Oh Honestly, Erin

Please bear with me. The next park I’m going to be recapping was one of the most beautiful, epic, and magical parks I have ever been to. I think Liseberg was unanimously everyone’s favorite park on the trip and with good, valid reasons.

We spent two full days here, stayed on site at the park’s majestic and BRAND NEW Hotel Curiosa, while also carving out time to explore Gothenburg. (Spoiler: if I wasn’t already betrothed to Seoul, I’d consider marrying Gothenburg.)

Our first full day in Gothenburg started with coffee in the room:

And just because this was in my camera roll, I’m including it here so everyone will know that this was the ONLY bev I had during the entire trip that I 100% did not like an would never get again. In hindsight, it really does sound fucking disgusting so I dunno why I thought I would like it. Also, we very quickly learned that PEAR is like the national fruit of Sweden. Everything is pear-flavored! I’m not mad about that (so long as caramel sits the fuck down). I had so many wonderful pear dranks, but this sadly WAS NOT ONE.

ANOTHER breakfast buffet to write home about (and I might have literally done so in at least one postcard but sadly the postcards that were mailed from this hotel have not seemed to have reached their recipients as of yet…).

It has been a huge adjustment being back in America and staying in cheap hotels that offer instant oatmeal and packaged Danishes as their free breakfast. That Coaster Crew Life really had me thinking I was Rich Kid Erin again. Th bread table alone had me feeling like the Power of Carb was compelling me to kneel in front of it like it was a goddamn altar.

And don’t get me started on the FIKA SECTION. Dessert after breakfast? MM YES, THANK YOU.

The cake portions were so gigantic, even for this little piggy. Patricia was behind me in line and offered to split a piece of carrot cake with me when I was openly whining about it being too big (mostly because I wanted room for other desserts  too, thanks) because that’s what Coaster Crew is all about you guys. It’s a team sport, really.

Getting our wristbands and meal vouchers. As I go back and edit these pictures, especially the ones like this one that feature so many of our coaster friends, my heart does some weird things.

For early entry, we all booked it to Luna, the park’s brand new family boomerang, because these types of rides are one-train ops by design so the lines can get long.

August asked Henry if he could ride with him and Henry was so smug about it. Bro, he doesn’t think you’re cool! He just wanted to sit as close to the back row as possible, probably!

Anyway, this was a fine ride for what it is! Smooth, pleasant, offered some seriously divine views of the park.

There were a couple of flat rides in that upper area that were also running for early entry but we had to wait a few more minutes for the rest of the park to open before getting to dig in to the rest of the coasters.

When I say this is one of the most beautiful amusement parks I’ve ever been to, please believe that I’m not being hyperbolic. I had watched so many videos on this park fore the last several years but it did NOT prepare me for this. I loved that the part of the park was on a hill, with various ways to access it – steps, ramps, escalators, elevators. So many of the rides were built into the terrain and it was incredible to see the absolute tangle of tracks and realizing that it belonged to three separate coasters AND a log flume.

(MICHAEL JACKSON RODE THAT LOG FLUME! I heard someone say it – Justin probably – and that info nug was firmly inserted into my brain so I kept reiterating it over and over, and yes we did eventually ride it!)

Chooch being annoyed and acting so put-out that he had to wait like a peasant for the rest of the park to open like the GP (general population).

OK WHAT HAPPENED NEXT THOUGH WAS ONE OF MY FAVORITE MOMENTS OF THE WHOLE FUCKING TRIP: The ropes were dropped and we all ran like morons to the nearest coaster – Valkyria, the park’s B&M dive coaster. However, as soon as we ran up the steps into the beginning of the queue, there was a big sign that said NO BAGS were permitted, only small items that could be put in a bin. Chooch and I turned around, saw that Henry had caught up and was lumbering up the steps, and tossed our stuff at him.

“HERE, HOLD THIS BYE!” we cried and ran back into the queue like giddy hyenas. All of the COOL YOUNG GUYS were with us when this happened and they ALL had bags so they were groaning about having to get a locker. Henry, desperate to be cool and probably still running on the high that he got from August asking to ride with him, offered to hold all of their stuff since he couldn’t ride anyway thanks to us being assholes.

Chooch and I didn’t know this was happening at first until they all came running back into the queue, yelling, “THANKS, DADDY!” and one of the guys, Hunter I think, said, “Your dad just offered to hold all of our stuff!”

“That’s why we bring him,” I said cheerfully.

“Oh my god,” Hunter said, laughing.

Also? This was the best dive coaster I’ve ever ridden! (Also it was only my fifth, but still!) I’m not usually a fan of these, but this one had great station theming, a fun layout, the drop went into a smoke-filled tunnel, and the view of the park from the top of the lift hill was just such a vibe.

