version of a Taylor Jenkins Reid book though in that it’s written in both story-form and through interviews / news reports. I would say pick up Carrie Soto Is Back by Reid instead if you’re into dramatic female-fronted sports comeback stories. This one kind of fell flat for me – for a while there I was certain that there was some underlying murder that was going to rear its head and flip the narrative but nope. It didn’t really feel like there was much of a pay-off here.

10. I Want to Die But I Want to Eat Tteokbokki by Baek Se-hee

Hashtag relatable. This wasn’t an entertaining book by any means, it was very clinical and dry, but holy shit I felt like it was written about me. Also, same bestie – tteokbokki gives me the will to keep on keepin’ on, too.

11. Beautiful Ugly by Alice Feeney

Two fuckin’ stars. Alice Feeney, you failed me again. I swear, she gave me one solid 5-star with Daisy Darker and everything else has been swill in a barrel.

This was so stupid, unreal, preposterous, no tension. The best part was the dog!!!

12. The Haar by David Sodergren

Yes. YES! A solid, sick, gory, horror story but also one that was full of love and life. Sentimental horror. I had this on audio and was almost done with it when we took Chooch back to Philly after spring break and I just couldn’t wait any longer so I asked Henry if he minded if I put it on in the car (I didn’t have my headphones) – lol like it really mattered to me if he minded or not. Anyway, he was like, “WHAT is this??” after quietly listening about a sea blob thing devouring shitty men in very explicit detail. But this just felt like a love story to me more than anything and I was so there for it.

13. This Book Will Bury Me by Ashley Winstead

Winstead’s debut novel was such a solid 5 for me and then everything after was shit (IMO, anyway). But this one finally brought me back on board. College student becomes obsessed with a true crime message board after the death (natural causes, not murder) of her father. I gave this 4 stars for the entertainment value – it was a page-turner – but it still had a lot of faults like being obviously based on the recent U.of Idaho murders. I did enjoy the found family aspect, but unless I’m missing something, I didn’t really care much for the parts that circled back to her dead dad.

Actually, now that I’m revisiting this from a distance, I’m realizing that there were many flaws but this was STILL better than her other post-In My Dreams I Hold a Knife novels. I think I would still recommend it. I’m tired, lol.

And that’s it for March! I’m so great at talking about books! Invite me to your book club! :/

Last Tuesday evening, Henry and I went to Crafthouse to see one of my old favorite bands, Cold. I was wavering on buying tickets for this because I knew it was going to be an emotional rollercoaster – it had been FIFTEEN YEARS almost exactly since I last saw them. Two mths before I started working at The Law Firm, actually! Sometimes it’s hard to believe that there were pre-Law Firm times in my life.

I finally sucked it up though and bought us tickets and I am so glad that I did. Yeah, it’s a drag to do these things on work nights at this age, but really it was so worth it.

I had to laugh though because as we were standing outside waiting for the doors to open, the people behind us were talking about health insurance. “The conversations happening in line now are wayyyyy different from when we used to go to see Cold back in the day,” I laughed and Henry did too but I don’t know why because he was old back then too??

Once we got inside and settled into a table, I started giggling which always makes Henry scared.

“I just realized that I didn’t change out of my NCT shoes,” I cracked up, raising my legs up and wiggling my feet. Henry groaned.

“AND I HAVE MY G-DRAGON LIGHTSTICK ON MY PURSE!” I pointed out. “And my Seventeen credit card!”

I had to get a picture of the full trifecta and Henry mumbled, “You’re so dumb.”

I am really leaning into the Empty Nester Lifestyle. I mean, not that this isn’t something we would have done with Chooch still in the house, because obviously we were still going to concerts back then too but it just feels…different somehow? Like, fresh? Like almost as though we ARE DATING? I dunno man, it’s weird.

Also, it felt kind of wild being around this certain demographic again. Cold is hard rock (actually they were even considered nu-metal adjacent there for a time) and I haven’t been in this scene in A LONG FUCKING TIME. I mean, this was my pre-Chooch life, really. This predated the Warped Tour and screamo and post-hardcore season of my life.

