Hello from a Tuesday evening on the bus! A lot has happened but in an effort to keep up with my micro-blogging of this trip, today’s small word bundle will be about Idiot Chooch’s 130 feet free fall on Sunday evening. Tivoli Friheden has a SCAD tower which I did know about going into this but didn’t really think much about it until that day when Tim said that it was included in the park admission for our group if anyone wanted to do it. Chooch was like, “what is it, I’ll do it” and I was like “oh great. I am so excited for my son to fall off a 50m tower into a fucking net, every mom’s dream.”

Love that the only thing he really has to say about it is that he hurt his knee again.

In “Now” news, we are in the midst of an itinerary shakeup. Starting yesterday, the weather has been real rainy and windy. Yesterday was mostly just a rain issue and luckily all the rides were open, but unforch, the forecast for the next several days were bad enough Re: wind that the ferries canceled their service so our ferry for Norway scheduled for tonight was canceled. When we got on the bus after Djurs last night, Tim broke the news to us and told us that we have two options: scrap Tusenfyrd, or drive 13 hours overnight by bus.

It was so dramatic and started to get semi-verbally hostile between some guys up on the top floor of the bus (where we are) and then some guys started shouting the pros of keeping Tusenfyrd and honestly I was in favor of the overnighter too because I want to go to Norway. Anyway, Tim had to walk around while everyone covertly showed him their vote on their phone and it felt like Survivor, like someone was getting voted off the bus. There was an overwhelming majority for OVERNIGHT so that is what’s happening and there are APPARENTLY at least two people who are very unhappy about this and are planning on leaving us in Copenhagen. [Yes, we were all the way super north in Denmark but have to drive all the way back to Copenhagen, get a new driver, cross the bridge to Sweden (which could be an issue depending on how windy it still is when we get there) drive up through Sweden to Tusenfyrd in Norway. Not the greatest but at least we’ll still get there.)]

Anyway, after we left todays park, Henry made some dumb joke to the bus driver about “can’t you maybe just fly us there? Maybe if we got some wings?” And it was SO UNCOMFY. I asked him to never do that again, his weird “flirting with another professional driver” voice, ugh. Then we stopped at IKEA so Tim could buy us pillows and everyone ate in the cafeteria.

Oh just 70 people unexpectedly storming IKEA 30 minutes before they closed. That was interesting. But it was so nice of Tim to get us pillows!!

I am totally going out of order and have so much to recap here for my fairy tale lala imaginary friends, but I want to talk about all the shit that happened today to Henry that was not funny but also so incredibly funny that every time I thought about it today on the bus while mostly everyone was napping, I was trying so hard to contain giddy brays that my entire body was shuddering.

First thing this morning, Henry woke up on a mission to find a bank ATM before we left Copenhagen later that morning. Now, we were under strict instructions by Tim to be at the bus by 8:15 because we had to get an early start on the day due to traveling between parks. So he gets back and says, “Well, I can’t get to it because the street it’s on is under construction, I’ll just get to one later” and I panicked because we aren’t going to be in big cities after Copenhagen and we needed cash to give to Tim for the driver’s tip. Really not that big of a deal, but I hate how Henry is always putting shit off and not ever taking my advice, etc. So I got RULL irritated about this and Henry snapped, “FINE I’LL GO TO THE ONE IN CENTRAL STATION” which is like, maybe a 10 minute (15?) walk from our hotel. Now, by this point, it was nearly 7am and that’s when it was suggested that we head to breakfast.

“Should we wait for him?” I asked Chooch, who looked at me and then we started cracking up because why would we ever.

So we totally went to breakfast without him and then our new friend Pam came in and asked if she could sit with us, like she even needs to ask! I was totally saving the seat next to me for her, anyway. But here’s the THING, the day before, Pam and this guy Kevin from our group pretty much buddied up and spent the whole day together at both parks. “I guess they’re an item now,” Chooch murmured when they strode past us at Tivoli Gardens last night.

