Oct 172012
 

A few years ago, when I actually tried to be a part of the Blogosphere, I participated in a Blog Bash that some blogger broad was hosting. Basically, everyone posted shit about themselves, answered questions, and then went around reading everyone else’s shit.

I thought it would be fun to re-post mine and maybe, if anyone out there gives a shit, they can make their own post on their blog. JUST A THOUGHT.

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  • My birthday is July 30, 1979. That means I’m a Leo, which means I roar a lot. Which means I have an awesome singing voice.
  • My boyfriend Henry and I have been together since 2001. We did a REALLY SICK THING which produced a boy named Riley, but everyone calls him Chooch. You can too. He’s 4 now. 4 is the age where kids get the  manual on how to be dicks, in case you didn’t know. And if you have a 4-year-old and are disagreeing with this, then I hate you. Can we trade?
    • ACTUALLY, at the time of this posting, he’s six and has since earned a black belt in dickness.
  • I live in Pittsburgh! I hate it here!
  • I hate water towers, power plants/abandoned factories, the ocean, outer space, glaciers, Alaska, Miley Cyrus and Katy Perry, the Steelers, liars.
  • I like hockey!
  • My past time is stalking people and playing with animal masks. (Yes, in tandem.)
  • I like the Cure and most any music that features incessant screaming.
  • Annoying people with reckless abandon is sort of my thang.
  • I can turn any situation into a study of awkwardness.
  • I am a girl!
I am not going to include my name in the bullet points because I trust you have enough mental braun to figure it out all on your own.
 
And now I will answer these standardized questions, because if I don’t, I will be the first person ever to get jail time for defying the rules of a Blog Bash. (Plus, I’m a people pleaser. No, really.)

1.) Why do you blog?

It’s  my job to keep the pervs of the Internet abreast of my actions and whereabouts. Also, the tapping of the keyboard massages my frontal lobe. Also, because it’s basically the only way I can tell a story without someone constantly butting in. (That is a HUGE PET PEEVE. Remember this if you want to be my friend.)
 
Also #3, because I can’t get anyone to listen to me in real life.
2.) What do you blog about?

Good question! Pointless drivel, mostly. My blog is not the place you come to for answers, unless you’re looking for the best way to die at a county fair or what new falsetto-voiced scene boy to crush on. (Kellin Quinn all the way.)
 
I literally just blog about what I’m doing, while finding the most extreme sex analogies and metaphors to make the most menial activity feel like an afternoon of drowning in a pool of semen and butt plugs. It is my specialty, something that makes my grandma proud.

3.) What do you find to be the biggest reward you get from blogging?

It helps release pressure from my brain. Also, it’s nice to have things chronicled so I can, say, search through the backlog of March 2008 and prove to Henry that he did indeed go down on a tranny in NYC after buying red velvet cupcakes from Magnolia.

4.) How long have you been blogging?

Since it first began. I gave birth to blogging. Its father is an Apple II GS.
For honest:  2001-2007 as “vagynafondue” on LiveJournal, and then on this here site since then. I’ve been journaling in general since 4th grade though. It’s an addiction. Worse than crack, except I get to keep my teeth.

5.) Let’s hear the story behind your blog title!

My grandma and I have a very illustrious history, full of afternoons  light-hearted flour fights during impromptu snickerdoodle bake-offs and reading Dickens together beneath a parasol.

That’s a lie. I don’t know why I typed that just now.

The truth is that I was always the black sheep, that a lot of my actions or ideas shamed my grandma. Even as a small child, when I would fuck up, she would sigh exasperatedly (sometimes even disgustedly while running a red pen across my name on her Will) and say, “Oh honestly, Erin.”

And not a day goes by where I don’t have some extent of an “Oh honestly” moment.

Now you know.

  4 Responses to “Erin Rachelle Kelly, 101”

  1. I’ve filled out a few of these question meme thingies in the past. Like you, at one time, I thought it would fabulous to be a part of the blogosphere. Well, I guess I am but not on the level that I once dreamed about. I have a little bitty place and that’s okay. I still occasionally daydream about what it would be like to have 100 readers haha

    Anyway, all of that to say that I enjoyed reading about you 101.

    I am tryin to find someone to go see The Cult with me… oh man, Trent Reznor really does it for me! So far I’m SOL…. such is life Something tells me that if you lived down in the Valley of Texas you’d go.

  2. Me likey this!*

    *Probably the shortest comment I have ever commented. Sorry. :-( But…….me likey this!

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