I have to say, on one hand I felt very comfortable and confident in this environment, it felt natural and familiar, I felt like my old out-going self. And it’s probably the only type of man that still CHECKS ME OUT, lol. I came back from the background and bragged to Henry about that. He just frowned.

But on the other hand, looking around at the majority of these people – especially the women – I am very thankful that I got out of this scene. I was always getting drunk back then off gross things like Smirnoff Ice and chain-smoking Camel Wides. I can only imagine how gross my voice would be today, how old I would look, how FUCKED my health would be in general. Hard Rock Erin was not it.

Literally, though, this one “rode hard & put away wet” woman came falling into the bathroom and Skeletor’d, “DO YINZ KNOW IF I CAN VAPE IN HERE??” Calm down, sis. Also, NO????

I took this to send to Chooch. He lowkey hates that his parents go out together I think, lol.

That guy’s face, though lol.

I just want to say that this was only our second time at Crafthouse and both times we had wonderful servers. I enjoyed my food a lot more this time – I went with the margherita flatbread and it was just right. Also, I Like Beer Now^TM and their selection is pretty good. Henry and I both had two different IPAs and both were good. Specifically, I had an Aslin Clear Nights and an Appalachian Brewing Co. Hop Offering. I don’t remember what Henry had because he refuses to update Untapped.

Good music aside, I just want to say that I really enjoyed this night so much. It was a tough decision to come out, but I’m glad I did and that Dumb Henry was with me. JUST LIKE OLD TIMES when it felt like we were seeing Cold several times a year for a while there. But be prepared for the show recap because it’s going to be so stupid-emo.

Hi while I’m sitting here before bed in a “refreshing red bean pore mask” from Beauty of Joseon, I figured I’d post some pics of Henry and me at Homewood Cem from after lunch. It was such a beautiful day.

Also, I found this sweater in my closet a few weeks ago and was glad it was just chilly enough to get away with wearing it today. Honestly though my closet needs a professional to come in and shape it up.

The other parts of today were just super chill and nice. Read some of my book, watched an episode of Home Economics which started to auto-play after I watched the most recent ep of Abbott Elementary. I had no idea that this was on for three seasons I guess?! Literally never heard of it until Hulu was like “no don’t go.” Two eps in and I don’t know if I like it.

Also, this Canadian/Korean couple I love on YouTube posted a new video where the wife’s brother visited them in Korea for the first time she’s been living there (12 or 14 years I think?!) and I literally started crying really hard like I have any personal connection to this AT ALL and then that feeling carried over during our walk in the Cem so I cried there too and then also cried about Bambi so I’m doing well, lol. No seriously I think I am ok just, when it hits it hits, you know.

After dinner we walked to CVS to get Chooch some stuff for his Easter basket and on the way back, a super intoxicated man was shambling bigly on the other side of the street and I was just about to call 9/11 because he had stepped out really far into the street a few times and I already saw one maybe-dead person in the last 30 days, please let’s not add to it. But then he turned onto a side street that only has like 5 houses so I can only hope one was his.

(“U SHOULD HAVE FOLLOWED HIM AND MADE SURE HE GOT HOME SAFELY” someone is probably judging right now and ok fine I have no excuse other than I’m fucking tired of it.)

Then I made Henry do a Paul Eugene workout with me and we finished the night by watching YouTube videos of people going to NK for the first time in 5 years under the guise of running a marathon and that’s a nope for me. We all know where my allegiance lay.

On that note, I have a recap coming up soon about seeing my once-fave band for the first time in 15 years but my heart isn’t ready for that yet lol. Peace out, weekend warriors. :(

The other day in work group chat, one of my co-workers was telling my friend Wendi about something in her part of the world (she lives in a very small town a good hour or so outside of Pittsburgh) called KRAYNAK and said something about it being something that people in her area liked to do for Easter. For some reason, my brain went STRAIGHT to Krampus so I thought this must be the alternate Easter narrative of Volant, PA, the symbol being a rabid bunny or something? It just sounded ominous.