So after we sat down at a 4-top, Kevin came over with a glass of OJ and asked, “Mind if I join you?” I happily chirped, “Not at all!” and Chooch gave me this look like, “WHAT ABOUT HENRY” and I just shrugged like, “Oh well, you snooze you lose.”

So then Henry came in, got food before even coming over to our table, HOW PRESUMPTUOUS THINKING THAT HE HAD A SEAT, and then when he finally came over with his plate of morning slop, he saw that he didn’t have a seat at our table, mouthed THANKS and went and found a table behind us ALONE.

Kevin noticed this and said, “Oh no!” and I waved him off. “Oh, he’s fine! We told him we weren’t waiting for him.” Then Pam came back from getting a plate, did a double take when she saw Henry sitting alone and said, “You wanna sit here?”

“NO I’M GOOD,” he said, and then continued to sulk. I was almost in tears (the kinds generated from holding back laughter, don’t worry), but then Chooch was like, “Now it’s going to look like there’s family drama. This is how rumors get started.”

And I started cracking up even harder.

Don’t worry x2, after we had eaten and were just sitting around talking with Tim, Henry slithered up to our table and said MOVE OVER and scooted onto my side of the banquet seating. What a little bitch.

Then we went up to the room to get our luggage and I realized we only had TEN MINUTES until departure and Tim was very very very adamant about being punctual and said that you will get left behind if you’re not on time, and you’ll have to find your own way to the next park, understandably so.

I kept bitching about this because Chooch and I were all ready to go so Henry yelled JUST GO THEN so we left him, got our own luggage on the bus, and then claimed our seats for the day (same as yesterday because we’re suckers). Sadly, I saw Henry coming out of the hotel and said, “Damn, he made it” and then we started cracking up all over again.

We got to Bon-Bon Land. Had a great day. Then around 1:00PM we were chilling at the exit with Johnny (just another friend we made NO BIG DEAL), about to head back to the bus for our 1:15 departure when Henry realized he didn’t have his phone.

“Oh, did you not get it from the gift shop?” Chooch asked in a bored tone.

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN?” Henry grunted.

“The gift shop at the end of the rapids ride,” Chooch said.

“WHAT RAPIDS RIDE,” Henry snapped.

“THE ONLY RAPIDS RIDE IN THE PARK??” Chooch clapped back. “You had your phone in my bag and I said, ‘why is your phone in my bag? I’m not carrying your phone’ so I was waving it in front of you saying, ‘Here take your phone, take your phone, take it.’ And you ignored me so I put it down next to the candy you were looking at.”

Henry: *NOSTRILS FLARE / VEIN PROTRUDES*

“It’s not my fault you didn’t pick it up,” Chooch said defensively.

“Oh boy,” Johnny said, caught in the middle of a typical Oh Honestly Family argument.

So Henry had to run (LOL ok that’s being generous – he speed-walked, kind of) back to the gift shop. Luckily, the park is very small, and Tim had said that the 1:15 departure time wasn’t strict for this one – we were actually leaving 2 hours earlier than scheduled because the park was so underpopulated that everyone was able to get their credits and still have time to do everything else.

“Should we wait for him?” I asked for the third time that day, and Chooch just started cracking up so we went back to the bus without him.

“He’s so embarrassing!” we both kept taking turns saying.

“What if he would have hit me in front of Johnny?” Chooch said, practically squealing with laughter.

“What if we have a reputation now of being That Family That Fought The Whole Time on the Coaster Crew Norden Adventure?” I laughed, but also I felt nervous about that too.

Back at the bus, most people were just standing around outside, talking. We saw Larry and told him what happened, but were trying not to bray like hyenas. Larry, however, was like, “OH NO! Did you let Tim know?”

We did not let Tim know but said that we would and then ran onto the bus in giggle-tears.

