After packing, Henry and I went out for one last walk around Helsinki. As with most places, I wish we had more time to spend here and I would love to come back one day! I mean, there *is* another park here that we didn’t make it to, so….lol.

Here are some photos I took during our walk.

We stopped at Fazer’s Cafe (the original location, apparently!) and I had an ACTUALLY GOOD chai latte and my last salty licorice (salmiak) ice cream fix. :( I know I’m in the minority here but goddamn I love that shit. Henry and Chooch think it’s disgusting and won’t come anywhere near it, haha.

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Anyway, we’re at the Helsinki airport now, Saturday morning, 5:18am, waiting for our 7am flight to start our long trek home. This trip was so exhausting but in the best way. I say this all the time but I really want to make a scrapbook!!

Oh and I tried to actually record some stuff and Chooch allegedly is going to help me edit everything so maybe someday I will have something that I can share here?!

Checking in from the ferry to Tallinn, Estonia! This is the first time of the whole trip that it was warm enough (for me, anyway) to wear shorts. I tried to shave in the tiny shower of our Helsinki apartment last night and just realized now that I missed half of my right leg so that’s great. I know, I know, normalize hairy lady legs etc etc but it bothers me personally. I’m about to buy a razor on this ferry and dry-shave in a bathroom stall, lol.

(Future Erin here: I totally did that too  well, I made Henry buy the razor and bring it back to me because why else keep Henry around.)

We should be in Tallinn in about an hour and I’m so excited! Aside from the coaster crew portion of the trip, this is my most anticipated excursion so I hope it lives up to my expectations.

Hello from a train traveling from Turku –> Helsinki. This morning was absolute chaos because Henry is literally the biggest dunce when it comes to traveling and single-handedly took everything I had planned for a half-day in Turku and set it aflame. It’s fine. Chooch saved the day as usual because he actually understands how various modes of transportation work.

But anyway, all of that is to say to that I really really really miss Coaster Crew and the organization that came with the trip. I know it can be better to travel outside of the confines of a tour group when it comes to flexibility but sometimes the convenience is unmatched.

Yesterday was our first day without the group and I was really feeling it. I miss them so much you guys. When we came back to the Sheraton after Gröna Lund on our last night, everyone kind of hung out in front saying goodbye and it was beyond emotional (well, not for Henry – he didn’t make any friends).

Here’s me and Pam in the luggage room at the hotel! She was hands down my fave person that I met. Real Barb Riley vibes from that one.

Then Tim and I made each other tear up twice – he said we’re a sweet family and in my head I was like “you must have missed the 728394 bickerings we had this whole time” lol.

After we got settled in our room, Henry and I walked to a pharmacy to get contact solution for me and fries for Chooch at McDs, then we went down to the hotel bar to hang out with Pam and Sherry, who were being hit on by some guy named Hans who wanted to go to Pam’s room to “exchange email addresses.” I was dying. Sherry had this look on her face like “STOP ENGAGING WITH THIS CREEP.”

Tim and several others were also hanging out in the lounge so I was really soaking up as much as I could. I hate saying goodbye to people! (I’m crying on the train now lol.) I have so much to recap once we get home in a few days and it is going to take so long and will 100% not do the trip justice.

I know some people might think it’s weird or a “waste” to travel for theme parks / rollercoasters but we had the best time, saw some crazy shit, made time for tourism, rode some bucket list rides, rode out the worst storm that the region had seen in the last 20 years when we were in Denmark (Storm Hans), survived a 13 hour overnight bus ride to Norway when the ferry was canceled, and did this all with so many nice/crazy/interesting people who I hope to see again one day. I will never regret taking a chance and signing up to do this trip, knowing no one from the group, having to take a loan out against my 401k to afford it because it was something that just felt worth it, and that turned out to be true.

I will never forget it. And it ended so fittingly with me and Chooch in the back row of Monster with Sam and Dewey, last train of the night, everyone on the train screaming “Coaster Crew! Coaster Crew!” when it came back to the station.

Ugh my goddamn stupid dumb heart. Ow.

There was a car show outside of our hotel this morning! I walked over to snap some photos for my car-enthusiast dad and was excited to see some Saabs because when I was a teenager, I wanted a Saab in the worst way because OJ Simpson’s daughter had one lol.

Chooch and I were kind of standing off on the side at first but some guy came over and said, “Come look, come look!”

Plus the trolley!

Also, I’m sad because this was the LAST BREAKFAST with the group. Pam sat with us so it was good. But now we’re on the bus back to Kolmarden for more ERT on Wildfire and people moved around again so it’s disorienting.

Today is Saturday I think. It’s currently 10:30pm and we’re unwinding in our hotel room in Norrköping Sweden after one ultra long day. First of all, we had to check out of the glorious Curiosa Hotel in Gothenburg after two wonderful nights, and be on the bus for a 6:20AM departure for a small park called Skarra Sommerland for three credits. We almost all passed out as soon as the bus left the hotel. I was mad because it was a new bus and it made me feel disoriented!! Some people changed seats and I didn’t approve. Anyway, we were almost to the park when Tim came on the speaker and said that he had found out via email THIRTY MINUTES before we were expected to arrive that the main attraction, the coaster we were supposed to have ERT on, was DOWN and they were trying to get a part from another park.

We still went because we had already driven out of the way for the +3 credits so we had to make the best of it. Then another coaster was down, plus a major flat ride. So we rode a spinning wild mouse and they opened some stupid flag ride in kiddie land for us. It was a let down but we all made the best of it. I was laughing because after we left there to go to Kolmarden, there was one part where the bus was swaying because the road was so rural and wonky and someone behind me said, “Wow this is the best ride we rode all day” and someone else yelled, “put your hands up guys!” This group is awesome.

I will recap that part of the day more thoroughly when I do the park recaps, but I wanted to share some pictures from the town we’re staying in tonight. It’s about 25 minutes away from Kolmarden (which we will be returning to tomorrow morning for 2 hours) and SO CUTE! It’s only our second legit European style hotel on the trip so far (ie not a park resort, etc) and I am awash in nostalgia from my childhood European trips!