Now, the only reason she was directing to just Wendi is because Wendi has a baby and she was giving her suggestions of things to do, I guess. That chat topic died out quickly but I was over on Google frantically looking up KRAYNAK.

It’s….just a gardening center in Hermitage, PA.

BUT!! They do this thing called EASTER LANE where they have several Easter-themed displays set up and you can, you know, walk down the “lane” to gawk at it. The pictures of past Easter Lanes looked just tacky & accidentally creepy enough to pique my interest. So I texted Henry and said, “We’re going to Kraynak’s this weekend” and he was like “OK.”

Right away, I will say these two things:

• it was an hour and 18 minutes away by car, which was annoying;
• it was right on a busy road in the middle of Hermitage which kind of subtracted from the ambiance, you know? I was expecting it to be tucked away in some rural knoll, actually, I don’t know what I was expecting, but this just immediately felt too commercial.

I immediately turned around to take a picture of the sign and almost got hit by some eager KRAYNAK shopper trying to park in the spot I was standing next to. Sheesh.

People were looking at me, too, with the unspoken inquiry of “why is this lady taking pictures of the sign?” woven into their frowns. I wanted to cry out, “WE’RE FROM THE BIG CITY, OK?” God, stop looking at me.

This place was pretty packed. But, it’s huge. It’s like a weird, stinky amalgamation of some boring ass hobby shop, plant nursery, and….off brand toy store? OK that’s not fair, they did have some name brand stuff but it was just bizarre shit like toys you’d expect to find in the same shop that sells model train accessories.

And random aisles of not-great candy scattered all around. No rhyme or reason. It was just one section after the next of strange FUCK YEAH AMERIKKKA yard ornaments and mini-travel games for kids. And Cow Tails. And these things were at the ends of every aisle, it felt like:

We did grab some stuff for Chooch’s Easter basket because we’re going to visit him next weekend. Then we got in line to creep down the Easter Lane:

I mean…it wasn’t as Sid&Mary Kroft as I’d have liked, but it was cute.

I liked this one because there were squirrels. Those muppet kids tho….

And then the last several exhibits were patriotic and religious. Of-fucking-course. :/

At the very least, they could have had a ghost Jesus floating here?!

After this, we continued to browse for a bit but I gotta tell you, I started to feel more and more uncomfy here. We were 100% in Trump Territory and I started profiling dads as hunters and moms as homophobes and then someone waked past me and either farted or just generally stank of shit and I cried uncle. I lasted a good 30 minutes there though!

My takeaway:

• this was not worth the drive (luckily, I had planned for this and found some other things for us to afterward in that general area so all was not lost)
• maybe it would be better with a kid?
• waaaaaaay too many shrieking babies and I did at one point ‘accidentally’ say out loud that I wanted to punch one of them
• Easter Lane could be better
• the line for pictures with the Easter Bunny was extremely long and the queue serpentined a few times, but the Easter Bunny himself was mid if you ask me. I am very picky when it comes to photogenic Easter Bunnies

I MIGHT (MIGHT!!!) be convinced to go back in December to check out the CHRISTMAS LANE. Tbd.

Henry and I went to Freeport on Sunday afternoon just for something to do because it was kind of bleak and boring. There is a cafe there called 1883 or something, it’s a number and I don’t feel like looking it up because I’m so blasé about blogging these days. But we went there once last spring and I liked the vibe so I started following them on Instagram and their spring menu just came out. It looked pretty fire so I said let’s go and Henry said only of you’re driving lol j/k.

I got the almond rose torte latte I think and Henry got the chocolate chip cold brew and there was confusion amongst the young baristas because he ordered it with almond milk but it comes with cold foam and that is made with MILK. He was like I DON’T CARE and they seemed confused like he was being a fake ass vegan or something but he only orders almond milk because he likes the taste.