Thankfully (for us, because of embarrassment factors), we saw Henry walking down the sidewalk to the bus, and there were still A LOT of people who weren’t back yet so he wasn’t even close to doing the walk of punctuality shame. We saw him stop to talk to someone so Chooch ran out of the bus to see if he was able to get his phone. I’m watching from the upstairs window, and all I see is Henry pointing at Chooch while talking to someone then Chooch waves his hands and goes, “No no no” and starts telling his side of the story but I can see that he’s trying to not lose it and collapse into laughter. Then Chooch looked up at me and gave me the thumbs up that Henry was able to get his phone.

There were two people sitting a few rows in front of me (Robert and Dawn) and I was like, ‘They are probably wondering why I’m half-standing here, looking out the window and laughing alone at Henry and Chooch gesticulating wildly” so I had to fill them in and god only knows how many people know about this now.

I’m still laughing about this as I type this at 11:30 at night while Henry is snoring so loudly next to me which has sent Chooch to his breaking point (yo, I have to suffer through this every night at home!!)  so I suggested that we pretend Henry is a dead viking, put him in a boat, set it on fire, and push him out into the sea.

BECAUSE OUR HOTEL TONIGHT IS RIGHT ON THE WATER AND IT IS AMAZING. The sound of the waves is almost blocking out Henry’s animalistic snores.

This concludes a recount of Henry’s series of farty events.

P.S. the picture up there is a dog named Henry from Bon-Bon Land who is also the flatulent star of the DOG FART COASTER.

Hey guys! It’s Sunday and we’re on the bus leaving Copenhagen for the next destination. Yesterday was so much fun but exhausting. Here are some pictures of breakfast at the Tivoli Hotel and other assorted photos from the hotel. We sat with our new pal Pam! We met her on the first night at the hotel dinner and I felt so relieved because I was worried that I wouldn’t make any friends here! But it has been really great so far.

Anyway, on the bus yesterday, we mostly just listened to everyone around us talking until I heard someone behind us mention South Korea and T-Express. Chooch said he thought to himself, “Oh god, no.” I looked at Henry and said, “I’m going in!” Then I turned around in my seat and exclaimed, “I LOVE T-EXPRESS!” The one guy was like “….” but the cooler guy was open to my insertion and we started talking for a bit so that was fun! Then this morning I saw the other guy who was like “….” and I said good morning! And he just looked at me and kept walking. Chooch started cracking up and I was like, “wow that hurt” lol. Most everyone else has been very welcoming though!

Anyway, I will post more thoroughly when I have time. This trip has been very go-go-go so far and I haven’t even read any of my book!!

Oh wait, here are also some pictures of our after-dinner walk on Friday!

Christiansborg Palace:

Tivoli at night! We would spend the entire next evening there but this was a nice little sneak peek!

Ok, now I’m going to go back to being nebby on this bus ride. Justin is pummeling Josh with technical questions about ride attractions and it’s really interesting.

Hello just checking in to say we made it to Copenhagen in case anyone is tracing us for nefarious reasons, now you know.

It was such a long and shitty travel day. I don’t know how I feel about this city yet but I do know that I miss my cats, Air France is not great, and I am very cranky. I think I need to eat lots of vegetables.

Thank god tomorrow is the true start of this trip – two parks on tap! And we met the president of Coaster Crew in the lobby and he is very nice so I feel a little more calm about this. Our group dinner is in 30 minutes though so we’ll see if there are any bestie candidates!

Ugh, I had some July Wrap-Up Thangs that I wanted to cover before we leave tomorrow but I am feeling so chaotic in my brain today and it’s a wonder I even managed to get through the work day. I will be excited once we get there, but right now all I can hear is the blood rushing in my ears because I am so stressed. I guess that’s how we know there is a tiny bit of “adult” in me after all?