First though we had to get up to the rooms and it was a huge cluster being such an old hotel because there were only two elevators and everyone kept piling in and setting off the WEIGHT ALARM so then only 3 people could go up at a time. It was a whole thing so when it was finally our turn, Henry went in with Mark and someone else so Chooch and I pushed our luggage in with him and said we would just go and find the steps. Wow, that was an ordeal – super hard to find.

We tried taking the steps when we left our room to go exploring, but Chooch took us out the emergency exit and set off the fire alarm. One of the younger guys from our group, Hunter, joined us a floor or two down and we were like, “Um what is that sound?” and Henry was like HE SET OFF THE FIRE ALARM and we were like, “UM, AWKWARD” so we ducked into an elevator and pretended like it wasn’t us, lol.

Views from our room:

I love this cutie room!

Our nighttime stroll was really nice (Henry might have a different opinion lol). Chooch kept saying he was bored but I really thought this town was very quaint and beautiful. I had never heard of it before, so thank you Kolmarden for not budging on a group discount and forcing Tim to find a hotel offsite.

We walked to a nearby grocery store because I needed saline solution (didn’t have any) and the cashier was so nice and asking us where we’re from and what we think of it here. Honestly? Fucking love it. Sweden in general has been chef’s kiss. Of course I don’t love it as much as SK (as in, I haven’t imprinted with it) but I definitely fell in love with it and can see myself already being desperate to return, ugh.

I’m super attached to the people in our group though, even the ones that I never talked to, and I am not ready to say goodbye tomorrow night. I’m happy that it’s only the first half of our trip that’s ending, but sad that we’ll be on our own starting on Monday. And also sad that we’ll be leaving Sweden on Monday, too!

It is going to take me months to recap everything. I even have been trying to record more video this time too because that is one of the many things I regret about our SK trips – I took barely any video.

Of course we all still have at least one argument a day (usually food-related or because someone is gaslighting) but I am generally very happy with how things have gone so far and I know I have probably said these words 894x here, on Instagram, in my handwritten vacation journal, Twitter, or out loud to anyone who will listen, but I am so happy we took a chance and put our faith in Coaster Crew and maybe spent more than we could afford, but it has been worth it so much for this experience, friendships, and memories! I’m so happy but also ready to cry, lol.

Even the parts of the itinerary that didn’t go as planned because of weather or technical issues haven’t been enough to ruin the trip or even the day. Everything has been an adventure. NO REGERTZ.

(Look at me writing this like it’s the end of the chapter. Still one more full day with Coaster Crew left! And five more days with just the Oh Honestlys, trying not to get lost in Finland and Estonia.)

Yooo, we arrived in Gothenburg last night around 9pm after about a 3 hour drive from Tusenfyrd in Norway.

Tim hooked us up bigly with three nights here at the Liseberg Grand Curiosa. I was actually really surprised when I saw that this is where we’d be staying because this is a brand new hotel and it is legit supreme. Actually, Tim has been hooking us up with every hotel so far – even when our “hotel” was the bus for one night – he went out of his way to make sure we were as comfortable as possible. Tim for President, honestly.

The Cure organized their own music festival one summer in 2004 and it was called Curiosa, so you know I love this place doubly.

Chooch’s private suite, lol.

I’m going to miss this hotel when we check out on Saturday, that’s for sure!

We all took showers since we were ripe after 8 hours at a park / 13 hour bus drive /8 more hours at another park / 3 more hours on the bus, and then headed up for a stroll around 10:30PM. Chooch and Henry were annoyed with me because I was being a crosswalk drill sergeant. Sorry but I don’t want to be Those People who jaywalk in another country!

We found a 24hour McDonald’s and decided to check it out. They had vegetarian and vegan options!! Chooch and I both got the McVegan.

Henry was being embarrassing with his ordering so we left him and went to get a table. Henry is literally the most embarrassing person even in other countries. Even just like, Canada. Embarrassing. South Korea was probably the worst though. Like when he would confuse “hello” and “thank you” and it didn’t even matter because he wasn’t saying any of them correctly anyway.

It was OK.

Right when we were finishing up, a whole group of the young “popular” guys from our group came in and I felt really bad for the McD’s employees at that point because this crew is wild and chaotic, lol. Some of them spotted us in the back and pointed and waved, so I waved back and of course Henry, who had his back to the door, was like “WHO IS IT??” because he always has to be part of everything. So then Chooch, Mr. “I Don’t Care About Anyone’s Names,” started rattling off the names of the people who walked in, ha.

Then we went to a convenience store for drinks. Literally one of the best parts of traveling!

We came back to the hotel around 11:30 and crashed. I cannot say enough how much fun this trip has been so far! Obviously the coasters are what we came for, but the people have made it so much better. I’m obsessed. I can’t believe I was so afraid that we wouldn’t make friends.

Anyway, we’re just chilling in our room after dinner, getting ready to back to Liseberg (our hotel is on park property) in a bit for more exploring, and then our ERT on Helix starts when the park closes at 11pm! I really wanted to do better at blogging while I’m here so I wouldn’t have a ton to post when I get home, but this is not working out very well because I have been so busy and then by the time we get to the hotel, I’m too tired to do anything but collapse! Not everyone’s idea of a vacation, but this is so my style. Gimme this over laying on a beach any day!

Hello from a Tuesday evening on the bus! A lot has happened but in an effort to keep up with my micro-blogging of this trip, today’s small word bundle will be about Idiot Chooch’s 130 feet free fall on Sunday evening. Tivoli Friheden has a SCAD tower which I did know about going into this but didn’t really think much about it until that day when Tim said that it was included in the park admission for our group if anyone wanted to do it. Chooch was like, “what is it, I’ll do it” and I was like “oh great. I am so excited for my son to fall off a 50m tower into a fucking net, every mom’s dream.”

Love that the only thing he really has to say about it is that he hurt his knee again.

In “Now” news, we are in the midst of an itinerary shakeup. Starting yesterday, the weather has been real rainy and windy. Yesterday was mostly just a rain issue and luckily all the rides were open, but unforch, the forecast for the next several days were bad enough Re: wind that the ferries canceled their service so our ferry for Norway scheduled for tonight was canceled. When we got on the bus after Djurs last night, Tim broke the news to us and told us that we have two options: scrap Tusenfyrd, or drive 13 hours overnight by bus.