Now that you know Henry’s coffee milk preference…

I bought some local’s debut novel while waiting for our drinks, because there was a little stack on display and a Venmo QR code. His name is HAWK STEVENSON and he wrote and edited the book while chilling in the cafe and I thought that was kind of cool. I haven’t started reading it yet but I will be SURE to let you know, cyber crew.

After this, we strolled around Freeport and it was mid. There is not much to see or do there. Vivian’s Bakery or whatever the fuck had literally closed the second we walked out of the cafe, so that was off the table. I considering knocking on the door to see if they would sell us the remaining scraps of the day but Henry was like I DON’T THINK SO.

Sounds like the assurance of someone who has tried this before.

We walked to some gazebo and looked at the ugly river. That was boring. Then I wanted a sugar and pouted so Henry went back to the cafe to procure a sugar while I waited at the car because the vibe there was off today. He came out with two cookies and a banana nut muffin for us to share, and said that while he was waiting, a lady asked the young and personality-void baristas if espresso has caffeine in it and THEY SAID NO?

OK.

We drove to a nearby park called Harrison Hills or something and I can’t hear “Harrison” without thinking of Dexter’s son but that’s ok. So we go to this park and it’s still ugly and cold out but at least the park was kind of nice? There was some stupid overlook thing by a playground so we walked out onto it and I was like, “OK, so we can see across the ugly river, cool.”

Then we took the above picture to send to Chooch as a reminder that we exist, and he said “Wow.”

And you know what, that was pretty much it for Sunday.

The weather was so blah over the weekend, BUT! It was still such a nice one. Mostly because on Saturday, we had plans to meet up with some friends at Golden Age, a brewery in Homestead. Way back at Chingumas, our friend Sean was telling us about it and we did the whole, “Oh, we’ll have to make plans to meet up there!” song and dance. But you know what? No more excuses! I followed up on this and then when our friend Todd found out and mentioned he hadn’t seen Sean in years, I said YOU SHOULD COME TOO BUT YOU HAVE TO BRING YOUR GIRLFRIEND. Todd had mentioned that his gf Brittany loves going to concerts and watching K-dramas so I was like, “I need to be her friend!”

I’m not desperate. I swear.

Anyway, I felt like a secretary going back and forth between text and Teams, but we eventually locked in a date and I felt so accomplished.

Henry and I got there first. I had emphatically said that I was only drinking one (1) beer. I get way too overzealous when we’re with Amy, wanting to sample everything, and then I don’t realize how wasted I am until it’s too late and then the rest of the day/evening is shot! But this time, I said, “One beer, with food.” And I held myself accountable! Actually, drinking one full sized pour pretty much does me in, anyway. There was no way I could drink anything after this Belgian thing, especially because it didn’t WOW me. I am learning that just because I like “Belgian beer” does not mean I like “all Belgian beer.”

Henry got something that tasted like smoke. I didn’t like it. But I did sip his next beer and I liked that a lot. I don’t remember what it was. I’m so great at blogging. Hire me to be the historian of your next event.

Sean arrived next, and then Todd and Brittany! I practically shoved Todd out of the way in my effort to greet Brittany – you know how sometimes you just get A VIBE from someone and know it’s going to be good? It was that for me. Brittany has this confident and friendly air about her and we (after I assigned Todd a seat at the end of the table so that Brittany could sit next to me haha) settled into easy conversation right away. Do you how awkward I can make introductory meet-ups? Very. But because Brittany was so cool and casual, it set the precedent for the rest of our drinking lunch.

Sean and Todd gossiped like little girls about ancient Law Firm things* while Brittany asked Henry and me about my favorite subject – Korea!

*(I failed to mention that Sean worked there when I first started and then left around three years later I think, so Todd and I both got to work with him long enough to actually care and be sad that he left.)

We also talked a lot about music – yes, I was also engaging in the work gossip but hello that was boring for Henry & Brittany so I kept trying to steer the conversation away from work. Brittany likes trip hop! And she was also talking about a concert that she and Todd went to at the Warhol, where they were in the FRONT ROW and Todd fell asleep – what a Henry move! Anyway, Brittany explained that it was extra embarrassing because the singer was talking about her time working with Diddy and the abuse she endured. “She was in one of his groups,” Brittany clarified and I cried out, “DANITY KANE???”