One of the things I wanted to talk about was meeting our new Australian manager (Sarah) who was in Pgh last week and this week. Wendy asked me to come into the office last Thursday to “meet her” but it was actually just a ploy to get me in there to actually do a casual presentation of the part of the process I’m involved in (big snore to everyone reading this, I know – no one wants to read about actual work stuff!) but honestly, it ended up being amazing. I met her immediately when I arrived (early, because I had to be in the conference room at 9am!) and we started bantering with each other like we’ve been old work pals for years.

Then we went to happy hour at McCormick/Schmicks after work and I know I say this every time since the pandemic, but holy shit, I appreciate my work people. So many of them are legit friends and it’s always a pleasure to see them in person! It’s been especially great getting to know Wendi-with-an-i, who was hired during the pandemic and has been an amazing addition to our motley crew!

However, I had three glasses of wine on a mostly-empty stomach and whoa nelly, I felt that shit later that night. I started to pass out while laying prone on the living room floor and Henry had to yell for me to get up lol. Then the next morning, I had a 7:30am appointment to do the wellness screening thing so needless to say, I was burping up regertz the whole way there.

Anyway! Sarah is actually leaving to go back to Australia tomorrow so I was like MAYBE WE WILL SEE EACH OTHER AT THE AIRPORT????

Right now, my mom and Henry’s mom are here to go to the church carnival with Chooch and his friend Zakk (of the Driving to School Everyday days) (that made no sense; my brain is..ow). Chooch had to HUG BOTH OF THEM and looked like he wanted to evaporate. Then Judy asked, “Hey, how’s Jen?”

“Janna,” Henry corrected while I stood there smiling, not offering any help because I love these exchanges.

“Yeah, Janet,” Judy said with a nod.

“JANNA,” Henry huffed.

Judy shrugged and said, “Jen, Jen” like it was some sort of tomato/tomahto situation??

Well, I guess that is all I have for now. I have to walk/run to CVS now to get some last minute things and then, I don’t know, hit myself with a frying pan. Piss out.

P.S. THE CHURCH CARNIVAL DJ IS PLAYING FIREFALL’S YOU ARE THE WOMAN AND I AM SO HAPPY RIGHT NOW. More songs should have flute.

I wish I hadn’t read some of these.

1. The Only One Left – Riley Sager

July started off so strong with this read!

My relationship with Riley Sager is COMPLICATED. The last two books were big misses for me (one was a miss right off the bat, the other one I LOVED until the WTF ending that made me hurl the book across our hotel room in New Hampshire) but this one 100% redeemed him for me. I actually found myself dying for free moments to pick this back up. Plus? That cover. Perfect summer horror-esque read. Lots of twists. Atmospheric. SET IN THE 80s. Dual timelines, too, if you’re into that.

Sorry, I was just staring lustfully at that cover again. Dayum.

Five stars, starting July strong.

2. Roomies – Christina Lauren

This was middle of the road for me. OK, pretty predictable, some strange storyline about a maybe-toxic best friend that I can’t remember if it even went anywhere? Not the meatiest, but it was a quick listen for my daily WALKABOUTS.

3. The Last House on the Street – Diane Chamberlain

OK, whoa. First off, I’m not a big fan of historical fiction and actually had no idea that this is what that was until I started reading it but it fucking TAUGHT ME SOME SHIT about the Scope Project in 1965 and got my blood boiling (I mean, if you read this and your blood stays at a cool temp, you might be a racist). I kept thinking that this was going to be some kind of thriller or have a supernatural bent, but when you base a story off of the sickening way black people were (ARE) treated in this country, you don’t need to deviate from reality, honey. Excellent writing. Five stars from me, Paul. I cried really hard.

4. Election – Tom Perrotta

I haven’t seen the movie adaption since the year it came out but I imagine the book was pretty similar even though I legit can’t remember anything about the movie aside from Reese Witherspoon’s character? It was OK. I was in between audiobooks and needed some AT THAT MOMENT for the walk I was about to take and it was fine.

