And maybe also: people-eating food.
- Chris and Monica
- Kara and Harland
- Blake and Aaron (and their two friends who came later but I forget their names because I had already had too much to drink by then)
- Amy and Dick
- Wendy, Shawn and Summer
- Corey WHO WAS LATE (j/k I knew he was coming late)
It’s a pretty awesome feeling to know that you have friends who will indulge your random whims. When I sent out the Facebook invite for this get-together, I didn’t anticipate that many people would be into it. Of course people were wary, and possibly also dry-heaving, but to my delight there was lots of gross recipe-posting and discussion about what to bring! My friends rule. I love you, Friends.
Even Wendy, who wouldn’t make jellied chicken salad.
I would like to point out at this juncture that Wendy’s baby Summer is likely staring dreamily at the clown in the painting behind her, because I caught her ogling ALL OF THE CLOWNS in my house. It’s a treat to know that Summer, at such a young age, has opened up her heart to our misunderstood face-painted brethren.
That time Monica disapproved of Henry feeding Chris.
Bar had the best view in the house: Trudy’s ass.
We have some party-pleasing Xbox game called…I forget now…but up to 4 people can play along on their phones so while it looks like everyone in this picture is bored to the point of scrolling through Twitter, they were actually all playing inappropriate games with my inappropriate kid.
I told Wendy she could bring Summer because that meant Barb would come too. I do what I can.
Aaron told Lisa that she had a beautiful Jello mold. This boy is seriously invited to all of my parties from now on. Plus, he was very complimentary of my helter skelter interior design methods! Younger people get me. And after talking about an array of topics that covered OJ Simpson and the band La Dispute, it occurred to me that I’m not actually socially awkward at all, I just don’t know how to talk to people over the age of 25. Something to work on for 2016, maybe.
That time the Bromance spawned a baby.
Shawn and I talked about mutual bands we like for awhile and it was really nice so I’m not mad at him anymore for saying that Kurt Travis sounds like someone’s pissed-off little sister.
OMG Cara and Angie both brought me succulents! I love them so much! (The succulents, I mean, although Cara and Angie are very nice too!) You have no idea how into succulents I am. Lol, never mind. You totally know. I named the one that Cara brought me “Dierdre Hall” but I’m still thinking about fitting names for Angie’s. I’m sure there will be an entire blog post about it, so stop back.
I thought that I didn’t get any photos of Lisa but then I found this one and rejoiced! I’m really sentimental. I’m sure she’s thrilled because I talked to her the next day and whined about not getting a picture of her and she was like, “You have a million pictures of me doing everything from being sexually harassed by two middle aged men at the .38 Special show to peeing in a McDonald’s bathroom stall. I’m sure you’ll live without one of me eating gelatin, too.”
She didn’t really say that but I’M SURE SHE WAS THINKING IT.
Ladies and gentlemen: My sister Amy and brother-in-law Dick! This was their first time at my house because they live in Ohio so usually we meet halfway when we want to get together, but neither of them had to work so they were able to attend! I don’t get to see them nearly as much as I would like, so I was stoked.
One of the highlights of the night for me was when Corey arrived just as Janna was on her way up the steps to go to the bathroom, and he literally PUSHED HER out of the way and yelled, “JANNA STOP I HAVE TO GO SO BAD!” and then bathroom-blocked her. And even better was that when he was done, she was about to make her way up the steps again but then I had to go really bad so she was just like, “Jesus Christ, go ahead,” throwing her hands up to my hole-y ceiling.
Fuck! It just occurred to me that there were people there that night who weren’t previously privy (I almost typed “poncheezied” which is a Dance Gavin Dance song, god get a clue) to Janna’s struggle with Robitussin addiction and abusive mother and Corey and I totally missed a prime story-telling audience.
Chooch entertained us with his rendition of “Bang, Bang” and I’m pretty sure this was the point where Monica was furtively whispering, “No really, NOW CAN WE GO?!” into Chris’s ear.
This was how I found Henry at the end of the night.
IN CONCLUSION, the Bomb Shelter Picnic was more fun than I anticipated. And not that I’m complaining or anything, but I’m kind of surprised that not a single person brought Spam!