It was so dramatic and started to get semi-verbally hostile between some guys up on the top floor of the bus (where we are) and then some guys started shouting the pros of keeping Tusenfyrd and honestly I was in favor of the overnighter too because I want to go to Norway. Anyway, Tim had to walk around while everyone covertly showed him their vote on their phone and it felt like Survivor, like someone was getting voted off the bus. There was an overwhelming majority for OVERNIGHT so that is what’s happening and there are APPARENTLY at least two people who are very unhappy about this and are planning on leaving us in Copenhagen. [Yes, we were all the way super north in Denmark but have to drive all the way back to Copenhagen, get a new driver, cross the bridge to Sweden (which could be an issue depending on how windy it still is when we get there) drive up through Sweden to Tusenfyrd in Norway. Not the greatest but at least we’ll still get there.)]

Anyway, after we left todays park, Henry made some dumb joke to the bus driver about “can’t you maybe just fly us there? Maybe if we got some wings?” And it was SO UNCOMFY. I asked him to never do that again, his weird “flirting with another professional driver” voice, ugh. Then we stopped at IKEA so Tim could buy us pillows and everyone ate in the cafeteria.

Oh just 70 people unexpectedly storming IKEA 30 minutes before they closed. That was interesting. But it was so nice of Tim to get us pillows!!

Hey guys! It’s Sunday and we’re on the bus leaving Copenhagen for the next destination. Yesterday was so much fun but exhausting. Here are some pictures of breakfast at the Tivoli Hotel and other assorted photos from the hotel. We sat with our new pal Pam! We met her on the first night at the hotel dinner and I felt so relieved because I was worried that I wouldn’t make any friends here! But it has been really great so far.

Anyway, on the bus yesterday, we mostly just listened to everyone around us talking until I heard someone behind us mention South Korea and T-Express. Chooch said he thought to himself, “Oh god, no.” I looked at Henry and said, “I’m going in!” Then I turned around in my seat and exclaimed, “I LOVE T-EXPRESS!” The one guy was like “….” but the cooler guy was open to my insertion and we started talking for a bit so that was fun! Then this morning I saw the other guy who was like “….” and I said good morning! And he just looked at me and kept walking. Chooch started cracking up and I was like, “wow that hurt” lol. Most everyone else has been very welcoming though!

Anyway, I will post more thoroughly when I have time. This trip has been very go-go-go so far and I haven’t even read any of my book!!

Oh wait, here are also some pictures of our after-dinner walk on Friday!

Christiansborg Palace:

Tivoli at night! We would spend the entire next evening there but this was a nice little sneak peek!

Ok, now I’m going to go back to being nebby on this bus ride. Justin is pummeling Josh with technical questions about ride attractions and it’s really interesting.

Hello just checking in to say we made it to Copenhagen in case anyone is tracing us for nefarious reasons, now you know.

It was such a long and shitty travel day. I don’t know how I feel about this city yet but I do know that I miss my cats, Air France is not great, and I am very cranky. I think I need to eat lots of vegetables.

Thank god tomorrow is the true start of this trip – two parks on tap! And we met the president of Coaster Crew in the lobby and he is very nice so I feel a little more calm about this. Our group dinner is in 30 minutes though so we’ll see if there are any bestie candidates!

I found some more old-ass vacation pictures from the 90s and thought, wouldn’t it be useless/pointless to post a picture in conjunction with the utterly worthless shit I wrote from that same day in my vacation journal? I read some of it out loud to Henry last night and his expressions of sheer disgust and annoyance was the only answer I needed. Just a reminder that Sharon was my aunt (mom’s older sis) and that I will be transcribing this exactly as written to stay true to Erin v.1993, so “wuz” instead of “was,” etc.

Buckle up, buttercup. This is going to be a train wreck.

Today, Sharon woke me ↑ at 6:30! So I had to rush.It’s 7:20 now & she’s still in the shower. I’m watching some business conversation on the Super Channel. I can’t open the windows :( Hurry up, Shar!

God, Sharon’s in a mood. She came in & I jokingly said, “Can I light a match?” and she said, “NO!” & closed her eyes & shook her head like she does. Then she blames me for her stupid hairdryer blowing out. Oh darn, she can’t dry her precious hair (that looks like a horse’s tail! Ha ha!)

We just came back from breakfast  & there wuz no one there! :) I had a fig, fruit cocktail, bacon, eggs, a French toast thing, a bite outta some kind of sweet bread that tasted awful but Sharon liked it. She’ll eat anything.

Now she’s yelling at me for not bringing my own hairdryer. Maybe it would help if I had my own hairdryer to bring! God, it’s not my fault it didn’t work. It worked fine for MOI. Maybe it’s be’cuz she uses it too long on her horse mane. I’m leaving. Goodbye.

Ugh – I was probably only gone for 5 minutes. 10 at the nmost. This hotel is so boring! Not like the Anglo-American Hotel in Florence. That was classy.

“Alice in Wonderland” – a Spanish cartoon – was just on. Alice looked ugly! She had straight red hair.

Sharon makes me do all of her dirty work. I had to go check what time we leave. Which is, by the way, 9:30. Does Sharon even thank me? Noooo!

Me & Sharon were pondering after breakfast about why I always get white spots on the backs of my legs. She said she never noticed them before but they’re probably from the time my mom tried to bleach me when I wuz a youngin’. Har har, Sharon.

“Tiny Toons” is on in Spanish. It’s the one where Hampton’s on a diet & all kinds of food is saying “Eat me” to him & he goes insane.

Whoa! It’s a miracle – Sharon’s ↑! Every day after breakfast, she has to sleep. Then I’m stuck trying to amuse myself & there’s not much to do here in the hotel. Oh yeah, she has a “horsetail” on today. U G H! Megabeast.

[2023 Erin here: I have/had this theory where anytime Sharon and my one friend back then, Spring, wore their hair in ponytails, they were bound to be assholes that day. Totally set the tone. Also, I got “megabeast” from the movie Drop Dead Fred which my brother Ryan and I were obsessed with.]

It’s about 9:30 & we’re on the bus, Before, I was sitting in the lobby w/ Sharon & the one lady we walked with last nite. Then Shar left me & all these really tall people from the other tour group flocked over & I got scared. I told Sharon & she yelled at me. How rude.