“Yes!” Brittany said, and Henry and I were like !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! because Danity Kane has come up in conversation at least 3x for us in as many months, to the point where we I was going down the Wiki rabbit hole a few months ago to see who’s where doing what, and then on our drive home from Philly two weekends ago, it came up AGAIN because Henry said that one of Jennie’s new solo songs sounds like Showstopper, so we ended up listening to their whole discography (I probably included that in my liveblog!). I just thought it was so wild that here they were, coming up again.

Then we had a moment of silence for them, the girl group that could have been SO BIG.

Meanwhile, Todd was at the end of the table frantically trying to defend his concert snoozin’.

“She had a HARP!” he said. Henry and Sean were like, “Oh! Say no more.” But I was still on Brittany’s team for this one. It was DAWN RICHARD!! Up close and personal and Todd’s over there snoring in her face.

Things not related to our company that I want to remember:

• Golden Age has super friendly staff
• They have complimentary Chex Mix that one of them makes themself and it was so buttery and inexplicably delicious. I thought about it all weekend, which is no surprise considering my penchant for latching on and obsessing over the random side characters
  • (in this case, homemade Chex Mix)
• Bomb seitan wings
• At Chingumas, my friend Cara said that some guy we went to high school with owns or co-owns this place. The name sounded familiar but I don’t have any memories of him. That’s all.

I made Henry take a group picture before we left because you know how synonymous Henry is with “group selfie” lol:

Sean already has the next place picked out and said his wife Ines is going to come that time too! I kind of want to leave it up to the guys to schedule this one but then it could be like 9 years from now.

I’ll tell you, it certainly does not feel like spring as some crazy snow storm thing is blowing in but whatever. Here’s a Monday bullet train of things!

• A new cafe opened down the street in Dormont! I already forget the name but it’s owned by the neighboring Vietnamese restaurant and they have boba, so when Chooch was home we walked there on one of my lunch breaks. It was delightful! I got a triple taro boba and Chooch got an iced Vietnamese latte or something, I can’t remember but the young guy working there was so friendly and I felt like I knew him from a TV show or something. Anyway, look at how cutely aesthetic this place is!

• Can we just take a moment to think about how amazing Cory Booker and his 25 hour filibuster was? Just in case you didn’t know, I have been his fan girl for many years and he was my presidential pick for 2020. I was so bummed when he dropped out of the primaries, and I couldn’t vote for him.
• Speaking of politics and being bummed (this could go in so many directions actually) I had big FOMO that I couldn’t attend the #HandsOff protest on Saturday. We had prior plans and I didn’t want to bail last minute on those but shooooo, watching the footage from all over the country (and parts of the world!) had me screaming in solidarity! I heard there might be another round on the 19th – we’ll be in Philly visiting Chooch so I asked him if we could do it if it’s happening and he said, “I guess.” That’s mommy’s patriotic boy.
• Mark (or MORK as Haechan would say) just dropped his first full length album today and it is perfection! I am so proud of him. Let’s watch this together, shall we?

• New Girl Buddy has babies! I’m not sure how many yet but they are living in HNC’s porch roof as usual lol and every so often I will see one of them poking their little head out of the hole in the roof, like a little sardine and it’s so cute! I keep telling Girl Buddy to bring them over but she always turns her back on me when I talk to her. She’s kind of bitch, just gonna say it.