Baggage claim. I think these were the last two to retrieve their things, so I didn’t get a chance to take a picture of Henry with the whole mound of belongings.

The queue for Helix, which would end up being one of my top 5 favorite coasters of the trip. More on that in the next post!

Kiddieland!

Again, every single park had the loveliest restrooms! Here in the US, you go into a restroom and you have to play the “look for feet under the stall door” game most of the time to see if there are any vacancies. I hate it! Please give Americans floor-to-ceiling doors! I have never felt more comfortable in public restrooms than I had in Scandinavia and Finland.

Chooch and I rode this adorable boat ride that had something to do with gardens, maybe?

OK look. Liseberg is home to Helix and Balder, but WAS THEIR MINE TRAIN MY FAVORITE COASTER OF THE PARK?? It was definitely the sleeper  hit amongst everyone in our group, that’s for sure. Lisebergbanan, you were (Liseberg)bananas. First of all, this coaster is 100% built along the hillside. It doesn’t seem like it’s going to be that intense, and it *is* a family coaster after all, but H O L Y S H I T this fucker was so much fun and had me giggling my face off every single time. I think, aside from Balder and Helix which we had ERT on, we probably rode this the most out of everything. I just couldn’t stay away! And with Liseberg’s app, they give you so many opportunities to reserve ride times so you can skip the line, and we pretty much used it for this every time.

Although honestly,  the park wasn’t very crowded so even without using it, the most we waited for anything was probably around 30 minutes.

View from Lisebergbanan’s queue.

You can see Henry in the reflection!

Looks like it’s going to be your basic family coaster. BUT IT IS SO GOOD.

This section of the park was sooo cool and had the best restaurants. We ate at that first one a bit later. What does that say, Skeppsmagasinet??

A darkride about rabbits! The queue was adorable so I didn’t mind that we had to wait for about 20 minutes for a kids ride.

Never pass up a photo op with a mascot!!

OK back to that place for lunch. Chooch and I both had bbq seitan which was DELECTABLE but for me, the real show stealer here was the FRENCH FRIES. Definitely the best goddamn fries I’ve had in quite some time. They were cooked perfectly – the kind of greasy crisp that melts in your mouth. Ugh, this is painful. That picture is causing a flash flood in my mouth. Would I request this for my last meal? I DUNNO, MAYBE??

I think I took this by accident, but it’s the queue line for the HAUNTED WALK-THRU. It was pretty decent. Almost immediately when we came out of it, we ran into Kevin and Pam and Chooch of course was like, “PAM YOU SHOULD GO IN THIS, IT’S DEFINITELY NOT A HAUNTED HOUSE AND THERE ARE DEFINITELY NOT CLOWNS” and she was like, “OK, do you guys want to go in again with us?”

So that’s how we ended up going through a second time with Pam slowing us down and screaming every 2 seconds.

The haunt was really fun though, great theming and some genuine live-actor scares.

We rode the famous log flume on this day too and it was pretty effing incredible. You start out on the main level and the first hill takes you all the way to the top of the hill, where you then proceed to interact with Luna, Helix, and Lisebergbanan. What an incredible log flume, and they even squeegee it for you before you get on!

Rumor has it that it’s going to be removed and, unless the park has no choice but to remove it because of age/deterioration/end of its ride cycle, I really hope that this isn’t true. This is hands down, without there being theming, one of the best log flumes I’ve ever been on for sheer atmosphere and views alone.

Here you can see two Lisebergbanan trains in action.

The author of Pippi Longstocking! She’s also on the 20 kronor bill which I made Henry keep so I could have it as a souvenir,

I dunno any of these people because I’m not current on Swedish pop culture, but I thought these hand/feet prints were really cute and fun!

Here we are waiting for dinner.

DINNER CLIFFHANGER.  Once I get too close to 2000 words in one post, I start to get the shakes. Check back later for the rest of day one at Liseberg.

My crude guesstimate of the route our overnight busride took. 

Guys. Before we start talking about Tusenfryd, the only park we’d be visiting in Norway, can I please tell you about how I woke up at one point on the overnight bus trip and the wind was blowing so violently that the bus was slowly rocking side to side. It was horrific. All I kept thinking was, “Is this how I die? When people kept sending me news articles about roller coaster deaths, I’m going to die on the upper level of a doubledecker bus somewhere in….where am I?!”

I couldn’t see much out the window. I’m wondering if this was when we were going over the bridge to Sweden?? Because I woke up at another point too and I believe it was a border check?? I vaguely remember looking out the window, noting that we were pulled over, and seeing at least one person in uniform walking over and presumably getting onto our bus.