Our guide’s name is Ima (short for Immaculate Conception, so she said we’re in good hands) & she’s a very good friend of Dave’s.

[2023 Erin again: Dave was the tour guide that we had for the whole trip we were on, but sometimes we would have local guides that specialized in whatever excursions we were going on, etc.]

Thank god, Sharon said we don’t have to go to the bullfight tonite. How swell. I don’t wanna see any animals killed in front of me!

They have orange trees here to make marmalade. Ooooooh…All the pigeons here are white.

We just stopped at the Spanish Pavilion & Sharon was in her glory cuz there were so many tiles. She was actually nice to me! We stayed for 10 Spanish minutes (20 American minutes!).

Ugh, it’s 1:00 & we just got back on the bus from one Hellish tour! Sharon was rude & had that Stop-What-You’re-Doing-&-Listen-To-Me-I-Know-It-All attitude whenever she talked to people. When Jill asked me my name, Sharon told her. Then they were talking about that little guy that’s in the Duncan (sic) Donuts  commercial  & they couldn’t think of his name but I knew it. [2023 Erin: DID I THO???? I certainly don’t know it now.]  Then Ima asked me where I’m from & Sharon pushed me out of the way after I said Pgh & she said TWA. What a loser. Then just now she asked if I wanna go on a ferry ride (no) & I said, “Yeah whatever” so now she’s getting on me. Whenever I talk to her she always says “Huh?” & I HATE repeating myself, just like my mom. [2023 Erin: First, TWA was the tour group we were with; second, I STILL HATE REPEATING MYSELF. *side-eyes Henry*] I can’t wait till Aug 1. It’s not the same w/o Pappap & Grandma.

God it’s 96° out! Ugh! I don’t feel good now.

Dave says that our hotel in Tangier is facing the ocean :)

Ah, this is the life! Sharon went to the bank so I came back to the hotel by myself & now I’m maxxing & relaxing. I’m sure Sharon is probably socializing right now. That really sickens me. [2023 Erin: lol ok sociopath, calm down.]

Oh my gosh! Right after I wrote that [insert arrows pointing to ‘maxxing and relaxing’], Fresh Prince came on!

Sharon left about 30 min ago to check out the menu at some restaurant. I tried to sleep but that was unsuccessful. Oh yeah, Sharon’s wising up & now she’s being nice. She even took me to the bar for a Black Russian. Ahem.

[2023 Erin: I have to hope I was being hyperbolic, lol.]

The Super Channel isn’t very super. “The Mix” is on now & me & Shar haven’t even heard of any of the songs or singers. But when she left, “Numb” by U2 & “What’s ↑” by 4 Non Blondes cane on. And “Wicked Game” by Chris Isaak (I only know it cuz it was on a movie) & a song by Lisa Stansfield.

[2023 Erin: To this day, when I hear that 4 Non Blondes jam, I think of watching the video in Spain, and also lol @ “on a movie.”]

Yea! It’s 10 to 4 & the grocery store opens at 4:30 so Sharon will probably stop.

Sharon came back at 4:00pm & she took me to get ice cream. How sweet. But actually I think she just wanted to go back cuz she thought the guy that worked there wuz cute. She got tutti-frutti (ew) & I got raspberry sorbet (yum). Now she’s sleeping.

Oh yeah, it’s 102.2 F out there! [insert sweating frowny face]

Bliss….Sharon brought Coke back :)  I think deep down she’s still mad about the hairdryer cuz she’s letting her hair air dry right now!

I’ve been watching “On the Air” since about 4:30pm & people are calling in to sing. Some of them are pretty good. They’re playing decent videos too. Aw it’s 6:10 & this is over at 6:30 :( We  leave for the flamenco at 7:10 tho.

I just wrote a letter to Clive Pearse so I can win an “On the Air” t-shirt :)

[2023 Erin: Fun fact, I didn’t win the t-shirt but I did receive an autographed picture of Clive for my efforts!]

It’s 20 to 7 & we’re ready. Well, Shar’s still “primping.” Spare me. Her hair seemed to have dried FINE w/o a dryer. She used my moisturizer cuz she didn’t feel like getting hers, ugh!

Well, it’s 10:30 & the flamenco was “perty” cool. Me & Nick were one of the only non-dressy people. I think the guy dancers were kinda queer [2023 Erin: *slaps 1993 Erin*] but Sharon kept saying they had nice butts. Some people left early to go to the bull fight. When it was over, Shar decided that weren’t going on the bus & that we’d just go straight to McDonald’s. But she went the wrong way & I kept saying, “Sharon, isn’t it back there?” So finally, she turned around. After we ate, we were gonna go back to the hotel to get money, then go for ice cream. We crossed the bridge & we were at the Rio Grande Restaurant that we saw last nite. Somewhere after that, Sharon led us the wrong way because we were so far off it wuz pathetic! We were in the Spanish projects! [2023 Erin: wow, this paragraph has it all. Maybe there’s some upcoming ableism for a pretty tight trifecta.] All Sharon would do wuz pretend she wuz a flamenco dancer. I kept saying, “Let’s get a cab.”

[2023 Erin: Friendly reminder that I was the 13-year-old and Sharon was my adult guardian responsible for my safety on this international vacation.]

Then she saw a Ford dealership & said, “We’re on the right track.” So we’re walking & some guy says something to Sharon & start FOLLOWING US. So Sharon kept saying, “Walk faster.” Then he gave ↑. Finally she asked a guy for directions & by that time we were so far off it wuz unbelievable. We saw a tennis shop tho. [2023 Erin: 1993 Erin had clear priorities.]

Then we asked 2 ladies & when we did, we saw the church that’s by our hotel. But then we couldn’t see it anymore. So she asked this guy & he was gonna DRIVE US to it. We started going that way but then Sharon decided she didn’t trust him so she asked a cop & the same man walked past & said, “Left. Believe me.” And he was right.

[2023 Erin is having a tough time following this sequence of events, though she does remember being lost at night in Spain and references it about once every 3 years and Henry acts like he’s never heard thr.e story before.]

