We used to go to Kennywood every Father’s Day because for some reason it is traditionally uncrowded there that day. I guess most dads want to stay home and grill meats, who knows. I’m not a dad, I don’t know what goes on in Dad Minds.

It ended up being not crowded, per the norm! And Chooch had already said he was bored before we even entered the park so that was a great start, status quo, welcome home, etc.

Steel Curtain finally reopened this season after having been closed all of last season and….most of 2023 I think? I quit caring, to be honest. Kennywood does this thing where they buddy up with a coaster manufacturer and agree to have a prototype / first of its kind added to the park and then it ends up being a maintenance nightmare, but whatever – you do you, K-wood.

Oh! I can’t believe I never mentioned this on here but Kennywood and its sister parks were recently bought by Herschend, the owner of DOLLYWOOD AND SILVER DOLLAR CITY. I am so stoked on this. Do I wish that Kennywood could go back to being family-owned? Of-fucking-course. But this last corporation that owned them (Palace) made some real stupid choices. I’m hoping that Herschend will put some theming in, get some better food up in that piece (I’m thinking of YOU, Dollywood’s famous cinnamon bread,  but then again – it might lose its novelty if we’re able to have it whenever we want here in Pittsburgh!), and AHEM – RMC MAYBE??? We know Herschend has a good relationship with RMC! (OK, Lightning Rod might have tarnished that relationship BUT they were still invited to re-track Fire in the Hole at Silver Dollar City, so maybe??)

Sorry. Tangent.

LOL Henry had to ride with some other dad. They immediately started talking, too, and Chooch and I were dying. Then Chooch realized he had allowed himself to share a moment with me and went back to being sullen and bored.

Anyway, Steel Curtain is still good! I didn’t notice the new trims that much, but Henry said that his ride was super bumpy but maybe that’s just because his brain is bumpy.

KANGAROO.

Honestly, nothing that exciting happened all day so this is mostly just going to be pictures.

We didn’t even really ride that much because we were all tired for various reasons (Henry and I had a late Friday night and then the No Kings protest most of Saturday, and Chooch is just perpetually tired because he’s of a certain age + spent all of Saturday on a train home). But we did get some Phantom rides in and I can confirm that it is STILL one of my all time favorite coasters.

Then Chooch guilted me into riding Black Widow with him and I cannot stress enough how much I dislike this ride.

They assign you a number when you walk on and are very serious about everyone sitting in their assigned seat. They were going in order starting from 1 and I ended up being 15 but then they skipped to 20 for Chooch. I know it was weight / balance thing because the park wasn’t crowded enough for them to fill every seat on each cycle, but it was still annoying because I didn’t want to ride at all and now I had to sit alone. Then they moved him and some of the people next to him clear on the other side!

I’m not going to lie, I thought I was going to throw up as the ride was coming to a stop. I was hungry and also definitely needed water so that just exacerbated things and I am totally certain that all of the casual bystanders could tell that I was having a bad time, lol. The ride operator even said, “How was that ride?? Some of you looked like you were having fun, others….did not.”

HEY, THE LITTLE NEXT TO ME ALSO HATED IT AND WAS YELLING AT HER BROTHER THE WHOLE TIME FOR MAKING HER RIDE IT, SO THERE.

DARK SKIES.

OMG he’s so happy to be home with mommy and daddy.

We didn’t get a Golden Nugget! But we have season passes so I’m sure I will get my Gol’Nug fix at some point this summer.

That stupid Bites & Pints thing was happening again so Henry bought a dumb tasting card and there was next to nothing for non-meat eaters, I’ll tell you that much. Chooch and I would have been extra-screwed if we were full vegan. As it were, we could only really eat the dessert options at nearly every country’s booth. I was PISSED at Italy because it looked like ALL THREE OPTIONS were meatless so I was stoked and asked for the flatbread that had peaches and cheese on it, I forget the exact kind. But then when I saw in under the heat lamp thing, it looked like it had MEAT CRUMBLES on it so I asked the guy who punched my taster card if it did and he emphatically said no. But some woman next to him overheard and said, “Yes, it does – pancetta.”

UGH!!! The description did NOT mention that AT ALL. Do better, Kennywood. It is literally 2025.

Oh and the “pints” option for Korea wasn’t even a Korean beer, but ok.

My favorites were the churros from Spain and whatever the raspberry pancake things were from Poland.

It started raining pretty hard around 3PM and Chooch was like, “Oh darn, I guess we will have to leave now.” He was in a big hurry to be done with family time!

Before we left, Chooch and I rode the Racer in the rain which was kind of fun actually, but there was a Jonny Craig-looking dad in front of us (in a wife-beater, no less) whose young son was sitting in front of him and he proceeded to SLAP THE KIND ON THE BACK OF THE NECK for the entirety of the ride?! Granted, he was doing it as a loving rough-housing type of thing but it was making Chooch and me so uncomfortable, like bro – ok, you could have stopped after the third whack, you know?

Just so fucking weird.

What else do I want to remember? Oh, Johnny Rockets is now the Carousel Cafe and they have a veggie burger! We were HOT several seasons ago when Johnny Rockets removed the black bean burger from their menu like fucking haters. Anyway, only Chooch wanted to eat there so I went inside with him while Henry went to pee (the Kangaroo really jostled it out of him), but then I realized I didn’t have my credit card so we standing there by the register like losers waiting for Henry to come back and then a big family came in and I was like UGH NOW THEY WILL GET IN FRONT OF US AND THIS WILL TAKE LONGER but luckily, they hung back to look at the menu and then I saw Henry finally walking over so I pushed Chooch over to the register to order. I was frantically waving Henry over but a mom and her daughter thought I was calling them over so they cut in front of the large family and joined us?!!? It was so awkward!!!

And then the young emotionless girl who rudely took Chooch’s order was so confused because there were three of us but only he was ordering and it turned into a whole thing much like everything does when the 3 of us are united, like we’re aliens from a planet of socially awkward dysfunctional families. She acted MAD that only Chooch was ordering food though and I was like, “MIND YO’ BUSINESS, MISSY.”

Anyway, not the most exciting trip to Kennywood but it was still fun, we rode Phantom, I sipped some beers, and it got us out of the house AS A REUNITED FAMILY and that’s all that really matters! Don’t worry, I’m sure there will be many more amusement park recaps this summer and hopefully at least one of them will be more exciting than this one.

No comments