Another time I woke up, it was around 4:00AM and we were parked in front of the CURIOSA HOTEL in Gothenburg, dropping off the handful of people who voted against the overnight bus ride. I was kind of confused because at that point, we had like 4 hours left so why not just stay? I guess it was more of the fact that they weren’t into sleeping on a bus, not showering, and then spending a whole day at a park. I guess I get it.

But we paid for this trip with Norway on the itinerary, so if we had to drag our asses through a park wearing the same clothes as the day before, well, that’s what we were going to do. (Actually, I was already wearing layers the day before, so I came prepared with a different top layer to change into – GIRL SCOUT 4L.)

So yeah, if you’re wondering why it’s the next day and most everyone else is dressed the same, well, now you know.

Our grand introduction to Norway was rolling up to a gas station in the morning, everyone lining up for the bathroom, grabbing gas station foods for breakfast (our first skoleboller was purchased here and even though it was from a gas station, it was DELICIOSO – a custard bun rimmed with coconut flakes?? more please), and then brushing our teeth as a group in the parking lot.

It might not have been glamorous, but it was a goddamn adventure!

Got to Tusenfryd around 8:ooAM. This entrance is so iconic! In the background, you can see the famous Norwegian loop, and element on the Intamin launch coaster, Speed Monster, which was the first of its kind. There are only two other coasters in the world with this element and I have been on all of them! Fahrenheit at Hershey, and Helix at Liseberg in Sweden. This is very thrilling to me for some reason. Probably because I am a very empty person who will latch on the smallest things to feel full, lol. That’s me.

Of course, the park wasn’t open to the public yet, but we had two wonderful Tusenfryd representatives taking care of us. That thumbs-up man unlocked the restrooms for us, and the woman was SO FUCKING SWEET and totally excited to give us a VIP tour before the public arrived.

Snagged this from Coaster Crew’s IG story. We’re missing some people who were in the bathroom though! I made damn sure I was around for EVERY GROUP PICTURE.

I think I got this from the event FB page. I love that I’m nowhere near Henry and Chooch in either picture, lol.

The first thing that happened was we got ERT on the park’s brand new launch coaster, Storm: Dragon Legend. The really cool thing is that they did a double launch for us, meaning each train was cycled through twice so when it came back into the station, it RELAUNCHED which was so crazy! They don’t run it like this regularly, so this was just another “I can’t believe I’m here, doing this cool thing with these amazing people” moment.

Either Larry or Jean took this!

I honestly think this may have been my favorite coaster on the trip. You get launched forward, roll back into a backward launch, and then launch forward again at an even greater acceleration before basically getting your face ripped off on the rest of the layout. And then with the double-launch, you come barrelling back into the station and launch forward AGAIN and go through the whole layout a second time. What an amazing experience!! I definitely liked this the best in the back, later on in the day after it warmed up – the backward launch practically left you completely inverted in the backseat. It was so incredibly intense! Chooch still maintained that he liked the front seat better, and I definitely can understand that too. This coaster honestly blew me away.

Chooch in the backrow with Sam – I love that he made his own friends on this trip.

Next, our awesome Tusenfryd host walked us over the Speed Monster, where we got to walk around the infield and go instead the engine room, which was a REALLY BIG DEAL for the true thoosies.

Chooch never waits for us.

Then we just walked right into the station from the employee entrance and got on! Here’s Chooch riding with Debbie! I think this might have been the first train of the day.

I ended up liking this more later in the day when we re-rode it.

After that, the park was officially open for the general public, but it never got crowded. Probably because it was still drizzly and dreary but!! It ended up being a beautiful day after a few hours. We actually to SEE THE SUN. I don’t think we had seen the sun and blue skies since Bakken and Tivoli Gardens back on Day 1! Storm Hans really did a lot of damage over those few days. I watched some news footage on YouTube after we came home and it is actually amazing that the worst we personally had seen was the gale force winds at Farup Sommerland. That storm ripped through parts of Norway, Denmark, and Sweden and was apparently the worst storm the region had seen in over two decades.

More pictures of Chooch being a Coaster Crew orphan.

I vividly remember having SUPER BAD CRAMPS around this time and wanting to curl up in a bathroom stall and die. Luckily, Henry the Pharmacy had Ibuprofen or something and I ended up being OK so pretty much this was the end of the period saga. I had like 87 tampons in my purse and zero accidents happened on my watch. MMKAY.