But Sharon had her doubts. BUT I saw the Renault dealership & I just knew we were going the right way. Then SHE saw her stupid Ford place & she was really ticking me off (she was giddy) so I walked ahead of her & found the hotel myself, after being lost for ONE HOUR. I think I saw more of Seville today than I ever have cared to.

Now she’s insinuating (again) that it’s MY fault the wacked hairdryer doesn’t work.

It’s around 11PM & we’re calling home :P

I just talked to Corey & he said “Erin go ↑ in airplane. I go on helicopter.” Grandma doesn’t want to talk.

***

And then that day’s entry just ends. It’s weird reading this now because it makes it seem like we were sitting in the hotel doing nothing all day, but from what I remember, we had a few hours in the late afternoon to chill before that night’s activities. Also, I have no idea who the aforementioned Nick was other than just someone in the tour group, but what schmucks we were for not dressing up for the flamenco!!

Who keeps dreaming up these chaotic, long-haul road trips?! Oh, lol. But listen, Linda – it was my dream to ride ArieForce One in its opening year. I mean, sure, it’s all the way out by Atlanta, we live in Pittsburgh, etc etc. But I had it all planned out! We would leave as soon as I logged off from work on Friday, so around 6pm because we never leave exactly when scheduled, drive as far as Henry could manage that night, get a hotel, wake up early, continue driving, arrive in ATL, eat lunch at Slutty Vegan, go to Fun Spot, imprint on a new rollercoaster, sleep somewhere, wake up and drive home.

There. Planned! The Oh Honestly Erin Travel Agency gets another job done.

Man, these evening road trips always make me so goddamn slap happy and CHATTY. For instance, I think most anyone who has ever even casually glanced at this waste of space word-dump can testify that I have been planning my imaginary never-wedding for approx. 20 years.  But now that I am a bona fide ENGAGED BROAD, I have barely given a thought to this alleged wedding that presumably will happen at some point (dot dot dot question mark, print out the page, punch it into a ball, set it aflame, blow its ashes off a cliff in Siberia?).  It’s like all of my ideas have been zapped from my brain and implanted into the womb of an Alaskan virgin so look out, the next coming of Oh Honestly Erin in person-form might be spotted walking some disgusting polar tundra one day, being wildly ignored and a general waste just like this blog.

What was I saying?

OK, so since we were en route to Georgia, I started thinking about our last trip there, Thanksgiving weekend of 2021. (Actually, I think we drove through on our way to Florida last year? Maybe?)

(I think I have heat stroke.)

It doesn’t matter, just that I was remembering on one of our previous drives to Georgia, a song came on some local Tennessee radio station called THE HORSE and I became, you guessed it Steve, obsessed. I had to immediately put it on Spotify and engage in convulsive interpretive dancing to it.

Henry was like, “OK” and Chooch was like, “But did I ask.”

While it was playing for the second time (maybe it was even a remix at that point, who can be sure),  I couldn’t stop picturing Henry and I, freshly wed, totally stinking of matrimony, walking back down the aisle to this song while riding those stick-horse things.

You know, those stick-horse things.

HOBBY HORSES.

I excitedly shared this idea with Henry.

“But people wouldn’t get it unless they knew the name of the song,” Henry joy-killed.

“Yeah, but we’ll have programs,” I said in that incredulous key of almost-hysteric woman that Henry fucking adores so much, he put a ring on it.

“I knew it,” Henry sighed. “I knew that was coming.

And the programs will have pictures of us doing very anti-Erin/Henry shit together, activities that we’d never do, like here I am in an apron cooking his breakfast, here we are riding vintage bicycles down a dirt lane.

Flying kites.

Country line-dancing?

“And then I can wear a veil [because up until this point I had never considered wearing a veil] for sure so then when you (or whoever the groom is) lift it, I’m actually Howie.

Henry gave BIG FROWN ENERGY in response.

Another day, another Days of Our Lives reference unappreciated (until I tweeted it and Monica gave it love!).

Don’t worry, I’m still stirring this thought-stew in my brain. I’ll come up with something.

Who would have thought that THE HORSE would have been the answer to unblocking my constipated wedding planning bowels. Anyway, I guess this means I will probably have at least something small as opposed to the “nothing” I had previously been settling on.

Janna, if you’re reading this: congratulations, you have an official role in our wedding – handing me my Hobby Horse on which I will gallop away, either with Henry or away from him depending on how I’m feeling that day.

I guess Chooch can hand Henry his? In my mind, I see Chooch chucking it out of Henry’s reach and saying, “Go fetch, Father.”

Here we are driving Henry crazy at the second Sheetz of leg one. This one was a small Sheetz somewhere in West Virginia. West Virginia takes forever to drive through!! I feel like I had an incident in the bathroom where there were no paper towels and I was forced to have a conversation with my sink partner about it. Talking to people in pubic restrooms makes me uncomfy.

We didn’t get to the Ramada in WYTHESVILLE, VA until around 11pm along with everyone else, it seemed. We had to stand in line for like 15 minutes which seems petty to complain about after the fact but when you have been driving for hours and just want to crash into a bed, it feels like time is running backward.

When it was our turn to check-in, Henry’s DAD JOKE mode was activated totally out of the blue and it was SO EMBARRASSING. When the young broad asked, “Is the second floor OK?” Henry asked for the THIRD FLOOR BECAUSE THERE WASN’T A THIRD FLOOR. I wanted to fucking melt into a puddle of I’m Not With Him. Seriously so lame, god help me.

Anyway, we got our key and Chooch and I immediately ditched Henry, leaving him to carry all of our bags to the room alone, haha.

BONUS CONTENT:

Me, the next morning, before checking out and Henry setting the ball of suck into motion by choosing to go to some local cafe called THE GRIND which had like no breakfast options that were satisfactory to me, so I threw a mini-tantrum and then ended up only getting hot coffee which I then RUINED by asking for a shot of brown sugar cinnamon syrup which made it entirely too sweet and I legit was so surly about this for the next, oh, 4 hours.

Thank you. This has been “Friday In the Car.”