• I started eating blueberries again, for the first time since Bambi died. I’m not exactly sure where the correlation is there but I just know that I used to snack on them daily and then she died in front of me and I never wanted to eat blueberries again. But now I’m reintroducing them into my life. I also started painting my nails again after having bare nails since November because I lost the will to do these miniscule things that used to be habitual. I am still very hollow in some sense, and I definitely still cry every day, but I consider these to be pretty successful baby steps. Although, Janna recently sent me pictures of kittens and then sent me into a downward spiral lol. Baby steps, more like in utero doggypaddling.
  • The dichotomy is nutzo though because usually when I am this depressed, I shut myself off but lately I have been more social than ever and even though I am still in this weird limbo, I am at least enjoying life in the moment so that is a relief to me because for many mths there I felt like I could die at any moment and not care at all.
• Ugh Henry is two rooms away and I can still hear him eating. Then we just made eye contact and he froze mid-chew and I am so annoyed. He is so annoying when he chews. It’s like he’s claymation, there is no need for a human to make such exaggerated facial movements.
• I never thought that after decades of pointedly ignoring economics I would be suddenly understand tariffs, by no choice of my own, way better than the “president” of the United States.Well, I really think that’s all that I’ve got to say for now. Be nice to your neighborhood squirrels. 

My attention has been monopolized by G-Dragon and his recent comeback concerts in Seoul last weekend. Oh my Christ what I would have given be in attendance, especially day 2 where Daesung and Taeyang made guest appearances.

I’ve just been so thrilled that he is back in the public eye as an entertainer because it really seemed so hip in the air there for a while, but he’s back and has proven once again that he is more than just a “kpop idol” in Korea. He really is so much more than that, literally Korea’s treasure.

Anyway, I was inspired to do something with this picture of the first outfit he appeared in at his concerts, crown and all because he is THE KING AND KNOWS IT. I sent the picture to my friend Lyda at work – I was FIXIN’ to dish about it but have no one around me who cares so I have to force this upon people sometimes lol. I told her I was obsessing over his concert looks and she admitted to googling him and then was like, “Now I’m obsessed with G-Dragon.”

THAT’S RIGHT GIRL JOIN ME.

I needed to DO SOMETHING with this picture of him so I made a background of his signature daisies and then Henry’s Crafty made it into a pin for me, complete with black velvet backing.

The picture in the background was given to us by GD’s uncle the day we checked out of Dolce Bita in Pocheon and his uncle drove us back to the Ildong bus station while blasting GD’s music, literally one of the wildest and most memorable moments of my life, that actually had me saying, “Did that really happen??” to Henry and Chooch for approx. a year.

I love this so much and wore it out yesterday like a shiny badge of honor when we met friends for lunch (more on that separately!).

Jesus. Much like Robert Smith and Scooter Ward before him, I don’t think I can ever fully explain how much I admire and idolize this man. He is such a genius. There is no one to compare him to either – he is one of a kind. Ughhhhhh I love you, Jiyong.

Henry and I met Amy and Dick at Coven Brewing for our March Brewery Meet-Up. For as much as I had been enjoying trying new beers after discovering that I actually like beer now, I recently decided that I will only drink in social settings now because if there is one thing about me, it’s that I will go ALL IN when I like something and I was actually afraid that I was on the path to addiction. Yes, I know that it was mostly excitement but when I was finding myself eager to log off work so I could try a new beer in the fridge…well. To me, that’s a prob. So now, it’s weekends only AND it has to be if we’re going out with friends. Not just me and Henry sitting at home watching Kpop content and drinking.

(I think a lot of this is also akin to a midlife crisis, if we’re being honest with each other, Peggy.)

All of this is to say, I was looking forward to not only seeing Amy & Dick, but also having my first beer in over a week.

There were only two other patrons there when we arrived, which was good because that joint is TINY.

I don’t have much to say about this place. The vibe itself was fine, but I am an IPA snob now and I was not wowed by any of their offerings. I did have a strawberry & peanut butter sour that was rather delightful though, and then I let Amy talk me into the stout (porter? I never know) that tasted like thick, syrupy alcoholic coffee. I actually liked it but there is no way I could ever imbibe a full serving of that sludge. I should have stopped after my one IPA and sour (they were all in those glasses above – Coven doesn’t do flights but you can get tiny glasses which seemed like they were the same size you’d get with a flight), but I ended up also having that stout and something else- a lager or something. I just get so excited to hang out with Amy that I don’t pay attention to what I’m doing and end up going overboard. :/

A large group of bronzered women came in, looking like they missed the exit to Nashville, and the vibe was immediately turned on its end. I don’t know if it was a bachelorette thing or what but they were rowdy and 100% not my type of peeps. They did simmer down after a bit, or maybe my ears had just acclimated to the noise pollution, but when Amy asked if we wanted to get another round there, I suggested that we abandon ship and go down the street to Lolev.