This coaster was actually terrible. I should note that around this time, we “lost” Chooch. Not really, but we were all in line for the park’s spinning coaster and it broke down. A bunch of us didn’t want to wait, but Chooch opted to stay with some others from our crew. We rode this wooden coaster with Robert and Dawn and I was not a fan. Henry was not a fan. I don’t think Dawn was a fan. But Robert was WOO HOOING to the high heavens. He said he loves rough coasters! I really thought my spine was misaligned after that.

FUN FACT though: People say that the first part of this reminds them of a wooden Phantom’s Revenge because the first drop angles down to the right like Phantom, and then there is another drop right after, similar to Phantom’s as well. I didn’t even realize that because I was too busy having my brain jackhammered out of my head.

This park WAS SO BEAUTIFUL. Even in the drizzle, everything was just so lush and vivid. I need to go back to Norway for real, and soon.

We eventually reunited with Chooch who recounted all of the people he rode with on various rides without us and I had so much FOMO because there I was, stuck with Henry. But then something amazing happened! We ran into Pam and Kevin and rode Thor’s Hammer with them!!

It’s a 3D dark ride and honestly, none of us knew what was going on because, Norwegian, but it was so much fun and of course I had to purchase the souvenir picture! Pam is covering her face because this was a scene with SNAKES and Pam hates SNAKES. If there is one thing I’m great at, it’s instantly retaining the things that people hate, like some fucked up savant, and then using these things later on to fuck with that person.

(Although, I did find out later from Kevin that she hates snakes because her mom was bit by one!!)

OK, I need to end here because Henry is being a baby and wants to sit with me but apparently I’M REALLY MEAN WHEN I’M BLOGGING. So they say.

I’m really having a great time reliving these moments but it’s making my heart feel like it’s on fire. :( Especially because after Tusenfryd comes Liseberg and I had the best time at that park, and in Gothenburg in general. I still can’t believe most of this trip was real. I am so fucking broke now because of it, yet I FEEL SO RICH.

View from the back patio of our hotel.

Somehow, this is only DAY FOUR?!

We woke up this morning (Tuesday, August 8th) after a crazy night with seriously gnarly wind whipping at our windows with little reprieve. I honestly was kind of wondering if the park was even going to open at all. It was honestly THAT WINDY.

We had another delicious breakfast buffet because Denmark be feeding us proper-like. I had to laugh because this one guy in our group was always asking people, “Do you want to know who I would cast as [x] in my movie about [z]??” and it was always something so totally random, like he actually spent time contemplating writing an imaginary dream movie about these coaster podcaster/YouTubers called In the Loop.

Anyway, on his way back to the table after getting a juice refill, Chooch said he overheard him saying about how was eating carbs and his mom would be happy or something. So, in full-on character, Chooch says to us excitedly, “Guess who I would cast as a Carbohydrate in my movie about Nutrition??”

This is something that I think about daily. It seriously made me laugh so hard, my stomach hurt!

Chooch purposely wouldn’t let me stand next to the squirrel. :(

And yes, Chooch was still wearing shorts and t-shirts. And no, he wouldn’t let us buy him a hoodie or sweatshirt in the gift shop (but he DID go for a blanket which he used on the bus and plane for the rest of the trip like the little bitch baby that he is).

PAM!

Oh! This was around the time Pam found out that Chooch and I were trying to start a rumor that she didn’t like Henry, LOL. She said, “Oh, you guys! Poor Henry!”

When I say I miss Pam…

The back of our hotel! I imagine the front must look similar but it was dark when we arrived the night before and everyone was trying to hustle inside before what felt like a tornado swept us away.

Somehow, someway, the park was open. 4 of the 7 coasters were running. Unfortunately for us, the three that WEREN’T running were really good ones that we were all stoked for, especially Fonix. But…you can’t control the weather and we all seemed to still be in good spirits! I mean, looking back on this day, I can’t even remember fighting with Henry and/or Chooch the whole time, so I guess Farup was pumping positive energy into us.

I can’t believe this was running! There were moments where the wind was so forceful that it felt like the train wasn’t going to make the full rotation. I’m sure this was a fun coaster (we’ve ridden the clone at Dollywood) but all I remember is THE WIND.

But this park though! Even on a dreary day, it still had summer camp charm. I think this is the second time at least that I have referenced summer camp in relation to this vacation when I have never been to summer camp. In fact, the most camp-y thing I have ever done was Girl Scouts day camp which lasted for a week five minutes from my house but I still hated every single minute of it. What did we even do?? Play fucking hand jives?!

Actually, that sounds accurate.

OMG this wild mouse was so insane! First of all, the maintenance guys had to keep coming out to push some of the cars up onto the lift hill because they weren’t catching or something?! The more knowledgeable men on trip knew what was going on and were giddily filming it but I was just like, “OK that’s cool but I hope we get to ride this before they decide this is too much work and shut ‘er down.”