I didn’t liveblog any part of our weekend Canada road trip because the drive itself was extremely boring. But! After we left Canada’s Wonderland yesterday, we stopped at Odd Burger for lunch because there was one a few minutes away! I was so excited to eat here again, only three mths after the first time, because they have an extensive all-vegan menu. I really wanted to try one of the breakfast sandwiches, so I got this maple thingie with bacUN and ‘ham.’ The egg is tofu, and it’s topped with a hashbrown. Oh, and ‘cheese’! My eyes are always so much bigger than my stomach when we come to places like that and I was really convinced that it wouldn’t be enough, but yo – it was. I was comfortably stuffed.

I also had a small orange milkshake which I couldn’t finish so Henry and Chooch got to enjoy the dregs.

Chooch got a taco salad, and Henry got the chickun cordon bleu (which I got last time) and poutine. Totally satisfying.

The only other thing I wanted to do while we were still in Canada was eat a nanaimo bar again, since that was seriously the highlight of our last trip to Toronto (aside from the Kang Daniel concert, of course!) (even though we weren’t in Toronto at all this time). Henry thought he was so great because he found a bakery several minutes away from Odd Burger. They only had one nanaimo bar left. It was just OK – the one I had at Bunner’s really spoiled me, I guess.

Then, I immediately fell asleep for about 30 minutes, which is very unlike me. I hardly ever sleep in the car, mostly because Henry’s driving has gotten so bad lately that I’m terrified to close my eyes while he’s at the wheel. But Jesus Christ, I felt like I was drugged. It was barely even 80 degrees that day, but I think it was just the fact that it was our first theme park of the year and honestly it hasn’t been very hot in Pittsburgh so this was like, baby’s first day in the sun. I didn’t get burnt or anything but I think I must have been partially dehydrated and possibly a little heat-strokey? Who can be sure, but man I felt like my life-force had been sucked out like marrow from a bone.

And then we sat in traffic for about two hours because jackass truck drivers were clogging up the road leading up to the border. Henry was trying to explain it – I guess all the big trucks / 18-wheelers have to get into the right lane but a lot of trucks were trying to stay in the left lane for as long as possible to bypass the truck-traffic and then once they had no choice but to get over, the trucks in the right lane were like FUCK OFF CUNTS so the trucks in the left lane came to a complete stop while trying to merge, blocking the highway for us non-truck people.

Then!!! Some asshole in a tow truck-thing in the right lane MOVED INTO THE CENTER OF BOTH LANES literally right as we were passing, nearly side-swiping us, just so he could block the trucks in the left-lane from passing. It took me basically the entire time we were stuck in the traffic jam to understand what was happening, no matter how many times Henry explained it. I think my brain was definitely going through it yesterday. (And Sunday – Sunday was a rough day in general for my precious brain.)

But yeah, what a douchebag that tow truck guy was! I kept screaming, “IS THAT LEGAL? CAN WE CALL THE COPS?” The audacity!! I am so fucking glad that we just barely made it past him before he pulled that stunt because I would have been p-p-p-p-p-issed if we were stuck behind him while he was taking up two lanes.

Other than that, I spent the ride home finishing one of the best books I’ve ever read: The Hundred-Year House by Rebecca Makkai. This was the third book of hers that I’ve read, and all three have been 5-stars. Love her. I think she is a crazy genius, honestly.

Got a shitty dinner at Get-Go in Erie, which is where we always stop when we’re out that direction and I actually kind of hate it BUT at least they have a vegetarian AND plant-based menu which is way more than I can say for Sheetz. Get it together, Sheetz. It’s 2023!!

Obviously, I will recap our time at Canada’s Wonderland separately, and I can tell you that the three of us barely fought (except for yesterday when we were making fun of Henry for, I don’t know, coughing weird probably, and snapped, “YOU TWO ARE THE REASON PEOPLE BECOME SERIAL KILLERS” or something and I wanted to say that actually no, there are other reasons people become SERIAL killers, but sure, we are probably the reason why a person could become a CRIME OF PASSION or DOMESTIC killer. Henry thinks he’s so fucking cool.

Oh yeah, like on the way to Canada, when we had just gotten back into the car after stopping at THE STUPID ERIE GET-GO, and Henry announced that he had to go back in because he forgot to buy THROAT LOZENGES and Chooch and I, in tandem, said in a bored tone, “Wow you’re so cool” and “mm, cool” only for me to then snap out of it and cry, “WHY CAN’T YOU JUST SAY COUGH DROPS? Ugh, you’re so embarrassing.”

What was I saying? Oh yeah, we all managed to get along for the most part considering this was our first overnight trip as a trio since Dollywood (Chooch didn’t go to Toronto or Chicago with us, YOU MIGHT RECALL) but for some reason, I just felt off. It wasn’t that I didn’t have fun or enjoy myself, but I guess I felt kind of disoriented? It could have been also that it was my first time this year wearing shorts in public and I am so vain/mildly body dysmorphic I think, that this is something that can easily knock me off my axis. I really wish I wasn’t this way.

Chooch and I did get in a small argument though because I truly enjoy Tim Hortons but he is a Dunkin lifer.

Anyway, my general malaise has carried over a bit into today and all I want to do is say ciao for now and go to bed. So, ciao for now.

Hello from Canada! Vaughan, Canada specifically. I didn’t live blog our drive here today because I wasn’t really feeling great and then we got here and it was really one of the first days this year that I spent a considerable amount of time in the heat paired with some pretty rough coasters and lots of very rude people so you can imagine how much I am LOVING this comfortable hotel bed I’m chilling in right now while CNN’s The Eighties is on and Chooch is spitting some very contemptuous opinions about very well-loved 80s bands while waiting for Henry to come back from Tim Hortons.

Oh yay he’s back.

Anyway, thank god Canada’s Wonderland closed at 8pm today because my nauseated ass could not last one more minute. It was a rough one and I almost thought I was going to puke and I honestly don’t think I have EVER puked at an amusement park?! We came close today. We came close.

Also here is our first carouselfie of 2023. :)

Before I even attempt to get into the meaty NCT portion of our whirlwind Chicago trip, I want to give a shout out to Henry for HEARING ME this time, diligently mapping out the places I wanted to hit up, and being my emotional support punching bag for all the times pre- and post-concert when my feelings would come squirting out in all sorts of ADORABLE ways. I was so afraid we were going to have a replay of Toronto but believe me when I say it, Becky, we had zero fights. NONE! NONE FIGHTS!