OK not to toot my own horn, but what a great suggestion by yours truly! This place is a gem! Much larger yet somehow more welcoming, it wasn’t too crowded but the people were there all had their dogs in tow and I just felt immediate happiness. The girl behind the bar was super friendly and I had no ordering anxiety except that I thought a half-pour was going to be way smaller than it actually was and we’ll just say your girl was already halfway to wasted and Lolev easily carried me over the finish line.

But can we just talk about the MATCHA LAGER I got??

It was called IROH and for someone who loves matcha like I do, this was a great beer. It was so refreshing and the matcha somehow blended perfectly with the beer taste. I don’t understand it but I loved it. Amy also got it and loved it!

I also got the PRISCUS which is a double IPA – much better than the ones I had at Coven!

Sorry, Coven. I didn’t HATE you, but I just never want to drink your beers again.

I think this was the EPOQ which is a Flanders Red and I reallllly liked this one but in full transparency, Papa H should have cut me off way before this because I was fucking trashed.

I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT BEER THIS WAS?! I think I took this for Untapped.

I mean just look at me, someone take me home and put me to bed…

…which is exactly what happened after we left – got home around 6pm and passed out in my bed until 10:30, waking up once to puke. \I came downstairs and posted on Instagram only to see that I had already posted the same pictures on Instagram hours before and DO NOT REMEMBER THAT HAPPENING. Presumably in the car on  the way home!? It was at that point that I started to question my life choices, lol. Ugh, this was all too much for a Sunday, you guys. At the time of this writing, I have actually just returned home from another social outing but I limited myself to ONE BEER and guess who is stil fully functional and able to enjoy the rest of her Saturday evening? Your girl Mrs. G-Dragon, that’s who.

Oh, I forgot that we also staggered into Butterwood across the street for some on-the-road baked goods which I don’t even remember eating in the car.

Also, I said on the way there that I wasn’t going to talk about G-Dragon and then I talked about G-Dragon, lol. I can’t be silenced.

l

Corey and I were stressing over finding a good place to eat post-Mattress Factory when we first made plans but then Chooch came home from college and was like, “I want to go to Cafe Moulin. One of my friends recommended it.”

Turns out the FRIEND is Sophia, who probably is legit just a friend but I had to be a total mom about it and start grilling him for info. She’s part of his friend group in Drexel (HER ROOMMATE IS FROM ROMANIA!) and is from Grand Rapids but her dad went to CMU so I guess they were visiting Pittsburgh at some point because of that, but I thought it was kind of funny that we were going somewhere based on a quasi-tourist’s suggestion.

Especially since it wasn’t really anywhere near the Mattress Factory and Chooch said he didn’t necessarily mean that he wanted to go there THAT DAY but once it was mentioned, Corey and I both had CREPES ON THE BRAIN.

Speaking of brain, we spent the whole drive to Shadyside rehashing the body outside of the Mattress Factory. We were all determined to continue having a good day but now there was this macabre fog hunkering down on us, you know? Add to that the fact that Corey had recently hit a deer with his car and when we got out of it in the parking garage, he pointed out some DEER FUR that was still stuck to it?!!? I wailed, “WHY WOULD YOU SHOW ME THAT??”

He re-emphasized the fact that the deer was actually fine BUT STILL?! Jesus!

Anyway, Cafe Moulin was packed but luckily we were able to get a table within about 10 minutes. It took us forever to order because Corey couldn’t decide between sweet and savory so finally Chooch had enough and tossed a coffee creamer onto the menu. It landed on the Dubai chocolate crepe so Chooch was like, “Congratulations, now let’s move on with our lives.”