FUCK MALTER!! WHAT AN HONEST TO GOD COCK KNOW, AMIRITE.

Part of Saven, the family boomerang – it was fun and family-ish!

Look – I was happy because as dreary as it looked, it didn’t rain more than the occasional drizzle all day, and it was somehow less cold than the day before. I mean, yeah I was still chilly, but I had THREE LAYERS on this time and thicker socks too I think. I was golden. Just happy to be in Denmark!

Hundebar! YOU GUYS, A DOG BAR!! Obviously, there were no dogs there that night because aside from our group….there wasn’t really anyone else there now that I think about it, lol. Maybe like 20 or 30 non-Coaster Crew people, tops?? And I imagine those were hotel guests and not people who went out of their way to be there in GALE FORCE WINDS. I think this was my first time experiencing this level of air viciousness and it was really something else.

I miss Denmark bathrooms so much! And I miss grassy rooftops!

I’ve seen videos of Farup when the weather is better and this is actually a free perk and not an upcharge! In America, you would be paying extra for sure. There isn’t even an attendant, you just handle your own canoeing shit like a grown-ass capable human, and everyone moves on with their day.

Denmark moss! I can’t wait for Alyson to see this. We have an inside joke about Henry and his FURY FOR MOSS that has lasted nearly 20 years! Actually, it’s not really that much of an inside joke because I had written in my livejournal one time that Henry was absolutely savage one day at the cemetery about how MOSS IS BAD, LEAVE IT AT THAT.

Wow, someone got some moss up his ass while serving the U.S.A. it sounds like.

DOES THIS LOOK LIKE AN AMUSEMENT PARK?! It was so beautiful even on this overcast day. Just imagine it with blue skies and sunshine. Jesus.

HENRY NEVER SMILES WHEN IT’S HIS TURN TO TAKE THE #CAROUSELFIE

Lol, he was sitting on this little motorcycle thing.

Again with the woodland theming and the adorable little forest critters! Did I tell you that I didn’t see one single squirrel in Denmark?? Henry said he actually saw one here in Farup but by the time he tried to show me, the squirrel had already disappeared into a mass of trees.

Basically you guys, we got our 4 coaster creds within an hour. In addition to the ones I mentioned, there was also a kiddie coaster which sent us around three times and I majorly jammed up my shoulder on two of those laps and then tried to tell some girl about it when we exited, you know, just a “hey heads up, watch yourself when it goes around that bend over there” and she was like, “MMmm.” Don’t even get me started. Chooch loved how much she hated me though. And then were some mine train coaster that the ride op was like, “DO YOU WANT TO AGAIN” and Henry said NO at the same Chooch and I said, “Yeah sure, wooo!”

Then it was lunch time! We were like 2 minutes early but I could see people moving around inside, and for some reason we thought the doors to the pizza buffet were just “normal closed” but after we pried them open and walked in, we quickly realized that the doors were actually “we’re not ready for patrons closed” and the people I saw inside were actually employees, one of whom came jogging over and (politely) shooed us out, lol. OOPS.

As we walked back outside, the girl that I tried to befriend at the park the day before approached. I started to tell her that they actually weren’t ready for us yet and wanted to tell her about how we fucked around and found out, but she FUCKING SWERVED ON ME. You guys, I have NEVER had someone actually that blatantly desperate to not talk to me that they actually physically SWERVED and walked away in another direction. Wow. That was. Wow.

But it was fine, because then another group from Coaster Crew came over to wait with us and it was actually my first time talking to them and they were very very very nice. (Future Erin, because your memory is probably rotting by now: It was Aly and Brandon.)

Lunch with the group was a pizza buffet and holy shit, remember how when I was writing about Tivoli Friheden I mentioned that the pizza had some kind of thinly-sliced parsnip or turnip, some sort of NIP!? Well, this pizza had it too! So, I took a picture this time in order to never forget how much I loved that mystery nip.

We’re over 1500 words now so we’ll leave off here and continue on with post-lunch things in the next update. This is 50% me wanting to drag this out forever because the very last post means I have to accept that the vacation is over (I mean, I’ve been home for over a month now, so…) and 50% me being tired by the time I have some free time at night to write. I play tennis nearly every night after work, you guys. It’s my new lifestyle. *blows on nails*

Here’s Airtime Thrills’ vlog from that day! You can see Chooch and me on the kiddie coaster (he was filming for what felt like the entire cycle and it was excruciating since we were in the front seat!) and all three of us on the mine train).