I mean, sure, his breathing and chewing got on my nerves occasionally but that happens everywhere, it’s not location-specific.

Since Chooch wasn’t with us, we didn’t want to hang around Chicago TOO long the day after the show, but I definitely wanted to go to this cafe I’ve been following for a while now, ever since an artist (the creator of my favorite Pee Wee wood art that now lives in my kitchen!) posted about them on Instagram because they too have one of his awesome works on the wall! But yeah, this place is called The Brewed and it’s a horror-themed cafe which is obviously going to be my jimmy-jam.

I believe it’s in the Avondale section of Chicago, do with that information what you will.

First, we had to walk under this toothy awning, and of course I was obsessed. I made sure to walk on the other side of the street on the way back so I could get the full experience. I love my dentist so much (like, LOOOOVE him) but he really needs to step up his signage game, man.

I actually wouldn’t mind having this attached to my house, if we’re being honest. I wonder if HNC & Co. would appreciate that.

Trust me, it would be an improvement on the neon beer signs in the window and ugly-ass whirligig things that ROB has erected all across his yard.

The Brewed! I made Henry go in first because I always make other people enter places before me. YOU NEVER KNOW.

Right off the bat, I want to say that the vibe was chill and friendly. Like, the lowkey, quiet friendly that you’d get if you were just having a convo with your work friends – that’s what it felt like. The baristas were already engaged in a conversation when we walked in and somehow made it feel like we weren’t interrupting them while immediately turning their attention to us. I didn’t feel rushed or like an outcast, which is something that is probably just in my head but I swear to god it’s how I feel 75% of the places I walk into.

I got a vegan glazed from Beacon Donuts and I am still thinking about this fucker. I always say that I’m not a big donut aficionado and prefer a simple sugar or glazed if I’m going to have one at all, but they usually don’t satiate me. This glazed? THIS GLAZED?? It was SUBSTANTIAL. Oh, I am so depressed just thinking about it and knowing that Beacon is so far away from me, because I actually think this might have been the best glazed, vegan or otherwise, that I have ever had in my life.

That, paired with the FLAMING ORANGE mocha in celebration of Trump’s arraignment, and I was feeling pretty fucking good.

You can see the Billy Lilly monster art piece above that blue cabinet!

Fuck. I loved the whole aesthetic of this place. It’s one thing to go full goth if your theme is “horror,” but I do prefer the kitchy, rockabilly classic monster direction that The Brewed went with. Plus, my eyeballs have a crush on the lime green / purple color palette.

And the Hausu nod on the bathroom door back there!

Oh come on, put this on a shirt for me, please. Paint this on the hood of my car.

We also bought a set of horror-themed macarons from Bad Channels, which are sold at The Brewed. These flavors were Trolls II (pistachio), The Blob (PB&J) and MOTHERFUCKING CHILDREN OF THE CORN which is the one I have been coveting from Bad Channels IG feed and I am so stoked it was available. All of them were little fireworks of flavor, but that corn one, holy shit. I LOVE corn-y desserts and sweets so this was already halfway up my alley before I even tasted it.

I was happy with these but Henry thought they were too expensive. I don’t know the going rate for macarons, but 6 of these were like $18. Is that a lot, y or n. I thought that macarons were just $$$ by default because they’re so pretentious and Frenchy, but I don’t know anything about ingredient costs and inflation, etc etc etc.

Henry was buying delicious tamales from a food vendor at a farmer’s market while I took this picture. We saved the tamales for later and ate them at a rest stop on the drive home. We got a poblano & cheese, and SWEET CORN. I thought that were really good but Henry was like being so over the top about it, like, OK we get it, they’re the best tamales you’ve had since the Service or whatever.

Ugh, the only other thing I REALLY wanted to do was go to Pie Pie My Darling which is a vegan bakery and apparently voted best cake in Chicago. However, you can’t just go there, you have to pre-order and then pick it up after the bakery opens at 11am on Saturdays, but we had wanted to be on the road before that. There are several places around the city that sells their stuff, and that weekend the big special was carrot cake, and Chooch LOVES carrot cake. So I thought that would be nice to bring home for him. We went to Liberation Kitchen, which was on the list, but you had to buy the whole cake, slices weren’t available. :( We didn’t want to leave with nothing so we each got a donut. I got the lemon poppyseed donut because 50% of the proceeds from that flavor sold this month go to the Syrian American Medical Society. The donut was good. I wasn’t head over heels for it, but I was happy to contribute to a good cause, so it all evened out in the end.

I forget what Henry got. Flapjack or something. It was good! But these were not even close to Beacon Doughnuts-levels of Morning Dessert Greatness. Next time I go to Chicago, I’m not walking I’m running, to Beacon Doughnuts. Plus, it’s an alley walk-up, which is strangely appealing to me.

Anyway, that was all for us. I gently suggested that we go to Bean just to see if NCT Dream was there, but Henry was like THEY ARE PROBABLY ALREADY ON THEIR WAY TO ATLANTA DO NOT ASK ME AGAIN.

And then we drove home, which was pretty uneventful. We literally just listened to NCT Dream, talked about NCT Dream, cried about NCT Dream, relived NCT Dream the whole way home. SIGH.

I was so nervous about getting into line for the Kang Daniel show because we were general admission / floor and the line was already long. I’m glad we ended up eating a small meal beforehand because the energy was needed!

(Also, the font somehow keeps changing on me so please enjoy. Maybe I should also change the color as I go along too, throwback to LiveJournal circa 2001. Add a MIDI file to the background.)

The line snaked all the way down the block and was just started to round a corner by the time we reached the end. And then it proceeded to grow longer and longer as we waited for 7pm to roll on up. Everyone in line was very chill and it wouldn’t have been so bad if it hadn’t been SO FUCKING COLD. I was so unprepared, even after checking the weather before leaving Pgh, where we had been enjoying False Spring. Mary, I was wearing a denim jacket and Vans with whatever the next step up from PEDS is. I was icing over, practically. Shivering so hard that my body vibrato was visible to all who looked at me.