5. Happy Place- Emily Henry

OK FOR GOD’S SAKE,  THIS BOOK FUCKING BROKE ME. Emily Henry can be hit or miss with me (never her writing!! But sometimes I just can’t connect to the actual story) but this was one grabbed me from the get-go, like a fucking hook in my heart, and never let up. I’m sorry, but she is so skilled at writing effortless, whippy, snappy dialogue to the point where I can watch these scene play out in my mind like Friends and Gilmore Girls merged to create one big epic world. My friend Megan said she thinks the writing is cheesy and I swear to god, it was the only time we have disagreed on books and I had to SMILE SWEETLY and politely disagree.

I am obsessed with Harriet and Wyn and need to read more about their lives. I need a spin-off. I need a TV series.

Also, the Last House on the Street also had a character named Win –  I can’t remember the spelling now but I thought it was weird that I was reading two books at the same time, each with a Wyn/Win.

AND THEY BOTH FIVE STARS SO I GUESS YOU COULD SAY IT WAS A WIN/WYN.

BOOM.

6. Secluded Cabin Sleeps Six – Lisa Unger

This so bad, a real snooze. I don’t even want to recap it.

7. Chlorine – Jade Song

OK, this made me physically hurt. The gist is that a young swimmer is obsessed with becoming a mermaid and then eventually…well, just read it. This book was outstanding. And it’s Song’s DEBUT NOVEL, to boot. I’m excited to read her next one!

8. The One – John Marrs

This was all the rage on Booktube when it came out and I finally gave it a shot. Eh, overrated, in my opinion. Too many characters, and not a single one that I gave a shit about. I would cringe and groan out loud anytime a chapter featuring certain storylines would pick back up.

I just thought it was hokey.

9. Did I Kill You? : A Thriller Novel – Harper Shaw

OMFG can we start with the fact that “A Thriller Novel” is in the title? Scribd has this idiotic THRILLER NOVEL ranked high on some list, I can’t remember which list but I fell for it. OK, so tropey. It’s a story you felt like you’ve read 100 times. I just kept shouting, “WHO CARES.” Every character was fucking stupid. The MAIN CHARACTER was supposed to be some bigshot NYC detective but she was so clueless?!

Ugh, this was so bad.

10. The Spare Room – Andrea Bartz

Dude. After I read Bartz’s novel “The Lost Night,” I was so excited to read more from her. I checked this one and another of hers out of the library at the same, totally stoked, right? How is this same author. Was she struck on the head? In all seriousness, it felt like this was written by a completely different person and one with much less skill, at that. The story was sloppy, nonsensical, idiotic; but the writing was the worst part to me. I was cringing, I was eye-rolling, I was huffing in frustration. At one point, I started skipping entire chunks of chapters because it was tiresome.

The main character was P A T H E T I C. I hate that every chapter had a reminder OF THE PANDEMIC, FACE MASKS, QUARENTINE, PODS. Ugh, it was tacky and boring and I want my time back. I should have DNFd but I didn’t have anything else on hand to read at the time. I ended up returning the other Bartz book at the same time, without even bothering to glance at the first chapter. Byeeee.

11. Nuclear Family – Joseph Han

The son of Korean immigrants living in Hawaii returns to South Korea to teach, where he is then possessed by the ghost of his dead grandfather who is trying to use his grandson’s body to cross the border into North Korea.

There is a lot more going on than that, with a big focus on the family’s struggling deli, once made popular and famous by Guy Fieri. I loved this. I love when books written by Korean Diaspora authors include actual Korean words, and of course I love when I, as a non-Korean, recognize cultural references, etc. That being said, I saw that this book got a lot of mixed reviews on Goodreads, mostly from non-Koreans. I’m wondering if this is the sort of book that would appeal mostly to Koreans and that is why it was missing the mark for some. I kept trying to imagine reading this if I was not Korea-obsessed – would I still like it? I can’t be sure. Maybe not as much.

I did listen to the audiobook of this though and the narrator was wonderful. To me, it was a great book to cap off a month of rocky reads!