I’m telling you, Chooch is the adult amongst us.

FALALALALALA-FUCK these crepes were things of beauty! Corey let us try his and I had ordering remorse BUT my crepe was also delicious and so was Chooch’s (Chooch and I split ours with each other because we couldn’t choose – we made the right decision).

Chooch had to cut mine for me LOLOLOL.

His was the spanakopita and mine was….I forget but it was basically a caprese and oh, did it sweetly butter my muffin.

(Tivoli! Mine was called the Tivoli!)

Other things to note from Cafe Moulin:

• Corey and I go to the same therapy place so we talked extensively about our mutual family issues which inspired me to ask Chooch if he was happy, was his childhood ok, does he think he will need therapy someday?? He said yes, yes, and no!
• There was a young single diner sitting at a table for two, reading TUESDAYS WITH MORRIE while slowly peckig away at a crepe and sipping coffee. No shade on her at all, in fact, I was admiring her because I’m not the type of person who is OK with solo dining, but it did make me chuckle because the book choice kind of sent it over the top for me and I started wondering if she has one of the decks of cards that give you a solo adventure to go on and the one she pulled that morning was “eat crepes alone in a Parisian cafe while reading a famous memoir.”
• Chooch super dramatically spilled his glass of water. Like, he spilled it and then somehow spilled it again when he tried to set the glass upright and water was everywhere, but mostly pooled in the crotch of his pants. Luckily, he was wearing black track pants that day, but it was still enough of a spill that one of the servers had to come over to assist with a thick boi stack of napkins.

Overall, solid 10/10. I don’t have crepes very often but these really seemed like god tier crepes, at least for Pgh anyway.

After this, we went  to Kawaii Gifts and I bought the BSS album!! Corey and Chooch were like, “Mmm. That’s cool.” Things have really changed because when I used to go here, they never had anything kpop-related! And now they have a fairly decent collection, I must say.

Then we went to Amazing Books and as soon as we walked in, Chooch stopped in his tracks.

“Is this….oh wow, it is!” he said, in a “HARK!” stance and looking up at the ceiling. Turns out they were playing the new MEN I TRUST. What the actual fuck, you guys. I will always relate this band to THE MAYBE-DEAD BODY.

Chooch said this was the song that was on in Corey’s car when we were waiting to pull out of the Mattress Factory parking lot and then…well, you know the rest. UNLESS YOU DON’T READ EVERY BLOG POST I WRITE AND IN THAT CASE…well, I probably wouldn’t either I were you.

Chooch went over to the counter and had a lengthy conversation with the two guys working there about the new album while I was pretending to peruse books and not constantly thinking of the lady and the blood and the way her body was slumped over the curb of a random street in the Northside, and Corey was looking at a rack of greeting cards made by local artists which, btw, is also what he was looking at in the Mattress Factory’s gift shop, SHOULD I SEND HIM THE LINK TO MY ETSY CARD SHOP AND REMIND HIM THAT I TOO MAKE GREETING CARDS.

One last stop before we left was the little independent toy store and the lady working there reminded us of Janna’s mom a little so then Corey and I started up again with our favorite memory of Janna being beaten by her mom behind a curtained window and that was fun but also my stomach was starting to hurt from the crepes and the general excitement of the day so now I will associate that toy store with pain. Chooch meanwhile touched every single item in that place and then ended up not wanting anything, not even the dumb things that Janna’s mom was demo’ing for him (“THIS BALL CAN BOUNCE UPWARD OF 10 STORIES!”) which is CRAZY because I was offering to buy him pretty much everything since I was so happy to have him home.

And then we came home, where I would go on to spend the next two weeks hyper-obsessing over THE LADY and driving Henry and Chooch crazy over it.

(The next day when we were at lunch, I asked Chooch if he told any of his friends and he said, “No, because maybe did it occur to you that I’m traumatized and don’t want to talk about it?” he said drily.

“OMG REALLY??” I cried, ready to consult my mental Mothering manual.

“No!” he said, going back to looking at his phone while eating his omelet. Wow.)