A gallant man, had he been my boyfriend, would have maybe wrapped one MAYBE TWO arms around me to help warm me up a bit. Not my gentleman friend! Nope nope nope, gotta stay chaste and platonic-appearing. Armspan apart. Really how did we not break up on this overnighter?!

Shortly after getting into line, a girl walked up to us and asked, “ARE YOU HERE FOR KANG DANIEL?” I said yes and she handed me a little packet of photocards. Then she asked Henry and tucked one into his hand too, I was dying lol. He never gets kpop swag!

Anyway, this was really cool because in addition to the Kang Daniel photocard that had the tour info on the back as a keepsake (this was awesome to have especially since you can’t really get physical concert tickets for most shows anymore and SOME OF US ARE PACKRATS who keep boxes of paper mementos but OK), each packet also contained a photocard of one of Kang Daniel’s dancers!

Mine was Taehee, and Henry got Kyujin who apparently was replaced on the tour with LilDae after Kyujin switched to the role of “performance director” instead. Here’s what the back of the cards said:

Isn’t that the cutest idea?? I definitely tagged Taehee in one of the reels I posted that night, lol. I love shit like this.

Meanwhile, there was a single white guy in front of us. I’ll guestimate that he was in his early 30s perhaps. Almost immediately after getting into line right before us, an Asian girl (based on context clues from their convo, I think she was Chinese) turned to him and ask, “Excuse me, can I ask you a question? So, what brought you here tonight?”

The man said that Kang Daniel was actually recommended to him on Spotify recently and he really liked what he heard. I wasn’t TRYING to spy on their convo, but they were legit right in front of me and it’s not like Henry was entertaining me at all. From what I pieced together, his wife is Korean (?? I think ??) and he is no stranger to kpop. He seemed to lean more toward the girl groups though, while his standing-in-line partner was really into older kpop and mostly boy groups. I was happy to hear her say that she didn’t care much for BTS aside from two songs (“Save Me” – same girl, and “Fake Love”) and that she only started to listen to Kang Daniel the day before, having just a bought a ticket based on the fact that she didn’t want to miss out on any concerts anymore after Covid. Valid!

I kept looking at the poeple sitting inside the Tim Horton’s next to me as a means to stop eavesdropping, but then I was just getting mad because they all looked so warm and cozy with their hot bevvies and donuts.

It was so cold, yo. Plus, Toronto had recently had a snow storm (I originally typed “stormstorm,” please book my brain a room in a detox resort ASAP) that weekend so there were random snowbanks along the sidewalk which just made it seem even colder.

I was not a fan of this.

The line still hadn’t moved after a good 30 minutes, even though it was nearly 7pm by then. The girl in front of us had dropped her Kang Daniel packet so I picked it up and handed it to her. Now she was aware of my existence.

“Excuse me, can I ask you a question?” she started and I was so excited that someone was finally talking to me! I said SURE with probably definitely way too much zeal, to which of course she asked me what brought me there.

I told her in great detail that I had been a fan of Wanna One. “Who was your top pick?” she asked, and I said, “Well, I didn’t watch Produce 101 (the elimination show that Wanna One was born from) but out of Wanna One, Kang Daniel.”

Then she started asking me all of the “Do you know….” questions and luckily I am DEEP IN THE GAME so I was able to yes to everything. She asked if I was going to be going to any other upcoming concerts and I gushed, “OMG NCT DREAM I HOPE!! IF I CAN GET A TICKET!!”

She smiled calmly and said, “Oh, you will you get your ticket, don’t worry!” AND MAYBE SHE IS THE REASON I DID – IS SHE MY KPOP GODMOTHER?? So then we talked about NCT and she asked who my top pick is for that and that’s when I realized she was saying “pick” instead of bias – I never heard that before but I liked it! It made me feel like we were talking about sports, lol.

I told her Ten is my top pick across the whole NCT universe and she exclaimed, “REALLY?” like it was shocking for some reason, but it also made me feel like she was acknowledging the fact that I actually do know my NCTshit, and also I think it’s assumed maybe that most non-Asians tend to pick Korean members as their biases, but two of my top NCT picks are Chinese and Thai.

“Do you like SHINee?” I asked her and she said yes so we started talking about them, Taemin, and SuperM, which she didn’t get to see.

“But it’s OK because Baekhyun is my top pick and I got to see him with EXO,” she said, and that made me happy for her.

Meanwhile, the white guy kept occasionally joining in too because he was interested in the fact that Henry and I came from Pittsburgh for this show. “And you like him too?” one of them asked Henry and GUESS WHAT HE SAID YES.

Then the occasional person would stop and ask our general vicinity of the line what everyone was waiting for and then would say WOW I HAVE NEVER SEEN A LINE THIS LONG FOR THIS VENUE or something else to that effect. The power of kpop, you guys. Kang Daniel probably could have managed to play a bigger venue, honestly!

Now the line was moving but I wasn’t ready to stop talking so I blurted out, “ACTUALLY, MY ALL TIME TOP PICK IS G-DRAGON!”

I fucking swear to god, this girl turned around, looked me up and down with a smirk and said, “Of course he is.”

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?!!? LOLOLOLOL!

And then she said, “But….actually, I feel sorry for you—” and yo, she didn’t even need to finish that statement because I feel sorry for me too and all BIGBANG fans out there. It is literally the most depressing fandom to be a part of.

By now, the line was moving swiftly, and we got through security quickly and without incident. When we were waiting for our turn though, a VERY ATTRACTIVE Korean guy in a super cool white satin baseball-type of jacket with cool embroidering on the back came out of the venue and was talking to a girl in Korean. I was like, “WHO IS THIS GUY, HE LOOKS LIKE HE COULD BE AN IDOL” and we found out once the show started that he was one of the dancers – I WISH I HAD GOTTEN HIS CARD, OMG HE WAS SO CUTE.

Anyway. *clears throat*

It was really nice talking to these people in line – I love kpop fans. All those other concerts I used to stand in line for and most people were either too cool for school or just total assholes that I didn’t want to talk to anyway. But people at kpop concerts are so nice. I will say that way less people in my life give me shit for liking kpop these days as they did in the beginning, but it is still so very comforting to be surrounded by all these people who share your love for Korea and its music. Just this moment alone was enough to turn the whole day around, and I knew that once we got inside, it was destined to get even better.